Hatsukoi
by Amarissia
Summary: From Tenimyu to Takumi-kun, Daisuke and Kyousuke find their way to each other. The road won't be an easy one. Rated M, angst, real people. Chapter 20 finally up, so sorry for wait!
1. Chapter 1

_Here's the new multi-chapter I've been hinting at, where we begin with Tenimyu and go right through Takumi-kun. This involves real people, most of whom I know NOTHING about, so don't read if that offends you and please don't expect accuracy. Timeline will also be extremely fuzzy, partly out of ignorance and partly to suit my story needs._

 _This is a DaiMao story, but there will be other characters, er, involved. Angst as usual, badbadtouch, hurt/comfort, Mao is pedo-bait. As always, Tomo is snarky, because it pleases me._

 _"Hatsukoi" means "first love." Update schedule will depend on how fast the writing goes, so no promises! But I'm dedicated - the story will get done. Ready? Okay._

 **HATSUKOI**  
 **Chapter 1**

 _ **Aniki,**_

 _ **I told you I'd email every day, see? I miss you and Touchan and Kaachan already, but I'm fine, really. It's already interesting, and it's only been one day.**_

 _ **We haven't started rehearsals yet, really. We were told to take the day, between fittings and table reads, to get to know each other. I'll tell you a little about my teammates. You might want to save this email to refer back to. Do you still save all my mails? You have such a brother-complex.**_

 _ **My Golden Pair partner, Oishi, is being played by Toyoda Yuya. He's really friendly and promises to look after me. He's three years older but a lot of fun. He joked that I could call him "Aibou" but Masuda-san (our minder) says that could start rumors. Yuya is really kind and I think he'll be a good friend.**_

 _ **Fuji Shusuke is being played by Furukawa Yuuta. He's four years older, also nice, but quiet like his character. He says he prefers to listen rather than talk. He's really handsome and the girls are going to go nuts over him, I hope he doesn't mind.**_

 _ **Inui Sadaharu is played by Takahashi Yuuta; we call him Taka to avoid confusion, since we have a Yuuta already. He's kind of intense but goofy too; he got Masuda-san with a whoopie cushion and kept a straight face while we laughed. He seems to be getting in character, wearing his glasses a lot. He seems smart and told me to tell him if I need homework help. He's seven years older, by the way.**_

 _ **Kawamura Takashi is played by Ogasawara Hiroaki, or Hiro-san. He's nine years older, which seems like a lot. I haven't gotten much of an impression of him yet. I think he's concentrating a lot.**_

 _ **Momoshiro Takeshi, played by Makita Tetsuya. He's seven years older, and I don't think he's too keen on making friends, he mostly just talks to Hiro-san. Well, I can't make friends with everyone, right? He did call me cute. Blech, you know how I feel about that. :(**_

 _ **Kaidou Kaoru, the tough guy, is being played by Yanagishita Tomo, three years older. He's interesting. He has a very sweet look but he rolls his eyes a lot and has a dry, sarcastic sense of humor. I can't tell yet if we'll get along. He's got everyone calling me "MaoMao," and one other thing...**_

 _ **Our youngest, and star, Echizen Ryoma, is Sakamoto Shogo, he's two years younger. He's a lot more humble than his character, but seems confident and comfortable, much more than I'd be. The others and the crew are referring to us as "the babies." Shogo will be doing tutoring with me, so I hope we get along.**_

 _ **Finally, Watanabe Daisuke is our captain, Tezuka Kunimitsu, nine years my senior and our senpai. It's funny, sometimes he's really serious like Tezuka, and the next he's doing funny poses. (He likes to imitate Beat Takeshi-san.) He looks like a movie star, really handsome, and reminds me of you. He says he'll be looking after all of us, and he actually pulled me aside and said if anyone bothers me to tell him right away. I don't know why he's worried, everyone seems so nice.**_

 _ **And that's what I know about the 4th generation Seigaku! I, of course, am Kikumaru Eiji, the oddball acrobat. I hope I make everyone proud, especially you guys. Talk to you soon!**_

 _ **\- Kyou-chan**_

 _daimaodaimao_

Kyousuke was a patient 16-year-old, thankfully, because after accepting the role in Tenimyu, it seemed life was all meetings. Here they were in one, after a table read that their director Ryokyou-san seemed pleased with. Kyousuke looked around at his castmates. Tomo had pulled his bandana over his eyes, Taka was in character and studying a notebook. Yuya, next to him, patted his arm, and Daisuke gave him a reassuring smile, having sensed the kid was uncertain about his performance.

"Okay," Masuda called them to order, "let's go over and rehash a few things. First, I'm depending on all of you to behave like good citizens here and on the road. I don't want complaints or calls from police. Even those of you who are of age, no drinking, no clubbing. If you want to leave the hotel, you need my permission, and no going off alone. You'll be busy, so I expect you to eat properly and get as much rest as you need each night. No getting sick either."

Tomo fake-sneezed.

"No diva behavior, and no fighting amongst yourselves. We're glad to have you all, but you're replaceable. I doubt I need to say this, but you're expected to attend all your scheduled lessons and give one hundred and ten percent."

Taka squinted. "According to my calculations, not mathematically possible."

"Funny. If you need extra help, ask, no matter what it's for. Family can visit, but give us notice first. Shogo and Mao-kun, we and Daisuke-san have spoken to your parents and will be giving them reports. I know it's hard being away from home, but please think of us as family."

Shogo shrugged and smiled prettily. Yuya squeezed Kyousuke's shoulder. "We're here for you, babies," Yuuta said.

"I don't babysit. Ow." Daisuke had shoved Tomo. "I'm reporting that."

"Roommate assignments for the hotels are subject to change, but for now stay as follows. Tomo and Watanabe. Makita and Ogasawara. Mao-kun and Yuya. Shogo and Yuuta. Taka, you'll be with one of the Higa team, Aramaki Yoshihiko."

"Don't worry, guys. I'll take notes on the enemy."

"Everywhere we go together, we use the buddy system and do head counts. Please don't blow your per diems on junk food, the caterer has asked me to tell you. What little time you have off needs to be approved by me, and if I say a guard needs to be with you, no arguing. Mao-kun and Shogo, you two stay indoors or within sight of at least one person in this room or the tutor. I had to swear on my unborn children to your parents you'd be watched, and Mao-kun, your brother..."

"Whatever Aniki threatened, I apologize," Kyousuke groaned.

"Make sure he hears from you every day, or he'll have my head and I'd like to keep it."

Yuya smiled. "Cute."

"On that note, babies, I'd like you to leave the room briefly and wait in the corridor for me to get you."

Shogo pouted. He was a cute boy, used to getting what he wanted. "No fair. We can handle whatever you - "

"Nope. Out."

They obeyed, and Kyousuke, at least, did so without argument. Masuda sighed when the door was shut.

"I'll get right to the point. We consider looks when casting, which is why you're all handsome - "

"Flattered but not interested, thanks," Tomo said flatly.

"I heard he's with the guy he did that BL movie with," Makita whispered to Ogasawara.

"I don't put out for everyone who gropes me," Tomo said coolly.

Masuda cleared his throat. "I need your help, all of you. We've been cursed or blessed with unusually pretty cast babies, and they're at an age when hormones lead to experimentation. I don't mean to suggest any of you would touch them, but I've been asked to remind you. Mao and Shogo are underage, please remember that."

Daisuke spoke up. "Also, they'll be getting a lot of attention from the audience. We have to make sure they don't sneak girls in the hotel, or see any of us doing so."

"MaoMao especially," Tomo added dryly. "From the looks of him, he's as innocent as a toddler. Shogo may be younger, but this is MaoMao's first time away from home and people look at him like they want to swallow him."

Yuya frowned. "Yeah, Shogo at least laughs it off when he's being checked out, but I don't think MaoMao has ever looked in a mirror."

Ogasawara scribbled a note and showed it to Makita. **I'd like to** **fuck** **him in front of a mirror.**

"I've made sure they both know," Daisuke was saying, "to come to me if anyone bothers either of them. But we all need to keep an eye out. We'll be working with some different crew in each venue, mostly male."

Masuda nodded.

"We haven't had problems before," Ryokyou, the director, volunteered, "but I want to keep it that way."

"Question, are they allowed to fuck _each other_?"

Daisuke smacked Tomo's head sharply.

 _daimaodaimao_

"Can you hear anything?"

"Not really. At home I use a glass. Am I too heavy for you?"

"No," Kyousuke said, though the boy leaning over his back against the door was a little heavier than himself. "Maybe we shouldn't be doing this."

"It's not fair to keep secrets just because we're younger," Shogo reasoned.

"What do you think it's about?"

"Probably orders not to share porn or groupies with us."

Kyousuke blinked. Shogo was definitely the more worldly of the two of them, but then, he'd been acting since he learned to walk.

"Share groupies? Like...share a girl? But what girl would...I mean...with more than one guy?"

"Lots of them, trust me. Even the moms do it. I've had 40-year-old women _and_ 12-year-old girls offer themselves to me, just because I'm an actor."

The older boy blinked again. "Is that what Buchou meant? He seemed to be saying people might bother me."

"Oh, yeah," Shogo said casually, "and not just girls, men too. You know what homosexuality is, right?"

"Of course!"

"You just look like you've never even masturbated." Straining to hear now, the boy didn't register Kyousuke's gaping mouth and blush. "I think I heard 'toddler.' Jeez, we're not real babies."

"Shogo? What should I do if...someone...um..."

"Makes a pass at you? If you're not interested, say no thanks. If it goes badly, scream, kick, whatever you have to. If you like the person, you'll have to keep it secret, but experiment."

"...do you?"

"Just kissing sometimes. Not many will risk doing more with jailbait. A designer guy touched my crotch once, but he stopped when I said I'd tell. Don't be scared, MaoMao. Buchou has barely taken his eyes off you, you'll be safe."

For reasons he didn't know, Kyousuke's faint blush returned. "He's nice."

"If you ask me, I think he likes - "

The door suddenly opened, and the crouching teenagers tumbled into the conference room, sprawled over each other and trying to look innocent. Daisuke thought the way Kyousuke bit his lip was adorable. He had felt oddly drawn to the boy since their introduction, telling himself it was because Kyousuke, of all of them, needed protection the most. Subconsciously, he was trying to think of the kid as a painting - nice to look at. No more.

The actors gathered around to see the mess of tangled limbs, and several of them briefly entertained a dirty thought. Of course, Tomo was the one to voice it.

"See? Maybe they _are_ fucking."

"Shut up, Tomo," Daisuke warned as he gave Kyousuke a hand up, and Yuya did so for Shogo. "You okay, Mao-kun?"

"Hai. Um, I'm sorry, Masuda-san, Ryokyou-sensei."

"At least _you_ feel some remorse. Shogo-kun, your spying skills need work," the director quipped.

The youngest grinned. "Mada mada da ne."

 _daimaodaimao_

As the first few days of rehearsals passed, Kyousuke began to get used to the hotel, the new faces, the blur of lessons and run-throughs and costume fittings. The Seigaku team wore their blue and white jackets proudly, even over their regular clothes. Their opposing team did too, though the two groups didn't see each other except on stage. Tomo refused to learn any of their opponents' names and soon had everyone referring to them by numbers. The snarky boy was briefly in an even fouler mood because a handsome young man named Kato Keisuke visited him, and they were caught kissing. Yuya told Kyousuke the two had done a BL movie together, and rumors said there might be sequels.

Kyousuke wasn't sure that was a good idea. He asked Tomo politely if he was going to reprise his role, and Tomo told the boy _he_ should try for the part, and was whapped by Daisuke for saying he was "tired of being a fucking uke, ow, Dai-chan, what's your problem?"

"Watch your language around the kids, or I'm telling your mother on you."

"You're not a real captain, Dai-chan. You'd make a good Gii, though, you should audition. Of course, you might have to grope MaoMao."

Daisuke glanced seriously at Kyousuke. "Go be snarky elsewhere, Tomo."

"I just - "

"GO." Once they were alone, Daisuke looked with concern at the clearly-embarrassed Kyousuke. "You all right?"

"Yes," Kyousuke said quickly, trying to seem adult when he appeared nothing but young. "Um, I guess Tomo-san takes getting used to. You seem to know him better."

"His secret boyfriend is a friend. Tomo doesn't mean any harm, he just doesn't have much of a mental filter. If he upsets you and you don't want to smack him, just tell me."

"I'll be fine, Buchou. Um, I hope my brother didn't say anything weird or mean to you when you talked to my family."

 _Nothing I can't see for myself, that you're pedo-bait and oblivious and need to be watched like a hawk. And that you've never dated because no girl wants a guy prettier than her, and I'm expected to return you in un-molested and like-new condition. Unless you have zero interest in experimenting, I don't know how I'm going to do that, since your rommmate and three-quarters of everyone here is drooling over you, and I need to stop wondering what you look like without your clothes._

"Are you okay, Buchou?"

"Yeah, sorry. I get lost in my thoughts sometimes."

"Were you thinking about your character? Is that why you're wearing the glasses?"

Daisuke smiled and adjusted them. "I should find it easy, I always seem to get cast as humorless, serious grumps."

"I wonder why. You don't seem like that most of the time."

"Yeah. I hope you have a high tolerance for senpais who giggle and joke a lot."

The teenager smiled, a disarmingly beautiful sight. "I hope you don't mind a kouhai who's a bit quiet."

"No worries. I love being around cuteness."

Kyousuke looked down and shuffled his feet. Threats from a big brother or no, Daisuke resolved that nothing bad would happen to this angelic boy on his watch.

 _daimaodaimao_

"Can I have a break?"

Yuka-sensei, a tall and pretty woman, shook her head. "You just had one, Shogo-kun."

"My brain hurts. I don't get algebra."

Kyousuke looked from his own book to the younger boy's paper. "You have to do the problems in parentheses first. Then the multiplication and division, and the adding and subtracting last. That's why you're getting it wrong."

"Oh, right. I can never remember. What about this one, with the exponent?"

"First, with the parentheses."

"Do you like math, MaoMao?"

"Not really. I'm doing calculus now and it's way worse than algebra."

A sigh. "Sensei, I'll never need this stuff. I'm an actor."

"You never know, Shogo-kun," Yuka chuckled. "You might not always be adorable. It's a good idea to get a degree to fall back on. Do you plan to stick to acting too, Mao-kun?"

"I don't know," Kyousuke said honestly. "I like it. But my dad wants me to go to university. My brother is studying to be a veterinarian. I'd like working with animals."

"I like them too, although unlike my character, I have dogs. Do you have a pet?"

Kyousuke happily pulled up a photo on his phone. "A cat, Roku."

"Aw."

"I miss him so much."

"Back to work, boys," Yuka said gently. "Remember, grades stay up or you aren't allowed to perform."

A stagehand knocked on the ajar door. "Sensei, we need them for choreography."

Yuka groaned. "Mao-kun's done enough for now, he can go, but Shogo-kun has to finish this page. I'll send him out when he's done."

"Sensei, he's the star, the whole dance centers around him."

"Right now he's a middle-school student whose parents are trusting me to educate him. Use his stand-in."

"Thank you, Sensei," Kyousuke said as he left.

 _What a polite child. Yes, child, don't stare at his ass. Shogo's cute too. Uh-oh, he's smirking. Did he see me looking at his crotch?_

"Sensei," the 14-year-old said in a silky voice, "will we be doing any...sex education?"

 _Oh God._ Yuka cleared her throat. "Er, we're leaving that to your parents."

"But what if I have questions? I can ask you, right? I'm really...curious."

Yuka felt like her face was on fire. The damn kid was smirking seductively at her.

"I-I can tell you're not concentrating, Shogo-kun. Go on, you can finish later, just this once."

She put her cheek against the cool table once he was gone. Shogo grinned as he bounced out to the dance studio and accepted his racket.

 _Oh, yeah. No one can resist the Prince of Tennis._

 _daimaodaimao_

 _ **Aniki,**_

 _ **I'm telling you and hoping you read this before Ryokyou-sensei calls Touchan and Kaachan, because I want you to stay calm. I'm okay and everything is fine, it was nothing really. Just, one of the costume assistants was fitting me and told me when we were alone to take off my underwear. Don't freak out, I said no and told Buchou, and he told Sensei and the guy got fired.**_

 _ **I'm counting on you to not let Touchan or Kaachan go nuts and drag me home. If anything, this proves I'm safe here. Buchou says from now on he'll be supervising my fittings, and he asked me a hundred times if I'm okay, just like you would've done. Tomo said - and I hope he's joking - that he's going to paint an English word on the guy's car, I think it was "baby-fucker." No one would tell me what it means, and I'm guessing you won't.**_

 _ **I know you worry about me a lot and you think everyone's out to hurt me, but really, I'll be fine. Everybody is keeping a close eye on me and I'm okay. I think Yuya wants to talk to me, so bye till tomorrow.**_

 _ **Love,**_  
 _ **Kyou-chan**_

 _daimaodaimao_

His roommate waited till Kyousuke had closed his laptop and turned around. "Are you all right?"

"I knew you were going to ask that."

"Don't sound so dejected, MaoMao. Everybody's just worried about you."

"It's no big deal, really."

"Let me guess," Yuya said with a frown, "this happens all the time."

"No."

"Why are you lying?"

"Not...to this extent. People have touched a few times, but no one can know. My parents and Aniki would never let me out of the house again."

Yuya looked sad. "Sensei is bringing a therapist in tomorrow to make sure you're okay, and I think it's a good idea. You shouldn't think it's normal to be molested."

"I haven't been molested!" Kyousuke fought to keep his voice soft. "I don't need a therapist, it was just brief touches - "

"Touches where?"

Kyousuke shook his head. He didn't like to think about this, much less speak of it.

"Ass, crotch, under your shirt, where?"

"Yes, but it doesn't - "

"It does matter," Yuya said, more gently. "Who was it? Teachers, family friends?"

Shrinking back, Kyousuke nodded. Yuya approached him, touched his shoulder.

"Is this okay?"

"You don't have to ask, I'm not some victim."

"I know. Look, I'm your partner and I want to be your friend. Everypne wants to protect you and that includes me. Don't let anyone touch you without permission and don't excuse those who do. Okay?"

"...okay."

"Let's practice. Can I touch your face?"

Confusion. "Why?"

"I'm curious. You can say no."

"You can, but curious about what?"

"If you're as soft as you look." Yuya's open hand rested gently on his cheek and stroked it. "Yep. Wow."

Kyousuke wasn't used to being touched this way, didn't know what to make of the affection in the dark eyes. He felt warm, faintly giddy, and felt a very slight and tentative desire to have his very first kiss. Yuya was looking at him with want, even the innocent boy could tell that, but he soon pulled his hand away.

"Yuya?"

"Talk to the therapist tomorrow, prove you're okay, then I'll tell you anything you want to know. Let's get some sleep now, so we're rested for rehearsal."

Confused as he was, Kyousuke let his anxieties go and drifted off quickly. Once he was out, Yuya turned the thermostat up and slowly pulled the blanket off Kyousuke, revealing a slender, growing body clad in almost sheer white pajamas. He imagined stripping it and touching it all over as he began to stroke himself.

 **To be continued.**

 **Please don't make me explain "Mada mada da ne." It's Shogo's character's catch-phrase, and it's kind of like, "You're not there yet, you still have a lot to work on," I think.**


	2. Chapter 2

_I'm a bit blocked at the moment, maybe updating will spur me into writing._

 _Same warnings as always apply! Real people involved, run away if that's an issue for you._

 **HATSUKOI**  
 **Chapter 2**

Growing up with Shinnosuke's brother-complex equipped Kyousuke for the next day's incessant "Are you okay?" queries. But it was getting old, and consoling his aniki and parents over the phone left the kid frazzled by the time he sat down opposite the man who identified himself as Dr. Harada. Even the sympathetic smile directed at him had the boy near tears.

"How are you feeling, Hamao-kun?"

"I'm fine. You can tell Sensei I'm fine."

"Your hands are shaking."

Kyousuke dropped them to his lap. "It's not because...I'm just anxious."

"I'll try to make this quick. Tell me what you remember happening."

The boy took a deep breath. "Ryu-san said my uniform pants were too big and he had to measure me for alterations. The head designer had to leave early so we were alone, and I took off my jeans so he could measure my legs. His hand kind of...brushed... then he said it would be easier without my underwear, so take them off. I felt uncomfortable and said no, and Ryu-san said I'd get in trouble. I put my pants back on and told Buchou."

"Watanabe Daisuke."

"Yeah. Daisuke-san asked Taka-san to stay with me, and he went and told Sensei and Masuda-san. They all came back and told me it's okay, he was fired."

"Did that make you feel better?"

"No, I felt bad. It seemed extreme."

"Sexual abuse of a minor is very serious," the doctor said reasonably. "Had you not told, you could have been badly hurt. Has anyone else ever touched you in a way that made you feel uncomfortable?"

"A couple times, but I'm fine."

"You seem angry."

"Everyone's acting like I'm made of glass, I get enough of that with Aniki. I just want to be treated like everyone else."

"Do you think it's acceptable for adult strangers to touch you intimately?" Harada asked matter-of-factly.

"No. It's just that I'm okay."

"Do you think it's your fault?"

"No, but...no."

"But what?"

"Nothing."

"I can keep you here all day," the therapist said with a smile.

"Ryu-san seemed nice."

"You're thinking there's something wrong with you that people are reacting to?"

"N-No," the boy sort-of lied.

"You give off nothing but a pleasant air of innocence, Hamao-kun. Other people's perversions say nothing about you as a person. Please keep that in mind."

"Will you tell them I'm okay? Please?"

"If you give your word you will tell an adult whenever an inappropriate touch happens."

"Yes, Sensei."

"Okay. You can go now."

Daisuke was waiting for him in the hallway. Kyousuke thought he should be angred to be shadowed, but he felt strangely happy whenever the man was near him.

"Hi, Mao-kun. I was about to pull you out of there, I don't want you missing lunch. Come on."

While they stood in line for their food, Daisuke chattered about rehearsals and the script, light conversation that visibly calmed the boy.

Daisuke chose curry while Kyousuke opted for plain rice. "You don't like spciy stuff? I can't live without it. Here, Tomo said the pudding is good. Chocolate or vanilla?"

"Neither, thanks."

"Both it is." Daisuke plopped them on his tray. "Ooh, sweet tea, I loved this stuff when I was in New York. You've got to try it and you could use the calories."

"Why were you in New York?" Kyousuke asked as they picked an empty table. "What's it like?"

"Like Tokyo. You're from here, right? Yeah. I was doing a semester abroad in university, studying architecture. I was doing so much theater, I should have just gotten a degree in that instead."

"A lot of math, right? You can help Shogo with his algebra," Kyousuke laughed. "He'd probably give you his per diem if you do it for him."

Daisuke smiled. "Are you feeling better?"

Kyousuke frowned. "I'm fine. I've been fine."

"That's worrying in itself. If this was an isolated incident, you'd be reacting more." The elder sighed. "I intend to return you to Shinnosuke-san in one happy piece. But you need to help me. It was good you came and told me. Please keep doing so."

"I will. But I wish you guys would just let me forget it."

"Can you? I'd be freaked out for weeks if it happened to me. You're really strong."

Kyousuke smiled. "Thannk you for saying it that way. Usually people tell me I'm stronger than I look."

Daisuke returned the expression. "What I see has nothing to do with size. I think you're plenty strong."

 _daimaodaimao_

Masuda and Ryokyou-sensei wanted very much for their cast to bond, figuring that real friendships would translate to on-stage chemistry. The Seigaku teammates seemed to be getting along, and the director sometimes helped by organizing activities for them. On this night, he had splurged and reserved an entire private room for them at a nearby sushi restaurant, and the young men enjoyed a long table of food while chatting to each other.

To Kyousuke's relief, he was no longer being incessantly asked if he was okay, though he was frequently being hugged and petted. He had never much liked being touched, but Daisuke's pat of his arm, even more than Yuya's stroke of his hair, made him feel an odd mixture of shyness and elation.

Shogo continued to be cocky, taking the seat at the head of the table, but he was so charming and flirty that he was usually forgiven. Yuuta whispered to Taka that they would indeed need to watch their star, as he was very obviously checking out the good-looking servers, both male and female. Most just laughed at his advances, though one woman was asked to leave the room after offering the boy her phone number. Masuda was heard to mutter something about needing a drink and went to make a complaint to the manager.

Kyousuke was seated between Ogasawara and Yuya, his Golden Pair partner and roommate. The former often glanced at him but spoke little more than offers of dishes, but Yuya smiled at the younger boy and told him he had done really well at rehearsal.

"Thanks. I've never danced before. Like, ever."

"You're flexible, I can tell from the way you stretch, that helps. Never? Not even at school dances?"

"Girls have never liked me."

"Do you...like them?"

Kyousuke colored a little bit. "I haven't yet really. My mom says I'm a late bloomer."

"I'm the opposite. I'm told I actually proposed to my first kanji teacher in first grade. I do remember he was cute."

Kyousuke laughed. "I wish I'd seen that. How did he react?"

"Just laughed, apparently. All the girls liked him too. I must have wanted to impress him, because my writing is very good. What subjects do you like, MaoMao?"

"History is my favorite. My kanji is kind of messy. I like English, but I'm terrible at it."

"You look like an angel," Yuya said in English.

"See, I didn't understand you."

"That was my intent. Maybe I can help you with it. What about it is hard for you?"

"Sentence structure, pronunciation, verbs, all of it."

Meanwhile, Tomo was smirking between bites of maguro. This wasn't unusual, but Daisuke finally asked the younger what was so amusing.

"Just you. You set yourself up as the great jailbait protector, yet you do nothing but look at our little MaoMao."

"I'm keeping an eye on him. He was sexually harassed the other day, remember? I can't tell if he's really okay or just putting on a brave face."

"No need to be defensive, it was just an observation. He is kind of interesting."

Daisuke frowned

"Not like that. You know I'm spoken for. I just mean I've never known anyone so oblivious to his own allure. Poor Yuya's got stars in his eyes and I don't think Mao has any idea. I bet you a thousand yen he's never even dated."

"He hasn't, his brother told me."

"What about kissed?"

"As far as Shinnosuke-san knows, no."

"You've got your work cut out for you, Buchou. The kid is now living in a sea of male hormones. He'll be propositioned at the very least."

"It's not like I can forbid him to mess around, if it's with someone close to his age. Everyone experiments at sixteen."

"I wonder if he even masturbates."

"Tomo."

"Don't act like you haven't imagined it. Even I have, and ukes are not my thing."

"I'm sure he does, not that it's any of our business."

"Pics or it didn't happen."

"If you do or say anything that upsets him, remember that I have copies of really cutesy emails between you and Keisuke."

Tomo hmphed. "I can always say we were getting in character."

"Why aren't you guys returning for the sequel?"

"Kei won't without me, and Takumi is depressing."

"Sweet, though."

"MaoMao would do him well."

Daisuke laughed. "His family would never let him do a BL at his age."

"Maybe if he had a Gii they're learning to trust."

"I couldn't touch him like that."

"Even though you want to?"

Daisuke denied nothing, said nothing at all.

 _daimaodaimao_

Ogasawara and Makita had largely been ignoring the point of the outing, socializing very little. The former had eaten a chunk of wasabi and yelled "Burning!", his signature from the musical, and gotten a round of applause. But for the most part, the two young men sat a bit further back from the table than the others and texted each other. They made sure no one could see their phones, with good reason. Ogasawara was the clear leader of the two, but both had one thing on their minds.

 **I got a glimpse of Mao in his briefs while we were switching costumes. I wanted to rip them off.**

 **He's definitely a virgin. He must be so tight.**

 **What would you want first, mouth or hole?**

 **I just want to put my mouth all over him. You?**

 **I want to deflower him before anyone else gets to him. After that, I want to sample the rest of him.**

Makita glanced up and over. **Yuya's got a better chance than we do. He makes Mao smile.**

 **He's a coward. He must have had tons of chances and hasn't taken them. If I roomed with Mao he'd be loose by now.**

"What do you suppose they're snickering about?" Yuya whispered to Kyousuke.

"No idea. Inside joke, I guess."

"Better smile at Buchou, he keeps looking at you all worried."

Kyousuke offered his captain a slightly shy grin, and the man looked back affectionately and mouthed "Okay?" The boy nodded, and Daisuke turned back to Tomo, who appeared to be using his fingers to mime two people kissing. Daisuke smacked him but smiled, and for a moment Kyousuke wondered if they liked each other. He was disturbed enough to ask Yuya.

"Those two? Nah, Buchou and Tomo are just friends. Tomo's dating that guy who visited him."

"The one he did a movie with, right." _Why do I feel so relieved?_ "I wonder why he tries to hide it."

"Maybe his management agency told him to appear available to the female fans. That's what mine told me. What about you?"

"Yeah...they said if I find a girl I want to date, I have to clear it with them first. They didn't say anything about...guys."

"Yours are smarter than mine, then. Girls love the idea of two idols they like dating each other. Have you seen the fanfic they write about 'Prince of Tennis' and the musical actors before us?"

"No. Are they going to write about us?"

"Oh, yeah. Bet there'll be a lot pairing you and me, since we're partners."

Kyousuke felt a little flushed, hoped it didn't show, and took a sip of cool tea. Yuya briefly stroked his hand, and he remembered something.

"You said if the psychiatrist said I'm okay, I could ask you anything."

"Hmm, yeah. How about your parents, how do they feel?"

"They were upset. They're letting me stay on the condition I not be left alone, and Buchou promised he'd keep a closer eye on me. Why do you worry about me so much?"

"We all do, MaoMao. It's not just an obligation or your age. It's the same instinct that keeps a person from netting a butterfly or trampling a flower. You're something special and you need to be protected."

"I don't understand."

"You do. You just don't like it. What do you really want to ask, MaoMao?"

A hesitation. "Why did you want to touch me? And don't tell me I'm a flower or something silly like that."

"You don't realize..." Yuya smiled. "You're so cute. It's because I like you."

"Like me?"

"Does that upset you?"

"No," Kyousuke said honestly. "I'm just confused."

"You don't see why someone would like you?"

"No."

"That makes you even cuter."

"What should I do?"

"Do you like me like that?"

Kyousuke frowned. "I honestly don't know."

"You don't have to do anything. Just give me a chance to win you over."

Kyousuke looked into the warm, dark eyes. Nothing scary there, all softness and affection. Did he like Yuya? He liked him a lot as a friend, and was attracted to him. Was that enough? The boy glanced very quickly at Daisuke. The elder was worlds away, an adult who saw him as a kid.

Kyousuke smiled weakly. "Okay."

 **To be continued.**

 **I promise, this will end up being Dai/Mao. This is just...yeah.**


	3. Chapter 3

_Sorry for my lateness. Writing is going slow, so I'm trying to stagger the updates to match. But maybe putting this one up will encourage me to put pen to paper. It will be completed, I promise. I have a minor surgery coming up with a tiny bit of downtime, so maybe I'll make use of that and get off YouTube for a minute or two._

 _Sexual stuff ahead, warning blah blah, real people who I don't know. Enjoy!_

 **HATSUKOI**  
 **Chapter 3**

 **Aniki,**

 **Rehearsals are getting more intense. But I think my endurance is improving. We did our first full run-through and we all collapsed at the end, but I noticed this morning my energy was back. Ryokyou-sensei says he's happy with us, and the vocal coach is too. I still feel a little awkward singing and dancing in front of people, but I guess I better get used to it.**

 **Since you asked, yes, I'm doing my homework. It's a little strange to be away from school, but I'm keeping in touch with my friends there. Yuka-sensei is very nice, but she sometimes seems flustered. I think she's not used to actors, or maybe it's because Shogo keeps flirting with her. He flirts with everyone, though. It's driving Ryokyou-sensei and Masuda-san crazy. Taka says it's normal for his age, but I was never like that.**

 **You can tell Touchan and Kaachan that I'm being watched like a hawk. I had to go to the bathroom during dance rehearsal today and Hiro-san actually went with me and waited outside in the hallway. I had to convince him he didn't have to come in the room. I guess he was worried, he stared a lot.**

 **I miss you guys and love you.**

 **\- Kyou-chan**

 _daimaodaimao_

Kyousuke closed his laptop with a sigh. He had very nearly asked Shinnosuke what to do when you might like someone, but he couldn't think how to phrase it. He had always gone to his brother for advice, but knew he wouldn't approve of his little sibling being involved with any of his older castmates.

 _I don't even know what I feel or want. I would just confuse Aniki, in addition to risking him dragging me home._

"You okay?"

Kyousuke stated, he had not heard Yuya come out of the bathroom. "Uh-huh."

"Come over here a sec."

Kyouske sat on his bed and Yuya on his, the actors facing each other. Yuya leaned forward, took the younger's hand and cradled it.

"You're troubled. I'm sorry."

"I'm fine! Really."

"You're troubled," Yuya repeated. "What can I do to help?"

"I just..." Kyousuke looked at the hand being stroked. "I should know how I feel and I don't. It's like that part of my brain won't turn on, like I'm defective."

"You're just inexperienced," Yuya said gently. "I barely even asked you if you prefer girls."

"I don't think I do." _I like looking at Yuya. I like looking at Buchou..._ "What were you like when you were my age?"

A laugh. "The opposite of you. Experimenting with lots of guys, letting my hormones run wild."

"Maybe I don't have any."

"Or you've hated being stared at so much that you've closed yourself off."

"How did you know people stare?"

"I see you. It was a guess. MaoMao, we're all nervous before we do anything."

"Do you mean it will help me to do something?" Kyousuke asked sincerely.

"Maybe. I can't say 'Yes' any way but selfishly. I'd love to help you figure it out. But I don't want to force or guilt you."

The voice and expression were so kind, the eyes full of warmth. Kyousuke wrapped his fingers around the hand holding his and squeezed. Yuya smiled, and Kyousuke did the same. He felt safe here, even when the other hand approached his face. Fingertips ghosted over his hair, traced his cheekbones. The palm rubbed gentle circles into the skin, stayed there for what seemed a long time.

It felt nice, like pure affection, like nothing was expected of him except enjoyment. Kyousuke turned into the hand and tickled his palm with his mouth. The thumb brushed over his lips, and despite its slow pace, Kyousuke felt a strange urgency. He wanted something to happen, but didn't know what.

A fire was burning in Yuya, and while he could ignore his crotch for now, he wasn't sure about the rest of him. The boy across from him was innocence personified, but he was trembling a little, eyes a bit glazed with an unfamiliar desire. Heavier, uneven breaths were flying across his wrist.

Slowly, Yuya stood, and very gently took Kyousuke by the arms and drew him to his feet. One hand settled on the back of his neck, the other encircled his waist, and Yuya leaned in to make their noses touch.

"Can I kiss you?" the elder whispered.

An immediate if distracted nod answered. Yuya gratefully claimed the rosy lips, pressed chaste but slow pecks to them. Kyousuke opened his mouth to sigh, and Yuya deepened the kiss, moved against the parted lips for a short while before tentatively letting his tongue be felt. He licked a little and waited for Kyousuke to take in the probing tongue before he pushed further. Kyousuke's first kiss remained slow, but the passion in it was undeniable.

Now that he actually had the boy in his arms, a contented calm tempered his want. He was able to be gentle and instructive, and feel a rush of love and protectiveness when Kyousuke swayed a little. Yuya held him close, stroked his lower back, was ready to let him go at the first hint of struggle but only found a shy, sweet willingness. When the boy's head finally fell away, it seemed to be only to breathe.

Cutely (he was always cute), Kyousuke pressed his face to Yuya's shoulder as though to hide. Yuya hugged him, carded fingers through his sweet-smelling hair, never wanted to let this angel out of his hold. He felt so warm, so soft and slender, so light even though he was nearly dead weight.

"MaoMao," he said softly, through lips that wanted more, "how was your first kiss?"

"Nice," was the quiet answer. "Thank you."

 _I love you, I want you, I want you to be mine._ "No pressure, right? I could have put you off guys forever."

Kyousuke laughed softly; it vibrated against the elder's neck. It was strange but comfortable to be held like this. He had never liked being touched by anyone but family, but the fleeting unwanted gropes of strangers seemed far away now. He made a questioning noise, followed by a sigh when Yuya's lips touched the vein in his neck and kissed along it.

The hair was herbal and citrus, the skin tasted almost floral, addictive. Kyousuke tilted his head to allow the exploration, it lolled as if he were dreaming and Yuya cradled it in an open hand. He worshiped the pale neck with his mouth, was careful not to mark it even though he wanted to, kissed damply all over the throat and nudged the shirt down to get to part of each shoulder.

Kyousuke was breathing unsteadily, now and then making a soft noise of pleasure, and Yuya wondered if the boy was as hard as he was. It was too early to do what he really wanted, to take the boy in his mouth and suck him off, so he checked the most unobtrusive way he could think of, gently nudging his thigh between Kyousuke's legs.

It was at least partly erect, but before Yuya could congratulate himself, Kyousuke made a frightened sound. Yuya quickly separated their lower bodies and cupped the warm face, sought to soothe the anxiety he found there.

"Ssh, its okay, I won't touch there before you're ready. I'm sorry, I just wanted to see if you were...enjoying this."

"It was nice...but..."

"I won't push any more on you tonight." Yuya slowly stroked his cheek. "You can have the bathroom, I'll take care of myself in here."

"What do you - oh. Right."

"Baby, you do masturbate, don't you?"

"Yeah," Kyousuke said with clear embarrassment. "Just not much."

"I'll wake up your hormones, Sleeping Beauty. Give me a chance." Yuya kissed him before gesturing to the adjoining bathroom.

 _He's so nice, and handsome. Why does he like me? He could have anyone,_ Kyousuke thought as he sat on the toilet, turned on the rushing-water sound for privacy, and grabbed some tissues. He had been honest, he didn't often get turned on and thus rarely touched himself, but he knew how to do it.

A few strokes brought him to full hardness, and he began to jerk himself off. In his mind he saw Yuya's attractive face, looked into the kind eyes, tentatively wondered how it would feel to have Yuya on top of him, their bodies pressed together. Fighting the fear of intimate touches, Kyousuke imagined the hand on him was Yuya's, and kept his lips pressed silently together as he came.

 _daimaodaimao_

It seemed like a new chapter of life had begun for Kyousuke. Not only was he feeling quite adult working as an actor, but he seemed to have his first boyfriend, though he didn't use or hear that word. During the day, he was encouraged and watched over during rehearsals, both annoyed and touched by his castmates' hovering. (He found he didn't mind Daisuke, who treated him like an adored little brother, a role the boy was used to.)

Nights were exhilarating and perplexing. He and Yuya ate dinner with the others, headed back to their room to take showers, and in the chill of the air conditioning they would gently explore each other. Despite Yuya clearly wanting more, they began with keeping their clothes on, laying together and kissing slowly and sweetly. Yuya seemed to love touching Kyousuke all over (or almost all over), but he kept his hands over the clothes.

This night, they were tired from a busy day and gratefully lay together on one of the beds. Yuya stroked the younger's waist and side with one hand, caressed his face with the other, fingers following the fine cheekbones, thumb tracing the baby-pink mouth.

Kyousuke was curious about the broader body facing him, but shy. He tentatively lay one hand on Yuya's arm and let the other rest on the bed. Yuya looked at it briefly, thinking there was no part of the boy that wasn't delicate and pretty. He was very aroused and trying to keep himself as soft as possible, while Kyousuke just felt content and warm, a sort of almost-want.

The boy sighed with pleasure, it felt good to have a slightly rough hand rubbing his porcelain skin. Yuya smiled and smoothed his hair back because he loved the satin feel of the black strands. He worked his way back down to the lips, and decided to take a risk. With Kyousuke's eyes shut, Yuya tugged his chin down and slid his thumb into the wet cavern.

Kyousuke opened his eyes and made a questioning noise. "It's okay," Yuya soothed him. "Can I feel you in here?"

 _Why would you want to?_ Kyousuke thought, but nodded. Yuya explored the mouth, feeling the inside of his cheeks, going over the pink gums and perfect teeth, touching the tongue so it licked him, then slipping out to spread the wetness over the lips. They looked so invitingly wet, but he inserted the finger back between them.

"Mmm?" Kyousuke hummed questioningly.

"I know this sounds odd, but could you...suck on it a little?"

It did seem weird, but he couldn't say much with his mouth full. Obligingly, Kyousuke closed his eyes and sucked gently.

 _Maybe I'm perverted, but this is so hot._ Yuya was of course not sexually attracted to babies, but Kyousuke acting like one was a turn-on. He loved the boy's youth and naivete and newness, the air of untouched innocence that wafted off him like light or scent. He stroked the pale cheek with his free fingers and watched him for a while before witdrawing his thumb.

Kyousuke blushed at what he'd just done, especially when Yuya licked the saliva off the wet thumb. "You're strange," the boy laughed shyly.

"In a bad way?"

"No."

"You're so sweet. You even smell and taste sweet. I'm not usually a fan of sweet things, but you're delicious."

The boy pinked a little and smiled. "I'm the opposite, I love candy. But I like the way you..."

"Taste? Smell?"

"Both. What cologne do you use?"

"It's called Breeze. It reminds me of the beach. Do you like the sea?"

"I love it! Aniki and I go swimming and surfing all the time, and my dad has a boat he takes us out on to scuba dive."

"You're close to your family, huh?"

Kyousuke smiled, missing them. "Yeah. What about you?"

"My parents are divorced, so I don't see my dad much. My mom's cool, very laid-back, but she's busy with my little sister Miyuri. She's only six."

Kyousuke grinned. "You're lucky, I wish I had a sister. My mom always hoped for a girl, but she got surrounded by boys."

"Is your brother as cute as you?"

"He's handsome. He doesn't look much like me. He looks like Touchan, I look more like Kaachan."

"She must be very beautiful." Yuya stroked the boy's arm. "Are you lonely?"

"I miss them, but I have you guys. And..."

"And?"

"And you." Kyousuke shifted, a little embarrassed.

"Baby," Yuya said, a word he'd taken to using for the boy, an English endearment Kyousuke understood, "this is completely up to you, but what do you say about making it official?"

"It?"

"Us. I guess what I'm asking is, can I openly be your boyfriend?"

Kyousuke felt hot all over as his mouth opened in surprise. He felt hesitant, but also so touched and loved. _Am I ready for a boyfriend?_

"Do you want to think about it?"

"No. My answer is...yes."

Choked up with happiness, Yuya blinked back tears and pulled the boy into a tight hug. Kyousuke nuzzled against the warm neck, enjoyed the safety and love he felt here. He liked Yuya a lot...why was he feeling reluctant? Inexperience, he decided, and smiled brightly when the elder drew back to kiss him.

"How can something so perfect be mine?" Yuya murmured.

"You're much more handsome than me," Kyousuke demured.

"I'm cute, sure. But you're gorgeous."

Kyousuke shoved him lightly. "You're not going to get in trouble, are you? About this?"

"Well, we were warned not to mess with the babies. But I talked to Masuda-san."

"Eh? About us?"

"Yep. He said if we keep it low-key, and I not do anything more than kiss you, it's okay. I'm guessing we need to keep it from your brother too."

Kyousuke groaned. "Aniki says I can't date till I'm twenty. He definitely can't know."

"Buchou will be a problem too."

"Why?"

 _I can't tell him Dai-chan likes him_ , Yuya thought. _I'm not risking losing him._

"I don't think you realize how protective he feel of you. He barely takes his eyes off you."

 _Buchou._ Thinking of Daisuke made Kyousuke feel confused. He wasn't sure what he was feeling, but it felt...unfaithful.

"Buchou is nice."

"But you like _me_ , right?"

"Yes." Boldly, Kyousuke leaned in and kissed him.

It was meant to just be a peck, but Yuya put arms around him and held him close. The boy forced himself to let his jumbled thoughts of Daisuke go and enjoy the attention from this young man he did genuinely care for. Kyousuke let his head fall back for the exploring mouth to tackle, and Yuya dared raise his hands from waist to chest. He stayed outside the clothes, but very deliberately rubbed his palms against the nipples. The pajama shirt was thin, and Kyousuke gasped as a shock of tingly pleasure went through him.

Yuya drew back to look at the boy's surprised face. "How does that feel?"

"I...don't know."

"Can I unbutton this? You can say no."

"...okay."

Yuya sighed with awe when the slender torso was revealed, the pale pink nipples begging to be touched. Yuya placed his hands at the waist, then slowly worked up until he reached them, going at a snail's pace to ease the boy's fear and enjoy the anticipation. Finally he settled one thumb on each bud, and began to circle them. Kyousuke wasn't sure why, but it felt so good to have them touched like this.

"Mmm, nnn..."

"I know, babe, you've got nerve endings here."

He wanted so much to take one of the flat breasts into his mouth, but it seemed too soon and he didn't want to scare his young boyfriend. He massaged the little nubs, enjoyed their pale softness.

He stopped just to lick his thumbpads and began again, urged on by contented hums. He blew on them gently, and they perked up and hardened. Kyousuke looked down with surprise, then to Yuya, seeking reassurance.

"It's all right. It just means you like it."

"I do...but I don't know what to do."

"Anything you want."

"Could...I..."

"What, babe?"

"Can I see..."

He trailed, but Yuya understood, and unbuttoned his own shirt. Kyousuke gently, tentatively swept his fingers over the rigid abdominal muscles. Yuya was masculine and ripped compared to his own slight and delicate form, but Yuya seemed to like him this way. Wanting to please him, Kyousuke went up a bit, gently tweaked a nipple. Yuya smiled, stroked the exploring hand to encourage it, and sighed with contentment.

He wanted to draw Kyousuke's head down and encourage him to suck it - _Gods, maybe I do have a baby fetish_ \- but again, he didn't want to frighten the kid.

He started stimulating Kyousuke's buds again, and they did it to each other for a little while before Yuya could no longer ignore the thrub between his legs.

"Baby, you can stop me, but I just want to see..."

Yuya touched the younger's groin with the back of his hand. Kyousuke shrunk back a little but made no sound, and it was over quickly. He was hard, though not as much as Yuya.

"I know you're not ready to let me touch it. That's fine. It's okay if you don't want to, but what do you think about taking care of ourselves here, like this?"

"Like, watching each other?"

"It's okay if you'd rather not."

"Won't we...mess up your bed?"

Yuya grinned. "You could invite me to sleep with you. Just sleep," he added quickly. "Honey, I know you're nowhere near ready for sex, and I wouldn't try even if you were at your age. And I know you're not ready for me to touch you there. And if you say no, that's fine, but I've been daydreaming about what you look like coming."

Kyousuke blushed. He did want to come, but he'd done so only a few times, and never while anyone was watching. But this was something boyfriends did, right? He wanted to be a good boyfriend. He wanted to make Yuya happy.

"I'll...I'll try." Yuya's answering smile made him feel he'd made the right choice.

The boys tugged their pants down until they were revealed. Kyousuke was nearly hairless and small, while Yuya had a small patch of curly black hair. The elder began first and Kyousuke slowly followed, more hesitantly.

Yuya may have been going faster, but Kyousuke was less experienced, and pretty quickly the boy jerked and spilled into his hand. As usual, there was little of it. Yuya stopped his own jerking off briefly, only continuing after he'd licked the younger's hand clean. Then, even stranger, he popped his own free thumb into Kyousuke's mouth.

Though surprised, Kyousuke sucked on it, and that seemed to do it for Yuya, who came quickly, aiming himself so he wouldn't spill on the younger boy. And he didn't seem in any particular hurry to clean up or move. Amidst the stickiness and tangled sheets, Yuya took Kyousuke in his arms and held him close, protectively, giving the impression he would not give up his lover for anyone or anything.

After an indulgent little while, Kyousuke laughed and shifted. "Doesn't it bother you? The mess?"

"Nope. I like it, it's a reminder of this momentous occasion. I kind of wish I could take pictures."

"You're weird, why would you want them?"

"Because you're mostly naked."

This reminded Kyousuke, and feeling shy, he tried to get up. Yuya held on.

"Give me just one more minute."

Kyousuke did, though he pulled a sheet up to his waist. Yuya missed the sight, but he had the angelic face to gaze into, and a young boy willingly surrendering his first kisses. Relaxed, Kyousuke let the mouth wander down to his neck, and it kept going. Lips moved in the sticky white covering his stomach, then a tongue lapped it up.

The boy moaned softly. Yuya pushed down a powerful desire to take the softened length into his mouth and suck until he spurted again, and to slide his fingers into the boy and work him open and ready for him...

Yuya breathed heavily, running his hands all up and down the half-covered body. He made an attempt to grab the sheet, and Kyousuke made a frightened sound, which overrode his urgency.

"I'm sorry, baby, got carried away. Let's get cleaned up and get some sleep."

The teenager smiled with relief. "Okay."

Wiped off thoroughly, the young couple settled on the clean bed, and Yuya chuckled.

"I set the alarm a little early. If the maid catches those sheets before I remove them, and it gets back to Masuda-san..."

"He'd probably assume it's just all yours."

"That much of it, right after finding out we're together? I'd better not risk it."

Kyousuke shifted in the arms around him. "I'm so worried I'll get you in trouble."

"To be honest, I think he was a little relieved. I'm not that much older than you, and I can keep you safe from groupies."

"Shogo said he's been approached by forty-year-old women."

"I'm definitely not letting anyone near you."

Kyousuke laughed. "What if someone wants a picture with Kikumaru?"

"Maybe, with me supervising closely."

"So I've got you _and_ Buchou hovering over me," the younger laughed.

 _Dai-chan can't have you, you're mine. I won't let him._ Yuya shrugged off the unpleasant concern. "I'm younger and have better eyes, so you're better off sticking with me."

"He's nice," Kyousuke said tiredly, snuggling closer to Yuya.

 _He wants you. He's not getting you._ But Yuya was calmed by the bundle of silky limbs in his embrace. Kyousuke seemed content to snuggle with him, seemed happy with him so far. _Can I make you as happy as you deserve?_

Kyousuke nodded as he slipped into sleep, as though he were answering the unsaid question.

 _daimaodaimao_

The following day was choreography-heavy, back-to-back dance rehearsals. Most of the Seigaku team had little or no experience dancing professionally, but the instructors were patient and encouraging. Shogo's seemingly endless supply of energy helped keep everyone motivated, and Kyousuke marveled at the sight of someone enjoying being the center of attention. He himself tried to blend into crowds, and always felt tremendously anxious each time he had to be in the spotlight by himself.

He was being watched even more carefully than he realized. Ogasawara and Makita's eyes traveling over his body went unnoticed by the boy, but he felt Daisuke and Yuya looking at him with concern, and they smiled at him when he looked at them. Even Tomo tried to help, in his own way, by casually tossing out, "Your dancing is fine, MaoMao. Stop cringing or the fans will think you don't like them."

The others echoed him, and the timid boy thanked them, and tried his best to stop shrinking back into himself. He found himself watching Daisuke a lot, amazed by his seriousness, by his ability to disappear into his character despite Tezuka being so unlike him. His attention was noticed by Yuya, who frowned and tried to stay as close as possible to his partner. He didn't distrust the boy, but realized that Daisuke would be hard to resist. And Kyousuke...he was just impossible not to crush on.

Alas, he couldn't stay close to his boyfriend at all times, the choreography didn't allow for it. He was so focused on him, though, he didn't notice Ogasawara and Makita's eyes hungrily traveling over the boy. Yuya did constantly glance at Daisuke, with rising anger over the fondness with which he watched Kyousuke. And when the boy fell during a spin, Daisuke was the first to him.

"Are you okay? Does anything hurt?"

They were all around him, Makita even pushing his pants up to check his ankles. Yuya couldn't get to his boyfriend through the crowd.

"MaoMao, what happened?"

"Did you hurt yourself, baby?"

"Why isn't he talking?"

Ryokyou-sensei pulled Taka away to check on his second-youngest star. "Is he hurt?"

"I don't know, he won't talk."

He couln't talk because he couldn't breathe. The hands trying to pet him kindly reminded him of every bad touch, every man who had ever cornered him and stroked him for a second or two, the one who had tried to drag him onto a train, the colleague of his father's who'd caressed his leg under the table at dinner...

Kyousuke was gasping as tears rolled down his cheeks. He tried to tell them all to move away, but he could only get out sobs. Yuya finally physically shoved Ogasawara back and took hold of Kyousuke's shoulders, expecting him to calm at once. Instead he began to struggle.

"Baby, what is - "

"Nnn! Nnn!"

Ryokyou said, "I'm calling the doctor."

A light bulb went on over Daisuke's head. "Everyone move away from him." He reluctantly dropped the boy's hand. "Back up, all of you."

"He's hurt," Yuya snapped.

"No, he's not, he's having a panic attack. He needs space. _Back up_."

Daisuke's voice was indomitable, a captain's, one who must be obeyed. Everyone, even Yuya, quickly stepped back. Kyousuke let out a shuddering breath, collapsed on his side onto the dance floor and gratefuly took in the air his lungs had been denied. Yuya tried to go back to him, and was held back by Tomo.

"Let Buchou handle it."

"Mao isn't his, he's _mine_."

" _What_?"

From a short distance, Daisuke crouched down. "Mao-kun, you feel any better?"

"Y-Yes, th-thank you. I-I'm okay."

"Don't try to stand up yet, kid. Can we get a water here?" the captain called to a stagehand.

A young man, wary of approaching the pretty boy who seemed ill, gave the bottle to Daisuke, who carefuly placed it near Kyousuke. The boy unsteadily opened it and took a long drink. The cold liquid washed through him and he seemed to gain some of his calm and energy back. He tried to get to his feet, staggered, and Yuya and Daisuke collided on their way to him. Frowning, Daisuke stepped back, but cautioned, "Don't crowd him too much. He panicked because too many people were close to him."

"You don't know that."

Kyousuke gave Daisuke a watery smile as he was hoisted up. "H-How did you know?"

The man simply smiled affectionately. Yuya frowned at him, then gently dried Kyousuke's cheeks with his thumbs. He framed the damp face with his hands.

"Baby, you all right?"

"Mmm. Sorry I worried you, all of you. I just couldn't breathe. I'm okay, really."

"Um..." Tomo said loudly, longly, and pointedly.

"You might as well know," the director said, as casually as he could, "that Yuya-kun and Mao-kun are seeing each other. This has been approved by myself and Masuda, but you're all obviously not to discuss this with anyone, including press, management, and fans. I have Yuya-kun's assurance that things will not proceed past a...certain level of intimacy."

"So much for no touching the babies," Tomo said dryly.

"MaoMao gets to date and I don't?" Shogo asked indignantly.

"Dating and flirting with everything that moves are two different things, baby," Taka said, though he put his arm around the kid. Shogo seemed to like the attention enough to forget the insult, and even snuggled into him. Makita and Ogasawara scowled at each other.

Daisuke looked angrily at Yuya. "What the hell do you think you're doing? He's just a kid!"

"It's none of your business, _Buchou_ ," Yuya said, sneering the title.

"It damn well is! I promised Mao-kun's family I would look after him, now I have to keep it from them that he's being - " Daisuke saw Kyousuke shrink back from his angry voice, and immediately halted.

"Are you done upsetting my boyfriend?" Yuya asked icily.

Daisuke did not look done. But to everyone's surprise, the captain quietly said, "Please don't be upset, Mao-kun. I'm not upset with you at all. If you'll excuse me a moment, I'm going to get Mao-kun some tea."

"Nothing that will sedate him," Ryokyou cautioned.

In the hallway, Daisuke didn't notice till he reached the vending machine that Tomo had followed him. As ever, he was smirking, but it was oddly kind this time. Daisuke selected a bottle of milk tea, sweet enough for Mao's tastes, then turned.

"Well?"

"Just wanted to say...nicely done."

"I just can recognize panic attacks, that's all."

"You miss my meaning. Do you know the story of King Solomon?"

"What?"

"Two women claimed the same baby. King Solomon ordered the child cut in half, but the real mother was willing to give the baby up rather than see it killed."

"Tomo - "

"You stepped back, you let go of what you wanted in order to protect it. I'm impressed."

"What happened?"

"Hmm?"

"To the baby."

"Oh. The right person got it. They usually do, Dai-chan."

"Thank you, Tomo." Daisuke said it smply, and sincerely, though without much hope.

 **To be continued.**

 **Yes, I have a weirdo thumb-sucking fetish. Er, sorry.**


	4. Chapter 4

_Sorry for the lateness! Drowsiness keeps interfering. Stupid medications._

 _Warning - a bit of a subplot not involving DaiMao starts in this chapter, but I promise it's minor. DaiMao is always my focus. And in case you didn't know just from knowing me, DaiMao will end up being a couple in this story. They just have a while before they get there. And no, I have not the faintest idea how long this story will be._

 _Warning, touching involving underage people here, also I'm using real people. No intense offended, this is all made up by me and should not be taken to represent anyone's real opinions or personalities. Many apologies to fans of Makita and Ogasawara. I just needed villains. Gomen._

 **HATSUKOI**  
 **Chapter 4**

As the day went on, Kyousuke couldn't help but feel that some sort of battle was being waged over him. Yuya claimed to be worried for his health and barely left his side, while Daisuke busied himself in little, unobtrusive ways of helping the boy. When Yuya sat Kyousuke down for lunch and was about to get food for him, Daisuke appeared with exactly the sort of bland, filling things the boy would have picked out, plus a candy bar for his sweet tooth and a bottle of electrolyte-rich sports drink. Yuya and Kyousuke thanked him, though in different tones.

When Yuya quickly went to get his own food, Daisuke lingered a moment. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, Buchou. Um, thank you for before, for understanding."

"You're a mystery I'm enjoying figuring out. Mao-kun, first relationships are difficult. Talk to me if you need to. And remember, you never do anything you're not ready for. Please."

"Thank you, Buchou, but really, Yuya is very patient."

"I hope he remembers you're underage."

"I do," Yuya said coolly as he sat down. "You think I can't control myself?"

Daisuke wasn't willing to upset Kyousuke with a fight, and walked away, saying, "Make sure you eat everything, Mao-kun." Kyousuke felt sad to see him go. Ogasawara and Makita approached the table with trays and smiles.

"Hi, Yuya, MaoMao. Can we join you?"

"Sure." Kyouske was thrilled to see the loners being friendly. "You guys were really good this morning."

"Thanks, baby," Makita said, ignoring Yuya's annoyance of the nickname. "You guys are doing well too. The Golden Pair will be crazy popular, you guys suit each other."

Ogasawara fake-smiled. "And congratulations."

"It doesn't bother you?" Kyousuke asked.

"We're gay too, have boyfriends at home. We think it's cute that Oishi/Kikumaru is a real thing now. Too bad fans can't know, they'd love it." Makita winked at Kyousuke, who smiled shyly. "So, dish."

"Dish?"

"Tell us how you got together. How did you manage to win the hand of our fairest, Yuya-kun?"

"It just sort of happened," Yuya said shortly. "We were attracted to each other, and then I asked him to give me a chance and he did."

"Have Sensei and Masuda really told you you can't be intimate? That blows. For you, I mean." But Ogasawara seemed quite interested. "Seems unfair, hormones being what they are."

"Yeah. You can always tell _us_ the truth, of course."

Yuya smiled with a hint of pride. "Let's just say we're both satisfied."

"Are you really?" Kyousuke asked; he had been concerned about that.

"Of course, baby. We'll do more when you're ready."

"Are _you_ ready?"

"Yes, but don't feel pressured, okay, honey?"

"Feel like giving details?" Makita half-joked eagerly.

Kyousuke shifted uneasily. "Why would you want to know?"

"Oh, you know. Missing our boyfriends, need new fantasy material, and face it, you guys are a hot couple."

"Sorry," Yuya laughed, "my baby's a bit private."

"Sorry," Kyousuke said.

Ogasawara saw his guilt and took advantage. "Just tell me this. You're not just kissing, are you?"

Kyousuke let out a nervous laugh. Yuya chuckled and said, "No, just between us, we do more than kiss."

Ogasawara smiled and took a long sip of his juice while looking at Kyousuke. He was imagining himself taking Yuya's role, undressing the boy, licking his baby-perfect skin, finger-fucking him until he sobbed and begged for release. He wanted to see arousal color that innocent, childlike face. The boy seemed to see his want and looked away, so Ogasawara smiled in a friendly manner until the kid gave him a relieved smile back.

"Sorry to be intrusive," Makita was kindly saying. "It's just that you're our power couple now. You've displaced Tomo and that cute older guy he's been trying to hide."

Ogasawara smiled, he wouldn't miss a chance to get at pretty Tomo either. He'd early on tried to offer him a friends-with-benefits agreement, but the sarcastic boy had brushed him off, said he was with someone. Ogasawara had to content himself with watching him be touched in _Takumi-kun_ , and repeatedly playing the scene where Tomo's character was nearly raped. In his imagination he completed it, watched the boy get pounded and violated until he lay exhausted and bleeding.

It was a pleasant release for his violent impulses. Were he to get his hands on Kyousuke, by contrast, he would be forceful and insistent, but he had no wish to cause him much pain. He preferred the idea of teaching the inexperienced boy about pleasure...whether he wanted to learn or not.

"You guys nervous about the first performance coming up?" Yuya asked.

"Not really. It's not many fans, after all, mostly industry people."

"That makes me _more_ nervous," Kyousuke groaned. "They're all adults who know what music is supposed to sound like, not girls who get easily excited. I just know I'll mess up."

"You're gonna do great, baby," Yuya said at once, stroking his hand. "You've been doing so well in rehearsals."

"Except today," the teenager said glumly.

"Those spins are tough. We've all messed up on them at least once, baby. And your singing is great."

"Okay, now I know you're lying. I can barely sing."

"Well, I think your voice is beautiful."

"You're biased."

"I'm not," Ogasawara offered. "Your voice is as lovely as you, MaoMao. No need to worry."

"Thank you," the boy said shyly. Yuya mouthed a thank-you as he looped an arm around his lover's waist. "I wish I could could be as good as Buchou. Or you," he added quickly.

 _Smart kid_ , Makita thought. _I wonder if he's got a bit of a crush on the captain. That would complicate things a bit, but explain why Yuya keeps snapping at Dai-chan._

Kyousuke looked at Makita."I heard you volunteered to welcome the audience members who will come backstage. You're not nervous?"

"Nah, I'm good at schmoozing suits, and I like getting compliments. You don't seem to."

"It's just embarrassing."

"But wait'll you have to deal with fans fawning over you every time you meet them. Well, at least Sensei doesn't have to worry about you sneaking girls into your room or anything."

"No fear of that," Kyousuke laughed.

"And no girls are touching my MaoMao," Yuya added.

 _It's not them you need to worry about_ , Ogasawara thought, covering his smile with a sip of tea.

 _daimaodaimao_

The first performance came before Kyousuke felt ready, and he was thankful it was more of a test-runthrough for industry people and critics. He entered the stage with trepidation, and quickly went into a slightly anxious auto-pilot. Weeks of endless rehearsal paid off, and he made only a few minor mistakes. When the last song was over and they had all taken bows, the boy nearly collapsed into Yuya's arms, as much from relief as from tiredness, and the elder kissed him and whispered, "You were awesome, baby."

Meanwhile, Shogo seemed to have lost none of his energy and was bouncing happily around the wings. Taka pretended to scribble in his notebook a reminder to buy chloroform. Tomo was as pleased as the rest of them, but pretended to boredly study his nails and soon excused himself to call someone - Keisuke, everyone correctly assumed. Daisuke surveyed his team with pride, went around to each of them to express it. The director soon joined them, called everyone together.

"Fourth-generation Seigaku! I see my trust in each one of you was not misplaced. You all did a fantastic job, and any minor problems we have will be easly corrected in the weeks to come. I know you'll all continue to work hard and give us your best. All right, I know you're tired. Those who have volunteered to greet the investors, please stay. The rest of you, get back to the hotel and get some sleep in. Late call tomorrow, so enjoy your rest. Make sure to eat, too."

Everyone but Makita and Yuuta filed out, meeting a long line of opposing team members (they high-fived) and a group of men in suits. Kyousuke's stomach tightened as a middle-aged man passed him and gave him a look he recognized, and he edged closer to Yuya. The older boy didn't realize why, but was happy to hold him.

Quiet Yuuta was nonetheless charming and spoke easily to the men who asked questions. Makita did the same, fielding queries about his past stage-work, how much he needed to practice, how long rehearsals were, how did he think the latest incarnation of Tenimyu would do with fans. It quickly got boring, but he wasn't relieved when the richest-looking investor waved him over for a private conversation. The actors had been warned they'd be propositioned.

"Hello, Makita-kun. My name is Haneda."

"Of Haneda Corps?" the young man blurted out.

Haneda only smiled at his rudeness. "Indeed. Congratulations on a fine performance."

"Thank you, sir."

"You're probably wondering what I really want. I'll cut to the chase. How would you like to make a great deal of money?"

"Um, if you're..." Makita wasn't sure how to say no, or if he even wanted to.

"Easy, I'm not asking what you're thinking. I just want you to...procure something for me."

"Procure something?"

"Some _one_."

"...I'm listening."

 _daimaodaimao_

The hotel was a welcome sight for the Tenimyu actors. Except maybe for Shogo, who had to be pulled from the car by a patient Taka, insisting that he wasn't tired and they should all be out "partying like porn stars."

"You shouldn't know what porn is," Takasaid mildly as he dragged the boy through the ornate double doors.

"I have a libido, you know."

"Well, you shouldn't. Anyway, it's past your bedtime."

"Taka! Well, if you won't let me go out, will you at least let me come and hang out with you?"

"You're really not exhausted?" The serious young man shook his head. "Sorry, Aramaki has his best friend visiting," he said, referring to his Higa roommate, "so it's a bit crowded in there."

"Come to my room, then! Yuuta won't mind. Anyway," the boy smirked, "he's not back yet and you don't want to leave me all alone, right?"

"Fine. But you better not be flirting with me."

"Why not?"

Taka adjusted his character's glasses, which he often wore off-stage. "Uh, because I'm a decade older than you."

"So...I can't like you?"

They were alone in the lobby, the others had all gone up. Taka sighed. "There's nothing wrong with feelings. Well, maybe there is with being attracted to everything that moves."

"I'm not! I'm just - "

Taka purposely interrupted him there. "If you do like me, I'm flattered. But I'm also moral, and you're jailbait."

"I'm not asking you to fuck me. Well, not yet."

"Keep it up and I won't come hang out."

"Gomen, senpai." The boy's contrition was somewhat genuine.

"Let me just tell Aramaki," Taka said as they reached his door and opened it. "Hey, Yoshihiko, you guys'll have the room for a while. I'll be hanging with Shogo."

"Oh, please don't feel like you can't be in here," the Higa actor said politely. "You could even both join us, right, Nobu?"

His older friend was looknig with interest at Shogo. "Absolutely. Hello, I'm Higarashi Nobuta, please call me Nobu. What's your name, cutie?"

"I'm Takahashi Yuuta," Taka interrupted with a frown. "This is Sakamoto Shogo, but we call him jailbait."

Shogo pouted. "Do not. They call me baby. Nice to meet you."

"So, how old _are_ you?"

Before Shogo could answer, Taka pulled him out of the room, and dragged him down the corridor and into the younger's room. Shogo managed to give him a glare both pouting and seductive.

"What's wrong, Taka?"

"You know what's wrong. Don't talk to anyone who looks at you like that, just get away."

"I can handle myself."

"Ha," Taka scoffed. "You're, what, 60 pounds? How closely do I have to watch you, kid?"

"Very, I guess."

"Shogo - "

"I'm sorry, Taka-senpai. I'll try not to worry you."

It was hard to resist the cute voice and sweet face. Taka sat on the bed beside Shogo and drew him close. The boy seemed happy and snuggled up to him, and Taka stroked his arm for a few moments before shifting his hand to stroke the damply soft hair. They were both sweaty, but Shogo still somehow smelled clean.

"I don't mean to cause anyone trouble, Taka. It's just that I can't seem to help flirting. Sometimes I feel like a volcano ready to erupt. It's confusing."

"It's just puberty, baby. We all go through it."

"MaoMao doesn't seem to be, even though he's dating Yuya."

"MaoMao might be a little scared of intimacy. It's good that you're not, but you have to be more discerning. There are bad people out there who could hurt you."

"If anyone tries, I'll kick them in the nuts. No problem."

"It's not always that easy. It's better to avoid those situations altogether. Okay?"

"But...I want..."

It wasn't like Shogo to be shy. Taka kised the top of his head.

"Baby, if you really need more than your own hand, your experimenting should be with someone your own age."

"I'm an actor, I'm never with people my age."

"Well, at least someone younger than me."

"But all the fans are girls, I don't like girls, and no one on the Higa team will go near me, Yu said because Buchou threatened them. I don't have anyone to go to."

 _Poor kid._ Taka held the boy in a tight one-armed hug, hoping to get the morose tone out of his voice. "I'm sure there are a few male fans your age, but we're not really supposed to mess with them. You have friends at home, right?"

"They're all straight, or older and protective, or girls. And I'm not in school much because I'm always working."

"Maybe you should take a break to concentrate on your romantic life."

"Taka? I really do like you. It's not just hormones or whatever you think."

Taka gently stroked his head. "Thanks, kid."

"I was really hoping it would be you..."

"What?"

"My first kiss."

"What?" Taka pulled back to look at him. "As flirty as you are, you haven't been kissed?"

"Uh-uh. I know I flirt, but no one will do anything back, at least no one I _want_ to do anything with. You're the only one I think about now."

The hopeless tone broke Taka's heart. He cupped the boy's face with his hands, intending to check for tears but found none. Instead he noted how pleasantly smooth the skin was, the very slight thickness of the baby fat that remained. The face seemed to fit in his grasp like it belonged there. A faint smudge of color remained on the boy's lips, making them hard not to notice.

They were perfect, pouty, hiding right now Shogo's usual beaming smile. Taka wanted to bring it back, so much so that a feeling of almost drunkenness washed over him. He leaned in and gently caught the painted mouth with his own. The smaller lips drew back just slightly in surprise, but Taka followed them, smiled at their inexperienced fumbling, and guided them as he steadied Shogo's trembling shoulders with his hands.

The initial shyness gave way to eagerness, and Shogo was the one who introduced his tongue first. Taka licked it, took it in, wrapped it with his own as though to protect. Thoughts of propriety were long out the window for now, this felt too good, too warm to doubt. He even pulled Shogo into a hug so close, the boy was nearly on his lap. All he wanted, save for his own pleasure, was to make this other body feel good.

He rubbed Shogo's back, finding the muscles as loose as his own, carded fingers through the soft hair, stroked the baby skin of his cheek. Shogo had clearly told the truth about his inexperience, but it was the nicest kiss Taka had ever had. He delayed the guilt by prolonging the intimate touch, but if only to take a breath, they eventually had to separate.

"Well, shit," Taka said flatly.

But Shogo's longed-for smile was aiming light his way. "That was badass."

Even shaking his head at his own stupidity. Taka laughed. "I've never had any kisses described with that word."

"Wait, how many people have you kissed?"

"You're jealous?"

Shogo pouted. "Only kiss _me_ from now on. Because you liked it, didn't you?"

Taka had always been honest to a fault. "I did. But I shouldn't have encouraged you. Looks like we have a problem."

"I won't tell anyone or anything. I know you'd get in trouble. We'll keep it secret."

"Keep _what_ secret, baby?"

"Us, of course." Shogo added a mental 'duh' with his expression.

"Baby, I told you - "

"I don't care how much older you are. And you shouldn't care that I'm young, because I may be a brat, but I'm mature. I've lived more than most 14-year-olds. I'm almost 15 anyway."

Without thinking, Taka lifted a hand to the boy's right cheek, wanting the childish shape, that smoothness. Shogo took this as an invitation to cuddle, and confidently pushed himself into the elder's arms. Taka indulgently hugged and petted him, thinking more of the boy's happiness than how wrong it was legally to touch him. He'd expected to hate himself and make excuses...but it seemed so innocent. A boy's first kiss, holding him proectively afterwards. He remembered reading somewhere that most gay boys had their first times with older men. In truth...he wanted an excuse to stay like tihs.

Shogo's heart had been racing through the kiss; now it was a calm and steady thump-thump. His first kiss had been all he'd ever dreamed, and the angst he had figured would follow was nowhere in sight. Would Taka accept him, in any way? _I'll take anything, as long as it's something._

"Baby."

"Senpai?"

"I don't know what to call this."

"Me either."

"I need to think."

"But...until then?"

"No more than kissing."

Shogo grinned with relief. _I'll take it._

 **To be continued.**


	5. Chapter 5

_Sorry for late update again! I've been so drowsy/busy, I can barely type, let alone write._

 _Again, I promise this will be DaiMao. We're straying a bit with Yuya/Mao and even a bit of Taka/Shogo, but the plot will take us where we want to go. *coughangstcough*_

 _Real people, don't own, I regret nothing._

 **HATSUKOI**  
 **Chapter 5**

The night of the first show was fast approaching, and the 4th generation Seigaku members were each dealing with the stress in their own way. Yuuta seemed to melt into his heartthrob role, quiet as ever, but no one could tell anymore if he was purposely in character. Ogasawara and Makita, though still inseparable, were frequently observed arguing in whispers. Shogo became cockier than ever and instructed the stage crew to address him as "Your Highness." Only soft smacks from Taka seemed to jar the kid back to his default cocky but endearing sweetness.

Tomo was all seriousness, gruff like his character, and always on his phone. He even delayed a rehearsal with a flat and humorless excuse that he was sexting and he could hardly leave his "significant other" in a policeman uniform and about to come. Masuda was visibly flustered and busy, but dedicated to his stars and making sure they had everything they needed. Yuka-sensei sympathetically lightened her charges' workload and spoke to Shogo as little as possible. Ryokyou, the director, drilled them mercilessly but also offered praise.

As for Kyousuke, he was starting to wonder if his relationship's honeymoon phase was already ending. Yuya seemed to adore him as much as ever when they were being intimate, but seemed somewhat sullen the rest of the time. When Kyousuke finally summoned up the courage to question this, the older boy said, as though he had been holding it back, "Do you like me or Buchou?"

Kyousuke blinked in shock, choked down a rush of uncertainty, and said, "You, of course. Yuya, what's wrong?"

"You two are always looking at each other." Yuya was called off by a choreographer, so he kissed Kyousuke quickly and headed off, leaving his young partner to think.

Was it true? Well...yes. Daisuke busied himself looking after all his subordinates, forcing Shogo to eat vegetables and trying to make Yuuta talk more. But nothing compared to the care and affection he showed Kyousuke, rewarding him with candy when he finished meals, always knowing when he needed a bottle of water or to sit down, catching him twice when he fell during a spin and in no hurry to stop touching him, steadying Kyousuke and petting his hair or brushing him off before going back to his own spot.

It was innocent, the attentions of a devoted big brother, but intense in the amount of affection with which he was being watched. Being given such loving and concerned gazes, what could Kyousuke do but smile back? Anyway, he liked looking at the sophisticated man, wishing he himself was so quietly sure of his talent, so handsome, such a cool combination of mature actor and entertaining goofball. Daisuke seemed to be taking serious his promise to the boy's family, but also, Kyousuke felt quite sure the elder was fond of him beyond that.

Maybe Yuya was right to be suspicious, Kyousuke thought. After all, he did sometimes spend, albeit a short, time with Daisuke for help getting into character, with singing, and when Daisuke just wanted to check on him, inquiring about his health and carefully, tactfully probing a bit into the relationship with Yuya. He seemed to be wanting to make sure the boy wasn't being pressured or taken advantage of. After each "session," Daisuke laughed it off by handing the boy a lollipop and letting him go back to the others.

Seeing Yuya occupied, Daisuke took the opportunity being given, going to Kyousuke and patting his arm. "Doing okay, Mao-kun?"

"Yes, Buchou, thank you. How are you?"

"Very well." _As long as I can see that smile._ "I got a text from your brother, you didn't email him yesterday."

The boy shifted awkwardly. It had been on purpose, because he had little to say that wouldn't give away his dilemma. Shinnosuke surely wouldn't be happy to learn his baby brother was dating, or crushing on his even-older captain.

"I'm sorry. I'll do it as soon as we get back to the hotel."

"Are things going okay with Yuya?"

 _No._ "Yes, I think so. I don't have anything to compare it to."

"Are you happy?"

"Yes." _I think._

"Well, that's what's important. He's still not pushing you, right?"

"No, he's very patient."

"He has to be, or he'd be breaking the law and more dangerously, he'd be crossing me."

Kyousuke felt warm. Daisuke's kindness made him feel conflicted, added to his guilty fantasies of being held and being kissed by the suave man.

"You're flushing. Do you feel all right?" Daisuke felt his forehead. "You're a little bit - "

He halted mid-sentence. The boy had shut his eyes and was smiling into the touch, even leaning into it. Daisuke had to force down a desperate urge to wrap his arms around the lithe body and explore the neck with his lips. He wondered if he could make Kyousuke swoon, if the boy would let him hold him up.

The warm skin he touched felt as smooth as it looked, flawless and luminescent. He dropped his hand to cup a pink cheek. He had only a moment to wonder at how right this felt.

"What's going on?" Yuya was at Kyousuke's side at once.

"Eh? Oh, Buchou thought I had a fever, that's all."

Yuya shot Daisuke a suspicious look before turning Kyousuke to face him and kissing his forehead. "Not too warm."

Daisuke coughed. "As you probably know, that's not an accurate measure of temperature. Maybe I should grab a thermometer from one of the first aid kits."

"Thank you." As soon as the Seigaku captain was gone, Yuya sighed, trying not to show all the anger he was feeling. "Why did you let him touch you?"

"Eh? Buchou was just worried."

"He touched you longer than he needed to to check for fever."

Kyousuke blinked in confusion. "Yuya, what are you trying to say?"

" _I'm_ your boyfriend, only I should be touching you."

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault you're so innocent. I just wish you could see that he..."

"What?"

Much as he disliked Daisuke, the elder's return just at that moment was a relief. Daisuke cleaned the thermometer with an alcohol wipe, then placed it under Kyousuke's tongue. The boy felt very awkward between the two men he had feelings for as he waited for a beep, Daisuke holding a smile and Yuya just looking tense.

"See, guys? Only 99.2."

"That's still a fever," Yuya stated.

"Actually..."

"His temperature runs at a high normal," Daisuke said. "Ninety-nine-two is just about his baseline, so we don't need to worry."

Yuya stared. "How do you know that?"

"I'm in the confidences of a very overly-cautious aniki," Daisuke said lightly, with a smile.

Yuya frowned. "We should practice our moves, MaoMao."

"Right. Thank you for your concern, Buchou."

Kyousuke tried to bow, but Yuya started to pull him away. Without thinking, Daisuke blocked Yuya's way.

"You don't need to grab him like that. You could hurt him."

Kyousuke stared at the floor as Yuya's arm wrapped possessively around his shoulders.

"I would never hurt MaoMao. _Or_ confuse him, like other people might."

Unwillingly to get into an altercation that might upset Kyousuke, Daisuke gave the younger boy a tight smile and excused himself. Kyousuke wiggled free, a bit annoyed.

"What's going on? What problem do you have with Buchou?"

"Don't worry about it. Just remember who you're dating." Yuya winced at how hurt the boy looked. "Baby, I'm sorry. I jsut don't want to lose you."

"Why would you?"

"...I guess I just feel insecure. Like I'm not good enough for you."

Kyousuke slowly put his arms around Yuya. The elder breathed out with relief, held him tightly, stroked a soothing hand up and down his back.

"I really like you," Kyousuke whispered.

"I love you so much."

Kyousuke prolonged the embrace to hide a stray tear. Maybe he was the one who didn't deserve Yuya.

 _daimaodaimao_

Tomo was quick to tell Daisuke he was involved in a love triangle, and though the man had not said so aloud, he knew Tomo was right.

"Don't tell anyone, okay?"

"I wouldn't do anything to get you in trouble," Tomo said in a rare moment of sincerity. "In fact, I want to help you get him."

"Tomo, I can't _get_ Mao-kun. He's a kid who sees me as an older brother."

"You haven't noticed? He's crushing on you."

They were walking to the vending machine; Daisuke halted. "Don't tease."

"I'm not."

"He's with Yuya."

"Yes, and trying very hard not to look at you wistfully and with longing. He's not doing well, even Yuya sees it. That's why he's so pissy these days."

"God. What do I do?"

"Depends on how much jail time you want."

"Tomo - "

The younger was pulling coins out of his pockets. "He won't be jailbait forever, and by then, he and Yuya could be over. You need to stay in MaoMao's life. I've got just the thing."

Daisuke pressed a button, caring little what drink he got. "I'm listening."

"You and MaoMao scream romantic chemistry when you're anywhere near each other. You'd be a perfect Gii and he's got the exact right look and manner for Takumi. Everything I had to fake, he's just _got_."

Daisuke took a long swallow of water, unable to keep from imagining it. Permission to touch Kyousuke, the chance to hold him and spend time with him. His heart screamed with want, but his head was cooler.

"He's too shy, and I doubt his family would let him do a BL. I've told you that, haven't I?"

"It's just acting. With a man they trust with MaoMao. Don't lie, you love the idea."

"...I do."

 _I love him._

 _daimaodaimao_

Shogo hurried to the bathroom, knowing he didn't have much time. Taka had gone ahead and they'd both soon be missed. But his phone was beeping with another text message, and he felt obliged to answer who he was sure it was.

He was right, it was Aramaki's friend Nobu, who'd snuck into the former's phone to get Shogo's number and had been messaging him with a lot of flattery and obvious interest. Shogo was set on Taka, but he did love attention.

 **How's rehearsals going, cutie?**

 **Good. How's work?** Nobu was interning at a tech company.

 **They've stuck me with coding again. Boring. I wish we could talk in person. You fascinate me.**

Shogo was elated by the compliment, but Taka was waiting. **Got to go, let's talk later.**

 **Ganbare, cutie.**

Shogo all but threw open the bathroom door. Taka met him halfway across the tile floor and pulled the boy's jacket off so he would feel as much of him as possible. He scooped the smaller body up and gently swung it back and forth, laughing when the kid's mouth tickled his neck.

"You can't have missed me _that_ much. We've been together all day."

"Not like this. Please..."

"What, baby?"

"Kiss me!"

Taka couldn't resist. Morality of this aside, all he could think of was the sweet, pouty mouth. He hid from his guilt in these baby-pink lips, and had lately given himself permission to explore a litle, as long as he stayed above clothes. His hands loved the slender little form, partly because they had only known female bodies before. He was enraptured by the tiny waist that didn't jut outward at the hips, the flat chest with no protrusion of breasts. Shogo had a great butt too, hard from exercise and perky, but just soft enough for satisfying squeezes. Taka loved to caress the flat lines of the boy's sides, and often held them to keep the excitable kid from grinding against him.

Taka was an excellent kisser, Shogo had decided, despite having no basis for comparison. He kept them long and slow, and though Shogo sometimes wanted fast and rough enough to bruise, he too wanted to prolong the touches, and reveled in how cherished he felt in Taka's hold. Taka needed to hold him up a little to make up for the height difference, but Shogo could tell - Taka loved their time together too.

 _I just need to get him to love_ me _, all of me._

A break was needed to breathe. Shogo nuzzled Taka's chest, and the elder was grateful his nipples had never been sensitive. He was already hard enough and hoping the kid wouldn't notice.

"I want you so much," Shogo groaned.

"I'm here."

"You know what I - I wish we could do more. When can we?"

"If you're still pestering me on your 16th birthday."

"You sound like you think I'll forget you or something."

"You're young. Too young for commitments."

Shogo sighed into the warm chest. "One of my friends has been with her _older_ boyfriend since we were 12. If she can commit at that age, I can now. I really like you."

"Despite how wrong it is," Taka said softly, "I really like you too."

Shogo squeezed him more tightly than one would think he could. "So...are we...together?"

"On one condtion."

"Secrecy, I know." Shogo bounced a little. "I have a boyfriend!"

"Ssh," Taka laughed. "Secrecy, remember?"

"I promise. Kiss me again."

Taka obliged happily, slowly and gently, finally giving way to the slight roughness Shogo wanted. For this he had to hold him close enough for both to feel each other's erections, and their mutual want poured into the almost-bruising kiss. When they parted (because Taka was about to tear the kid's pants off, law be damned), Shogo's sweet lips were just swollen enough to notice close-up. Taka liked this mark of possession, but thanked the gods he'd stopped before it got worse.

"Taka, I need to..."

"Me too. I'll walk back first after."

It was their new routine, disappearing into separate stalls to quietly relieve their needs. Shogo daydreamed of Taka hovering over him, mouth all over him, fingering his balls and sucking him hungrily until he spurted. He bit his lips and came hard into a handful of crumpled toilet paper.

Taka imagined Shogo's smooth body bared to him, on his lap and impaled on his cock, groaning with need and riding him with thrusts that made his small length bounce enticingly. He pretended his own hand was Shogo's sleek pink insides, and spurted hard into the toilet. Able to think clearly again, Taka quickly exited the bathroom and headed back to rehearsal. He tried to think of anything but Shogo, because he didn't want anyone seeing him with a big and dopey grin.

 _daimaodaimao_

 _ **Aniki,**_

 _ **Sorry I missed you yesterday. Rehearsals are so crazy now that I tend to fall asleep early. No, it's not too much for me, I'm loving it, it's just draining. I weighed myself, as you asked, and I've lost three pounds. So send the candy you promised. :P**_

 _ **How are things at home? Thank you for the photos of Roku. You're spending at least half an hour a day petting him, right? Remember, he has to be brushed every day, and since he only likes me doing it, you might have to chase him. Kiss him for me and tell him I miss him.**_

 _ **Of course, I miss you guys too. I miss Kaachan's cooking and Touchan's terrible jokes, and you incessantly nagging me. I can't wait till you all visit. I wish Roku could come, but I think this hotel is strict about pets.**_

 _ **I wanted to ask you something. My friend Yuya is with a girl back home in Nagoya, but he thinks he likes another girl. He likes them both and doesn't want to lose or hurt either of them. I told him you're good at giving advice. What do you think he should do?**_

 _ **I love you.**_

 _ **\- Kyou-chan**_

 _daimaodaimao_

Satisfied that he'd hit upon a sneaky way to get some guidance, Kyousuke shut his green laptop with a smile and pushed back a few strands of freshly-washed hair. It was true, Shinnosuke gave great advice, though the boy was thinking there was no painless way out of this triangle. Forgetting about Daisuke seemed fairest, but the man's presence in his mind was only growing. He found himself wondering if Daisuke could even like him that way. His gazes were so loving...but maybe no more than those of a brother.

Something occurred to the teenager, and he felt stupid for realizing only now. Yuya seemed jealous of Daisuke. Did he think the captain had feelings for the younger?

 _What do I do? What can I, without hurting anyone?_

The boy started when the bathroom door opened, and Yuya came out in an undershirt and boxers, rubbing his hair dry.

"Hey, baby. I was thinking, next time we have a little time off, we should check out that onsen in Nerima. It's supposed to be great."

"It is nice, I've been there with Aniki."

"But not with any other guys or girls, right?"

Kyousuke frowned. "No. I told you, I've never dated before you."

"Okay...I just find that weird, so I forgot."

"It's weird?" Kyousuke echoed, a little hurt.

Yuya lifted him to his feet and kissed his hands. "I don't mean that in a bad way. You're just so beautiful, I can't believe I'm the first to go after you."

"Girls don't like me."

"And guys?"

"...sometimes." _And men. Grabbing hands, get in the car, don't be afraid, you'll like this._ "Are you tired? Rehearsals were tough today. Even Shogo kept asking for breaks, I wonder what he was doing on his phone."

"Trying not to moon over Taka, I guess."

"Eh?"

"He's got a crush."

Kyousuke smiled. "That's so cute. I wonder if Taka knows."

"If he does, he's being his usual easy-going self about it. Come on, honey, let's go to bed."

With only a little hesitation, Kyousuke dimmed the room's lights and lay down beside his boyfriend. Yuya stroked his side over the pajama shirt, and Kyousuke squeezed a muscular shoulder and wondered how much Yuya wanted from him. The elder unbuttoned the shirt and spread it open, going straight to the nipples he loved to thumb.

The boy forced himself to relax and enjoy this, and it did feel nice. He was a little startled when the digit was replaced by a mouth. Yuya had only done this once so far. He sucked gently at first, swirling his tongue around the nub, scraping slightly with teeth, then sucking in earnest, hard.

"Nnn...Yuya...hurts."

"Sorry, baby."

In apology, he licked the bud gently to ease the soreness, spending a long time before moving to the other, almost eating it with his lips. Kyousuke sighed, thrust his chest up to allow this. He was getting hard slowly, but he knew Yuya was already there. Typically a short handjob followed this, but when he touched Yuya's hard shaft, he suddenly found himself on his back with the elder over him.

"Yuya?"

"Don't be scared. I want to come while watching you. Can I try something new?"

"What?"

Yuya tugged off the boy's pants and briefs. He put some lotion on his hand, but instead of beginning to jerk him off as usual, he was reaching lower.

"Yuya?"

"Ssh, don't be afraid."

"Y-Yuya - "

A finger was grazing a very private place that had always been purely exit-only. Two digits gently spread the cheeks, letting air shiver the wet pink insides. As though in preparation, Yuya opened and squeezed shut the cheeks alternately. The pressure sent pleasant tinglyness through Kyousuke, but this felt a bit too invasive to the private kid. Yuya put his palm against the opening and pushed, applying pressure to the thing inside Kyousuke had embarrassedly read about.

His lips parted in a groan. He felt light-headed for how good it felt, and if it had gone on like this, Kyousuke might have let it. But after what seemed a long time, a finger began to circle.

"Just relax."

"Wait - "

The finger entered with a very faint squelch, and the discomfort was physical and mental. Kyousuke whimpered, and Yuya kissed his forehead. The boy tried to close his legs, and Yuya edged them apart again. The finger slid in deeper, Yuya trying to find the spot quickly because Kyousuke was clearly agitated, and knew he found it when the boy moaned, but he was still moving in a way that did not imply he wanted this. _I can fix that_ , Yuya told himself.

He targeted the little pleasure gland, carefully put another finger in the tight heat to surround the prostate and stimulate it as much as he could. Kyousuke's head fell back, eyelids fluttered, but he was frowning.

"Y-Yuya?"

"What, baby?" _God, he's gorgeous like this._

"C-Could you...stop?"

The voice was tiny. Feeling frustrated but awful more than that, Yuya withdrew and wiped his hand.

"Baby, are you okay?"

"...I'm sorry. I just..."

"You're not ready. I'm so sorry, I should have realized. Here, let me take care of you and then we'll get some sleep."

Kyousuke wasn't sure he wanted that either just now, but he let Yuya slowly bring them both off. And he let Yuya clean up and carry him to the other bed. He wasn't angry, except at himself, and sad. He felt he wouldn't mind what Yuya had done...if it was Daisuke doing it.

 **To be continued.**


	6. Chapter 6

_Update yay. A warning - this contains sexual content involving a real-person minor. No offense is intended, and the author does not condone such acts being performed by or on any real people under the age of consent. This is just my screwed-up imagination, no more._

 _Thank you all for sticking with me. I'll try to be worthy of the lovely feedback I've been getting!_

 **HATSUKOI**  
 **Chapter 6**

"We can't. We _can't_. Are you insane? I only told you about the offer because I had to tell _someone_."

"Three hundred million yen each, Makita," Ogasawara reminded, eyes gleaming greedily.

"Is that worth a ruined conscience? He's a _baby_ , one of our cast babies, he's almost definitely a virgin. Us taking him ourselves would be one thing, but - "

"But this way, our hands are clean. Haneda said we could watch. It's basically a shitload of money for watching the best porn ever."

"Oga," Makita said softly, though they were alone in their room, "he's a child, he's innocence personified. Could you really stand to see him hurt like that?"

"You said yourself Haneda promised he would be handled with gentleness. He loves him, he guaranteed no pain."

"Except he'd be scarred on the inside."

"Yeah. Easy prey for us to sample ourselves." Ogasawara grinned.

Makita switched tactics. "What if he tells? We'd go to jail as accomplices. Buchou would literally tear us to pieces."

"He'd never tell," Ogasawara scoffed. "Would you, about something so embarrassing? Haneda-san said he'd be out of it, might even think it was all a dream."

"Oga..."

"Three hundred million, Maki. Clean hands."

Makita knew that, in silence, he was consenting. He was weak-willed and had a family to help support. But he was thinking of high school, of Lady McBeth who helped plot a murder, and could never stop washing her hands afterwards.

 _daimaodaimao_

"Aniki!"

Kyouske launched himself into his brother's arms and was lifted up in a tight hug. Shinnosuke never seemed to want to put him down but eventually did, kissing his forehead before physically passing the boy to the embrace of his also-tall father. The boy laughed and squeezed back as his petite mother joined the hug and kissed his cheek.

"My baby, how are you?"

"Great! But I've missed you guys like crazy."

Hamao Masanori glanced around the wide practice area and chuckled. "Hope we're not embarrassing around your friends, kiddo."

"Of course not." Goofball or no, Kyousuke had never felt embarrassed by his gregarious father. "How is everything at home? How's Roku?"

Hamao Masako laughed softly. "Spends most of his time hiding from your brother. Without you to cuddle, your aniki is taking it out on your cat."

Shinnosuke hmphed. "That animal still hates everyone but you, Kyou-chan. But I can assure you, Roku is getting fed, bathed, and brushed regularly. He misses you, though. We all do."

Kyousuke fought back a tear; he felt the same. Also, there was the guilt. Yuya was across the room looking at him with adoration. Were he to introduce the gentle young man for who he really was, Shinnosuke would drag him home and call the police to report statutory rape. Kyousuke caught Daisuke's eye instead and waved him over.

"Buchou, these are my parents, Masanori and Masako, and my aniki Shinnosuke. Guys, this is Watanabe Daisuke, who you've spoken to on the phone."

"It's a great pleasure," Daisuke said with a low bow.

Shinnosuke looked at him probingly. "Ohayou, Watanabe-san."

"Please, call me Dai-chan, everyone does."

Masanori shook his hand with a grin. "So you're the man protecting our baby. We're so grateful. Kyou-chan speaks very highly of you."

"Your son is an absolute joy. We've gotten to be good friends. Thank you so much for trusting me with him."

Masako was completely won over, and passed the young man a fancy box from her purse. "I brought you some homemade ginger snaps, dear."

"Thank you, that's so kind."

"Hey!"

"I have some for you too, Kyou-chan, I just left them at the hotel. We'll get them on the way back from lunch, along with some other things..."

Shinnosuke snorted. "Some, right. She's been buying out every candy store for you."

"Really?!"

Masako smiled. "But I hope you've been eating well."

"Buchou makes sure I do. The others too."

Daisuke looked at the boy fondly. "We're all very protective of our cast babies."

The parents smiled, while Shinnosuke studied the handsome man. He had a kind face, honest eyes, and he seemed to exude trustworthiness. But he was looking at Kyousuke very softly, and that was not okay. Only the likelihood of his feelings being brotherly and no more kept Shinnosuke calm. And the fact that it was not lust in those sincere eyes. He was not regarding the beautiful boy with the desire most men did.

"I know you have a lunch to get to," Daisuke was saying smoothly, "but if you have time, I'd be happy to introduce you to everyone else who's been taking care of your son."

"We'd love that," Masako said happily.

"Lead the way, Dai-chan," Masanori echoed merrily.

Everyone left a good impression, even grumpy Tomo, praising Kyousuke to the skies to his charmed and proud parents. Shinnosuke had done background checks on every one of them and nothing of consequence had come up, but he still looked critically at each and left the definite impression that Kyousuke was his treasure and was to be returned after the show's run in perfect condition, or there would be consequences.

He even found himself liking Tomo, having always appreciated bluntness, and actually laughed when the young man dryly summed up, "Don't worry, we let no one near the jailbait."

Embarrassed, Kyousuke lastly introduced the director and the minder. Calm Ryokyou sincerely said Kyousuke was highly talented and that an agent friend of his thought the boy would be ideal for movies. ("We'll discuss it," Masanori demured.) Stressed Masuda congratulated the Hamaos on raising the single most well-mannered child he'd ever met.

As the beaming family headed out, Ogasawara nudged Makita. "Can you imagine having MaoMao for a little brother? If I were that guy, I'd be able to hold out maybe until he turned twelve, no more."

Makita frowned. "Did you see how big he is? You want to dare make him mad?"

"I told you. MaoMao won't tell. We're doing this."

Makita shut his eyes and sighed. He had not lost the battle; there had never been one.

 _daimaodaimao_

Shogo wandered down the hallway, staring at his phone with puzzlement. Texts from Nobu were usually thinly-disguised flirting and encouragement, but this one made no sense. **Come to the supply closet closest to the west-side exit. Alone.** Weird. Ooh, maybe he had somehow left a present. Or he just wanted privacy to keep trying to convince Shogo to sext with him. The boy was not shy by any means, but doing anything intimate with anyone but Taka felt...weird.

He did like Nobu, but when he thought about it, he knew it was just hormones and physical attraction. Taka he wanted to hold hands with and cuddle as well as fuck. But the boy was sexually frustrated. Taka would hardly do more than kiss and pet him, no matter how prettily Shogo begged.

 _It's not like I'm asking him to fuck me with his racket or anything. Well, that one time._

When Shogo found and opened the door, he was greeted by Nobu smiling in the wan light. They grinned at each other.

"Hey, cutie."

Shogo grabbed him in a loose hug. "Hey! What are you doing here? How'd you get in past security?"

"Told Aramaki I left my camera in his dressing room, he let me in the side door."

"But why? To see me?" Shogo was flattered. He was the kind of child born to have fans.

"Yep. I've been thinking of how to help you get Taka."

"You want to help me? But...I kinda thought..."

Nobu took and cradled one of the boy's hands. "I do like you, I admit that. But I'm too old for you and I want you to be happy."

Deeply touched, Shogo hugged the young man again, gently this time, encouraged and grateful. Nobu ran his hands over the boy's back, marveling at how small and delicate he was, despite being toned and athletic. The hair tickling his nose was soft and smelled like something tropical. It was like holding one of the porcelain dolls his mother collected, but warm and alive.

"Okay, so what's your idea?" Shogo asked when they parted.

"Well, the whole problem is your age, which we can't change, and your inexperience, which we can. Taka can't bring himself, an older guy, to be your first."

"So...?"

"Simply put, you need to get deflowered. Then Taka won't be the one popping your cherry, and boom, guilt problem solved, happy couple achieved."

Shogo had turned red. "You mean..."

"If it's okay with you, I'm gonna de-virginize you so you can be with Taka. Only if it's okay with you."

Shogo's head was spinning. It's not like he didn't think about sex and having it. He was a hyper and precocious 14-year-old, he watched porn, he masturbated, he viewed sex with a mix of apprehension and longing. But...he wanted the rite-of-passage first to be Taka. He liked Nobu, but...

"Um..."

"You want him, don't you?"

"Yes."

Nobu smiled. "I'm not hideous, am I?"

"You're hot and awesome. I'm just..."

Nobu stroked the kid's soft cheek, the last faint bit of baby fat on him. "Scared? I know. I remember. But I like you a lot and I'd never hurt you. I'll make it nice for you, teach you how to do it so you can please Taka."

Shogo had been wavering; the thought of making Taka happy did it. Stomach twisted into knots, he slowly nodded, and Nobu grinned.

"Come on, we'll do it at the hotel."

"Wait, now? I'm not allowed to leave alone and without permission."

"Just say you were sick, make some excuse later." Nobu was hard and not very patient.

Shogo seemed to be in shock during the short walk to the hotel. He hadn't even changed out of his Echizen Ryoma costume, didn't realize he had it on until he was sitting on his bed and Nobu was removing his sneakers like he was a little kid. He really didn't feel very turned on or in the mood, didn't know what he was feeling if anything. Dazed, he tried to concentrate on the gentle hands undressing him slowly, like Nobu was savoring it, and the man's bulging erection almost shocked him into fear.

Nobu was feeling a bit nervous too, very aware that he was about to statutory-rape a 14-year-old boy. But need was stronger, need for the boy he'd become obsessed with. He sighed when he had the kid down to briefs. Shogo was lightly muscled, skin very, very lightly tanned and completely unblemished, abdomen flat and nipples a dusky pink. He wanted them in his mouth _now_ , but instead he cupped Shogo's face, watched the kid bite his lower lip and stroked the fair cheeks.

"Ssh, it's okay. I know how to do this and it's only uncomfortable at first. I promise, I'll take good care of you. Okay?"

"O-Okay."

Nobu kneeled down in front of him, ran his palms up the bared thighs, up the narrow hips, over the small waist, ran warm hands up and down the sides cooled from the air conditioning. He was trying to relax the boy, but couldn't tell if he was turning him on at all. Strategically, he put a thumb to each nipple and began to rub circles into them.

Nobu realized right away he had found an erogenous zone. Within seconds, Shogo's lips parted, head tilted back and lolled, soft but heavy breaths being exhaled. Nobu quickly licked his thumbs before continuing, working the saliva and cool air into nubs that firmed up under his attentions.

"Nnn..."

"That's it, just relax. Feels good, right?"

The boy moaned affirmatively, even rested his hands over Nobu's forearms, which was encouraging. Nobu stopped to admire his handiwork, the nubs wet and erect. Shogo blinked at him, still dazed, looking almost drugged and begging to be ravished.

"You are beautiful," Nobu said reverently, before leaning in.

Shogo arched his back into the lips that surrounded his nipple and the tongue that licked it. Much as he wanted to prolong this, Nobu also wanted more of the lovely moans, so he began to suck, first gently, then greedily.

"Oh God, that..." the kid groaned.

Nobu's erection was pulsing in his pants, but he had excellent control. He left one nipple red and protruding, then gave the other the same treatment. Shogo was definitely relaxed now, and with eyes closed allowed Nobu to lay him on his back on the bed. With one hand Nobu stroked his stomach, with the other took out his phone and took several pictures of the almost-nude body, the angry red nipples, including extreme close-ups as mementos of this occasion.

To his delight, Shogo had hardened, had a very nice bulge in his white underwear. Nobu carefully stroked it, and the boy made a needy sound.

"Honey, I'm gonna take them off. Don't be scared," Nobu soothed as he slid the briefs down.

Nobu's id was going crazy. The small, nearly hairless cock was pointing toward the boy's head, and a little wetness had gathered on the tip like morning dew. Nobu gently wiped it and licked his finger while he watched the organ bob. Enjoying the anticipation of what was to come, Nobu massaged his inner thighs, right up to where the legs met the torso.

Shogo was writhing, and the sight was mesmerizing. "Oh...N-Nobu, I..."

Nobu had his phone out again and was taking video of the half-cosed eyes and the weeping cock. He bounced it lightly with his fingers, then gently squeezed the tip a little.

"P-Please - "

"Tell me what you want." Nobu aimed the camera at his face.

The rosy-cheeked face was beautiful in its need. "M-Make me come, please."

But the boy was on the edge, and this was too lovely to rush. Nobu put two fingers around the short penis and began to rub it. He knew it wasn't enough for the boy, even when he took the tip into his mouth and sucked gently, milking it for the salty pre-come.

"Please, please!"

Nobu took pity, took it as far into his throat as he could and gave it all the pressure he could. Shogo came with a sound like weeping and spurted down the eager throat, then lay drowsily and satsifed while Nobu stroked him all over.

"It's amazing, you have skin like a baby's. I bet you're even smoother in here..."

Nobu had taken a tube of lubricant from his jeans pocket and slicked a few fingers. He gently pushed two into the boy's narrow insides, prompting a wince.

"It..."

"I know it's uncomfortable. Relax and it'll get better."

To distract him, Nobu quickly found the prostate and jabbed at it with less gentleness than he might have. Shogo continued to frown and shift restlessly, uncomfortably, but he was moaning with need. Nobu was careful to stretch him, but knew he wouldn't be able to wait long enough to spare the boy pain. With his free hand he unzipped his jeans, pulled his cock out and smeared lubricant all over.

Shogo seemed to wake to alertness when it started to nudge inside. "Nnn, it hurts."

"Breathe and relax and it will get better."

He didn't want to, but Shogo thought of a video he'd once seen of a woman practicing Lamaze and tried to imitate that. It did help a little, but he whimpered as the organ made its way completely in, pressing the prostate and brushing the opening with heavy testicles.

Shogo still seemed to be in pain, so Nobu made his thrusts very slow and slight, hardly exiting him at all before pushing back. It was the clench of muscle around him more than motion that had Nobu grunting with pleasure.

"You feel...incredible. Good boy, that's it, baby."

Baby. The endearment made Taka's face flash in Shogo's mind, along with _What the fuck am I doing?!_ The boy began to push Nobu away.

"No, no, stop, I can't."

"What? Relax, I'll be done soon."

"No, get out. I'm sorry, but I can't."

"Are you kidding? Come on, don't you like it?"

Nobu strategically targeted the prostate, but Shogo continued to shove him and tried to wiggle himself off the erection. Nobu grabbed his arms and pinned them.

"Stop it, just relax and I'll make you - "

Shogo fixed him with a cold, deadly stare. "Pull out or I start screaming."

Nobu cursed and did as he was told. "Fucking tease. I was trying to help you."

The young man went to the bathroom, presumably to take care of his arousal. Wincing from soreness, Shogo forced himself to his feet and dressed as quickly as he could, which was pretty slowly. Nobu came out just as Shogo finished tying his last sneaker. Without looking at the boy he'd seemingly been so fond of, Nobu muttered, "You better not tell anyone," and left, slamming the door behind him.

Shogo found himself uttering a strange laugh. "I almost lost my virginity to an asshole. That's not right for the Prince of Tennis. Wait...does this count? Did I lose..." _I've lost_ something _, at least. I feel it._

Shogo's thus-far-ignored phone rang and he answered this time, without thinking. "Moshi moshi."

"Where the hell are you?" Taka half-shouted. "You've got us worried sick."

Taka. _Do not cry._ He wanted Taka.

"Hotel room. Can you come?"

"What's wrong? Are you hurt?"

"Sore, that's all. Please come." The boy's voice was oddly disconnected.

The anger went out of Taka's tone. "Honey, have you been hurt?"

Shogo's stomach trembled. "Uh-uh. Will you come?"

"I'm on my way right now. You stay right where you are."

Shogo's shaking fingers dropped the phone, and he laughed again. "Prince of Tennis. I can juggle rackets but can't hold my phone. I better get back on my game, or Higa will whip our butts. I'm such a girl. It's just sex." _Sex, not with Taka._ "N-No big deal."

He closed his eyes, and it seemed only seconds before the door flew open. With Daisuke close behind, Taka rushed in and knelt down.

"Baby, are you hurt? What happened?"

Shogo smiled; the fakeness of it hurt the two men. "Nothing the Prince of Tennis can't handle."

Daisuke pulled Taka to his feet and pointed silently to a small bloodstain on the bedspread. The elder kept his expression a mask, but Taka's was contorted with rage. He tried to hide it as he squatted back down.

"Shogo, who was in here with you?"

"I told him he could. I changed my mind before he was done. Sorry, Inui-senpai, Buchou."

Taka took a deep breath. "Did he stop when you told him to?"

"Yes. Don't do anything. It was my fault and I don't want the rest of the team or anyone else to know."

"Who was it?" Daisuke asked.

"It was that Nobu, wasn't it? I'm gonna kill - " Shogo started shaking. "Okay, ssh, I won't. I won't do anything you don't want me to. Does it hurt?"

"Not really."

Daisuke went in the bathroom, returned with ibuprofen and a glass of water. Shogo took them without any of his usual whining or pouting. Taka sat next to the boy and pulled him close. Shogo immediately pressed his face into Taka's shirt and hugged him back. Daisuke hovered near, smoothed the boy's hair as Taka stroked his back and arm. The man spoke very quietly, not knowing how much the kid was hearing.

"How old is this guy, Taka?"

"Early twenties. I know, that's stat rape whether he consented or not. But we can't do anything, Buchou. A trial, leaving the musical, his parents finding out...I can't let him be hurt any more than this. Is it normal for him to be in pain?"

"A little, from being stretched, we'd be able to tell if it was more than that. I have stronger painkillers if he needs them, but rest and maybe a bath should take care of it."

"He's shaking."

"Let me see him."

Taka gently moved the kid so Daisuke could bend and gaze into his face. Shogo looked frozen in his character's default cockiness, and Daisuke was reminded of a shattered mirror taped back together.

"How do you feel?"

"Mada mada da ne." A shrug.

"Shogo, be upset. It's okay to be."

"Nothing can rattle the Prince of - "

"Echizen, obey your captain and cry!" Daisuke exploded.

The porcelain mirror crumbled. Shogo's chin quivered, and his squinting eyes at once overflowed. Shaking spasms seized his upper body like he was convulsively bowing, and a low, keening wail escaped his throat. Taka hugged the boy close and fought his own tears as he rocked Shogo and kissed his head.

"D-Don't hate me - "

"I don't, I don't."

"I'm sorry, he said you wouldn't touch me until I did it with someone else, and I only want you so I made him stop but I-I ruined everything, you can't be my first now - "

"Ssh, honey, that doesn't matter to me. I'm not gonna leave you, I'm not mad at you, I just want you to be okay."

"I thought...you'd be disgusted with me."

Taka gently teased Shogo's face up by kissing his lips. Partly he wanted to see if intimacy would frighten the boy, but Shogo reciprocated like a thristy man would guzzle water, needing this, taking comfort. Tears continued to flow, slowly now, and both actors swallowed the salty water. Taka chastely stroked the boy all over, and his hands seemed to chase the tremors away. When they needed to breathe, Shogo snuggled into his neck and Taka looked worriedly at Daisuke.

The captain didn't look horrified. "It's okay, Taka."

"He's only fourteen."

"I have reasons that disallow me to judge," Daisuke sighed. "I'm going to get him a painkiller and tell Sensei he's sick and you need to stay with him. Then, if you're both okay, I need to get back."

"You want to stay close to MaoMao. I understand now."

"Good," Daisuke said as he went to the door. "Explain it to me sometime."

Shogo hoisted himself onto Taka's lap and settled facing him, legs around his waist. Though he hid his face, Taka smiled with relief to see Shogo, like his usual self, just did whatever he wanted to. Taka stroked his back, then half-playfully patted his bottom.

"You okay, baby?"

"Uh-huh. You're really not mad?"

"Nobu shouldn't have been touching you. I wish you'd told me or avoided him, but I'd have to be mad at your hormones, and that seems silly. I'm just glad you weren't..."

"I'm sorry for worrying you."

Taka kissed his forehead. "You're not leaving my sight till I say so. And I'm gonna ask Yuuta to switch rooms with me, so I don't run into Nobu and rip his spine out."

"Don't do anything."

"Okay," Taka sighed.

Daisuke returned, physically opened Shogo's mouth and dropped a white pill into it. As the boy swallowed, the captain said, "It might make him a little loopy for a while, so supervise him closely. We'll be rehearsing around both of you today, Sensei okayed you two being off."

"Thank you, Dai-chan."

"Are you mad at me, Buchou?"

"You're just lucky you're so cute." With a smile, Daisuke ruffled Shogo's hair and took his leave.

Taka ran Shogo a bath in the Western-style bathroom and helped the sore boy into it. While Shogo cleaned himself, Taka talked quietly about his own family, his pets, the small town he was from full of gardens and rice fields he'd used to bike through. Shogo looked distracted, but really he was hanging on every word to keep calm. Taka washed the boy's back, and when he stepped out wrapped a towel around him like one would a toddler.

The pill Daisuke had brought went into effect, and Shogo was so unsteady on his feet that Taka had to help him into his T-shirt and sweatpants.

"You okay?"

"I feel better."

"That's goo- "

Shogo kissed him. Taka lay down beside the kid, explored his mouth slowly, and gently massaged his backside to help the faint ache in it subside. Shogo placed a hand on top of the elder's, guided its movement.

"This is yours," the kid moaned.

"We'll get there, baby," Taka promised, with another kiss. "We'll get there."

 **To be continued. We get back to Mao next chapter, promise.**


	7. Chapter 7

_I strongly advise you not to read this. Let me revise that. If you are sensitive, easily triggered, don't like to see "real people" facing dark dark stuff in fanfic, don't read this. This is where the angst happens, so Ammy-chan can get to what she really loves - the comfort._

 _No offense intended, believe it or not._

 **HATSUKOI**  
 **Chapter 7**

No one else knew what had happened to Shogo, but he was back at work the following day, more genki than ever. All that was whispered about him was that he seemed to be crushing on Taka. And Taka didn't seem to mind, was all hugs and indulgent smiles. Because of their age difference, few believed there was anything really going on between them, though Ogasawara said to Makita that he would gladly "pound that jailbait's tight baby ass given half a chance." Makita himself seemed pale and anxious, and was asked several times if he was okay.

The day was choreography-heavy, and though Shogo was back in top form, Kyousuke had skipped breakfast to Skype with his brother, and he kept getting dizzy during the spins. Yuya caught him the first time, then scowled the second when Daisuke got to him first.

"Mao-kun, you look pale. You didn't eat, did you?"

"Um...sorry."

"We'll be right back," Daisuke said, and pulled the boy by his hand to the back room, where he refused to let him out until he drank a pint of milk and ate a cereal bar.

"Mao-kun, you know better. You need all the calories you can get, it's not safe for you to be skipping meals."

"Gomen, Buchou. I just..."

Daisuke looked at him gently. "I know you miss your brother, kid. I know it's hard. Are you getting enough time to contact Shinnosuke-san? Or is Yuya taking up all of it?"

"Yuya..." _He's jealous._ "Yuya is good. I just...I'm defective. I don't know how to be a good boyfriend."

"Mao-kun, nothing is wrong with you." _You're perfect._ "Yuya should be visiting every shrine and temple in Japan to thank the gods for you. If he makes you feel for a second like you're less than perfection, tell me so I can kick his ass."

 _I like you._ Kyousuke's eyes glistened, and he looked down. "Why are you so nice to me?"

 _I love you._ "You deserve it. You're one of the sweetest people I've ever met." _And vulnerable. Damaged. Tomo's right, he's Takumi._ "Are you crying?"

"Uh-uh."

"Come here."

Kyousuke went into the hug eagerly, finding it warm and comforting, somehow a more natural fit than Yuya's embraces. He fit against the taller body, his head on Daisuke's shoulder, the hand on the the back of his neck. Daisuke dared lean into the boy's neck and inhale, and wondered yet again why Kyousuke smelled so sweet, herbal with a ghost of floral. He held the teenager close, smelled him again, even brushed his nose over the fair skin hiding a speeding-up pulse.

Breathing a little heavier, Kyousuke pressed his face to Daisuke's neck and did his own sniffing, finding a slightly spicy aroma he quite liked. When Daisuke drew back, it was only to cup the flawless face that blinked innocently at him.

He knew he shouldn't say it, but it came out. "You're so..."

"Eh?"

"Beautiful."

He worried right away the boy would be afraid, but Kyousuke only smiled and leaned a pink cheek further into one hand's grasp. Daisuke wanted so badly to kiss him, might have had the door not abruptly opened.

"What's going on here?"

Daisuke quickly dropped his hands. "Mao-kun was just telling me he's missing his aniki."

Yuya looked at Kyousuke with faint anger. "You told him I asked you to skip Skyping with him last night?"

"No," Kyousuke said, feeling flustered.

"I'm your boyfriend, I have a right to your time."

"You better not be pressuring him," Daisuke said coolly, "into anything, at any time."

"Am I pressuring you, MaoMao?"

"N-No, please, guys, don't f- "

"Why were you touching him?" Yuya's voice got louder with each word. "Why are you constantly touching him? He's mine, not - "

" _He_ is not a possession, or a status symbol."

"MaoMao, come on."

"Please don't be angry."

"I'm not angry at you, baby. I just don't particularly trust certain people with you."

Kyousuke frowned. "Don't be rude to Buchou. He's been nothing but kind to me, I don't understand why you - "

"You don't understand because you're innocent."

"Stop treating me like a baby!"

"Honey, I'm sorry," Yuya said more softly. "I just want to protect you."

"But you don't need to protect me from Buchou, he's my friend. Right?"

"Of course I am," Daisuke said quietly. "Yuya, you and I want the same thing - for MaoMao to be happy. Why don't we work together to ensure that?"

The rivals stared at each other for a long few moments, before Daisuke headed for the door.

"I'll give you two a minute, and Yuya, he had better be smiling when you return."

Yuya spoke as soon as they were alone. "Are you cheating on me with him?"

" _What_? Of course not. Why would you think - "

"He _likes_ you!" Yuya quietly exploded. "You never realize when someone wants you, and he does, and you flirt with him."

"I don't!" Kyousuke was mostly telling the truth; he didn't even know how to flirt on purpose.

"You let him touch you!"

"Buchou's just physical. He touches Shogo-kun too."

"You really don't see how he looks at you?"

 _Do I? Could Dai-chan really like me?_ It should have been uncomfortable. It was elating. But the boy held onto a slight anger. After all, he _hadn't_ cheated.

"Yuya, I would never cheat on you. I like you."

"You don't love me, though." Yuya left a pause. "I love you and you don't love me."

"We've only just...I...can't you give me time?"

Yuya shut his eyes for a moment. "Yeah. Look, I think we need a little space."

Kyousuke's eyes stung. "Are we...breaking up?"

"We're calling a hiatus until you figure out what you want. I'll give you your space today and spend the night at that capsule hotel nearby. Think, okay?"

Tears were dripping down the teenager's face. "Yuya, I'm sorry."

Yuya came closer and hugged the boy. "Please don't cry, honey. I love you and that won't change. I just can't stand to not trust you. Think a little, and if you want me, I'll be here. If not..."

"I don't even know if Buchou likes me like that."

"He does, MaoMao. Everyone knows it."

Yuya gently wiped his face dry, kissed him for several moments, and left, holding back a sob. Kyousuke began to weep again, then forced himself to calm down. He didn't want Yuya to be hurt by himself and Daisuke any more than this.

 _daimaodaimao_

Rehearsal was tense the rest of the day; even Tomo didn't dare crack any jokes. Yuya and Kyousuke played their best-friend characters with professional perfection, but otherwise did not look at each other, and both were noticeably sad. Ogasawara nudged Kyousuke during a break and said, "Baby, are you okay?"

Though normally reticent, Kyousuke let it all pour out, the relationship trouble, Yuya's suspicions, and the elder's choice to spend the night elsewhere, missing Ogasawara's quick grin at that last point. Outwardly he was all sympathy, stroking the boy's hand and noticing the softness of the skin.

"Well, _do_ you like Dai-chan?"

The boy looked embarrassed. "I...think I might. But Yuya must be wrong, Buchou acts more like an older brother."

"Or he treats you like a kid because he thinks his feelings are wrong, or would scare you."

"Do you think...Buchou likes me like that?"

Ogasawara shrugged. "He certainly looks at you like he does."

"What should I do?"

"Depends on if you want him or not."

Kyousuke was adorably flustered. "Even if I did...and he did...our age difference."

Ogasawara smiled. "Love has no age, no limitations. Most gay guys started with older men. My first time, I was fourteen, he was twenty-two."

Kyousuke looked surprised. "But I don't want to get Buchou in trouble. My brother is really protective."

"You won't be underage forever. You know, I heard Dai-chan is auditioning for that new 'Takumi-kun' movie. You should too."

"I'm not good enough, and I don't know if my parents would let me do a BL."

Another smile. "Nice idea, though, isn't it? Don't you like the thought of Dai-chan touching you?" Ogasawara laughed kindly as the boy looked away. "You're adorable. I'd snatch you up myself were I not taken. I wish I knew how to help you better, baby."

"Oh no, Senpai, you've bee very comforting. Thank you."

Feeling just a little better, Kyousuke went to join the others in stretching by the mirrors. Ogasawara made a quick call and scribbled some notes, then texted Makita. **Tonight.**

 _daimaodaimao_

Kyousuke and Daisuke rode to the hotel that night in the same car, next to one another, and since Yuya was not in the vehicle, the elder slipped an arm around the boy's back. Kyousuke let his head fall on the nearest shoulder.

"Tired, kid?"

"I'll be more awake after I shower, I always am."

"Do you want me to stay with you tonight? I'm not sure I like you being left alone."

Kyousuke smiled sadly. "No, thank you. Yuya's right. I need to think, um, about our relationship. It's not fair that he loves me and I think I just like him. A lot, but..."

"Mao-kun, your feelings aren't wrong. Going slow is sensible. And you haven't had relationships before this. No one knows what they're doing the first time around. Or ever, for that matter."

The boy half-laughed, half-groaned. "You're not encouraging me."

"It gets easier, baby. And if you and Yuya are meant to be, things will work out."

"I don't want to hurt him," Kyousuke murmured.

"People are resilient. We always bounce back." Daisuke stroked handfuls of the kid's silky hair. "You won't forget to email your brother, right?"

"I'll do it right after I shower."

"Are you sure you don't want me to come with you?" Daisuke asked as they entered the lobby.

"Yeah, I'm okay. Buchou...thank you."

Without really considering it, Daisuke lifted one of the teenager's hands and pressed a lingering kiss to it. Kyousuke felt like a faint flame had been lit in each of his cheeks, and his laugh was nervous, his smile genuine.

"I'm gonna head to the bar for a drink. Call my cell if you need me, no matter what time. Okay?"

Kyousuke agreed, said good night, and went to his room. It felt sad to be there alone. He showered and put on pajamas, nibbled a protein bar Daisuke had given him, and wrote a fake-cheerful email to Shinnosuke, telling him he was becoming less dizzy and wasn't falling so much during spins anymore. As usual, he promised he was eating three full meals each day in addition to his frequent snacks. Thanks to his mother, the sweet-toothed boy had a duffel bag full of candy in the closet.

There were some messages in his inbox from friends, and Kyousuke stared blankly at the page for a long time before firing off quick responses. Rather than do the thinking he needed to, Kyousuke watched cat videos on NicoNico until there was a knock at the door.

Ogasawara, with a stressed-looking Makita behind him, smiled. "Hey, MaoMao. I thought of a way to help you."

Hope lifted the boy's heart. "Really?"

"Yeah, a friend of mine, a relationship expert, is in town."

"Like a matchmaker?"

"She does that too, but mostly she gives romantic advice. People she pairs tend to stay together for life."

"Really? Can I meet her?"

"That's why we're here. She's expecting us."

"Eh?" Kyousuke blinked. "Now?"

"She only works at night, part of her thing is she consults the spirits. You want expert advice, right?"

"Yes. Um, okay, let me get dressed."

Kyousuke closed the door and threw on jeans, a sweater, a jacket, and sneakers. Ogasawara assured him it was just a short walk, and they headed out into the night just after ten p.m. Kyousuke was surprised when they led him into the fanciest hotel in the area, and again when the front desk clerk compared Ogasawara's face to a photo, and gave him the penthouse elevator key.

"She must be really good, to stay in a place like this," Kyousuke mused, examining the gold-framed walls. "Makita-senpai, are you okay? You look sick."

The young man forced a smile. "Just don't like elevators."

"Oh. Don't worry, I've heard they're safe as houses."

The door opened to reveal a very small hallway with only one ornate door. Ogasawara knocked, while Makita stayed behind Kyousuke, and Ogasawara tugged him into the room and shut the door behind them. Kyousuke had almost no time to register how beautiful the huge bedroom area was before his heart started to race. Something was wrong. There was no woman in sight, only several men in suits and a middle-aged man wearing an expensive-looking kimono.

Kyousuke backed up into the steadying arms of Ogasawara, who murmured, "Ssh, baby, don't be scared. We won't let anyone hurt you."

The man in the kimono put his wine glass down, rose, and slowly approached. "Hello, Kyousuke-kun. Please, there's nothing to be afraid of. My name is Haneda and I'm a fan who's been wanting to meet you."

The boy could only croak out a whisper. "I-I need to go."

"Not yet, child. Stay and be my guest a while."

Kyousuke tried to turn, to get to the door, but Ogasawara was holding him, and the younger was no match for the elder's strength. Makita, next to his best friend, softly said, "Please promise again you won't hurt him."

Haneda addressed his victim. "Kyousuke-kun, we have no wish to harm you. Please don't cry. And please refrain from screaming. These chambers are soundproofed and it would be no use."

No worries there; he was so scared he couldn't get out any sound but the whimpering accompanying his tears. He shrank back into the body behind him as Haneda reached out to stroke his cheek.

"You are even more beautiful up close. Far too lovely for pain. Don't worry. Tonight I will teach you pleasure."

A surge of adrenaline shot through Kyousuke. He was weaker than Ogasawara, but felt like he was getting close to free...then a suited man was close, holding a handkerchief to his nose. The boy tried to hold his breath, but eventually inhaled a medicinal smell, quickly in fact to make up for the missed oxygen. He felt weak suddenly, not tired, but like he'd lost all his strength. His knees buckled and his senpai had to hold him up, and Haneda was close again and swiping the tears off his face.

"Sir, shall I take him to the bed?"

"I will do it."

Two of the suited men now had high-quality video cameras and were beginning to film their boss. Haneda carefully scooped a boneless Kyousuke into his arms and slowly, like a groom carrying his bride, carried him to the wide camopied bed with the curtains tied back to the posts. He settled the dazed-looking teenager onto the bed as one might a sleeping child. Haneda waved away his approaching employees and untied and removed Kyousuke's shoes himself.

"Please," Kyousuke begged, trying to lift his arms. "Just let me go, I won't tell, I swear."

Completely unperturbed, Haneda maneuvered the boy out of his jacket and threw it over a chair. He then sat beside his captive and soothingly pet his hair.

"It's all right. I wouldn't harm an angel like you. I just want to make you feel good, then your friends can take you home."

 _Friends._ Kyousuke looked at them pleadingly. "Oga-senpai..."

The man seemed unmoved, just shook his head. "Sorry, baby. He's paying too much for me to resist,"

"Makita..."

Makita turned to face the wall and covered his mouth with his hand. Strangely methodically, Haneda folded Kyousuke's sweater and undershirt up inch by inch until his flat belly was revealed. He lightly rubbed the toned and shaking stomach, and with his free hand gestured a cameraman to shoot closer up. He tugged the boy's jeans down just enough to bare his waist and the slight flare out into hips. Haneda sighed with happiness and stroked the bare sides.

"You are like my fine wines. One wants the delicious nectar all at once, but some things are so exquisite, they demand to be savored. Please, my other guests, sit and have a drink."

The actors each took a glass of sake, Ogasawara sipping the high-quality stuff, Makita chugging it. The latter looked pale and unwell, but was looking at Kyousuke now. He deserved that much punishment at least.

A louder whimper escaped Kyousuke when Haneda began to kiss his stomach, now and then licking it, sweeping the little belly button with his tongue. One hand stroked a denim-covered thigh, the other slid beneath Kyousuke's neck and massaged the nape. He seemed unabl to stop touching the captive boy, sitting up only to push the sweater further. He looked at the softly heaving chest and pale nipples for a long time with his mouth watering.

He pulled the sweater off Kyousuke's arms and over his head. Then he slipped an arm under the white shoulders so Kyousuke was lifted a little with his head lolling back. Haneda began to kiss him, and the boy made panicked noises of refusal and tried to move away, but was still too weak. Haneda didn't seem to mind that Kyousuke had locked his jaw; he merely moved from licking the lips to pressing his mouth all over the soft face.

"Pretty little baby boy," Haneda cooed, and kissed his squeezed-shut eyelids. "Let me worship you."

He could wait no longer and moved to the soft nipples, rubbing one while tonguing and sucking the other. This was not like with Yuya, not pleasant and comfortable, and far from worship. Kyousuke felt like a worthless piece of meat being toyed with. It didn't even feel physically good; he found the man's mouth and dry lips revolting. Haneda, however, was eagerly sampling the boy's skin as though he couldn't get enough of the taste.

Haneda couldn't get the soft pink mounds to harden, but left them sore and glistening, then began to massage the chest and stomach again. When he did finally draw the jeans down, it was with the manner of a child opening his last and biggest birthday present. He paused a short while so the cameraman could get plenty of footage. Haneda then stroked the boy through his underwear, all while wearing an eerily paternal smile. Nearby, Ogasawara was casually stroking himself through his slacks.

"Do you do this to yourself?" Haneda asked. "You seem too innocent. But I'm sure your boyfriend has. How about inside? Has he probed with eager fingers, forgetting your pain, getting lost in your heat?"

Kyousuke only trembled and cried in response. Haneda gently slid the underwear down and off, and everyone leaned forward or came closer. The boy was glorious, all thin, faint muscle, a slight and perfectly formed body covered with slightly luminescent pearl skin. As the cameramen took close-ups, as even guilty Makita licked his lips, Haneda touched the lithe frame reverently with his fingertips.

"You are glorious," Haneda murmured. "It would be a miracle if you are truly a virgin. Sensei?"

A seated suited man approached the bed, snapping on a pair of latex gloves and dipping a finger into a jar of something. Haneda held Kyousuke's knees back, barely feeling the boy's struggle. The doctor slowly inserted his wet digit into the bared backside, felt around with a thoughtful expression. He was an expert in his field, as experienced as he was easily bribed. He snapped the gloves off.

"Fingers, perhaps. No penile penetration."

Haneda grinned. "Good boy. Thank you, Sensei. No wonder you're nervous, Kyousuke-kun, but I assure you, I'm very good at this."

"Prepare him carefully," the doctor cautioned. "He is unusually narrow, probably because he's so small. Go slowly as well."

"I will." Haneda gently masturbated the boy, as though rewarding him. "You see what care I plan to take with you, having my physician here to keep you as comfortable as possible."

The touch felt physically good, but Kyousuke was too miserable and terrified to show any arousal. Seeing the boy's fear, Haneda briefly considered administering an aphrodisiac, but decided against it. He wanted the apprehension and innocence, found it more lovely than eagerness and need would be on him. Also, the egotistical man liked the challenge of seeing if he could force the kid to enjoy this. He'd taken a few unwilling like this before, and he'd been able to make most of them climax.

Haneda carefully inserted his slick index finger into the boy's heat. The muscle clamped right down.

"A little more muscle relaxer."

Kyousuke groaned refusal, but the damp handkerchief with the medicinal smell was held to his face again. His trembling slowed, false calm swept through his veins, and the pressure inside let up just slightly, giving Haneda a little room to move his finger circularly. He felt so good that Haneda couldn't resist pushing one knee up to see the faint peek of wet pink being rubbed by his finger.

He gestured one of the cameramen over and mimed a request to zoom in close. Footage was taken of the bit of wet rosiness visible when Haneda held the hole open. He thought of shoving the lens inside to take internal pictures, but his finger was too comfortable, so he said, "Film his face."

The boy's face was pale with an expression of sadness and confusion. Pain twisted it a little when two fingers breached him. Kyousuke opened his eyes when a hand touched his nape and lifted. A bottle was being put to his lips, and he pressed them tightly together.

"Drink or you'll be in pain," Haneda said, still casually probing him. "You'll care less as well."

He still didn't want it, so the man holding it pinched his nose shut, poured it into his mouth, then clapped a hand over his lips till he swallowed. Haneda seemed pleased, as though a weight were lifted from his conscience. Kyousuke felt a little warm and lightheaded, but still made a noise of refusal when a third finger pushed in.

"Your boyfriend must not have done much, you're tight as a clenched fist," Haneda said, still pleased. "I don't want to be rough with you, forgive me, but I must be a bit forceful or you'll squeeze me right out."

"Please...don't..."

"Ssh. It doesn't hurt much now, does it?"

It did hurt much less, but only physically. As the three fingers struggled to stay inside the relaxing muscles, as Kyousuke's fuzzy brain struggled to work, he found himself wanting not his brother, not his parents, not Yuya. He wanted Dai-chan. He wanted to curl up in those warm arms and cry forever.

Kyousuke was startled out of his thoughts when a pair of dry lips touched his own. He tried to turn away but his head was stopped, tried to keep his mouth shut but it was held open. He was too afraid of Haneda to bite, and nauseated, allowed the disgusting tongue to probe him. It was a gentle kiss, and hands were stroking his cheeks and hair, and these loving gestures made the whole situation more horrible.

"Don't drink any more, we need to be sober to get him back," Ogasawara whispered to Makita.

"I can't watch this sober."

"Why? It's hot."

Just for a moment, before Makita's apathetic mask returned, there was a strange look on his face. He was staring at his best friend as though he'd never seen anything like him before. And what he saw was horror, horror that can't speak. It was actually easier to turn back to the cast baby they'd betrayed, deciding to busy himself watching Kyousuke for signs of physical pain that he could call to attention.

There wasn't much of it for the boy; the muscle relaxer had actually allowed four fingers inside now. Kyousuke was shivering, so Haneda ordered a subordinate to turn up the heat before going back to kissing the teenager's face, ears, and neck. Haneda marveled at the silkiness of the cool skin, of how almost-inhumanly perfect and flawless it was. He moved down the soft arms to kiss each finger in turn; even the nails were manicured and just the right length (the work of one of the musical's makeup artists). Haneda was thrilled, this was everything he had hoped, except...

The nipples and penis remained soft, there was no sign the boy was enjoying this. Undeterred, Haneda zeroed in on the prostate and played with it forcefully, grinning when a groan emerged that wasn't one of pain, but more of surprise and pleasure, however forced it was.

"N-Not there, p-please..."

"Ssh, honey, just enjoy it."

"See, listen to him?" Ogasawara said softly. "He's not in pain, he likes it."

Without turning to look at him, Makita mutely nodded.

One hand busy finger-fucking, Haneda wrapped the other around the boy's limp cock. He was able to get a few droplets of pre-come to spill out onto Kyousuke's stomach, quickly licking it off, but the organ didn't stiffen, even after a long time. Kyousuke's cheek lay against the pillow, soaking it with his tears, eyes closed to keep them from rolling back. He whimpered softly when he sensed the cameraman moving in for close-ups of his face.

 _Buchou, Buchou, why didn't I let you stay with me? Why did I trust...but they were so nice, why did they..._

Kyousuke opened his eyes when his knees were pushed up toward his chest and Haneda was getting ready to -

"No," the boy begged, in hardly more than a whisper. "Please don't, anything but that."

"Why wait for someone else? No one loves you more than I do."

 _Yuya? Dai-chan?_

"Give him more." As one of the suits forced Kyousuke to drink more of the liquid analgesic, Haneda addressed one of his guests. "See, Makita-kun? As I promised, no pain."

"That's enough," the doctor cautioned the suit. "You can't give him too much, he's too small."

"Will this be enough, Sensei?"

"I believe so, he shouldn't have more than soreness." The doctor quickly looked at the boy's eyes. "Yes, he's definitely feeling the effects."

Dazed, Kyousuke blinked at the ceiling. He knew where he was and what was happening, but it seemed far away. He barely managed to croak out another "Please" as Haneda pressed the tip of his engorged cock to the opening.

"Just relax, Kyousuke-kun. I'll make sure it feels good."

Kyousuke cried out as it began to slowly press inside. The pain was faint, but there was a burning as he was stretched open. He didn't have enough strength even to try wiggling away, but made whimpering noises. Makita felt like his heart was turning to stone as he watched. Imagining a pretty boy being fondled and raped was one thing. Seeing it happen, the cries and the pleas, was worlds away from every fantasy he'd ever had. He didn't think he would ever enjoy them again.

"Good boy. Gods, so tight," Haneda moaned. "That's it. Okay, I'm in. I'm touching your sweet spot, right? How does it feel? Don't cry. I'll put some more pressure on it and you'll feel better. It would also help if you relax a bit more."

Kyousuke looked at him miserably, knowing now no plea would make Haneda stop until the man was finished. Haneda gently wiped the tears off his cheeks.

"You look lovely crying, but I would prefer to see you enjoy this. How is it now?"

Kyousuke trembled and pursed his lips tightly together. Accepting the challenge, Haneda pushed himself hard against the prostate, and grinned when a little cry escaped. He then seemed unwilling to wait any longer, and slowly withdrew leaving only the tip inside, then back in. Worse than the slight pain was the rapist's content expression, like he had finally attained what he wanted more than anything. He was looking at his victim almost fondly, and as Haneda thrust he gently traced Kyousuke's features with his fingers, as though trying to memorize his face, now and then stroking his lips and pushing his thumb into the wet mouth to spread saliva over them.

All this time, the cameramen were on either side of the bed, documenting every inch of Kyousuke's shaking and violated body. They seemed emotionless, as though this was routine. In one of the corners, the doctor was watching his client rape a 16-year-old boy with mild interest.

As he got close, Haneda returned his hand to Kyousuke's crotch and stroked him with less gentleness than his previous touches. Again, a few milky drops spilled, but it remained flaccid. Makita and Ogasawara briefly feared the rich and powerful man would be angry, but he smiled indulgently.

"So innocent. You don't want to come, baby?"

 _I want to die. I want Dai-chan._

The only hard, brutal thrust was the last, when Haneda spilled into his victim with an exultant cry. After a long orgasm, he braced himself over Kyousuke with his hands on his bed and slid out of the hole leaking blood and semen. Kyousuke closed his eyes as though in defeat as the tired man hovered over him, caressed him with soft murmurs.

"You were perfect, baby, so good. I love you so much. Just relax, I know you're sore. My kouhai will get you cleaned up and you'll feel better."

Apparently expecting this, one of the suited men carefully lifted Kyousuke up and they both disappeared into the huge adjoining bathroom. Whistling, Haneda dressed himself, stripped the bloody comforter from the bed and shoved it into a duffel bag. Then he sat, poured himself a drink, and seemed to be in a reverie for a long time. At last, he spoke.

"Perhaps you are regretting this, Makita-kun?"

"No, sir." The lie was obvious.

"I suppose I need not tell you that no one would believe you."

"I won't tell anyone, sir," Makita said quietly. "I'm as culpable as you and Oga are."

"And you, Ogasawara-kun? Did you like it?"

"It was amazing. Can I have a copy of the footage?"

A hearty laugh. "Perhaps."

Ogasawara continued. "Thank you for not being rough."

"I have been to others, but Kyousuke-kun is much too beautiful for pain."

"And the payment, sir?"

"By the time you return to your hotel, your bank accounts will be holding your fee and a generous tip. How would you like to make that fee again, doubled?"

Makita sat up straight, alarmed. Did Haneda want them to do this all over again? He couldn't, he _couldn't._

"How?" Ogasawara was asking.

"Further facilitation. You will take Kyousuke somewhere alone, just the two of you. You will be found lightly beaten, with no knowledge of what happened to your little friend."

Makita shook his head, but his friend probed further. "How long would you keep him?"

"Permanently, of course." Haneda sounded surprised by the question, but the young men were shocked. "No need to worry. He'll have a good life with me. He'll be adored, spoiled, maybe even eventually won over. Now that I've finally touched him, I don't think I like the thought of being without him."

"Hmm..."

"Oga!" Makita hissed. "We can't!"

"Why? You heard Haneda-sama. MaoMao will be the pet of a rich man who loves him. Who wouldn't take that?"

"But-but...his family, Yuya, Buchou, it would kill them. And we could be caught."

Haneda broke in, calmly as ever. "I could set you up with untraceable Swiss bank accounts. As far as anyone would know, you simply were unable to protect the child, hardly your fault. Anyone could have taken him." The man looked intently at Makita. "A boy with his looks will never be safe. With me, he will always be handled with gentleness and love. I will give him anything he wants, and protect him from the world."

Makita looked at his shoes, didn't respond when he was nudged. Ogasawara cleared his throat.

"Can we have a little time to consider it?"

"Certainly. I would not do it until after the show's run, anyway, as I plan to attend several more times. As an investor in the production, it will not seem strange if I am observed in the audience. I will not sit where the child can see me, so I won't distract him."

Makita was completely unwilling, and further disturbed to hear Haneda consistently refer to Kyousuke as a child. Before he could say anything, the suits returned with a bathed and towel-dried Kyousuke, the boy seeming half-awake. They settled him on the bed, but Haneda himself retrieved the clothes.

"I will dress him."

He did so slowly, reverently, stroking each limb before covering it. Haneda took his time as though savoring this simple task, and when it was done, he kissed the boy's forehead, nose, eyelids, cheeks, and finally mouth.

"I hope I'll see you again soon, Kyousuke-kun. Ssh, don't cry. Your friends are going to take you back now, and after some sleep, you'll feel good as new. I love you."

Makita quickly lifted the boy off the bed, wrapped an arm around his own shoulders, and Ogasawara supported him from the other side. The boy's head drooped, and they knew anyone who observed them would think the middle boy was merely drunk. Half-awake, Kyousuke stared at the floor, and when Makita whispered "I'm sorry, MaoMao" into his ear, the only acknowledgment he got was a sniffle.

Ogasawara said nothing as they quietly left the hotel and began the short walk home. Makita hoped he was feeling guilty, but actually, the elder was replaying the rape over and over in his head, imagining himself in Haneda's place, and wondered if Kyousuke truly would be easy prey now, though he didn't want the boy to be _too_ broken. It would mess up his plans if Kyousuke didn' recover and went back home, quit the musical.

Makita's heart pounded as they went in their hotel's back entry, got to the right floor, and opened the door with Kyousuke's card key. They settled Kyousuke on one of the beds, and Ogasawara whispered, "Do you think we should undress him?"

"You think he could handle that now?" Makita replied, surprising him. The elder had never heard Makita so coldly angry.

Lucky for them both, the boy had fallen asleep. They very gently stripped Kyousuke down to his undershirt and underwear and shifted him so his head was on the pillow, and put a light blanket over him. Ogasawara stared at the boy while Makita set a bottle of water on the bedside table in case Kyouske couldn't get up right away. He turned off the lights but switched on the small lamp in case the boy woke up frightened in the dark.

When Makita could think of no more to do for Kyousuke, he turned to Ogasawara and looked at him with a tight, tense expression. "You can't possibly be considering..."

"For sx hundred million yen? Hell yes, I am. I'm sure we could get more if we haggle."

"You...you really don't feel bad about what we just did?"

"Maki, he might think it was all a dream. Haneda treated him better than anyone else would have. He's right, MaoMao _will_ get raped if he's not protected. Haneda can give him safety, and more than that, the luxurious life of an adored sex toy. You saw Haneda with him, he's not gonna hurt him."

"He cried through the whole thing, Oga. You saw him."

"I saw a very innocent boy cry because he was dealing with the stress of his first time. I cried a little during my first, it hurt and it was embarrassing, but had he been a rich man who wanted me to be his pet, you think I'd be _here_?"

"We're not doing it."

"I didn't ask your permission, Maki."

Ogasawara left without another word. Makita dared not linger. He gave one last look of pain to Kyousuke, and hurried quietly back to his room.

 **To be continued.**


	8. Chapter 8

_Well, I accomplished my usual goal - I scared people away. If you're still reading, I promise that the last chapter was as bad as it gets. Should be just comfort from here on out. I'll understand if you don't read further, but I hope you do. Thank you to those of you who left nice reviews; they mean a lot to me._

 **HATSUKOI**  
 **Chapter 8**

The light pouring through the glass was eerie, too perfectly, nostalgically soft; that's how Daisuke knew it was a dream. He might have known anyway from the familiar/unfamiliar clothes they were wearing, school uniforms of a pale blue jacket over black pants. Kyousuke was standing at a half-open window, glowing even more than usual as the rays fell lovingly over him. Daisuke wanted to watch him like this forever, but the breeze was cold.

"Shouldn't you close it? The north wind holds a chill."

The boy beamed a gentle smile. "You're right. I will."

He did so, and Daisuke started toward him, but after a single step he was pulled back by a voice, a banging on the door. Daisuke shot up in his bed and unsteadily got onto his feet and stumbled to the door. When he opened it, he awoke fully at once. Yuya was standing before him in a panic.

"Talk slower, what is it? Is Mao-kun all right?"

"No, he won't let me touch him, I think he had a nightmare but it's like he's still trapped in it, he's so scared and I don't know of what..."

Yuya was now following Daisuke down the hallway, hurrying to keep pace with him. The elder flew into his kouhais' room and his heart turned to ice. Kyousuke was sitting up against the headboard, unnaturally still, arms awkwardly draped against his sides with the palms facing upward and the fingers curled toward the ceiling. He was staring into space blankly, looknig pale, somehow looking cold. Daisuke took slow steps in his direction, like a man crawling through quicksand.

"He's not calm like this when I get close, just curls up in a ball and cries, he thrashed me off when I tried to hold him."

"Mao-kun? It's me, Dai-chan. Are you okay, kid?"

Now that he was close enough, Daisuke could see the boy was trembling. He slowly inched nearer until he was sitting on the edge of the bed. Kyousuke seemed to be staring past him with reddened and drenched eyes.

"Baby?" Kyousuke flinched, and Daisuke put up his hands. "It's just me, nothing to be scared of. Did you have a bad dream?"

Kyousuke answered him with several confused blinks.

"Does anything hurt?"

The boy shook his head, though it was plain he had suffered in some way.

"Did something bad happen?" Another blink; this time it seemed done to hold back tears. "Can you talk to me? Can you tell me how I can help?"

A thought cut through the forced calm holding back chaos in Kyousuke's mind. _Dai-chan. I wanted...want..._

"Mao-kun, tell me what I can do."

Slowly, heavily, Kyousuke lifted one arm and extended it out toward Daisuke. Nearly as sluggishly, the elder met the hand with his own, cradled it and caressed it with his thumb. He looked at the beautiful, bewildered face affectionately, feeling certain Kyousuke was trying to ask for something. Kyousuke let go of the hand, clumsily reached further, leaning, and weakly grabbed at the cloth covering Daisuke's shoulder. The boy was terrified, yet was screaming out for a safe touch.

Daisuke edged further up the mattress, very slowly, so Kyousuke could see his hands, placed them on the boy's upper arms. The bare part of the skin felt cool, and Daisuke gently rubbed the flesh to try to put warmth back into it. Kyousuke's head nodded as though in sleep, he closed his eyes and shuddered, but did not pull away. And when arms gently closed around him and pulled him to the man's chest, Kyousuke shakily put his arms around Daisuke's torso, hid his face in the pajama shirt, and began to weep.

"H-He wouldn't let me even..." Yuya let that go. "Buchou, what the hell is wrong with him?"

"You weren't here last night, all night?"

"Right," Yuya said guiltily. "I only got back just before I came to you. I found him awake, tried to hold and kiss him, and he freaked out, and..."

"Yuya, it doesn't necessarily mean anything that he's letting me and not you."

"It does," the younger said softly. "I think it does. I don't think I can let him go without a fight, though."

"No fighting," Daisuke said quietly as he stroked the boy's hair and back. "Mao-kun dislikes that, I think, more than anything. We play fair, play honorably, and let him choose. You and I want one thing, the same thing, above all else."

"MaoMao to be happy."

"Exactly."

"Do you love him as much as I do?" Yuya asked without anger.

"How can I answer truthfully and yet say what's proper? You're younger than I am, and I accused you of trying to molest an underage boy. I'm sorry for that." _You're the better choice._

Yuya looked sadly at Kyousuke. "You just understand now. Who _wouldn't_ want him?"

Kyousuke let out a soft sob from his burrow in Daisuke's shirt. Yuya took a chance, slipped an arm around Kyousuke to rub his lower back. All were relieved when Kyousuke didn't pull away.

"Honey," Yuya attempted, "please tell us what happened."

Kyousuke shook his head.

Daisuke sighed. "I have his pediatrician's phone number. I guess I should see if he'll make a house-call."

"N-No..."

"Mao-kun?"

"N-No doctor, don't want anyone to know, not Mom and Dad, n-not Aniki, p-please..."

"Mao-kun, calm down and breathe, okay? I'm sorry, but we don't know if and how you've been hurt and we need to know what's wrong so we know how to take care of you."

"'M fine, just, c-can I stay like this a little while, please?"

Yuya closed his eyes, holding back tears.

"Baby, I'll hold you as long as you want me to, but I still need to know what happened."

Kyousuke whimpered, trying to press himself even further into the body enfolding him.

Daisuke thought quickly. "Baby, just nod yes or no. Okay?"

"D-Don't do anything. P-Promise."

"I'll only do what I absolutely have to. Did you leave the room by yourself last night?"

Shake of the head.

"Did someone come to the room?"

Nod.

"Just one?"

Shake.

"Two?"

Nod.

"Did they take you somewhere?"

Yes.

"Is that where you got hurt?"

Yes.

"The ones who took you out hurt you?"

No.

"Someone else?"

Nod.

"Do you know the ones who took you?"

No.

"Kid, you went out with people you don't know?"

"I don't know. I-I can't remember."

"You can't remember?"

"No, they're blurry. I thought it was a dream, except..."

"Except what?"

Kyousuke didn't say anything. Daisuke backtracked.

"What about who hurt you? Do you remember?"

"A m-man."

Daisuke shut his eyes in defeat. _I failed. The worst has happened. I failed Mao-kun, his family, everyone._ As if sensing his protector's sadness, Kyousuke hugged him tighter. _He's so sweet. How could someone hurt him?_

Yuya was looking at the wall with barely-concealed rage and clenched fists. "Do you remember, MaoMao? The guy who attacked you?"

"B-Blurry."

"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?"

The boy's breathing sped up. "I d-don't want to see, please..."

"It's okay, Mao-kun," Daisuke soothed. "You're safe now."

 _Safe. With Dai-chan, safe._

"Are you in any pain?"

"Uh-uh. I think they...gave me something. I felt light and far away."

"What the hell kind of rapist gives his victim a painkiller?" Yuya softly asked Daisuke.

Kyousuke held back another bout of tears. He absently was soothed by the smell of the pajama shirt hiding his face. Daisuke lifted Kyousuke onto his lap, and mouthed to Yuya, "Check for blood." The younger did, and shook his head.

"Mao-kun, you're clean, did you shower afterwards?"

"No...but I think I remember...someone washing me."

"No evidence, then," Yuya sighed.

"Mao-kun," Daisuke said heavily, "the last thing we want to do is hurt you any more. What do you want to do?"

"I don't want anyone to know."

"Leaving things as they are, you not remembering who was involved in this, is dangerous. What if they try it again?"

A flash went through Kyousuke's mind,a sad blurry face and a whispered apology. "My parents and Aniki would make me go home. Please, they can't know."

"Yuya, can you call Sensei's cell? Tell him Mao-kun caught whatever Shogo had."

"I'll tell Sensei I need to stay with him. I don't want him left alone till we know who did this."

As Yuya went to the other side of the room, Kyousuke felt guilty. Yuya had seemingly forgot their quarrel, was back to being the world's most loving boyfriend. And yet, the only thing keeping Kyousuke calm was Daisuke's close proximity. This was safety, this was happiness. This was being loved, though what kind of love, he wasn't sure.

Daisuke didn't say anything till Yuya returned and nodded. "Mao-kun, would you be all right with the production doctor taking a look at you?"

"No, no one can know." Kyousuke shivered, and Daisuke grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around him. "Please, Dai-chan. Nothing hurts, I'm okay."

The eldest sighed. "If I look away, will you let Yuya...take a look? To make sure you're not bleeding?"

"Please don't let go."

"How about I hold your hand?"

It was embarrasing, but Kyousuke concentrated on the grip of Daisuke's fingers as he got on his elbows and knees and let Yuya gently draw his underwear down. The concerned boyfriend soothingly patted his sides before fixing the undergarment.

"He looks okay. A little bit red, no blood, no wound I can see."

"Nothing hurts," Kyousuke repeated, and surprising both of them, he scrambled right back onto Daisuke's lap. The man was touched.

 _He must really trust me, to accept such a close touch after he was..._

Daisuke sighed again, and again, Kyousuke squeezed him. Daisuke looked at Yuya, winced at his obvious sadness. "I'm so sorry," the elder mouthed.

Yuya answered just as quietly. "I know. But I'm not giving up."

"I know."

 _When did I decide to go after Mao-kun? Did I? I don't want to fight, it could upset him. I can only hope he chooses me...if he can bear to be with anyone._

"Mao-kun, we're going to try to figure out who did this to you. Until then, I want you to stay close to Yuya and I, okay? I hate to say it, but we have to suspect everyone."

"And tell us immediately," Yuya added, "the second you remember anything."

"...I'm sorry."

"What for, honey?"

"Causing trouble."

"You could never be trouble to us, Mao-kun," Daisuke said, tenderly stroking the boy's hair. He laughed lightly. "I kind of like you squeezing me like a squid."

"S-Sorry."

"I was being serious, Mao-kun. You're comfortable."

"You too."

"Yuya, you want a turn being squeezed?"

Yuya smiled and stepped closer, but the expression faded quickly. Kyousuke was not letting go of Daisuke, and he detested himself for being selfish and hurting his boyfriend, but he couldn't give up this small peace, not now that the world had become unsafe. Yuya and Daisuke shared a look of hurt and sympathy before the latter began to pet his charge again.

"You want to stay with me, kid?"

"S-Sorry, I just, just can't..."

"It's okay. Look, I'll make you a deal. If you let me go long enough to go change, order breakfast and call Sensei, I'll come back and stay with you myself. And you can cling to me all you want."

The boy sat back enough to smile at him with relief. The light of it was muted, a ghost of itself.

"Really? You will?"

"I promise."

Once released, Daisuke patted Yuya's shoulder on the way out. Yuya tried to look positive, though his voice sounded weaker.

"Hey, MaoMao."

"Hi."

"Can I..."

It was heartening how quickly Kyousuke nodded. He took Daisuke's place and gathered his young lover into a hug. Kyousuke didn't seem to take much comfort from it, but he rubbed his face against the offered shoulder. He even hummed softly when Yuya kissed behind his ear. The elder rocked gently to try to ease the shaking that had begun again.

"You sure you're okay?"

"Uh-huh."

"I'm sorry I left yesterday."

"Don't feel bad. I shouldn't have...it was stupid."

"It must have been people you trusted."

"Yeah..."

"You really don't remember? If you do..."

"I don't. I'm s-sorry."

"Don't be. I'm sure it'll come back to you."

 _I don't want it to._ The idea that someone he knew had done this to him was almost the worst thing. Of the actual rape, he remembered more, though it was all jumbled in his head, like chunks of film badly edited. He hoped he would never remember more.

Daisuke came back, having clearly rushed; he was adjusting his rumpled clothes as he shut the door behind him.

"Sensei says he wants us all to start taking more vitamins, stat," he laughed. "But we're good. Yuya, sorry, I'm afraid they'll at least need you."

"It's okay," the boy lied with a fake smile. "Just take care of him, please."

"I promise."

Feeling bad, Kyousuke bravely allowed a kiss before Yuya let go and let his senpai sit down. Kyousuke immediately grabbed his arm and clutched it. Daisuke smiled indulgently.

"Back to squid-mode. Don't worry, I meant it when I said I don't mind."

"And you don't mind staying? I don't think I'll be much fun."

"I'm not expecting you to entertain me, kid. But...are you sure you don't want your parents? Your brother?"

The boy immediately shook his head. "They'll make me leave. I don't want to leave."

"I don't know if I like doing nothing. The ones who set you up are probably still around."

"I'll be more careful."

"Still...I don't think you should be left alone. Yuya and I will have to be hovering over you if you really don't want to do anything."

"...that's okay." Kyousuke found he actually liked the thought of Daisuke always being with him.

For his part, Daisuke didn't mind much either, as he was truly (and guiltily) enjoying the boy touching him. But he worried. The criminals were out there and he didn't know who any of them were. _How can I stop them, then?_

"Don't be sad, Buchou."

"I'm not. I just look somber when I think."

"What were you thinking?"

"I was remembering the original 'Gojira' is on today. Want to watch?"

"Yeah! I've actually never seen it, but Aniki loves it."

Their breakfast came just as the movie was about to start. Kyousuke was not remotely interested in food, so Daisuke sternly told him he'd withhold touch unless the plate was cleaned. As Kyousuke with difficulty forced the rice and vegetables down, Daisuke realized with trepidation how important he had become to the kid.

He should have felt sadness for this. He couldn't bring himself to.

 _daimaodaimao_

Daisuke distracted Kyousuke with games and movies most of the day, occasionally pausing to make him eat. Nothing was said of the traumatic event, except that the boy was frequently asked if he was okay, to which he always replied he was. When he started to look tired, Daisuke urged him to send Shinnosuke a quick obligatory email. Kyousuke did, and when he returned to the bed, he snuggled into Daisuke's embrace.

"Buchou? You really...don't mind?"

"Nah, I like holding you."

"Why?"

Mercifully, the teenager dropped off against the offered shoulder before Daisuke had to come up with an answer. He didn't speak until the boy's breathing had been soft and regular a while.

"Why? Because I love you. It's inappropriate and illegal and the last thing you need. But it's there, and all I can do is hold it back and try to just be the big brother I should have been. Yuya loves you, and maybe you can love him, if you can bear an intimate touch again. I'll be your niisan and protector. I had hoped...but you can't handle a grown man's intimate touch. I love you. I think I always will. But you can't know how much."

It was comfortable to be wrapped around Kyousuke, to have in his arms a warm bundle of limbs and silken hair tucked under his chin. Daisuke reluctantly settled him down on a pillow, and smiled when the boy groped for and clutched his hand. The elder watched TV quietly, then switched it off when Yuya came in.

"Hey. How is he?"

"Hard to tell. Clingy. I don't know whether it's really hit him yet."

Yuya sat down and stroked his boyfriend's hair. "Will he be okay? In the long run?"

"I think so. He's strong. And a lot of people go through traumas like he did, all over the world." Daisuke smiled tightly. "There is life after this once you get through. We just have to convince him of that."

"Buchou...I think we ought to switch rooms."

Daisuke looked at him seriously. "He's still your boyfriend, Yuya."

"He needs time to decide if he still wants to be. Besides, I don't know how to take care of him."

"I'm new to this too."

"He wants you. That means you're doing _something_ right."

"You're sure about this?"

"I love him. I want him to feel safe. If you'll excuse me, I'm gonna pack up and move my stuff before this turns into a scene from a 'Twilight' movie."

"Guess that makes me Jacob," Daisuke laughed softly to his sleeping charge. "The one who had to step aside."

 **To be continued.**


	9. Chapter 9

_A Christmas update for you! Happy Holidays!_

 _I know, it's been forever, I just haven't been happy or motivated enough to write, but I'm trying to get my mojo back._

 _Warning - this chapter contains somewhat intense consensual sexual situations. I'm guessing that's not a problem for you guys. :) Thank you to those of you who stuck with me (especially reviewers) through some serious darkness. Hurt accomplished, now let's have a ton of comfort. Yay!_

 _Disclaimer - I own no real people, except my muses, and when I want their opinion, I just rattle their chains._

 **HATSUKOI**  
 **Chapter 9**

Daisuke, being protective, would have liked to give Kyousuke more time to recover. But show preparations had to go on, as opening night approached, and the director needed all his stars. Kyousuke too seemed bravely willing to get back to work, feeling stronger when Daisuke was with him. The elder had moved all his things into the boy's room, and was in no hurry to stop hovering.

Others were watching Kyousuke with concern too. His castmates expressed worry for him and asked how he was feeling, and Kyousuke weakly smiled and said it must have been been a 24-hour bug. He privately wondered if Makita had a real illness; he looked terribly pale, was wearing a mask, and seemed to be avoiding everyone, even Ogasawara. The latter was friendlier, smiling with relief when the boy pleasantly said hello to him.

As Yuya and Kyousuke practiced their Golden Pair moves, Tomo managed to get Daisuke alone. "The baby okay?"

"I think so."

"And you're rooming with him now."

"Yes."

"Are you, as Americans say, hitting that?"

"No," Daisuke sighed.

"Clearly something happened. What?"

"I can't tell you. Don't look so hurt, Tomo. It's not that I don't trust you. It's just that Mao-kun doesn't want anyone to know."

The sarcastic boy looked genuinely concerned. "Was he hurt?"

"All I can say is that he's in a very delicate state right now, and he needs me to stay close to him in order to feel safe."

The look on Tomo's face made it plain he'd guessed the truth, or close to it. "We know who hurt him?"

"No. One reason I need to watch him."

"God. He's jsut a kid. No, he's a kid-sized baby who's just now getting an experience of the world."

"A really bad one."

"Bad as in there's no hope for you?"

"I don't know. I don't know if he could ever handle that. I'm just a safe person for him now. I don't mind," the man said quickly. "I feel happier than I should since he wants me close all the time. It's just..."

"It's like being on a diet and getting locked in a bakery."

"Yeah."

"What about Yuya?"

"He's being surprisingly understanding about this triangle we've become. He knows he's being pushed aside and says he won't go without a fight, but he's accepted that Mao-kun needs me."

"Well, it was always a matter of time. Chemistry always wins, even over the best of intentions."

Daisuke sighed. "I feel so fucking awful for him. He's in love, and his boyfriend would rather be touched by me."

"He wants MaoMao to be okay, as we all do. Is there any way I can help?"

"Don't treat him differently, and if you see anyone behaving oddly with him or trying to get him alone, tell me."

"You think it was one of the cast?"

"It had to be someone he trusted. Cast or crew, I'm guessing."

Tomo hmphed. "No shortage of people who stare at him, that's for sure."

"I fucking hate it. He's so innocent."

"We'll protect him, Dai-chan. He's our baby, all of ours. He's just a little more yours."

 _But not as much as I want him to be. Never will be._

 _daimaodaimaodaimao_

Yuya and Daisuke seemed to be taking part in an unwritten joint custody agreement, one of them always with Kyousuke, even when he needed the bathroom. With Taka doing his own hovering over Shogo, no one seemed to find it odd. And Kyousuke, for his part, kept up a brave front, knowing his lines and dutifully practicing his dance moves. He continued to pick things up quickly, to do his homework, to email his brother, to be his usual sweet self, and even to occasionally kiss Yuya, knowing their relationship was in limbo but not wanting anyone to know that.

Behind the closed door of his hotel room, though, the walls crumbled with heartbreaking regularity. It was now a regular routine for him to break down in tears and cling to Daisuke, who never tired of holding him and chastely kissing his precious charge, promising him he'd be okay. And though no more memories came back, the boy could sometimes be convinced to tell what he did remember. Daisuke had never hated anyone like he did the monster who had raped the boy in such a fake-loving way. It further reinforced his belief that Kyousuke might never be able to have consensual sex, not after that.

"Honey," the elder asked the boy on his lap one night, "it was your first time, wasn't it?" He knew the answer, but the question came out anyway.

"Uh-huh."

"I swear to you, it's nothing like that when it's consensual. If you ever want to have sex, it will be completely different."

"Do you think I'll be able to?"

 _Someday, possibly._ "Sure. But it doesn't have to be anytime soon. You have a lot of healing to do. I wish you'd let me find you a therapist."

Kyousuke's head, buried in Daisuke's shirt, shook. "He would have to report it and tell my parents, because of my age."

"You really don't want them to help you with this?"

"They'd drag me home, I don't want to go home." _I can't be away from you._ "Anyway, the distraction here is good for me. At home, I'd just hide alone and cry."

Daisuke lovingly stroked his pretty hair. "It's okay to cry, baby."

"Buchou, if I...get to be too much for you...it's okay if you - "

"Mao-kun, I will be here as long as you need me and longer. You're not too much, you mean more to me than you'll ever know."

"Why?"

"I don't know. You're special. Easy to love."

 _I love you. Yours is the only touch I want._ "Like a brother?"

A meaningful pause. "I know you're everyone's kid brother here, but you're especially mine. You could charm anyone and you've certainly charmed me."

"You love me?"

"Yes."

"I love you too," the teenager whispered, and brushed his lips over a warm neck.

It happened sometimes, on both their parts, touches that were just beyond chaste. Aside from privately loving them, Daisuke rationalized that the damaged boy was re-learning how to give and accept intimacy. The man wasn't sure it was right, but if it made the boy feel better, that was all that mattered.

Now Kyousuke was cutely rubbing his nose over the skin, which tickled and made Daisuke laugh his endearing high-pitched giggle. That made the boy laugh too, and emboldened him to switch to kisses. Daisuke shivered a bit, held him close, nuzzled the soft hair. He rubbed up and down the boy's hip, and in an effort not to get hard, tried not to imagine what the beautiful boy looked like naked.

They rarely discussed Yuya, except casually. Technically, Daisuke assumed the couple was still together, just because neither had said otherwise. Yuya and Kyousuke still kissed sometimes, hugged, held hands. But Daisuke was clearly the preferred one for comfort and touch. He felt bad for Yuya, and bad for loving his new role. But the moments he was physically with Kyousuke were his best.

Daisuke nudged the boy's head up to kiss his forehead, and Kyousuke sighed happily, so Daisuke indulged himself by doing the same to the nose, cheeks, and closed eyelids. It was like putting his lips to something solid wrapped in satin, and made the boy further relax.

"Dai-chan?"

"Yeah, baby?"

"Would you..."

"What, honey?"

"Kiss me?"

A flash of want-worry-guilt rushed through the man. "I was, wasn't I?" he said lightly.

The boy looked sad, and it stabbed the caretaker's heart. "I'm sorry, if you don't want to..."

They hadn't talked about the want and chemistry between them, the thread binding them that everyone they knew saw. Daisuke did not believe the kid ready for anything too intimate, but didn't want to make him feel unwanted, or so soiled that no one would want him. Kyousuke was terrified by the thought of sex, but he knew he wanted more from Daisuke than comfort, and had a sense the man may want him too. He'd heard a little of Daisuke and Yuya's conversation. Enough to be brave enough to finally ask.

"Baby, to be honest, I do want to. But I don't know if I could do that to Yuya."

 _He does want to!_ "What if...we broke up?"

"Is that what you want to do?"

"I don't want to hurt him," Kyousuke whispered, "but I don't think I want him. I think I always wanted you."

"Do you love him?"

"I think...not that way."

"Honey, you're, well, fragile right now. It's not a good time to make big decisions, and I don't thnk you're ready for more touching than this. I'm supposed to be a safe person for you."

"You do make me feel safe. Is that wrong?"

"No, baby, no. I'm glad I do. But I don't know if it would be good for you to be...handled too intimately. You need to be taken care of right now, not pushed into anything remotely close to sex."

"You're not pushing." Kyousuke gently touched Daisuke's cheek. "I'm asking. I feel like if you don't, I might cry and never stop. I'm sorry, I don't mean to guilt - "

Daisuke cut him off by pressing his lips to the kid's, putting into action all the love and affection he could. He guided the baby-soft mouth to move with his own, relaxing when Kyousuke did and melted into the kiss. Having come this far, he tentatively opened his mouth, ready to stop at a second's notice, but the teenager eagerly sought out his tongue and licked at it. Cradling the smaller body, Daisuke gently tasted and explored the clean-water taste of Kyousuke's mouth. One arm held him close, the other cupped his face and stroked the silken cheek.

It was a slow kiss, so it was a long time before they had to separate for air and exchange shy smiles. It was then that Daisuke relaized he had a...problem, and softly cursed.

"Honey, I need the bathroom, I'll be right back."

The boy knew what he meant, and softly asked, " Can you do it here?"

"You want to...watch?"

"Is that weird?"

"No," Daisuke hastily assured. "I just didn't think you'd want to."

"I just...want something nice to think of." Something sexual and not horrifying, was what he clearly meant.

"Are you sure? Well, okay. But tell me if it's too much."

Daisuke grabbed a fistful of tissues, unzipped his jeans, and edged back enough not to get any on his observer. He stroked in a business-like manner, wanting it over with, but he did enjoy it, because he was watching Kyousuke watching him, angelic beauty and obvious interest. It took a few minutes before he shot his load into the tissues, and when he leaned over to throw the soiled paper away, Kyousuke, seemingly after a split-second decision, lunged forward.

Before Daisuke could react, a pair of lips was around the sticky head, and Kyousuke was gently sucking his almost-spent cock. Maybe fearing he'd be pushed off, the boy locked his arms around his senpai's waist, resting his head on a denim-covered thigh and slowly drawing out the semen that was left.

Daisuke was shocked, too dazed and pleasured to do more than massage the boy's shoulders and pet his hair. Clearly this was comforting for Kyousuke, and Daisuke could hardly deny how good it felt, the inexperienced mouth sucking even after the last bit of come had been drained from his testicles. Even after, even knowing he couldn't go again even while being stimulated like this, not yet. He could feel the distension of Kyousuke's cheek from the head of his cock, and finally had to gently lift the boy off, lest he harden again and give Kyousuke more than he could deal with.

He brought the boy to his chest, enfolding him protectively and kissing all over his neck and jaw before moving to the lips. Kyousuke's clean taste mixed with his own semen was delicious, and Daisuke kissed him long and deeply to get as much of it as possible. Kyousuke lost his breath first and let his head loll as he inhaled, which gave Daisuke the chance to feverishly kiss him all over, hands moving both to hold and to explore the slight frame.

Hardly thinking, Daisuke pushed the boy's shirt up and caressed the tight little stomach. Kyousuke, rather than being afraid, jutted his hips forward for more contact. Daisuke slithered down and began to kiss the pale skin and lave it with his tongue. He moaned against it, reveled in its warmth and beauty, and Kyousuke encouraged him by moaning and threading his fingers into the slightly rough dyed hair. So spurred on, Daisuke reached up, finally pausing before touching the nipples. He half-expected the boy to finally want to stop here, and Kyousuke did whimper, but then murmured, "Don't stop."

"This is really okay?" _You're not afraid? How can you not be?_

"I want...good...please..."

Daisuke understood; I want a better experience of being touched like this. Healthy or no, it was what Kyousuke wanted. Daisuke gently thumbed the little pink buds, prompting a pleasured "Mmm." He circled and rubbed them for several long breaths, then worked up to kneading the enticing flat breasts. Daisuke had only a little erotic experience with male bodies, from his university days, but it didn't feel odd to have no great handfuls of flesh here. It was simply a perfect body he was exploring, flawless all over, warm and responsive, crowned with an angel's face that now held a very faint blush.

Kyousuke blinked dazedly, just as surprised as the elder by his lack of fear. Being pet by his castmates and kissed by Yuya reminded him faintly of his rapist, but Daisuke's touching was the exact opposite of that fear, the safest and most loved he'd ever felt. He felt certain now that he loved this man, much as he didn't want to hurt Yuya, and he knew Daisuke, though hesitant, loved him too.

"H-He did this..."

"Baby, then - "

"Nnn, no, more, please?"

He was too shy and embarrassed to ask for what he wanted, still unsure too why it felt good when Yuya did it, but Daisuke understood. He brushed his lips over a nipple, circled it with his tongue until it glistened, then after too many agonizing seconds latched onto it with his lips. Again, Daisuke had really only done this with women, but this was far better, being able to engulf the whole breast though he concentrated his efforts on the protruding part, sucking gently.

"Oh God," Kyousuke moaned, head falling back, "yes, _yes_..."

Daisuke stroked the bared sides, and paused this only to carefully pull the T-shirt over Kyousuke's head. With one hand he again kneaded the other breast, and tongued the one mercilessly, ready to stop any time but hoping for time to get it hard. That wasn't happening, he concluded after a while, but it was enough that his kouhai was enjoying this. After a long time he swapped the mouth and hand's places.

"Mmm, Dai-chan..."

He paused just a moment. "Okay, baby?"

The English endearment always made him want to cry with happiness. "D-Don't stop."

"God, you taste so good."

He took just as long with the second nipple. It didn't firm up, but eventually Kyousuke, now trembling, took Daisuke's hand and placed it on his clothed crotch.

He was hard, for the first time since he'd been violated, and when Daisuke edged up to look at him, the boy was a little afraid, not of Daisuke, but of this arousal once used against him. Haneda hadn't gotten him hard, but God, he had gotten close.

 _"Pretty little baby boy."_

"Mao-kun." Daisuke cupped the pink cheeks. "Look at me."

He hadn't realized his eyes were closed. He did look, and found warm eyes gazing at him with adoration and worry.

"S-Sorry."

"Do you want me to stop?"

"Uh-uh."

"You want me to take care of you? Tell me how. Do you want to look at me while I do it?"

The boy nodded. Daisuke unzipped the jeans, gently took him out and began to stroke. It felt good, this slow motion by a hand he actually wanted. With the free hand, Daisuke wandered all over the body, caressing and petting to give comfort, eliciting warmth and relaxation everywhere the fingers went. And even though the jerking off was being done slowly, it surprised Daisuke that he wasn't coming yet. The boy's moans made it clear it felt good to him.

 _If he feels good, I'm happy to do this forever._ But it was concerning. Had the rape made it this much harder for the kid to climax? Daisuke swallowed a flash of rage and kept up a gentle smile, touches full of love. Kyousuke wiggled restlessly, moving as though deep in an erotic dream. After a long time...

"D-Dai-chan?"

 _Don't be giving up._ "Honey?"

"P-Please...m-mouth."

He could hardly pretend he wasn't craving the small organ in his hand. Pausing only to kiss his pink lips, Daisuke slid down agan, took a slurping lick of the damp head, and engulfed the sweet cock with his mouth. He made his sucking very gentle, thinking it no bad thing to make Kyousuke feel good and wanted for as long as possible. He kept touching all over, even daring to squeeze the firm buttocks.

"Nnn, nnn...feels so good..."

Turned on himself, Daisuke wanted so badly to slide wet fingers into him, to pleasure him to the point of screaming, to breach the little body himself and wipe away every split-second memory of pain. But he would never attempt such a thing until Kyousuke wanted it, and would be wary and hesitant even then. For now, the boy needed to push past memory or whatever else was keeping him from climaxing.

Daisuke tried fingering the tight little testicles, high and heavy against the trembling body. He rolled them in his hands a while, then decided to focus on the shaft. The elder actor worked it and sucked a bit harder, encouraged by moans that got louder and louder. Finally, Kyousuke half-yelled and began to spurt, albeit in more of a slow trickle. Daisuke drew it out and swallowed the salty cream, patiently drinking it down and reassuring the orgasming boy with comforting touches all over.

He had never seen anyone, male or female, climax for such a long time, and wondered if it was because Kyouske had been holding himself back in fear since the attack. _He's going to be exhausted_ , but Kyousuke's pleasure was all that mattered. Daisuke tried sucking a little harder, and managed to coax out thicker ropes of semen, but was still quite shocked at how long it was lasting.

At length, it dwindled to a trickle again, and the boy's breathing began to slow. After tonguing up the last few drops, Daisuke kissed his way up to share the taste with a willing mouth. Kyousuke snuggled tiredly into him, and the elder was ridiculously happy and hoping to hold him for hours, but almost immediately, the boy was moving downwards and almost tearing at Daisuke's zipper.

"Honey...you don't need - "

Need? But he did feel he needed it, wanted the comforting taste again. Kyousuke knew it would be hard and it was, and he swallowed and sucked on it with none of his lover's patience. Daisuke shot his load faster and much harder than intended, but Kyousuke wouldn't let him pull out, instead greedily drank it down. Only afterward did he let himself be drawn back upward and held.

Both spent, the couple nuzzled against one another and sighed in the afterglow. But both sensed the other was troubled.

"I'm going to hurt Yuya, aren't I?"

"If anyone finds out what I feel for you..."

As they embraced, it was impossible to tell which of them was comforting the other more.

 **To be continued. Thank you for your patience, I will try to update more often.**


	10. Chapter 10

_New year, new chapter. I hope you all enjoy, and please forgive the infrequent updates. I have to be in a certain mood to write and it's kind of rare._

 _Warnings - intimate sexual situations involving real people. This is a work of fiction and is not intended to represent the people herein._

 _Thank you for reading and reviewing, as always!_

 **HATSUKOI**  
 **Chapter 10**

The day of opening night, the tension of the cast and crew hung in the air like a weighty mist. Shogo's usual bravado was subdued, and after the boy missed a step twice in a row, he actually shocked everyone and burst into tears. Taka hastily excused them and pulled the kid behind several rows of curtains.

"Baby, breathe. Talk to me."

"Th-That step..."

"You hardly ever miss a step, it's no big deal."

"But twice! In a row!"

Taka put his arms around the 14-year-old and made hushing noises. "Kid, we're all flustered. You know how it is. We stumble in rehearsal, but when it counts, when the lights are on us and we're focused, everything falls into place."

"But I _don't_ miss steps," Shogo pouted.

"Well, it's your turn then."

"I've had opening nights before. I shouldn't be nervous."

"Why not? I'm nervous before every performance. And admittedly, the stakes are high. A lot is expected of us."

"No pressure, right?"

"Unfortunately, a lot of pressure," Taka laughed. "But you know the songs, you know the dances and swings and all your marks. I've been watching you, you know."

"Like, in a pervy way?"

That was the Shogo he knew and loved. "I meant during rehearsal. Don't pout. I also watch you for selfish reasons."

"Which are?"

"That I love you and you're gorgeous."

Shogo sighed, and let his head rest against Taka's shoulder. "I love you. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize for being you. Just lean on me."

"I am."

Another laugh. "Yes, and I enjoy that, but I meant figuratively. If you need to vent, talk, cry, I'm here."

"I'm doing better now that we're roomed together. But I wish we could sleep in the same bed."

"I know, baby. But if there was an emergency and someone came in...remember, Sensei and Masuda have master key-cards. You're underage and I'd like to avoid prison."

"We could say I had a nightmare or something."

"Yeah, but your nudity would be harder to explain."

Shogo shrugged. "Maybe I sleep naked."

"Nice try. It's only when we sleep, baby. Every other moment we're in that room, you're either under me or on my lap."

"Taka?"

"Hmm?"

"When can we do it?"

"I told you. If you still want me on your 18th birthday, I'll pound you into a mattress of your choice." Taka kept his voice light, hiding the wistfulness he felt that was so apparent in Shogo's face.

"Four years."

"I know, kid. But we do other stuff, don't we?"

They did, touching each other all over, kissing, sucking each other, and just as importantly, talking intimately. Shogo was reluctant to detail what had happened with Nobu, because it made his boyfriend so angry, but as Taka had requested, Shogo explained as best he could, relieved to be assured again that Taka didn't think less of him for no longer being a virgin. The elder had even said it didn't really count, because it had not been completed. It seemed every time Taka said something kind, Shogo found himself a little more besotted.

"Ready to go back?"

"Don't want to...but I guess we should."

They held hands on the way out of the maze of curtains, as long as they could.

 _daimaodaimao_

Kyousuke was nervous when Yuya gestured him to one of the dressing rooms during a dance rehearsal break. The elder looked serious, but then, he always did, and nothing had very recently changed. Yuya could, of course, have finally decided he didn't want to keep up this charade of a relationship anymore, but Kyousuke knew he wouldn't blame him. He expected it every day.

But Yuya smiled once they were alone. "I just wanted to see how you are, and wish you good luck tonight."

"I'm okay. Are...you?"

"Baby, please don't be so anxious. You're not doing anything wrong."

"I'm hurting you."

"You're not. I admit, the situation is not ideal," Yuya forced-laughed, "but that's not your doing. If anything..."

"What?"

"The kinder thing for me to do would be to let you go."

"I...I..."

"I know you like me."

"I do."

"But more as a friend, right?" Yuya said gently. "I know you love him."

Kyousuke looked dejected, but didn't deny it. "Can a person love two people like that at once?"

"You can be confused and think you are. You can be like you, soft-hearted to the point of pain. But no, I don't think you can be in love with two people at once."

Kyousuke's lower lip trembled. Yuya gently took one of his hands and cradled it affectionately.

"I know we're mainly just keeping up appearances. Preparing everyone for our break-up."

"Are we?"

"I think so. We don't feel like a couple anymore, do we?"

They didn't. Kissing felt obligatory, even hugs were awkward when they lasted too long. The romantic and physical desire Yuya had awakened in Kyousuke was no longer felt. Not for him.

"I'm so sorry."

"Honey, you don't need to keep saying that. It's not like you plotted to get hurt or to fall for someone else. But if you need it, you're forgiven. You've been forgiven every moment, even the saddest."

The younger's eyes overflowed. "I never deserved you."

Yuya enfolded him in a gentle hug, winced with heartache to feel Kyousuke snuggling against him.

"You deserve to be happy. I wished you that before I knew I had a shot at you, and I wish it for you now. If I can't do that better than everyone else..."

"I really liked being with you."

Yuya smiled at the sentiment, wistuflly for the past tense of it. "At least I can claim credit for drawing you out of your shell. Dai-chan will always owe me."

"So...we're..."

"Breaking up? You want to, don't you?"

"That's the thing. I know we can't be together, but I don't want to break up with you. I'm horrible."

"You're not. You're kind."

Kyousuke drew back a little and sniffled. "You'll have to break up with _me_."

"And I will. But not right now." _I'm not ready._ "I don't want to upset you or distract anyone today."

 _He's so sweet. I wish I could have loved him. I'm basically cheating on him and he's still protecting me. I do love you, Yuya. Just not like you wanted._

"Are you nervous?" Kyousuke asked quietly.

"Yeah. You?"

"Uh-huh."

"It's normal, especially your first time." Yuya immediately regretted his choice of words, and hastily went on. "Once you're out on the stage, you'll feel this strange, elated calm. You'll probably be anxious a little before every performance, but not as much as you are now."

"I'm so scared I'll mess up and let everyone down."

"You won't. You haven't forgotten any lines, your voice is stronger, and you haven't missed a step since you stopped falling during the spins. Just don't skip any meals, even if you feel too anxious to eat. Okay?"

Kyousuke sniffled a soft laugh. "I have to eat more? You forced a huge breakfast on me this morning. All those pancakes..."

"Necessary carbs. You need to eat bread or pasta at lunch too."

"You will too, right?"

"Buchou's made it an order for all of us. You didh't hear him?"

"I guess my mind was far away."

"Far away feeling sad, I'm guessing."

 _Or happily thinking of Dai-chan. But that's sad too._

"Do me a favor, MaoMao. Tell me honestly what you're thinking right now."

"That I'm crazy. Dai-chan and I can't be together legally. If Sensei found out, he'd probably fire us, and my family...my brother especially. I couldn't even tell him about _you_."

"You're worried you'll get Buchou in trouble?"

"Mmm."

"It'll work out somehow. Take one day at a time. After all, you're not even together yet."

"If he does want to be with me, he could be - I'm sorry, I shouldn't be - "

"Of course you should," Yuya said firmly. "I may be your soon-to-be ex, but we'll always be friends. Right?"

Kyousuke gave him a teary smile. "If you really want to be."

Yuya sighed with fake exasperation. "I hope Buchou knows we need to work on your self-esteem."

"Can you be friends with him too?" _Have I ruined that?_

"I think so. I need to keep an eye on him anyway, to make sure he takes good care of you." Yuya gently stroked the tear off the teenager's cheek. "Hold my hand on the way back."

Kyousuke obliged as they headed toward the door. "To keep up appearances?"

"Yep." _No. Because I will miss touching you more than you can imagine._

 _daimaodaimao_

"How long is this pity party gonna last, Maki?"

Makita tore off the Seigaku jacket he'd been shrugging out of and glared at his former best friend.

"Take off that mask already. We're alone and _I_ know you're not sick."

"I am. I'm sick over what we did."

Ogasawara rolled his eyes. "Don't be so fucking emo. It's over now, deal with it. Be grateful he doesn't remember it was us. We don't need to threaten or scare him into keeping quiet."

Makita looked incredulous. "You really feel no remorse at all."

"For what? Come on. It was hardly a painful first time. MaoMao would have been hurt a lot worse if it had been some stagehand dragging him into a closet. Now he's got Buchou keeping two eyes on him, which sucks for me, but he's safe and you should be happy."

"I'll never be happy again."

"Poor you. You better not even think about telling."

"How could I? I'm as culpable as you."

"Yeah, you are. Keep that in mind."

"I won't tell, okay? But you have to give me your word."

"My word what?"

Makita looked pained. "That you won't really give MaoMao to that monster."

"You mean the man who made us rich and who loves the kid enough to want to spoil him for life?"

"Love? You call what he did love?" Exasperated, Makita roughly pushed hair out of his face. "And anyway, a guy like that would lose interest when MaoMao gets older and probably kill him."

"You're not tempted by all that money?"

"Oga, I already don't think I can live a normal life after what we did. If I had to make it through years of knowing MaoMao was being daily raped, I'd kill myself, definitely."

"What a noble samurai," Ogasawara mocked with a sneer. "Why did you go along with this in the first place, then?"

"I wish I knew," Makita said quietly. "I thought it would be hot to watch, that it would be like any porno. I was an idiot and worse. I can still hear him crying."

"What if I told you Haneda promised to send us videos?"

Makita covered his face with his hands.

"So I'm the only jerk here and you've got the moral high ground."

"I told you, it was my fault too."

"Swear you won't tell."

"I won't tell...if _you_ swear you won't give MaoMao to that man."

"God, Maki." Ogasawara shook his head. "Fine. I swear."

"Thank you. That's all I wanted."

"MaoMao is fine now, you know. He doesn't even seem to remember because of all the drugs he was given."

"He could remember any time," Makita argued. "He probably _does_ recall at least some of it. He was sick the next day and Buchou and Yuya haven't left him unattended for a millisecond since. Buchou's even rooming with him now."

"Yeah, because he wants to fuck him like everybody else. MaoMao and Yuya are gonna announce they're over any time now. You'll see, MaoMao and Buchou will be an item, and if anything, we helped that happen."

"You seriously think anything good can come out of what we did?"

"My bank account would say yes. And you, you helped your parents with their mortgage, didn't you? I can get the Mustang I've wanted forever. And MaoMao now has himself a more-loving-than-ever secret boyfriend. No harm, no foul. The opposite of harm, really."

"I'll hear his screams forever," Makita murmured. When Ogasawara said nothing in response, he left the room without another word.

 _daimaodaimaodaimao_

The day, a blurry mix of hectic last-minute prep and mandatory rest periods, went by too fast for anyone's liking. Shogo had, in his excitement, gotten past his fear and was dashing around with inexhaustible energy, encouraging everyone and predicting opening night, which was sold out, would be a huge success. Daisuke's confidence was quieter as he gave time to each team member, praising their hard work and assuring them they would do well.

Makita, though still seemingly distracted, seemed to be getting back to his old self. He even managed to choke out a few words to Ogasawara, though it was plain to all that they'd had a falling-out.

Kyousuke continued to put on a brave face, buoyed by the constant reassurance and affection of his guardians. He and Yuya almost looked like a happy couple leaning against each other at lunch, and he was often found sitting on Daisuke's lap in the Seigaku's main dressing room.

"You'll be great, kid," the captain assured him as the boy was getting his eyeshadow touched up. "You were good when we started and you've moved miles ahead since then."

"Do you think I'll ever sing as well as you?"

Daisuke stroked his hair, somehow still soft even with product in it. "You have a lovely voice. I've just had more practice. Your voice is getting stronger all the time and will keep doing so."

"I wish I had your skin, honey," Hana, the makeup artist, cooed. "Even barefaced, you glow."

"Yes, he does," Daisuke agreed, squeezing him around the waist. "I guess cuteness can be luminescent if it's strong enough."

"He is adorable."

"Am not," Kyousuke grumbled.

"Are," Hana sang as she moved on to Yuuta.

"You know, baby, denying it makes you even cuter."

"Ugh, don't call me that."

"Can I call you mind-bogglingly beautiful?" Daisuke said very softly into the teenager's ear.

Kyousuke shifted at the ticklish warmth on his face. "I wish I could kiss you," he whispered.

"Me too. If you have any energy after the show, I'll pleasure you into exhaustion."

"I want to do everything with you, Dai-chan."

"When you're older. When you're ready."

"Watanabe-san?" one of the choreographers called from the doorway.

"Be back when I can, Mao-kun."

Left alone, thinking about the run of the show made the boy think of it ending. When would he see Daisuke again? What if they couldn't see each other regularly? What would happen to this new relationship they had to keep secret?

Tomo came over, with a kinder expression than usual. "Why so pensive, baby?"

"Um, nervous, I guess."

Tomo sat down and pulled his chair uncomfortably close. "You can be honest. It's something to do with the dreamboat captain who's fallen hard for you, isn't it?"

The words came like magma bubbling to the surface. "What if I never see him again? The thought of that makes me want to start crying and never stop."

"MaoMao, I'm not asking you to tell me anything. But I know you've been having a hard time lately."

"...yeah."

"And being with Dai-chan is what helps?"

"Yes."

"It's simple. He's auditioning for the next 'Takumi-kun' movie."

"I heard."

"So...you audition for it too. Take up my old part. You guys have such chemistry, you'd be great."

"You mean...for Takumi?" Kyousuke looked flustered. "Be...be touched like that and everyone see it?"

"Be touched by _Dai-chan_. Would that be so bad?"

"No." Kyousuke blushed to hear himself answer so quickly. "B-But it's a BL, my parents wouldn't let me."

"It's pretty tame, from what I've heard. Your parents trust Dai-chan with you and like him."

"Maybe, but my brother..."

"You want to hold onto Dai-chan, don't you?" Tomo smiled knowingly, pat the kid's shoulder before walking away. "I'll have my agency give yours the info. Think about it."

 _A way to hold onto Dai-chan..._

 _daimaodaimaodaimao_

As the more experienced actors had promised the less, once they were out on stage, under the lights and facing the crowd, every step and swing and line they'd learned came fluidly back to them. The few mistakes made were minor and went unnoticed. The crowd loved the new Tenimyu cast and cheered the house down, necessitating three curtain calls of bowing and an opportunity to teach viewers the names of the actors.

When the Seigaku were finally hidden behind heavy curtains, everyone breathed a sigh of relief. Shogo almost kissed Taka and had to be placated with a tight hug. Kyousuke breathed unsteadily for several moments, then collapsed. Yuya got to him first, and his alarm faded when he realized the boy was laughing.

"Yeah, baby, it's over and you were amazing. You okay?"

"Uh-huh. They liked us, didn't they?"

"You just gained a hell of a lot of fans, baby. Welcome to fame." _And it will never be as easy as it is right now._

Kyousuke found the strength to hug Yuya back and kiss him on the cheek. Yuya surprised him by turning to capture the kid's mouth. It was nothing strange; as far as most of their observers knew, they were a couple, and it felt nice and loving, friendly in a way, close-mouthed, so Kyousuke allowed it. Perhaps as Yuya's way of thanking him for the intimacy, Kyousuke soon felt himself being passed to someone else.

It was no surprise to find himself in Daisuke's arms. Both knew they had to be careful, as they weren't alone, but Daisuke happily spun the boy around to hear his elated laugh. Kyousuke snuggled against his beloved's warm chest and inhaled his soothing and distinct cologne smell. "You did so well," Daisuke said, and the boy felt 20 feet tall. "I love you," he whispered back, and Daisuke skillfully hid his tears in a short improvised speech congratulating his team on a very successful premiere.

Masuda quickly appeared, bowing and babbling excitedly, with Ryokyou behind him smiling brightly and saying his faith in them had not been misplaced.

"All right, get changed and down to the cars. Late call tomorrow, so order some food, as expensive as you like, and get lots of sleep. And thank you again. You were all brilliant."

"You have him?" Yuya quietly asked Daisuke.

Daisuke stared at him a moment, overcome by the younger's selflessness. "Yes. Thank you, Yuya-kun."

Yuya reached out to stroke Kyousuke's arm. "See you in the morning, MaoMao. Get lots of rest."

Kyousuke surprised them both with a sudden movement, grabbing Yuya's hand and squeezing it. The boy turned his head out of Daisuke's shirt and clearly said, "Can we eat breakfast together? Please?"

"Come to my room as soon as you're ready. Tomo hates the smell of bacon and I need to get him back for short-sheeting my bed. Come...both of you."

With a smile, Daisuke playfully nudged Yuya's arm. "We'd be glad. Get some rest and we'll see you then. Around eight okay?"

"I'll be waiting."

Yuya briefly pet Kyousuke's mussed hair, murmured a last "Good night," and excused himself. Daisuke gently hoisted Kyousuke up a little, prepared to carry him, but the boy seemed to perk up and said he could walk. Daisuke kept an arm around his waist as they headed to one of the awaiting black cars. Normally-quiet Yuuta sat nearby and jovially sang his parts from the show. Daisuke joined in, but Kyousuke was content to listen, his head pressed to the man's chest to feel the vibration from the song.

Once in their room, Daisuke let Kyousuke shower first while he ordered food. Damp-haired and warmly relaxed, while Daisuke used the bathroom, the boy picked at some rice, soup, fish and vegetables, not really hungry but knowing he needed calories after burning so many while performing. As the boy expected, Daisuke was happy to see that he'd finished a plate, and wolfed down his own with alarming speed.

"How do you stay thin?" Kyousuke teased.

"It all goes to my brain and muscles."

"And vocal chords. Buchou...you were amazing. I was really moved."

Daisuke looked sincerely touched. "Thank you, baby. And I'm proud of you. I know you were scared, but you were meant to perform. Tonight proved that. You were fantastic."

Kyousuke, holding back tears and still frazzled from his apprehension, crawled into Daisuke's lap, seeking the comfort he always found there. Daisuke happily embraced him, gently petting the head resting on his shoulder. Neither said anything for several minutes, and eventually Kyousuke moved his face to begin kissing Daisuke's neck.

Without thinking, the elder murmured, "I shouldn't be doing this."

The boy stopped. "You...don't want to?"

"I want _you_ ," Daisuke reassured, locking arms around his waist. "I want to be touching you every second. I just worry. My age, people finding out, and this may not even be healthy for you yet."

"I won't tell anyone. Some people seem to know already, but they don't know we...you know."

Daisuke found the innocent boy's faint blush intoxicating. "I know, honey. But I keep thinking that maybe we're moving too fast for you."

"You're not pushing me. It's the other way around, if anything."

Daisuke smiled sadly. "How badly would your family kill me?"

"My parents would be okay once they got to know you. And Aniki doesn't want me to date anyone till I'm thirty, so he wouldn't approve of anyone."

"Shinnosuke-san has a right to worry. He said you don't notice how people look at you."

"I do...I just don't like to talk about it."

"What kind of things have happened? Will you tell me?"

Kyousuke burrowed into the protective hug. "Just grabs. Touches, or saying stuff."

"Men?"

"Yeah. On the subway mostly or in crowds...once at the dinner table. A colleague of my dad's...touched my leg."

Daisuke swallowed his fury. "You didn't say anything."

"He was Dad's _friend_."

"Mao-kun, I want you to tell me anything like that that happens from now on. Will you promise?"

Kyousuke answered with unexpected strength. "If _you_ promise not to get yourself in trouble."

 _Can't do that._ "Deal. And you still need to stay close to Yuya and I. Whoever did...they're still out there."

Kyousuke shivered, and Daisuke kissed his forehead. "What can I do to make you feel better?"

"Please...touch me?"

Encouragingly, Kyousuke moved to lie back on the bed. Daisuke slowly came to hover over him, watching closely for signs of fear. The beautiful kid was looking at him with trust, adoration, with need. Daisuke caught his lips gently, waiting several moments to breach the soft mouth with his tongue. He turned them onto their sides to more easily get both arms around the boy, and after a long kiss, he moved Kyousuke on top of him. The teenager laughed nervously, questioningly.

"Does this feel better?"

"Eh?"

"Being on top. Do you feel safe?"

Kyousuke considered. "Actually..."

"Yeah?"

"When you're above me, I feel...protected."

Daisuke obligingly switched their positions and mirrored the boy's relieved smile. The elder liked it this way too, feeling almost like he could guard Kyousuke from the dangerous world like this. He had always liked being dominant, and Kyousuke clearly was more the submissive type. Daisuke didn't want to give himself false hope, but it seemed a good sign. Even though he suspected Kyousuke may not be in love, but rather being infatuated with his current guardian, and it seemed a relationship with little chance of a future.

 _I don't want to think right now._

Daisuke slid his hands under Kyousuke's pajama top, stroking the sides just the way they both liked. The boy arched up to let the top be pushed up to his collar bone. Soft kisses were pressed all over his torso, faintly damp against the sweet-smelling skin. Daisuke relished every moan of pleasure until they turned needy, then went where the boy wanted him to go. The nipples seemed to expect him by now, firming up quickly in his mouth and fingers. The moans now had Daisuke hard in moments, but he wanted to focus on _this_ body.

Kyousuke had slid his hand into Daisuke's hair, holding the head to one breast and then the other. He had shyly done some Googling and learned that some men, especially gay ones, had very sensitive, erogenous-zone nipples. It was a relief to know it wasn't just him, and it had reminded him that both Yuya and Daisuke seemed to like the practice too.

It felt amazing, always did, but soon Kyousuke found himself pulling Daisuke's head down to his crotch. The elder willingly tugged the pajama pants down and started to stroke.

"Baby? Why are you crying?"

"A-Am I? I'm fine."

Daisuke grabbed a tissue, intending to dab the amber-brown eyes dry. But as it approached in his hand, Kyousuke went suddenly pale and his expression became one of terror.

"No! Please, no more!"

"Mao-kun - "

"Don't drug me again please just let me go - "

Daisuke tossed the tissue away, sat up and pulled the now-flailing teenager onto his lap. "Ssh, ssh, it's me, you're safe."

The boy stilled quickly, but then began to cry. "I'm sorry."

"You didn't do anything wrong. You had a flashback, right?"

"They k-kept...I couldn't move, I couldn't fight. I'm sorry."

"There was nothing you could have done, baby, except survive."

"I wanted you."

"I'm here."

"Just you."

Daisuke cuddled him until the trembling began to subside. Once he seemed calm, the elder looked at the boy's probably-uncomfortable erection. He knew it was a risk, but he slowly, deliberately closed his hand around it and began to pump. The aroused moans started up again, thank God, and the sight of the flushed angel climaxing made Daisuke so hard he thought he'd lose his mind.

Once Kyousuke finished spurting, Daisuke turned the boy on his lap to face him, legs kneeling around his hips and the elder's clothed erection pressing a bare bottom. Gods, how he wanted to be inside it, so he pretended he was and began to thrust. The intermittent pressure made Kyousuke clench, which squeezed his prostate.

"Mmm, yes," the younger groaned into Daisuke's shoulder.

Much as the elder wanted to spread the boy out and fuck him, this was enough for now. In his feverish mind, the heat of his pants was the hot insides of his lover, the boy's moans that of someone being satisfied by penetration. And Kyousuke was into it, no question, rubbing himself hard against the pulsing length.

"Unh, unh, unh..."

Daisuke came hard, thrusting against the slender and half-clothed form. When he was finished, he felt no urgent need to clean up, instead looking intently into Kyousuke's sleepy but pleased expression.

"Honey, I'm - "

"Don't say sorry. I...liked it."

"I wasn't too rough? And right after you..."

"You helped me, got my mind off it. I just wish..."

"What?"

Kyousuke shyly said it into Daisuke's ear. "You could be inside."

 _Gods, don't tempt me._ "Not till you're older and ready."

"I think I'd be okay."

"We have time," Daisuk said, though uncertainly.

Kyousuke didn't feel sure either. _Will I be able to hold onto you? How? And for how long?_

 **To be continued.**


	11. Chapter 11

_Is it time for an update? Even if not, I'm giving you one. I don't know if many people are still reading this, but if you are, I'm grateful, and I'm having fun writing it._

 _Warning - intimate sexual situations ahead. Real people, no offense or intimation intded._

 **HATSUKOI**  
 **Chapter 11**

The run of the show began well, and well it continued, and the actors grew a little more comfortable with each new city they performed in. Kyousuke wasn't sure he'd ever get used to people cheering for him, though, and was a little discomfited when audience members began showing up with fans bearing his name. Shogo got into trouble with Daisuke by convincing the older teenager to Google his own name, because Kyousuke was alarmed and slightly scared to find photos and web sites about him, not all of them done by young girls.

He was still vacillating between his old boyfriend and new, and while Daisuke gave Shogo a talking-to, it was Yuya the upset boy went to. In the dressing room, Yuya held Kyousuke on his lap, arms placed around the body as though trying to hide it. He only wished he could.

But he tried to keep his tone light. "Most people have the opposite reaction to fame, you know."

"I don't like this."

"It just means people like you. You're so good and so...it was bound to happen, baby."

"I don't understand it."

"Do you understand why the rest of us are getting attention?"

"I guess. You guys are all so great."

"Well, same with you. Honey, does this make you afraid something bad will happen again?"

He hadn't realized he was, until it was vocalized. He answered by shivering and pressing himself close to Yuya, who worried a bit about the sudden chill of the teenager's skin. He hugged him tighter, trying to push warmth into him.

"We're not gonna let anyone hurt you. I promise, most of your fans are lovesick girls, and yes, there's men too, but the vast majority of them would not do anything you don't want. And anyway, none of them will get near you unless you want them to. You have Buchou and I to protect you, and even if you didn't, remember what Sensei said. You and Shogo have to be supervised while meeting fans." Yuya laughed. "Rightly so, since Shogo would flirt them into a frenzy."

"I should be excited, right? Something's wrong with me."

"No, baby. I understand why you're scared." _The monsters who hurt you are out there. They could be anyone._ "To you, attention isn't what it is to Shogo. He sees love, you see risk."

"Thank you for understanding," Kyousuke whispered.

Yuya looked into and stroked the sad face. "We're not gonna let anything happen to you. As long as you stay close to us and be careful, everything will be all right. But honey, if you keep acting, you're going to keep getting famous."

"It's not like it was when I was just modeling," Kyouske said quietly. "My agency told me they're getting sent offers and scripts for me."

Yuya smiled at him. "And aren't you happy about that? Or do you want to just go back to modeling?"

"I didn't like modeling. But I love acting."

"And now you're getting all these offers to do so. It's good, baby. Be happy, not worried."

Kyousuke didn't tell him happiness _was_ mixed in with the fear and uncertainty. One of the invitations to audition had been for the new _Takumi-kun_.

 _daimaodaimaodaimao_

"I didn't mean to upset him or anything."

"I know, Shogo."

"I thought it would just be excited girls, you know? I didn't expect that web site about boys men want to fuck would already have a page for him. But they have one for me too and I don't care."

"You're not Mao-kun," Daisuke said with a pained expression. "I'm reporting that site and you're lucky I'm not taking your laptop away."

"Why is he so upset, Buchou? It's just lonely old dudes fantasizing."

 _Not for him._ "Mao-kun is sensitive. He's away from home and his protective big brother for the first time."

"He has you, and us."

"And we're going to keep him safe, but part of that is easing him into fame slowly. I don't want you showing him any more web sites."

"I really am sorry, Buchou."

Daisuke ruffled the kid's hair. "It's okay, you didn't know. How's it going with Taka?"

"You really aren't mad about that?"

"No, because I know he's too moral to be having sex with you yet."

Shogo pouted. "He says we have to wait till I'm eighteen."

"Good."

"It's annoying. Are you gonna do the same with MaoMao?"

Daisuke blinked. "I...don't know what you - "

"It's okay, really. I think everyone's expecting you to get together."

"It wouldn't be appropriate."

"I know you have to say that. But if Taka and me are okay, why wouldn't you and MaoMao be?"

Daisuke opened his mouth, then closed it. He was not about to be reduced to silence by a 14-year-old, but wasn't sure what to say.

"Mao-kun is..."

"What, delicate? You didn't used to think so. Did something happen to him?"

"...no. I just worry for him."

"You're supposed to about people you love."

Daisuke was spared another awkward pause by a stagehand calling them to a rehearsal. Shogo went ahead of him, his usual cocky smile in place.

 _daimaodaimaodaimao_

Kyousuke had been taking turns with who he sat next to at meals, Daisuke and Yuya, and on some weird but happy occasions, he had both surrounding him at the table. While in this awkward between stage, Kyousuke tried to give attention to both, and tolerated the gentle way they ganged up to make him eat more, the way one would always accompany him to the bathroom.

Kyousuke and Yuya were still officially together, so Kyousuke held his hand, occasionally kissed him, happily cuddled with him which made them both happy. He also sat on Daisuke's lap, and the two continued to be intimate when alone. Daisuke went no further, tried to not even think of penetration, but they enjoyed touching each other both over and under clothes.

When they arrived in Kyouto for one of their longest stops, Kyousuke resolved to talk to Yuya about their much-postponed break-up, and caught him alone in one of the theater's empty hallways.

"I think I know what this is about, honey."

"I'm not being fair to you, and I think people think I'm cheating on you anyway, you have to dump me or - "

Yuya took the boy by the shoulders. "Calm down, baby. They see you on Dai-chan's lap, same as they do Shogo. They know he loves you, but they don't know how. And I'm not going to _dump_ you. We're going to decide together that we work better as friends."

"When, though?"

"So eager to be rid of me?" Yuya softly swore when the teenager's eyes filled. "Baby, I'm sorry. Are you okay?"

"I just feel like I'm using you. You should push me away, and instead you..."

" _I'm_ the selfish one. _I'm_ the one drawing this out because I want to keep spending time with you."

Kyousuke offered a watery smile and gently touched the arms holding him. "Afterwards, we'll be friends, right? We can still spend time together."

Yuya nudged him playfully. "Won't be able to kiss you, though."

"You deserve a better kisser than me."

"I'm not sure there is one." Yuya fondly stroked his hair back. "Don't worry about me. I'll be your friend and steal cuddles from you whenever I can, and eventually I'll move on and find someone else to kiss."

"I promise, you can still cuddle me," Kyousuke said with a soft laugh.

"I should get an okay from Buchou too."

"I don't know...it's not like we can openly be a couple."

"Still. I'm an honorable guy."

Kyousuke looked at him seriously. "You are. And I don't want to string you along anymore."

"Okay," Yuya sighed. "Our last night in this city, we'll make the announcement. If you don't mind, I'd like to be your boyfriend in this beautiful place."

Kyousuke smiled. "Okay. We're on for the temple, then?"

"I'm looking forward to it."

"Do you know what you'll wish for?"

Yuya smiled mysteriously and kissed his hand, knowing he need not answer aloud. _You happy. You happy forever._

 _daimaodaimaodaimao_

"This is awesome. I'm totally calling this a date."

Taka, amused, shook his head. "Technically, it's two friends having coffee. That's all we can call it."

Shogo pouted. "I hate my age."

"Don't. It's part of you."

"No one understands. I'm not like other 14-year-olds, I should be allowed to date who I want. I'm older than my age psychologically, right?"

"In some ways, yes," Taka allowed, pausing to thank the waitress who brought their capuccinos. "Believe me, I'd change the law if I could. I don't particularly enjoy law-breaking."

"Technically, you're not," Shogo said quietly. "It's only illegal for you to have _sex_ with me, and you won't."

"Yes, but no one would believe we're not having sex if they knew we were together."

"So..." The boy looked sad. "We can't even let it be known we're a couple till I'm 18? That's longer than I expected."

"Baby, if at any point you want out - "

Shogo threw a salt shaker at him. "Don't even. I'm not breaking up with you just because this is hard."

Taka smiled. "In some ways, you're definitely not 14."

Shogo looked very pleased as he took a sip from his mug. "What did your agency want this morning? I forgot to ask before."

"They got me an audition for that new 'Takumi-kun' movie everyone's talking about. Not a main role, just a sick friend of Gii."

"Still a good opportunity. You gonna do it?"

"I think so. Shooting fits nicely into our break between this show and the next. And I'll probably be working with friends, since some of the guys are auditioning."

"I wish I could," Shogo grumbled. "But my parents have already told me no BL until I'm at _least_ 17."

"Not even a non-intimate part? I hear my character has a crush on a younger student."

"I'll ask, but it's unlikely."

"Don't worry, baby. The entertainment industry in Japan is small. We'll probably get to work together a bunch of times."

Shogo made a face. "I'd end up having to play your little brother or something."

"Would that be so bad...otoutou?"

"Senpai, don't make me dump hot liquid in your lap."

 _daimaodaimaodaimao_

"It's so beautiful here. Almost enough to make me not notice how you're glaring at everyone."

"Sorry, baby. Buchou made me promise to be vigilant. I thought I'd go a step further and be proactive."

"It's okay. It's a lot better than being alone."

Minnakami Temple was one of the smaller holy places in Kyouto, not a common tourist destination, and chosen largely because it wouldn't be too crowded on a weekday. The centuries-old structure was surrounded by a park filled with gardens, ponds, and ornate statues, marked with a stunning collection of red torii. Kyousuke had always loved temples for their prettiness and tranquility, and Yuya said they reminded him of his beloved late grandfather, who'd been a monk. It seemed an ideal final date.

The only drawback was the people, specifically the men. Even over-protective Yuya was surprised by how often and how obviously his boyfriend was being checked out. Kyousuke was so clearly happy here, and his smile seemed to make him glow even more noticeably. It was a beautiful sight, but prompted Yuya to have to give a lot of back-off-he's-mine glares.

 _He is mine, at least for right now._

Kyousuke paled a little as a passing middle-aged salaryman looked at him and quietly whistled. Yuya stopped in his tracks and fixed a cold stare on the man until he noticed and stopped himself. Most cowered at this point and slunk away, but this one smiled and addressed the younger actor.

"Is the day not..." The stranger looked him up and down with appreciation. "...very beautiful?"

Kyousuke shrank back, and Yuya stepped in front of him. "It is, and there are other things to look at besides a _minor_ who doesn't want to be gaped at."

"I mean no harm. I like pretty things and your friend should be flattered. I'm sure I'm not the only - "

"Pervert. Yes, I know. Now walk away before I remove your eyes."

The man had been about to hand Kyousuke a business card, but Yuya's stony expression finally did the trick. The stranger murmured "Sumimasen" and quickly took another path. Yuya breathed the anger out of himself as much as he could before turning to find Kyousuke tearing up.

"Baby - "

"I hate this, I hate myself, I want to be someone else."

Yuya gently guided him to a bench and wrapped an arm around him. "Please don't say that. You're so loved for exactly who you are."

"Sometimes I want to claw my face off," Kyousuke whispered.

Yuya wished so badly he could hold the boy closer, but they had been ordered to appear only as friends. He massaged the thin shoulder his hand rested on.

"Your face is just one part of you. Honey, I am so sorry it's all some people can see. But please don't dislike it."

"Y-You like it."

"And so does Dai-chan and everyone else who loves you. But you're more than it."

"Yuya, I'm scared."

"Of what, baby?"

"Of everyone. Anyone could be..."

"Baby. I know." The thought made Yuya want to lash out and kill everyone he saw. "Have you remembered any more?"

"Bits, I think." Truthfully, chunks of the rape had come back, but the faces who'd been in the room remained blurry. Mostly he recalled the feel of hands stroking him, the sickly-sweet cooing of a deep voice.

 _"Pretty little baby boy."_

"Honey?"

"I don't like to think about it."

"I know," Yuya said gently, resting his tilted-up chin on the boy's head. "But if you do remember anyone involved, you need to tell Dai-chan and I so we can make sure they're punished."

"Would there be...like...a trial?"

"I don't want to put you through that any more than you want to go through it. Personally, I think Dai-chan and I would rather kill them."

"I don't want you to get in trouble, especially not over me."

"We don't want them to hurt anyone else, right?" Yuya stroked away a tear. "Don't be sad. Let the memories come and tell us about them. Getting it out in words may help."

"He kept saying..."

"What?" Yuya encouraged.

"That he didn't want to hurt me. He put something on a handkerchief and when I breathed it, I couldn't move." Kyousuke stopped to take a shaky breath. "He made drink something that stopped the pain...the physical pain at least."

"Good," Yuya tried to prompt more of the rapid speech.

"T-There was a doctor there and he put his fingers...and he told the man I hadn't ever..."

"Baby."

"I should have let _you_. Then I wouldn't have lost it to _him_."

"You are the same person now you've always been. What you'll one day give to Dai-chan is worth more than what was ripped away from you. I promise. You're going to have so many firsts."

The pale face broke into a warm smile. "Thanks to you, my first kiss was wonderful. You always make me feel so special."

"You are. I'll tell you that every day if I need to."

"You'll really keep being my friend?"

"I'll toast you at your wedding and babysit your kids."

"And you'll date other guys, right?"

Yuya laughed. "Eventually. I'm too charming to be alone."

"You're perfect," Kyousuke sighed, dropping a head back onto his shoulder.

Out of nowhere, a blur of colorful clothes and hair ribbons was in front of them, three girls squeeing happily. Smiling a diplomatic smile, Yuya rose to his feet and subtly pushed Kyousuke behind him.

"Konnichiwa, ladies."

"Yuya-kun, Mao-kun!"

"We loved your show! We're going again tomorrow!"

"I'm Nozomi!"

"I'm Hanako!"

"I'm Miya!"

"We love you!"

"Is Mao-kun okay?"

"He's a little shy, not used to fans. But he's as happy to meet you as I. Thank you for your kind words."

The girls squealed with happiness to see Yuya put a protective arm around Kyousuke. The younger smiled and managed a soft greeting.

"He's even more gorgeous up close," Nozomi whispered to Hanako.

"Don't embarrass him," said Miya, who seemed to be the leader. "We're sorry to disturb you on a day off. We just wanted to thank you for an amazing show. You guys are the best Seigaku yet."

"Especially Watanabe-san," Hanako sighed. Kyousuke privately agreed.

Yuya continued to be as smooth as silk. "I see you lovely ladies have your fans. We'd be happy to sign them for you."

More squeeing. The actors answered a few excited questions, laughingly refused to give them any cast phone numbers, and gave the autographs while assuring the fans that they actually got along well with the actors on the opposing team. The girls were polite and didn't take up much of their time, and understandingly confined their hugs only to Yuya. When they'd gone, Yuya squeezed his boyfriend around the shoulders.

"You did great, honey."

"I could barely speak."

"Shyness is cute. And you'll see, it'll get easier."

"Does anything?"

"Hmm?"

"Get easier."

Yuya stroked his hair. "Just remember. You're not alone."

 _daimaodaimaodaimao_

"I'm getting vicarious blue balls here, Dai-chan."

"And I'm busy looking at our reviews, Tomo," the elder grumbled.

"Did you get to the one that called your boy-toy ethereal? Is that why you're grouchy?"

Daisuke started. "Who? Who said that?"

"What does it matter? It's true."

"I don't want Mao-kun seeing it, that's all."

Tomo sighed. "When will you tell me why the baby needs to be shielded from everyone who finds him attractive, which by the way is most people?"

"I...can't."

"I won't tell."

"I mean, it's not my secret to share."

"You're forcing me to assume, and I don't like what my brain is saying."

"It's probably right, then."

Tomo sat down at the next dressing-room vanity with a glum expression. "So you're a kind of rebound."

"I'm a safe person, that's all."

"Really? Because we all kind of assume you're dating."

"I cannot date a 16-year-old kid, Tomo, I'm 25."

"What would you call it, then?"

"I don't know. Comforting."

"Sexually."

"I have not statutory-raped anyone," Daisuke said testily.

"No penetration then. Gonna claim nothing else?"

"I know what people would think, what you must - "

Tomo interrupted. "Don't ever lump me in with _people_. If it's what MaoMao wants, I'm fine with it. He loves you."

"I don't know. Maybe he does, maybe he's infatuated. All I know is it comforts him to be...handled. I don't know if it's right or wrong, it just is."

"As I thought. He and Yuya are just putting on a show for...what? To hide the less legal relationship?"

"They're ending it soon. Yuya is being far more gracious about it than I would be. He loves Mao-kun enough to - "

"To hand him off to you. That is noble. Allow me to summarize, the reviews are all good. Masuda has been bowing so much he's hit his head on 3 different coffee tables. Concentrate on the 'Takumi-kun' script pages I know you have."

"Are you offering to run lines with me?"

"No. Your Takumi won't be like me. My gut tells me he'll be better, fit into the part with an understanding I never had."

"If you mean Mao-kun, I know you've been encouraging him, but he'd never be able to handle that role."

"Or...it could be cathartic. But if you must know, he told me he's more likely to read for a smaller part."

"Why is he considering it at all?"

"To spend more time with you, dimwit. You must be a lot better at making blueprints than you are at seeing the obvious."

As Tomo walked away, Daisuke put the papers down. He found he couldn't concentrate on them anymore.

 _daimaodaimaodaimao_

The teahouse Ryokyou had booked a room for them in was one of the oldest in Kyouto, attended by real geisha and decorated warmly and intricately. As the Seigaku took seats around the table, Kyousuke's uncertainty was eased by Daisuke, who nodded toward Yuya. The boy settled next to his boyfriend and relaxed when both men gave him reassuring smiles. To his relief, the beautifully painted women didn't stay to make small talk, merely poured tea whenever required, while kimonoed male employees served endless plates of sashimi, various cooked meats, and rice and vegetable dishes.

Ogasawara passed his pickles down to Kyousuke, remembering the kid liked them, and Kyousuke smiled his thanks and tried to ignore the sudden sickness he felt. He put it down to nerves, not noticing Makita seemed to feel unwell too.

"No sake?" Yuuta half-joked.

"I might consider it were I not saving it for myself," Ryokyou said airily, as he passed a cup to Masuda and headed back to the small bar. Masuda slurped his beverage quickly, mostly abstaining so he could better look after his charges.

"This maguro is the best I've ever had," Taka declared.

"You honor us, okyaku-sama," a geisha giggled.

"Flirt with them and you get in trouble," Taka whispered to Shogo.

"Like, spanking?"

"I mean in a way you _wouldn't_ enjoy."

"Did you try the salmon yet, baby?" Yuya asked softly. "Good, isn't it?"

"Yes, and I'm usually not big on sashimi. Are you going to keep calling me that? After?"

"You mean 'baby'? I'll stop if you want."

"Actually, I like it. Is that...weird?"

"Not at all. We all call you and Shogo that anyway. Besides, it's a comfortable nickname for me."

"I'm glad. I think I'd miss it. I'm..."

"What?"

"I'm going to miss you."

"I'm not going anywhere." Yuya kissed his hand, then cleared his throat. "Guys, we have a little news, and we don't want to make a big deal out of it, but Mao-kun and I have decided we'd be happier as friends than a couple."

"Oh, good, I thought MaoMao might be pregnant," Tomo said dryly.

Yuuta alone looked surprised. "Really? I'm so sorry, guys."

"Did you have a fight?" Shogo asked bluntly.

"No, we're just not compatible like that. It just wasn't working out."

"No one cheated? That's boring. Ow." Taka had rapped Shogo's head with his knuckles.

"Of course not," Ogasawara said confidently. "MaoMao is too sweet and Yuya could hardly find anyone more desirable."

Yuya laughed, Kyousuke blushed, and Makita quietly excused himself and hurried out.

"I'd better make sure he's all right," Masuda said, getting up. "Sorry to hear this, Yuya-kun, Mao-kun, but as my Obaachan used to say, plenty of minnows in the sea. Don't be discouraged."

"Are you gonna stay friends?" Shogo continued to probe. "Neither of you are quitting, are you?"

"We are," Kyousuke said quickly, "and no, no one is quitting. We're fine, really."

Yuya emphasized the point by slipping an arm around the boy's waist and squeezing him. Now that the play-acting was over, this actually felt better, comforting and uncomplicated.

Taka spoke up. "You think it will affect the Golden Pair?"

"Nah," Yuya said cheerfully. "We'll be able to concentrate even better without checking each other out."

Ogasawara raised his glass. "To MaoMao, who I'm sure won't be on the market for long, and Yuya-kun, who just gave up the best he'll ever have. Just kidding. Good luck to you both."

Everyone raised their glasses and drank, and Yuya playfully tossed a piece of tako at Ogasawara, who caught it in his mouth and received a round of applause. Looking at him, Kyousuke felt a sudden wave of nausea. He swayed a little, and Yuya caught him.

"Baby?" he whispered.

"I'm scared."

"Of what?"

"I don't know. Nothing. Everything."

"Let's get you some air, it's stuffy."

Out in the cool evening, it was easier to breathe, though Kyousuke still wasn't sure what had him frightened. Yuuya looked concerned as he stroked the smooth cheeks and sides of his neck. In the alley here, there was no one to see them, and neither were really sure why they should hide. Yuya wanted so badly to touch this body at least once more, to say farewell.

He began to tug Kyousuke's formal white shirt out of his pants, all while looking into confused eyes.

"Yuya?"

"Please...let me look at you."

He got the trousers and briefs almost down to the knees, then unbuttoned the shirt all the way to the top. Bared so, the boy looked like a rare anatomically-correct doll, all smooth, all white save the pink of the nipples and penis. Yuya brought the body to his own as though to warm, but he himself shivered, with need. He pushed his knee to rub between the legs and didn't catch the lips so much as seized them.

The boy groaned, but for once Yuya didn't care if it was refusal; he wanted a last taste of what he was giving up. He pulled Kyousuke nearer, forcing the boy to ride him, and plundered his mouth with little gentleness. Kyousuke allowed this because he sensed the love in the desperation, but was relieved to feel a familiar form envelop him from behind, hands gently frame his face and pull it back from Yuya's.

The interruption surprised them both, but Daisuke didn't seem at all bothered. When Yuya tried to sadly slink off, Daisuke stopped him with his usual mild voice.

"Stay. I understand."

"Dai-chan?"

"Baby."

The elder coaxed a dizzy head back onto his shoulder and began a gentle kiss. The kid melted into it and into the arm supporting him around the waist. He felt so safe that there was no alarm when Daisuke's free hand settled between his legs and began to stroke the limp organ. It responded like a pet to an owner, reaching out like a firming tendril, its rosy shade darkening slightly. It was not very large even fully erect, but a beautiful sight, as was the drunken writhing it accompanied.

"Nnn, nnn..."

Daisuke locked eyes with a mouth-watering Yuya. He cupped beneath the organ's peak with his hand and held it out. It took Yuya several seconds to be sure of what he was being offered. He hesitantly swiped the leaking, pre-come dew from the head and licked it from his fingers, it was always so sweet. He dropped to his knees and enveloped the head, working it very gently with his lips and tongue, daring to massage the boy's lower cheeks as he sucked him.

"Nnn, nnn..."

Holding him up, caressing his stomach in the cool air, Daisuke watched the face of the head against his shoulder, the porcelain paleness graced with the pink of mouth, cheeks, and closed eyelids. The elder was keeping his groin a little away from the boy, the better to resist wanting to penetrate him. He was hard, but ignoring it, he and Yuya both focused on pleasuring their till-recently shared boyfriend.

Both also knew what they were doing now would likely not be repeated. All three young men were innately monogamous, and the elder two considered the baby much too innocent to propose threesomes. This was like a ritual in which Yuya farewelled this body and surrendered it to Daisuke.

They all wanted to prolong it, and Yuya was skilled. He drew out the blowjob, slowing whenever the boy got close and tonguing the slit.

Kyousuke wasn't confident he could speak at the moment, but his pretty moans were needy, his head lolled like an overcome dreamer. Daisuke slid one hand down the young body and cupped the tight testicles, gently kneaded them. He alternated this with grasping the base of the shaft and firmly stroking, essentially pumping it in and out of Yuya's mouth.

"Oh God oh _God_..."

He came less intensely than either expected, almost softly, trembling rather than shaking, eyelids quivering and the pleasure on his face exquisite. Daisuke tenderly milked the organ to completion, and Yuya drank down the warm fluid while encouraging the faint thrusting with hands on the boy's hips. After the trickle faded to nothing, Yuya thoroughly licked clean the small amount left behind. He then stood, silently re-dressed Kyousuke, and took the sweet face in his large hands.

Kyousuke opened his sleepy eyes. A few tears escaped, and his smile was sad.

"Listen to me, baby. I want you to be happy. You're not hurting me and I will always love you. I will be fine. Eventually I'll find my prince like you've found yours, so don't worry about me. We're friends and I will always be in your life. If you're happy, so am I. Remember that."

Though weak from his orgasm, Kyousuke slowly fell forward to embrace his ex-boyfriend with obvious affection. Looking past him, Yuya saw Daisuke wearing a softer version of his usual solemnity. The elder simply mouthed, "Thank you." Yuya smiled, squeezed his eyes shut against the pain in his heart, and gently taking Kyousuke by the arms, he passed the boy into the awaiting arms of Daisuke.

"See you guys back inside. Seriously, try the salmon."

Once they were alone, Daisuke turned Kyousuke around and found him wincing with hurt. "I know he was sad."

"I know. But love helps a lot against pain. Even when you don't get exactly what you want." Daisuke stroked his cheek. "I've never felt so lucky as I do right now."

"I love you," Kyousuke whispered into the caressing hand.

 _Maybe. Or you're infatuated, or you just want to feel safe._

"I love you too. It may not be right or legal or what you need most, and I don't know if I should even be telling you. But I never knew I could love anything like I love you."

Kyousuke sniffled, stepped into an embrace, and rested his forehead against a shoulder. Daisuke ran his hands over the teenager's hair and back.

"We have to keep it secret. Are you okay with that?"

An immediate nod.

"Will you let me try my best to make you happy?"

"Yes. Will I make _you_ happy?"

"Should be easy, since you already do."

"Tighter, please. Hold me tighter."

Daisuke put a hand beneath the boy's backside and carefully hoisted him just off the ground and into a protective hug. Kyousuke burrowed cutely into him; the boy felt warm and soft and _perfect_. Daisuke held him close, looked up at the stars, and had a calm but determined thought.

 _I will kill anyone who dares to hurt you again._

 **To be continued.**


	12. Chapter 12

_New chappie! And for once, no warnings, unless sexing up in a consensual fashion requires a warning. For me, that's very tame._

 _Real people, no offense intended. Also, I don't know much about the real-life timeline of these happenings, so don't count on me for order of events, et cetera, I'm making all this up to please myself._

 _Let's get started!_

 **HATSUKOI**  
 **Chapter 12**

No one had thought it possible for Daisuke to become more protective of his charge. But now that he and Kyousuke were official, secret though it was, the elder seemed determined the boy not be left anywhere without himself or someone he trusted, generally Yuya, Taka, Tomo, or one of the adults he had faith in. People had, for the most part, no definite knowledge of the change in relationship, but Daisuke, though he did not kiss the boy publicly, was more affectionate and careful than ever.

The pair were hardly apart when they didn't have to be. Their hands were constantly clasped. Kyousuke was on Daisuke's lap more than he was on chairs, while Shogo similarly preferred Taka's knees to rest on. No one seemed to think either baby's behavior off. It seemed nearly perfect to Daisuke, too perfect, so he thought when their director asked to speak to him privately. In the hallway alone, Ryokyou looked at him kindly.

"Don't worry, Dai-chan. Whatever your answer is, you're not in trouble. I just want to know if you're dating our Mao-kun."

"He's only sixteen, Sensei. It wouldn't be appropriate for me to be romantic with him."

"But you are."

Daisuke fully intended to lie, but he'd never been good at it, and a sliver of truth rushed out. "I haven't had sex with him and have no plans to."

"The boy seems to need a lot of comforting these days. Did something happen I need to know about?"

"Just...the usual looks, occasional comments. He's very sensitive and takes it hard."

"I don't think I need to ask if you're being physical with him, or if his family knows about you two. I'm willing, as is Masuda, to look the other way if we can have your word you won't 'go all the way,' so to speak, until the kid is eighteen."

"Thank you, Sensei. I had not planned to do otherwise anyway. Sir, you've really put my mind at ease. I was half-expecting to be fired."

"And lose our very popular Tezuka and good influence? Hardly. I can't allow any crimes to be committed on my watch, but I have your assurance none are. Last I checked, dating a minor alone is not illegal. But it goes without saying that this must be kept a secret. Not everyone trusts you as much as I do."

"Only a few people know, and that's how we'd like to keep it for now."

"I suppose Yuya-kun really does love Mao-kun if he's willing to hand him off to a better candidate."

Daisuke sighed. "I don't know if I truly am that. I'm much more selfish than Yuya-kun."

"Perhaps, but Mao-kun chose _you_. He clearly has very strong feelings for you. I saw that long before I knew what I know now. I thought it sweet, just a crush, but perhaps it will be more. Just be careful with him. I know I need not ask."

"You need not."

The director sighed. "If only Shogo-kun's crush were as easy to resolve. I don't know if Taka-kun merely indulges him or it's an actual relationship. Maybe it's best I don't know. Plausible deniability and all that."

This time, the lie came out. "Taka only allows friendship between them. Shogo can't help his feelings, though."

"True. We'll just have to hope he falls for someone closer to his own age."

Daisuke nodded, privately disagreeing. Age gap or no, he found he couldn't hope against Taka and Shogo's happiness. There was too little of it in this bitter world.

 _daimaodaimaodaimao_

Daisuke and Kyousuke were carrying out their usual post-show, post-shower, post-eating ritual, laying together on one of the beds and gently touching each other. Kyousuke had grown bolder, was always assured he could touch anywhere he wanted to, and so sometimes even initiated the shirts coming off. He loved Daisuke's toned chest and almost-6-pack, loved stroking it while hands caressed his own pale and taut flesh, his own developing body being worshiped with gentle hands and adoring eyes.

The boy was getting better. Of that, Daisuke was beginning to be sure. The crying was rare now, the bad dreams seldom. In addition, he was more responsive to touch, his nipples hardening almost as soon as Daisuke began to manipulate them. Kyousuke greatly enjoyed this, and Daisuke would have always been happy to tweak and suck them for hours. More often, though, the practice led after a while to jerking off and/or sucking.

Tonight, Daisuke was feeling especially frisky, and wanted to keep his young lover on edge as long as possible. He got the little pink buds erect with moistened fingers, then lazily sucked one and then the other until they were slightly reddened and sore. Instead of then pulling the pajama pants down, he began to kiss the glistening breasts wetly. The boy writhed in his stroking hands, a sound of need, but Daisuke merely whispered "Trust me, baby," and went on.

Kyousuke was flushed prettily and hardly knew his own name. He wanted more, true, but this felt so good, he felt so loved and desired. Daisuke's hands, rougher than his own, rubbed his sides and bare arms, further soothing the tired muscles. Kyousuke had been learning from Tomo how to do front and back handsprings and was incorporating them into his curtain call. Kikumaru was the team acrobat, after all, and the crowd loved it.

The crowd loved _them_. The 4th-generation Seigaku had easily become the most popular yet, and the venues they played were packed. The first series of their Tenimyu life was more than half over, hard as it was to believe, but the entire team had been hired for the next run. So Kyousuke was at least assured more time with his new boyfriend, no matter how the _Takumi-kun_ audition might go. The boy was nervous about the upcoming event anyway...though not right now.

"Nnn...Dai-chan..."

In response, the elder removed the younger's pajama bottoms and underwear, baring him completely, but did not touch below the waist. Kyousuke tried to press his groin to Daisuke's, but he was gently but firmly held back. He made a questioning noise.

"I just want to see how far I can take you," Daisuke sighed, between sucking a nipple. "Want to see how good I can make you feel. Do you feel good?"

"Nnn...yes."

And he did, despite his impatience. It felt good to be kept aroused, with a faint but exhilarating pain in his crotch, a need to be brought off and spill. He felt almost like he was dreaming or high, sometimes unable to keep his eyes open. Daisuke responded by kissing his pale eyelids, all over his face, finally leaving the nipples for fear of hurting the boy. He captured the lips and claimed them thoroughly, only drawing back when they needed air.

"Dai-chan..."

"I wanted to see if I could make you come without touching it," the man admitted. "But that's okay. How do you want to come, baby?"

"Now," the boy said at once.

Daisuke, with a laugh, enclosed the swollen cock in his hand and slowly pumped. Finally it was over quickly, with come splattering Daisuke's pants. He didn't care, shrugging them off and using them to clean both bodies up. He then stroked the pink cheeks while the boy caught his breath, frowning after a few minutes. "Be right back, baby," and the next moment, a thermometer was being pushed into his mouth.

"Nnn?"

"You're still warm. I'm just checking." Daisuke watched the little screen. "It's going down, but still a bit high. I shouldn't have - "

"I'm fine. I liked it."

But the boy ended up swallowing two Tylenol and with a cold wet washcloth on his forehead after bing moved to the unsoiled bed. Being very easily chilled due to his slightness, the boy pouted and shivered.

"Do I have to keep this on?"

Daisuke pulled a comforter over him, which helped. "Better?"

"Nnn, now I can't feel you."

Daisuke got under the blanket and pulled the nude body to his own warm skin. "How's that?"

"Much better."

"You can go to sleep, baby, I've got you."

"I want to stay awake. I want to feel you hold me."

"You know I'll do it as often as I can."

"It'll never be enough."

"I love you," Daisuke murmured into his lips.

"Do you believe I love you?"

"I do. I'm ridiculously happy."

"Were you ever with guys before me?"

Daisuke hummed. "A couple flings in university with gay guy friends. A few girls too, but I was never much for casual sex."

"You're a romantic," Kyousuke agreed.

"You don't mind there were others?"

"Uh-uh. It's not like I'm a virgin either."

"Baby."

"I'm okay. I don't mean to make you sad."

Daisuke stroked his hair. "Have you remembered anything more?"

A sniffle.

"Honey, tell me."

"Hazukashii."

"Nothing you can say will make it your fault." Daisuke made a guess to spare him saying it. "Part of it felt good?"

"J-Just a little. How'd you know?"

"I did some research on male rape. It's not uncommon to get aroused during it. It doesn't remotely mean you wanted it."

"Promise?" It sounded almost too good to be true.

"I swear," Daisuke said, and felt a little residual tension leaving the embraced body. "Maybe Tomo's right, playing Takumi might be good for you. He said you have an understanding of the character he didn't."

"He was so good, though."

"You could be too. And Takumi is supposed to be beautiful, no one could beat you at that."

"I'm not," Kyousuke said, as he always did.

"You are."

"Am not."

"Have you never looked in a mirror?"

Kyousuke shoved him. "I'm reading for Morita. I'll still get to be on set with you if I get it."

Daisuke frowned. "And if I get Gii, I have to grope someone else. You really want me to do that?"

Another sniffle.

"Will you think about it?"

"Yes."

The boy was drifting off, though he didn't want to. Daisuke removed the lukewarm washcloth and kissed his forehead. "Sleep, baby. I've got you."

 _Yuya's right. Something's got to get your self-confidence up._ It was ridiculous to Daisuke that someone so gorgeous and talented didn't properly appreciate himself. _But I won't force you. No one's forcing you to do anything again._

 _daimaodaimaodaimao_

Kyousuke shuffled the script pages nervously. As he had come for a private audition and not a open casting call, at least the waiting room was not crowded. There were only a few other boys, all older than himself, all good-looking, all ignoring one another as they prepared. Two were absorbed in their scripts. One was holding his hand out to an imagined Suzuki, trying to make himself cry with limited success.

 _Should I try that?_ He was able to cry on command. The rape had at least left him with that. _The library scene would be easier but less impressive. I wonder if they've cast Takumi yet._ Jealousy tightened his insides. He knew Daisuke's audition had been earlier that day, but they hadn't spoken yet. He had no doubt Daisuke would get Gii, and the man had been right. _I don't want to see him grope anyone else. I hope I don't have to be on set those days._

"Hamao Kyousuke-kun?"

He jumped in fright, and trembled as he followed a smiling woman wearing a baseball cap into a mostly-empty room. He was directed to a single chair facing a row of 3 men. To his confusion, all 3 stared at him for what felt like several minutes before the one in the center whispered quickly to the others, then addressed the boy.

"Hamao-kun, my name is Yokoi. I'll be directing 'Niji Iro no Garasu.'"

"Hajimemashite. Yoroshiku onegaishimasu." Kyousuke bowed politely from his seat.

The producer and casting director flanking Yokoi exchanged surprised looks before nudging Yokoi. "I know, I know," the middle man said softly. "Hamao-kun, I understand you've come to read for Morita."

"Hai, Sensei."

"Why are you interested in that particular part?"

The question was unexpected. "Ano...I guess...I liked the first movie of the series and would like to be a part of this one."

"Would you be willing to read for Takumi instead?"

A combination of excitement and panic swept through Kyousuke, and his large eyes widened attractively. _They haven't cast Takumi? They think I could do it? Could I do it? What if Dai-chan isn't Gii? I don't want anyone else to touch me._

The men were watching him carefully, approving silently of how adorable he was when flustered. The boy was ridiculously attractive, so much so that none of them even considered him for a part smaller than the lead role. The teenager glowed gently with vulnerability and apprehension, lovely innocence mixed with a sense that he had himself been hurt before.

"Um...all right." _I can run if I need to. I can leave if I need to._

"Miku, please send in our new Giichi."

 _What if it's not Dai-chan? Please be Dai-chan._

When Daisuke came into the room, Kyousuke visibly deflated of fear, gave the approaching man a smile to match his boyfriend's. Yokoi noticed the two young men looking at each other with love, and his mind was made up. If the beautiful boy had any acting ability at all, they had to have him for Takumi.

"It seems you know each other."

"We've been doing Tenimyu together." Unable to help himself, Daisuke lifted Kyousuke up in a warm hug. "I'm so glad to see you here, Mao-kun." Much softer, he said, "Don't be scared, honey."

"I'm not now," the teenager whispered back.

The casting director leaned into Yokoi. "They're dripping with chemistry and that kid is gorgeous. We have to have him."

The producer nodded, but Yokoi needed just a little further proof. He had the two young men do the scene where Gii reveals Suzuki's illness to Takumi, noting how sad the younger boy could make himself appear, then the part where Takumi runs from Gii, tells him off, and is silenced with a reassuring kiss. When their lips touched, both seemed completely at ease, enough to make Yokoi suspect they'd done it before.

"I think we've seen enough. Hamao-kun, would you accept the part of Hayama Takumi?"

Kyousuke's jaw dropped open. Grinning, Daisuke looped an arm around his waist and tugged him closer. They looked at each other, Kyousuke nervously but seeming to draw strength from the elder's affectionate gaze.

"O-Okay."

The producer and casting director high-fived behind Yokoi, who said, "Of course, we'll need your parents' permission, because there are some intimate scenes. If they are agreeable, would you be all right with that?"

 _Dai-chan. Touching Dai-chan._ "Yes, Sensei."

"We're going to give you a copy of the full script and show you some storyboards of the intimate scenes before you commit to this. It's a lot to ask for someone your age. You said you've seen the first movie, would that much touching at least be okay with you?"

"Yes, Sensei," Kyousuke said, sounding confident.

"Then follow us, and congratulations."

The moment the filmmakers were looking away, Daisuke stole a quick kiss. "See? This was destined to be."

"My parents might say no. Aniki will freak out," the boy said dejectedly.

"Leave that to me."

 _daimaodaimaodaimao_

The Hamao family was thrilled to have their youngest child home for a week's break, though surprised when Kyousuke chose to audition for a movie that he admitted was a BL, but quickly assured it was not for an intimate part. Masanori and Masako were indulgent parents, but the news Kyousuke brought back from the audition took them aback. They welcomed Daisuke, who came with Kyousuke, with tea and cookies, slightly reassured by his charming smile. Kyousuke, for his part, was trembling with anxiety as his parents flipped through the script.

 _Thank God Aniki isn't home._

"Kyou-chan," Masanori said, in his usual kind voice, "you told us you were auditioning for a minor part."

"I was...but they asked me to read for Takumi. I don't know why."

"It looks like a good movie," Masako observed. "But..."

Her husband finished the thought. "Kyou-chan, we're a bit concerned about these...intimate scenes." He went on hastily when the teenager's face dropped to look at his lap. "We're not saying no. But we do need to talk about it."

"Honey, do you feel like you can do something like these scenes, when you don't have experience with it?"

The boy bit his lip. He was not about to tell his mother and father that he was not only experienced, but no longer a virgin.

"I don't know if it would be good for you to have these experiences for the first time on camera," Masanori said, with some difficulty. "I don't want you to end up regretting it."

"I won't," Kyousuke managed to squeak out. "There's no nudity or anything, no s-sex."

"I still don't know. You'd really be okay with a male touching you like that? For everyone to see?"

"I-I think I'm..."

"Son, we know you prefer guys." Masanori made a hushing noise when the boy started. "You've never shown an interest in girls and you're asking us to let you do a BL movie. We're fine with you being gay. I just don't think I want you fondled on camera."

Kyousuke looked down again, and two tears dropped. Daisuke wished he could kiss him, instead putting an arm around him.

"I think this is where I come in," the actor said with a forced laugh. "You've both been kind enough to let me watch over Mao-kun during the musical."

"We're so grateful, Dai-chan," Masako said sincerely. "Kyou-chan can't say enough good things about you. We were clearly right to trust you with him."

"Yes, we're very grateful. Thank you, Dai-chan."

"I should thank _you_ for my adorable new little brother." Daisuke squeezed Kyousuke, which made the sad boy smile. "I'm hoping you might trust me with your son again for this movie. I of course will watch over him and make sure nothing happens to him."

The parents exchanged concerned glances. Masako gave voice to their worry.

"Dai-chan, we trust you and have become fond of you. But...you are considerably older than Kyou-chan."

"True." Another forced laugh. "But it's not like we're dating or anything. We'll just be practicing and acting together. If anything...well...better and safer it be me than someone who might get confused and develop romantic feelings, right?"

"Anata, he does have a point."

"Kyou-chan, you have such a hard time saying no. What if it becomes too much for you?"

Daisuke answered. "I've told Mao-kun very sternly that he's to tell me whenever he gets uncomfortable. I promise you, I would never push him or pressure him or hurt him in any way, and I won't let anyone else."

Masako smiled, seeing the sincerity in the young man's face and eyes, and privately wished he were younger and a potential son-in-law. Masanori still looked reluctant.

"Dad, I really will be okay. I know you're worried about me, but I'm almost seventeen and I think I can handle what I'm being asked to do. I am nervous, but Dai-chan has been wonderful to me and I trust him completely. Please trust that I know what I want, and please let me do this movie."

The strength in the small boy's voice, his resolute expression, was more than Masanori had ever seen in his shy son. He looked at his wife, then back to Kyousuke, and sighed.

"Okay. If you're sure you can handle it, then okay."

"Really? Thank you!"

Kyousuke grabbed his parents into a hug, was gently lifted up by them as Daisuke watched with relief. When the boy returned to his boyfriend, he was enclosed in a warm, chaste-looking embrace.

"See? I told you they'd trust you, kid."

"And they trust _you_. Thank you, Buchou."

"I'm just glad we get to work together even more."

"Yeah. If..."

"If?"

"If I can convince Aniki not to kill you."

"We'll do our best to calm him," Masanori laughed, "but your brother is a force of nature, as you know, Kyou-chan. Dai-chan, please accept our apologies in advance for anything Shinnosuke might say. He's extremely protective of Kyou-chan."

"No worries." Daisuke smiled. "I know the feeling."

 _daimaodaimaodaimao_

This meeting was so much tenser than the one with his parents had been. And he didn't have Daisuke to comfort him, because if Shinnosuke's concerned frown was any indication, he was not feeling well-disposed toward the actor. Kyousuke twisted his hands in his lap as he watched his sibling page through the script.

Flip. "Not too bad." Flip. "Unnecessary touch." Flip. "I see no need for a kiss here." Flip, frown. "Am I reading this right?"

"Um..."

"Kyou-chan, it looks here like Watanabe-san is planning to push you down onto a bed and unbutton your shirt."

 _Nothing he hasn't done before._ "It's just acting, Aniki."

"Does it get any more...intimate...than this?"

"Um..."

Scowling, Shinnosuke skimmed the sheaf of papers, and stopped to glare with disbelieving eyes. He began to read the stage directions in a very tense voice.

"'Pinned by Gii's forceful hands, Takumi accepts defeat and puts his arms around him. Gii captures his lips, coaxes them to open. Fade out and in, close-up. Once unclothed above the waist, they kiss with increasing heat. Another fade in, Takumi lays on his side with Gii behind, stroking him feverishly, unable get enough of him. His lips and fingers wander all over Takumi's fair skin, kissing and caressing him with need. Their lips meet occasionally, but Gii seems intent on...'"

Shinnosuke dropped the script onto his bed and wearily placed his head in his hands. Feeling terrible, Kyousuke went to him and squeezed his shoulder. Unsurprisingly, Shinnosuke pulled his little brother onto his lap with a sigh. Kyousuke hugged him and accepted the affectionate petting he was so accustomed to.

"Aniki, I'm sorry this is hard on you, really."

"You won't change your mind?"

"I really want to do it. And Touchan and Kaachan said it's okay."

"I don't like it. For starters, you barely know this guy."

 _Actually, he said he wants to marry me._ "Dai-chan has become my best friend. I trust him and he's nearly as protective as you. Eventually you two will get along, you're so alike."

"You shouldn't be having your first intimate touches - "

"What, before I'm thirty? That again?"

"I was going to say, in front of people. On camera. For the whole world to see."

"I don't mind. Anyway, they're Takumi's experiences, not mine. It's different."

"Watanabe-san is a decade older than you. It's not appropriate for him to be touching you."

 _He loves me._ "Our characters are the same age. Aniki, are you bothered by this because it's a guy, not a girl, with me?"

"I know you're gay, that's not the issue." Laughing shortly, Shinnosuke caught the startled boy before he fell. "I've seen you looking at guys. No, it's because I don't know if you can handle this. Kyou-chan, how many times has stuff like this nearly been forced on you?"

The boy looked down, away from the hand that stroked his cheek. "This is different. I want this. I trust Dai-chan and I swear you can too. I'll be fine."

"You don't think you're a bit young for this?"

"Takumi is about my age. If it's okay for him..."

Shinnosuke frowned at the script. "That poor child. That's another thing that bothers me. I remember the previous movie...what's wrong with him."

Kyousuke tried to smile. "Think what a great challenge it'll be for me, playing someone with a _bad_ big brother."

"Flatterer." Shinnosuke patted the boy's hip. "I know you don't love people touching you, so I guess that won't be hard."

"Tomo says he can help me with that too." Feeling he was winning, Kyousuke went in for the kill by snuggling against his brother, which always pleased the elder. "Dai-chan's really the best person for me to act with in terms of safety. He won't even let me go to the bathroom alone."

Shinnosuke stroked a handful of fine black hair. "Kyou-chan, are you _sure_ you can handle this?"

"I promise."

"Will you promise not to do anything that makes you uncomfortable?"

"I promise. Dai-chan has me under orders to stop him if he does anything I don't like."

Sinnosuke wrapped his arms tightly around the boy, as if he could hide him, always wanting to. But he also nodded, albeit reluctantly.

"...okay. But if you have a single nightmare - "

Kyousuke kissed his brother's cheek. "You're the best."

"I don't think I'll be able to watch this one, though. I reserve the right to break the bones of any pervert fanboys who try to get near you. And you're still not dating till you're thirty."

"I love you, Aniki."

"You're everything to me, Kyou-chan."

The boy guiltily hid his face in a hug. He had always confided more in his brother than anyone else. He wished so much he could tell Shinnosuke about being in love.

 **To be continued.**

 **I have no idea how long this story will be, in case anyone was wondering. I'll make it as long as I can. Thanks for reading, and won't you consider leaving a review?**


	13. Chapter 13

_I'm sorry! I know this is crazy overdue. I've been insanely busy with work, school, surgeries, et cetera. Hopefully I've got my mojo back now…we'll see._

 _Warning – adult and sexual situations, not all consensual. You've been warned_

 **HATSUKOI  
Chapter 13**

The week-long break flew by, with Kyousuke spending time with his family and boyfriend. He took motorcycle rides with Shinnosuke, helped his father do minor repairs on his boat, and visited an onsen with Daisuke, who was as vigilant as ever and nearly got into a fistfight with an older guy who whistled at a Kyousuke wearing nothing but a towel. The boy stepped between them and gently tugged Daisuke to the private bath they had reserved. The elder was scowling and muttering as they got into the water and he put a washcloth on his head.

"I'm sorry, Dai-chan."

"Sorry? For what?"

"Them. Him. You getting upset."

"It's not you, honey. It's just me being possessive, I guess," Daisuke weakly laughed it off.

"You're worried about me."

"I love you. Worry is part of that."

"Do you think," Kyousuke whispered, "that…it will happen again?"

"Oh, baby, no. I don't think that at all."

"The man said he hoped he would see me again."

"He's not going to," Daisuke said firmly. "And once you remember who took you to him, I'll make sure they're taken care of."

"But – "

"You remember yet? Who they were?"

"No. Dai-chan, I don't want you to get in any trouble."

"I don't want to put you through a trial."

"I just want it all to go away."

Daisuke stroked his hair, dampening it. "I know, honey. It will eventually."

"Really?"

"Well, it will get easier and seem farther away as time goes on."

"But you want me to keep trying, right?"

"I know it's unpleasant, but it's to keep you safe."

Kyousuke shivered. "I hate to think someone I trusted did that to me."

"I know you don't remember who they were, but is there anyone you feel uncomfortable around now that you didn't before?"

"N-No."

"Mao-kun, tell me."

"What if I'm wrong?"

"I won't hurt anyone until you're certain. Please."

The boy sighed, looked down at the water. "Oga-senpai."

"What exactly does it feel like?"

"Just…I feel scared when I look at him and I don't know why."

"If it was him, it would have been with Makita. Shit, that makes sense."

"Dai-chan?"

The elder wrung his hands. "Makita's been looking sick for weeks and the two of them barely talk anymore. Mao, are you okay?"

The boy was swaying a little, a voice echoing in his head. _"Please promise again you won't hurt him."_ Daisuke pulled the nude boy into his arms, felt him shivering in the humid air.

"Baby?"

"Oh, _God_." The teenager's voice broke, and he pressed his now weeping eyes against Daisuke's bare shoulder. "Makita- senpai felt bad but Oga-senpai said he was paid so much…Haneda, his name was Haneda and he wouldn't stop, h-he…"

"It's okay." Literally shaking with rage, Daisuke rocked the boy with a forced calm, the most difficult acting he'd ever done. "I swear, you're safe now."

"D-Don't do anything."

"I won't do anything you don't want."

Surprising the elder, Kyousuke kissed him, clung to him, seemed to desperately need the intimacy. Daisuke knew they were about to do something forbidden even in the private onsens, but all he cared about was Kyousuke. He sat down on one of the underwater steps and settled the boy straddling him, letting Kyousuke make the kiss as deep and passionate as he wanted, and stroked the wet-silk body all over. He wasn't sure if this was what was healthiest for the kid right now, but Kyousuke seemed to need it, so he met the slippery tongue with his own, stroked the body all over until they were both as hard as the rocks arranged around the water.

"Baby," Daisuke groaned as he kissed the flushed neck. "What do you want, baby?"

"F-Fingers."

That gave Daisuke pause. "Are you _sure_?"

" _Please_."

He was clearly begging, and he should never have to. Daisuke grabbed the convenient bottle of bath oil someone had left to messily spill some over his hand. His fingers circled Kyousuke's opening a little, prepared to abort in case of panic, but the boy eagerly moved his hips back toward the touch.

"In, in, please."

Daisuke was briefly reminded of a medical article he'd read that advocated masturbation for chronic pain. He gently slid two fingers in a circle around the little hole, trying to ease its tightness, ease the want that itself seemed urgent to the point of pain. Kyousuke rubbed his face against his boyfriend's neck and enticingly rode the thigh he was sitting on. He was hard, but this time, clearly a handjob would not satisfy.

"In, in!"

Praying he was doing the right thing, Daisuke gently pushed a digit past the resistant muscle and into the intense wet heat. Kyousuke shuddered with what seemed to be incredible relief, and rocked back to make it go deeper. So encouraged, Daisuke found he was able to make the hungry slit take another finger, all while Kyousuke moaned with approval. He located the prostate easily, knowing he was there when the boy cried out with pleasure and tears, saying "Yes, yes," even as he wept like his sadness was being purged.

The pleasure was all he could offer right now, and Daisuke determinedly arranged his fingers around the little gland and rubbed it between them, making it pulse like a reassuring heartbeat. It was the most intimate thing the couple had done so far, and it should have been odd to be doing it in only relative privacy, but it felt right to have part of himself inside this thrusting body, making it feel good, easing the hurt this poor boy had been carrying. It seemed like he had been finger-fucking the boy for hours before Kyousuke gasped, "Dai-chan…need to…"

He understood, deftly guided the boy to lay on the wet stone without pulling his hand out. He continued to jab the prostate while watching the erect penis quiver and leak before he took it into his mouth. Daisuke kept his eyes open so he could worship the jerking body splayed out before him. He now had three calloused fingers enveloped by Kyousuke's silky walls and was giving the needy body the slightly rough attention it wanted, miming the thrusting of actual fucking. He was sure Kyousuke would have welcomed the real thing, but the elder hadn't realized he was hard until one look at the younger's aroused expression sent him into a spontaneous and largely ignored orgasm.

Kyousuke himself seemed to be holding back, though Daisuke wasn't sure how, considering the boy's youth and how furiously he was being stimulated. It wasn't until Daisuke's free hand enclosed the kid's fingers that Kyousuke let out a strangled cry and began to spurt.

As always, he somehow tasted faintly floral, and spurted slowly enough to savor as Daisuke swallowed. He slowed the motions of his fingers to be gentle, now just encouraging the climax to finish satisfactorily for Kyousuke. The lithe body's shaking gradually eased, until it was over and all that was left was a tremble that was calming with each moment. After tasting the last sweet drop, Daisuke moved over Kyousuke to check his face, relieved to find a smile beneath the tears.

"Baby?"

"Thank you." Kyousuke weakly pulled his boyfriend down for an awkward hug, with Daisuke trying not to put weight on him. "I'm okay."

"You sure?"

"Please don't do anything."

The elder sighed. "I don't want people to find out either, but I can't let them walk around free and unpunished, and you not safe."

"Maki-senpai is punishing himself enough."

"What about Ogasawara? At the very least, we need him out of the musical."

Kyousuke leaned into the hand caressing his cheek. "How?"

"I have an idea…but it will require a little outside help."

 _daimaodaimaodaimao_

"So, I take it you've changed your mind about my offer?"

"That friends-with-benefits thing? Why do you think so?"

Ogasawara gestured to the nearly empty storage room with his usual cocky grin. "Why else would you want to see me so privately?"

Tomo wrinkled his nose, though he usually tried to avoid looking cute. "You think I'd want to fuck anyone, much less you, in here?"

The elder actor scowled. "What do you want, then?"

"I want you out. I want you to quit the musical, quit acting entirely, and never show your face in Tokyo again."

"Why the hell would I do that?"

"Because I had a very informative chat with your former best friend. It turned out Makita just couldn't handle keeping your secrets any longer."

Ogasawara went very still. His eyes seemed to grow bigger and brighter, though not with tears, and not quite with fear either. He then forced a laugh.

"Secret? Me? I'm an open book."

"You will be to your cellmates when they find out you facilitated the rape of a 16-year-old boy."

The bravado and color left the arrogant face. "I…"

"Please, do. Tell me what reasons you have for doing the worst thing possible to a kid we're supposed to be protecting."

"It wasn't just me. Maki-"

"Has told us everything and agreed he won't be returning to the show. I think it's pretty generous to offer you the same deal, considering Buchou wants to rip your throat out with his teeth. You have MaoMao to thank for your worthless life, because that kid is kinder than the rest of us."

"He would have been raped eventually anyway. I made sure his first time was gentle. Buchou's just pissed he didn't get to fuck MaoMao first." Ogasawara displayed a cold smile. "You should have seen it. It was hot."

Tomo was literally shaking with anger. "You don't even feel bad. You're not even afraid for your own skin?"

"Why? No one would let MaoMao go through a trial. I'm in no danger of being arrested, or killed by Buchou. He won't risk going to prison and leaving precious MaoMao unprotected for me to finally get to sample."

Tomo's normally pretty eyes were ice-cold. "You're never getting near that kid again."

"You volunteering to take his place?" Leering, Ogasawara began to approach him. "I bet you could satisfy me even better…or are you damaged too? Let's roleplay, _Takumi_."

Tomo was quick, but not fast enough. In an instant, Ogasawara had grabbed his arm and forced him to the floor. With one hand he pinned Tomo's wrists to his chest, with the other reached roughly between his legs.

"I'll show you how the scene should have gone. I'm gonna fuck you bloody and make you like it. And you're gonna let me if you want me to leave MaoMao alone."

Tomo glared at him defiantly, but was unable to break the grip on his arms. Ogasawara roughly shoved a hand into his jeans.

"Yeah, fight me, there's no Gii to come save you now, your pretty little ass is all mine."

Tomo merely gave him a cold smile. Confused, Ogasawara pushed the younger actor's shirt up, and froze. Tomo was wearing a wire. He shoved the would-be rapist off, stood up, and brushed himself off.

"You can come in now, Kei."

A handsome actor Ogasawara recognized came in with murder in his eyes, and made a beeline straight for the criminal. Tomo got in the way and held him back.

"Remember the plan. If Dai-chan isn't killing him, neither are you."

"After what he just did, you really expect me to do nothing?"

"Did you record everything he said?"

"Yes."

Tomo rolled his eyes. "Well, if you still want to roleplay, I suppose you can challenge him to a race or something."

Undaunted by his boyfriend's sarcasm, Kato Keisuke pulled him into a hug. "You're sure you're okay?"

"Don't underestimate Takumis. We're stronger than we look."

"I know." Kei looked coldly at a frightened Ogasawara. "He can only hold me back for so long. If you value your manhood and life, you'll get out of my sight permanently."

As Ogasawara staggered clumsily to his feet, Tomo clarified. "You're quitting Tenimyu right now, with no notice. Go back to wherever you came from, because if I ever see you in Tokyo, I'll make sure you're punished for what you did."

Like a dog with a tail between his legs, the disgraced actor nodded and slunk out without a word. As usual, only when they were alone did Tomo breathe a sigh of relief.

"Thank you for not interrupting earlier than planned."

"It was fucking hard."

"I know. Remember how many times we had to do that scene? You couldn't wait long enough to pull Nozaki off poor Takumi."

"Because by then I was already in love with you." Kei rubbed a soothing circle into his lover's back. "Are you really okay?"

"Oh, yeah. Nostalgic, actually. Maybe I'll finally agree to roleplay, now that our roles have been officially passed on."

Kei rested a hand on the back of Tomo's neck, not entirely convinced and needing to touch him. "Is the kid going to be okay?"

"I don't know if anyone fully recovers from something like that. I can't think who better to help than Dai-chan, though. He's protection personified and head over heels for the kid."

"And now they've taken over our old roles, perfect Gii and beautiful Takumi. I think they'll fit well. Awful as it's been for them, they've got hurt/comfort experience. Mao-kun will have an even easier time with the haphephobia than you."

"It wasn't easy."

"I couldn't tell. You make everything look easy," Kei teased.

"What you mean is I _am_ easy," Tomo laughed back.

"Are you kidding? I had to chase you through the whole shoot to get you to give me a chance. Although you're awfully cute when you're stubborn."

"You know I hate that word."

"It _was_ cute, with you snapping at me that just because you do BLs doesn't make you gay and you didn't need another person in your life trying to grope you – "

"And ever since, you've been ready at a moment's notice to attack anyone who looks at me," Tomo sighed.

"We Giis are very serious about our Takumis."

"Stupid Takumi. Because of him you've got this image of me as a damsel in distress when all it really is is the occasional chikan on the subway. You should see what poor MaoMao goes through."

Kei looped an arm around Tomo's waist and slid his other hand into the shorter's hair. "As you said, he's in good hands. And we'll help Dai-chan and the boy any way we can. The four of us form a very exclusive club, after all."

"I hope you're not counting on a future foursome," Tomo said dryly. "To me, he's almost literally a baby."

"You know you're the only one I want to touch," Kei said, smiling as he stroked his lover's cheek.

Tomo batted him away. "Me, not Takumi? Are you going to stop asking me to roleplay?"

"Nope. Takumi was such a sweet side of you, it brought out all my protectiveness. But if I had to choose, I'd pick you over anything else."

 _Damn you for being so charming._ Tomo sighed. "Well…I do still have my uniform."

 **To be continued.**


	14. Chapter 14

_Gomen! It's been so hard to find the right mood (plus low enough level of pain) to write. I really will try to do better._

 _Blah, more of the same, you know what to expect from me by now. No kiddies allowed._

 **HATSUKOI  
Chapter 14**

The Tenimyu that Daisuke and Kyousuke returned to was definitely a safer environment. Ryokyou and Masuda were obviously displeased that Makita and Ogasawara had quit with no notice or reason, but their understudies Masato and Akira happily took up the roles and seemed to get along well with everyone. Most importantly to Daisuke, they were both straight and showed Kyousuke nothing but platonic friendliness. The boy himself still battled the occasional nightmare, but was much more at ease with the culprits gone.

About the actual rapist, the boy insisted on doing nothing. Having a name and recalling the face would have allowed him to track the man down, but still, no one was interested in pursuing legal action. To ease Daisuke's mind, Kyousuke did see a doctor, one who didn't know him, for a general check-up and STD testing. He was pronounced healthy, encouraged to see a therapist, and promised he'd consider it. He was far more interested, though, in his relationship and running lines for the upcoming _Takumi-kun_ film, which would be shot during the period between the current musical and the next.

The rest of the cast gently teased Kyousuke and Daisuke for being in the lovey-dovey honeymoon phase of their romance, but were supportive as well, though Daisuke was needlessly cautioned a few times to be careful with their older baby. Shogo and Taka were teased too; it was a running joke that they were a secret couple, but those who knew the truth gave their approval by pretending ignorance. The pair were happy, though Shogo continued to push for more physical intimacy and Taka kept on affectionately denying him. Tomo remained his sarcastic, snarky self, occasionally breaking into fits of annoyance when flowers arrived from his not-so-secret secret boyfriend. Their entrapment of Ogasawara had put Keisuke in a protective mood and he often phoned to check on Tomo, instead calling Daisuke when Tomo hung up on him.

"You should be happy," Yuuta tried to say to Tomo. "It shows he loves you."

"It shows he needs to get a hobby other than stalking me," the younger grumbled. But Tomo did sometimes spend his breaks enduring Kei's sappy phone conversations.

The show continued to do remarkably well, more successful than all the previous generations, and they received rave reviews and packed houses. There was a certain level of renown that came with this, with the intensity and reaction to it varying by actor. Daisuke was somewhat well-known already and seemed unaffected by fame. Yuuta, once he got used to it, appreciated the attention and was kind to the fangirls. Tomo, being already famous, shrugged off the affection showed to him, while Shogo absolutely reveled in it, flirting with his admirers though he truthfully only had eyes for Taka.

Kyousuke felt conflicted. He appreciated the adulation, but his traumatic experience left him a bit frightened of fans. He spoke to and took photos with them only under his boyfriend's careful supervision, and avoided reading reviews because their descriptions of him were embarrassing, and the same with official and fan web sites. The boy was more interested in the upcoming film role, and sought out Tomo for advice on how to play Takumi.

"The most important thing is that you shouldn't feel you have to copy me. Make the role your own. Create Takumi from scratch."

"I guess I won't have to fake the anxiety."

"See? You're already a step ahead of me," Tomo encouraged, with uncharacteristic sincerity. "How do you see Takumi?"

"Damaged, I guess?"

"But willing to be with Gii no matter how scary it is."

Kyousuke finally smiled a little. "He's strong."

"You'd have to be to live with what his brother did."

"I'm kind of uncomfortable with that. I know it doesn't come up in this movie, but Yokoi-sensei says it will if we do sequels. He wants at some point to redo the scene where Takumi tells Gii."

Tomo nodded. "You call your brother Aniki?"

"Yes."

"Takumi uses Niisan. Just keep them separate in your head. I know it'll be hard, but remember, you aren't Takumi. At the same time, if you can use your experiences while playing him, do. Every time you're touched, remember a time when you didn't want to be. That's what I did, at least. I just thought of chikan or producers who tried to be a little too _friendly_."

Kyousuke looked a bit sad. "You almost seem like it doesn't bother you."

"Some people get used to that sort of thing, others don't. You're just more sensitive, that's not a bad thing. As I told Dai-chan, you'll bring an understanding to Takumi I didn't have. He's pretty sensitive too." Satisfied that the boy looked happier, Tomo switched subjects. "I know there's some intimacy in the script. Are you feeling okay about that?"

"Well…um…we…"

"Are intimate, yeah, I figured." Tomo smirked at the boy's blush. "This is another thing that bothers some and not others, or maybe I'm just so used to being groped on camera that I no longer expect anything else. It can be hard, especially for someone so young."

"You're not much older than – "

Tomo ignored him and went on. "You're lucky on a few counts. It's only a couple scenes, you're only half-naked, it's Dai-chan, and it looks like he's doing all the work."

Kyousuke looked concerned. "I don't like the thought of pushing all the responsibility on Dai-chan."

"It's just how these things are done. The innocently uke is gently coerced into accepting touches, the seme is the one who initiates."

"Why?"

"Good question. To make him more innocent, I guess, not that you need that. In your case, Takumi is too damaged and scared to make the first move. You see in the script how forceful Gii has to be to get anything. You look worried, baby."

"It's just…what if I can't seem afraid enough? I _like_ when Dai-chan touches. I feel safe."

"Don't worry," Tomo said dryly. "I've invented this thing called _acting_. It means you pretend emotions that aren't your own."

Kyousuke glared at him, but it was like being stared down by a flower. Tomo found himself imagining the boy in a Shidou uniform, feigning Takumi's illness, adding his own timidity to the broken character. Gii was the bandage around Takumi's heart just as Dai-chan had become to Kyousuke. There was no chance this movie wouldn't be a hit, spawn sequels, launch Dai-chan and Mao-kun as at least a fictional power couple. Fame was already making the kid uncomfortable.

 _Am I doing the right thing, having pushed him into that?_ "Most importantly, MaoMao, remember you have a lot of people who love you and who you'd better lean on if you need us. Okay?"

Kyousuke was surprised to hear something so touching from his sarcastic castmate. "Thank you, Tomo-san. I can come to you if I have questions?"

"Any time."

"Is the movie how you and Kato-san got together?"

Tomo made a face. "Kind of. He flirted with me from the very beginning, but it took me a while to be sure he wasn't just getting in character."

"Why don't you like people knowing you're together? He's so nice, and handsome," Kyousuke said, despite the fact that Keisuke had patted his head and called him adorable.

"Well, I don't want to play innocent boytoys forever. And my agency doesn't want it public anyway."

Kyousuke looked down. "My agency says I need permission to openly date anyone. I haven't told them about Dai-chan."

"Don't bother, they'd never let you be public about him. A guy, and so much older, you know? Does your family know?"

The boy sighed. "I wish they could. I usually don't keep things from my parents. I mean, I think they'd come around, they like Dai-chan, but Aniki…"

"Brother-complex?"

"Big time. He treats me like a damsel in distress."

 _Aren't you, though?_ Tomo thought, but smiled and said nothing.

 _daimaodaimaodaimao_

The last show of the run approached, but their work was far from over. For two weeks after it, the Tenimyu cast would start their rehearsal for the next show, before the break during which _Takumi-kun: Niji Iro no Garasu_ would be shot. Still, as closing night neared, many hugs were shared and tears shed. The 4th-generation Seigaku had bonded closely, and many were making plans already to see each other over the break.

Taka had gotten the _Takumi-kun_ part of Suzuki, so the couple wouldn't be missing him, at least. Shogo had not been allowed to audition for Morita and was very grumpy, though Taka promised he would do no more than hold hands with his character's young crush. Trying to be supportive, the younger helped his boyfriend by running lines with him. By now, nearly everyone at least suspected Taka and Shogo were together, but all liked them too much to say it aloud and risk getting Taka in trouble.

Other members of the Seigaku dated casually, sometimes even fans, but no serious relationships were formed. Everyone's agencies instructed them to play the field, to appear available to their adoring public. Kyousuke was asked in multiple interviews about his ideal girl, and he vaguely answered that he liked short hair, sensitive eyes, funny personalities, good singing voices. Daisuke seemed incapable of not referencing his secret boyfriend's cuteness or beauty no matter who he was talking to, but for the most part, people oohed and awed over what a loving big brother he was. To keep up appearances, Daisuke was often seen giving Shogo piggyback rides during curtain calls.

The final performance of the run in Tokyo, however, was less light-hearted. To a round of huge applause, Daisuke even missed a line in the final song because he was so choked up. Several of the others had similar trouble, Taka even daring to pick Shogo up at the end when the kid couldn't hold back his tears. When the curtain finally went down and stayed down, Kyousuke threw his arms around a weeping Daisuke, and they embraced a long time at the center of a piled-on group hug. When the others finally pulled off, they politely looked away from the pair who were now passionately kissing.

While Daisuke went around to each teammate to give congratulations, Kyousuke hurried to retrieve his phone, as he'd promised Shinnosuke he'd call ASAP. To his surprise, there was a text from an unknown number. "When you're done, meet me in the right-side alley, Kyou-chan, for a surprise."

 _Aniki? Did he come tonight? He said he couldn't!_ Gleefully, the boy quickly hugged Yuya and hurried off. He knew where past the maze of curtains and a few hallways there was a door leading directly out, and he rushed to it and pushed out into the cool night.

"Aniki? Come on, don't hide. Why didn't you tell me you were – "

The words died in his throat when Ogasawara stepped out from behind a dumpster. The elder actor smiled tightly and said, "Surprise." Just in time, he aimed a taser, approached and said, "Don't even try to scream."

Someone behind Kyousuke suddenly looped an arm around him, and the voice from his nightmares said into his ear, "Don't be afraid, Kyousuke-kun. I've come to take you to a happy new life."

Unable to help it, the boy began to scream. A tight hand clapped over his mouth, and Haneda's strong embrace from behind withstood his struggling and awkward kicking. He was much weaker than the man and drained from the performance, and began to sob through the muffling palm as he began to be walked toward the back of the alley where a limo was parked.

"Ssh, no one's going to hurt you. I'll make sure no one ever hurts you."

Kyousuke felt detached, like he was floating over all this and not really part of it. Not until the fancy car's door opened did it sink in – _I'll never see Dai-chan again_. A surge of strength and will came from that unimaginable thought. Kyousuke bit down on the hand, spat out a mouthful of blood, and began to shriek his boyfriend's name.

He was never able afterwards to sort out the blur that followed. Ogasawara grabbed him, the boy slammed his fist into the ex-actor's groin, and in a blink of an eye Yuya was somehow there, holding Kyousuke and shouting over the kid's screaming that everything was okay. It seemed like ages for both of them before Kyousuke shakily asked, "Y-Yuya?"

"It's me, baby, I've got you."

Clasped in the elder's protective hug, Kyousuke turned toward the sound of a struggle. The limo and Haneda were gone, and Daisuke was furiously punching Ogasawara, not stopping when the latter collapsed to the asphalt. People rushed past them, and now Ryokyou and Masuda were pulling the fighters apart. Daisuke struggled at first to get to Ogasawara again, who was a bloody mess, but finally calmed enough to speak to the director and cast minder.

Kyousuke couldn't hear them at this distance; his hearing was fuzzy anyway. He could just make out Yuya gently reassuring him and asking if anything hurt.

"I-I'm s-sorry…"

Yuya didn't question the apology, assuming the boy himself didn't know why he was saying it. "Why did you come out here, honey?"

"T-Text…thought it…Aniki…I'm cold."

"I'll take you back in as soon as I can, but I don't dare take you out of Buchou's sight."

Ogasawara was now weakly holding himself up against the building, and Ryokyou and Masuda was talking heatedly to him. Despite what had happened, the criminal was such a bruised and bloody wreck Kyousuke was worried if he would be all right. Daisuke was jogging over, wiping his bloody knuckles off on his pants.

"Baby?" The voice still had a shaky fury in it, but was coming back to love. "Baby? Are you hurt? Yuya, is he hurt anywhere?"

"Doesn't seem to be. Just in shock, I think. He said he's cold."

Daisuke immediately stripped off his Seigaku jacket and handled Kyousuke as little as necessary to get it around him. He was still too enraged to trust himself to hold the boy, though he soothingly stroked messy hair away from the tear-streaked face.

'Don't do anything,' Kyousuke wanted to plead, but murderous red was still leaving Daisuke's eyes. "D-Don't get in t-trouble, please," was what he managed, though the boy knew it was likely too late. Now Daisuke was carefully squeezing up and down his arms and legs and asking if it hurt. It didn't, and Kyousuke shook his head, but he kept whimpering. He both wanted to hide in Daisuke's hold and to never be touched by anyone again.

Masuda approached, his usual humorous fluster subdued and pale. "Mao-kun, are you all right?"

Not trusting his voice, the boy nodded.

"Watanabe-kun, if we want to keep this out of court, the best we can do is let Ogasawara-kun go with the threat of legal action if he approaches the boy again. I think he'll comply, you've knocked all the will out of him."

"I want them in jail, both of them," the actor growled.

"You'd end up there too, after a full trial."

 _Trial?_ Kyousuke began to cry again and tried to hide as best he could within Yuya's hold. The elder gently rocked him and said, "Dai-chan, we can't put him through a trial. Even if he could handle it, his parents would – "

"I know," Daisuke sighed. "But that Haneda guy – "

Ryokyou broke in. "Is one of the richest and most respected businessman in Japan. If we go after him, he'll have the best lawyers, and the press will be all over it. Mao-kun, it's your decision. Do you want to press charges?"

Kyousuke furiously shook his head.

"For a while, at least, I'm going to assign security to you. I'll tell your parents we're doing it for everyone, if you don't plan to tell them about this."

Kyousuke's legs felt weak and buckled, and Yuya shifted a little to keep him upright. Daisuke, having calmed down, held out his arms, and Yuya passed the boy into them. Kyousuke started to tremble, though he also hugged Daisuke tightly. He still both wanted touch and was terrified of it.

 _It's Dai-chan. Why am I scared? It's Dai-chan._

"I'm taking him back to the hotel."

Yuya nodded. "I'll tell everyone MaoMao doesn't feel well, so you guys went ahead."

"Do you want to see a doctor, Mao-kun?" Ryokyou asked.

"N-No thank you. I'm okay."

Not bothering to ask permission, Daisuke slid an arm behind Kyousuke's knees and picked him up bridal-style. The boy didn't complain, as he didn't think he could walk on his own. He caught one last glance at Ogasawara, who was so bruised and covered in blood that he was unrecognizable. Kyousuke pitied him somehow, even though his senpai had tried to sell him to the man who raped him.

" _Pretty little baby boy."_ Kyousuke whimpered at the memory as he was gently settled onto the car seat, and Daisuke quickly got in beside him and lifted the teenager onto his lap. Kyousuke rested his chin on a shoulder and pressed his face against the leather back of the seat. One of Daisuke's arms was around his waist and the other was stroking up and down his arm. The Seigaku jacket he'd given Kyousuke was still around him over his own, and he didn't feel as cold anymore in the warm car.

Daisuke sensed the quiet was what Kyousuke might want at the moment, and didn't speak until they pulled up in front of the hotel. "Can you walk, baby?" He wanted to carry him, but didn't want to embarrass the boy.

"Uh-huh."

He was steady enough to walk, but only just. He was grateful for the arm around his waist, the body walking closely against his own. When they got to their room, Daisuke turned on the heat and helped Kyousuke out of the jackets. The younger didn't seem to be looking at anything, and his expression was blank. Daisuke tilted his chin up so their eyes met, and the boy managed a weak smile.

"Hi."

"Hi, baby. Do you think you could eat something?" Unsurprisingly, Kyousuke shook his head. "I want you to try later, even if it's something small. What do you want to do right now?"

"Shower." He felt dirty, both inside and out.

"I don't want you in there alone, you're still wobbly. How about we do it together?"

A ripple of fear went through Kyousuke, an aversion to being touched intimately. But he didn't want Daisuke to think he was afraid of him.

"O-Okay."

 _Is he afraid of me touching him? He usually clings after something like –_ Daisuke pushed the memory of anger down, ran his hand over the boy's hair, and grabbed both of their robes. He guided Kyousuke to the bathroom and undressed himself first, thinking his own nudity might ease the boy. Kyousuke looked him up and down; he liked the sight, but still shook a little when his costume top was lifted off of him. "It's okay, honey," Daisuke said gently, and unbuttoned the shorts. Kyousuke stepped out of them and let his socks be removed.

Daisuke touched the waistband of his underwear. "Is this okay?"

 _I don't know._ "Uh-huh."

Daisuke slid them down and off, praying he himself wouldn't get an erection from the sight. He turned on the hot water and gestured for Kyousuke to get under the warming spray. Abruptly, he gathered the boy into a hug, worrying when he started to shake again. _Okay._ Kyousuke took the bottle of shampoo from Daisuke and worked it into his hair himself, so Daisuke quickly washed his own hair and body. While Kyousuke used his conditioner, Daisuke squeezed liquid soap onto the loofah and briskly washed his boyfriend's skin, concerned that if he let Kyousuke do it he would be too rough.

Kyousuke stepped back into the rain of water and worked the conditioner out of his hair with his fingers, and let the spray clean all the soap off. As soon as he stepped out, Daisuke started to dry him. Kyousuke allowed this, because he sensed his boyfriend wanted to tend to him. He slipped his robe on and looked at Daisuke's body as the elder hurriedly toweled himself off. He found it as beautiful as ever, and told himself again to stop being afraid. _It's Dai-chan. I love him._ But he worried about how he'd react if the elder tried to be intimate with him.

He needn't have worried. Daisuke had no plans to do anything sexual tonight. Robe on, Daisuke sat Kyousuke on one of the beds and got a pair of pajamas for him. When he came back to the boy, Kyousuke, not really thinking about what he was doing, tentatively touched the belt of Daisuke's robe. Wondering what he was doing, Daisuke let him open it, but spoke when he realized what the boy was about to do.

"Honey, I don't know if that's good for you right now."

"I can't?"

"You can do whatever makes you feel better, but – "

He lost the words when Kyousuke's mouth closed around his flaccid penis. It hardened quickly, as though it had been eagerly waiting for permission, and Kyousuke put his arms around the half-bared waist and sucked slowly and gently, with relief finding that this act was still comforting. He moved his mouth as though the organ was a tongue he was kissing, and Daisuke felt like he might lose his mind. He softly rested one open hand on the nape of his young boyfriend's neck, and with the other stroked his wet hair and distended cheeks.

Kyousuke passionately worked the cock with his mouth, bobbing up and down on it, often pausing to suck the tip like he was a baby nursing. He loved the taste, the size and shape of it, and knowing that he was making Daisuke feel really good. As Daisuke neared his climax, he murmured, "I'm close," though he knew that Kyousuke wanted him to come in his mouth.

With a pleasured groan, Daisuke spurted into the eager mouth. Kyousuke hummed an "Mmm," and drank it down, sucking to get every last drop, as always drawing all the come Daisuke had and continuing to suck afterward. Feeling slightly sore from the pressure, Daisuke drew the kneeling boy off of him, desire rising in him when he saw the aroused flush and drowsy pleasure on the younger's face. He pulled the boy close and slowly kissed the lips, then all over his face.

Kyousuke trembled, and Daisuke hoped it was from want. He dared push the top of the robe aside to press his face and lips against the neck and shoulders, kissing feverishly and holding the shivering body.

"Are you cold?" Daisuke whispered in his ear.

"No."

The room was warm, yet he was trembling, and it made the elder wondering if the occasional whimpers were from desire. "Baby, how do you feel?"

"Fine." But his eyes were like those of a frightened animal cornered by a hunter.

"I'm sorry."

"Eh?"

"You're scared."

"I'm…not."

"Mao-kun."

The pretty eyes flickered down. "I know it's you."

"But…?"

"I'm scared." He said it so quietly that Daisuke had to mostly read his lips. "I know I shouldn't be, but – "

"There's no wrong way to feel. Baby, stop me if I do something you don't want."

"I do want…I just…I'm not afraid of you, but…"

"You don't want to be touched."

" _Pretty little baby boy."_ "I keep thinking of him, and if you and Yuya hadn't come…and Oga-senpai, why does he hate me so much that he was going to…"

The beautiful face was now drenched again. Daisuke pulled the boy up onto the bed and enfolded him in a comforting hug.

"Baby, what can I do? Is this too much touching?"

"Yes." With a quaking hand, Kyousuke put a death grip on the elder's robe. "Don't let go."

"We need to get clothes on you, you'll chill like this. Aren't you cold?"

He was; the shower had helped, but the freezing feeling inside remained. "Yes."

"I'll be quick. You can stay on my lap, okay?"

Kyousuke relented, finally pushing off his robe so that Daisuke could get a long-sleeved shirt and loose pants onto him. It was awkward with the boy clinging, but Daisuke was patient and surprisingly nimble.

"Your skin feels cool. Get in bed, baby." But Daisuke had to maneuver them both in together. "If you want, you can touch me and I won't touch you."

"That sounds…sad."

"We'll do whatever it takes."

"You're sure you want to?" Kyousuke whispered, face hidden against a warm neck.

"I'm sure I want _you_. Whatever it takes."

Daisuke waited until the boy was asleep before he reassured himself by touching Kyousuke all over. Even unconscious, he trembled slightly each time a hand lingered.

 **To be continued.**

 **Hmm. This is going to make filming…awkward, ne?**


	15. Chapter 15

_Time for update, since I've actually been writing every now and then. Weird, huh? So let's check in on angst-magnet Kyousuke and the world's most understanding boyfriend. I don't think there's anything particularly upsetting in this chapter, so don't worry._

 _I don't own any of these people (chloroform is surprisingly hard to find), I don't mean any offense, my mother was recently in New York and thinks she saw someone who looks like Mao near a library and he looked happy. Probably wasn't him, but I like to think it was. (I showed her a picture and she said the same thing everyone does: "That one that looks like a girl?" He does not look like a girl, damn it!)_

 _Anyway…_

 **HATSUKOI**  
 **Chapter 15**

Daisuke knew there was no hiding Kyousuke's altered condition. There was simply no way to otherwise explain the boy's new practice of clinging in some way to his boyfriend, but inability to bear direct touch from anyone except a sad but nonetheless grateful Yuya. The team captain convened the Seigaku to give them an excuse the day following the incident, first directing Yuya to stay with Kyousuke, a second layer of protection to the armed guard outside the hotel room.

"Make sure you…touch him, okay?" Daisuke said with clear difficulty.

" _Eh_?"

"Not like that," the elder snapped. "You know what I mean. It's not healthy for him to not be touched by anyone at all and right now you're the only one who can."

"Right…Buchou, I really am sorry."

"Don't talk like Mao-kun is…he'll be okay."

"Of course," Yuya said at once. "I meant…that he's letting me and not…"

Daisuke sighed. "I'm not offended, or mad at you. If anything, I'm glad Mao-kun has at least one safe person."

"You're safe too. It's just…"

"These things can't always be explained. Take care of him, okay? Tanomu," Daisuke said as he headed to his meeting.

Tomo had, as requested, gathered the rest of the team in one of the dressing rooms, and hung up on Keisuke when the captain entered. He had been told the truth and merely looked miserable, but the others quickly swarmed Daisuke as he walked in.

"What's going on?"

"What's wrong?"

"Is Mao-kun okay?"

Daisuke put up his hands for silence. "Listen. Look, this can't be kept from you guys, but it can't go off-set either. Mao-kun is all right, but he's very upset right now, and until further notice, it's absolutely crucial that no one but Yuya try to touch him."

"Yuya?" Shogo repeated, confused. "I thought he was with you."

"He is, but – "

"What happened?" Yuuta interrupted, in a louder voice than any of them had ever heard from him.

"Last night, after the show, Mao-kun was lured outside and very nearly kidnapped. He was only saved in time because he screamed and fought back, and Yuya had seen him leave the stage and felt worried enough to grab me."

Though he was looking downward, Daisuke saw enough to know the whole team had gone pale. Shogo pushed forward through them, and Daisuke tried to smile for the kid, but Shogo was staring at Daisuke's hands, which were gripping the back of a chair.

"Buchou, your fingers."

"I know." All ten were bruised deep purple. "I'm fine, really."

"What did – "

"Please don't ask."

Taka came forward and wrapped his arm absently around his boyfriend. "Was the guy caught?"

"No, which is why you're seeing more security around here."

"Was he hurt?" Akira, Ogasawara's replacement, asked solemnly.

"Not physically, but he's very shaken."

"Why Yuya-senpai?" Shogo pressed, ignoring Taka who tried to hush him. "Because they were together before?"

"This kind of stuff doesn't always make sense, Shogo-kun."

"Can I see him? Taka, what? I bet I can cheer him up."

Daisuke smiled weakly and ruffled the kid's hair. "He's going to try to come down later. I'm sure Mao-kun knows you're worried, but I'll let him know you're all thinking about him, that will help, I'm sure. Yuya's with him now."

"One of us always will be," Masato, Makita's replacement, said earnestly. "We'll make sure this doesn't happen again."

"Dai-chan," Tomo said softly, "how are _you_ doing?"

This lie was somehow more a strain than the previous. "I'm okay. Really."

 _daimaodaimaodaimao_

"Are you sure you're comfortable? I've been told my shoulders are bony."

Kyousuke shook his head against the arm he was leaning against, the one wrapped around him from behind while the other stretched around his front. He felt safe and almost warm here, despite the guilt festering in his stomach, the bewilderment.

 _Why can Yuya touch me?_ They were holding hands now. _Why not Dai-chan? He should hate me for this, and instead he's lying to everyone for me while my ex cuddles me. I'm a horrible boyfriend._

Kyousuke began to shiver again, and Yuya mentally cursed. "You're cold because you're not eating. You have to at least try or Dai-chan will scold me."

"I think I'd just throw it up."

"At least try."

Kyousuke shook his head, and made a small, frightened noise when Yuya abruptly, and hating himself, pulled his hand away. He tried to snatch it back, but Yuya steeled himself and held it back.

"Half the rice in that bowl. Please, and then I'll give you my hand back."

"Yuya – "

"I'll plug my ears if I have to." _Don't cry, I'll lose my resolve if you cry._ "Even if you do throw it up, you need it."

Kyousuke was forcing himself not to weep, either from the sudden lack of contact or Yuya's refusal to look him in the eyes. _Don't drop it_ , he ordered himself as he picked up the bowl and chopsticks. He managed to get a scoop into his mouth; it tasted like sand. He sensed pain coming off Yuya like heat and made himself swallow. Determined to get it over with as quick as possible, he mechanically moved mouthful after mouthful past his lips and forced it down. It worked, the hot food in his empty stomach quelled the shaking, but after finishing the entire small bowl, the boy felt somehow exhausted. Yuya had to help him put the bowl down back on the tray, and immediately offered his warm hand to hold.

"I'm sorry, baby, but please understand."

"I d-do."

"Do you feel better?"

"H-Hai." He didn't really. Although at least the food was staying down.

"I know you're not big on sashimi, or I would try to get you to try that too. Any day now, Dai-chan will start fussing at me about your protein levels."

"Do you remember everything I tell you?" Kyousuke asked softly, clasping his fingers with Yuya's as he was held closely.

"I file it away in my superior brain."

"Are you calling me inferior?"

"To nothing and no one."

 _Why is everyone nice to me?_

"Stop thinking, MaoMao."

"Eh? Why?"

"Because you're probably thinking something bad about yourself. I was already worried about your self-esteem before this."

"I…wasn't…really."

"You do feel warmer, right?"

Kyousuke nodded again. Not necessarily better, but warmer. Maybe there was something to this eating thing.

"Did you email your brother yet?"

"Dai-chan did. He used a lot of cheerful emojis, but I'm not sure Aniki will be convinced."

"Are you sure you don't want him here?"

"Aniki?" _No way._ "I don't want him to see me like this…or drag me home. And forget about letting me do the…oh no. How am I going to do the movie?"

"Calm down. Buchou told me about it, Takumi is still fighting off his phobia and doesn't much want Gii touching him. By the time you hit that one pseudo-sex scene, I'm sure you'll be better."

"What if – "

"No, no negativity. Imagine yourself surrounded in a white light of positivity."

Kyousuke felt himself laugh, surprised to hear the sound. "Stop teasing me."

"What? It might be useful."

"I don't have a good imagination."

"You're an actor. Don't be silly."

Yuya's free hand went up to his shoulder and massaged it. Kyousuke closed his eyes and tried to imagine feeling the warmth Yuya envisioned, trying to remember the heat of the stage lights. It seemed years since he'd been Kikumaru, the happy-go-lucky acrobat. It had been less than a day.

 _Think of light. Riding with Aniki. Dad's hugs. Dai-chan smiling._

" _Pretty little baby boy."_

Kyousuke gasped and opened his eyes wide, burrowing against Yuya, who hugged him closely.

"What is it? Bad memory? It's okay, it's over. I'm right here and Dai-chan won't be long. Do you want me to call him?"

"I c-can't even…"

"I know he can't touch you, but you can still touch him. I'm sure that makes him happy."

 _How can anyone be happy with someone they can't touch?_ Kyousuke buried his face in Yuya's sweater. _Gii said that in the novels. Don't cry._ He heard the door open, and sensed Daisuke before he heard him speak. It was like the feel of the sun on a cold day.

"Baby? You okay?"

"He hasn't been too bad. I got him to eat the whole bowl of rice."

"Thanks, Yuya. Baby, can I see your face?"

He wanted to see Daisuke too, and lifted his head. There was the reassuring smile he depended on, and he hadn't come alone. Tomo was behind him, looking horribly worried, and Kyousuke's eyes locked on him, and teared again. The usually-snarky actor was wearing a pale blue sweatshirt that was similar to a Shidou blazer, and it was only too easy to remember the movie Kyousuke had seen several times, to see sad Takumi in his place.

"Baby, Tomo – "

"I've come as class representative, to assure the others you're all right." But the voice was uncharacteristic, was flustered. "I hope I'm not intruding."

Daisuke was concerned that Kyousuke, who usually fixated on him when he was present, was looking so sadly at Tomo. "Sorry, baby, should I have warned you? Mao-kun?"

"It's so sad."

"Honey, what is?"

"You, me, Takumi. Everything."

Tomo understood before anyone else did. Quietly cursing, he all but ripped off his sweatshirt and forced himself to show his usual casual smile.

"I'm not sad. Just worried about you, kid." _Stupid movie. Stupid Kei. Yeah, I'm gonna blame Kei._

"I-I'm okay too." Kyousuke sat up and smiled weakly. "Tomo, is Kei-san going to visit again?"

"I hope not. I mean, uh, yeah. Why, do you want him to?" Tomo was surprised when the boy nodded. "Sure, I'll call him. It's actually been hard keeping him away."

"You guys have to help me and Dai-chan prepare, right?"

"Yeah, of course. Can't help with the violin, though. Only Kei thought I sounded any good, and he's biased."

Kyousuke laughed a little and wiped his face.

"I hear you guys are keeping Takki. You'll like him, but fair warning, he tells horrible jokes."

"But no help at all with the violin?"

"I can't even pronounce the name of the damn thing. Kei still teases me. You really want him around?"

"Yes. Please."

"Okay, but we may not be able to get rid of him."

Daisuke was actually starting to feel jealous, but finally Kyousuke looked at him, very softly.

"Hi, baby."

Kyousuke reached out, and was immediately given the hand he wanted. Daisuke felt better right away to feel his fingers and palm stroked; it was like the boy was giving this one part of him a whole heart's worth of love.

"Do they hurt, Dai-chan?" Kyousuke was being very gentle with the bruised digits.

"Not when you're touching them." Daisuke smiled with adoration when his other hand was seized as well. "You really ate?"

"Uh-huh."

"Thank you."

"See, and you kept it down," Yuya added. He generously stood and offered his seat on the bed to Daisuke, who took it. "Not that I don't enjoy your clinging, MaoMao, but we shouldn't deprive Buchou."

Since it was what they both wanted, needed, Kyousuke wrapped arms around his boyfriend's middle and snuggled against him. Daisuke gripped his own knees to keep his hands off Kyousuke. Nothing in his life had ever been as hard as not touching his lover. He could only be there to accept Kyousuke's welcome attentions and pray this didn't last. Vaguely, beyond the sound of the boy's breathing, he heard Yuya and Tomo talking to each other.

"I saw the making-of. Why was Takiguchi-san following you around with a camera so much?"

"I told him I needed documentation of Kei's sexual harassment. I think he's also a pervert."

"You okay, baby?" Daisuke said softly to Kyousuke.

"I miss you touching me."

"I know. Me too."

"I'm sorry."

"None of this is your fault."

"They're worried, aren't they?"

"Yes, but they all promised not to touch you."

Kyousuke laughed mirthlessly. "I'm ready to play Takumi, aren't I? First-movie Takumi, though."

"That movie had a happy ending. Ours will too."

"It wasn't happy for me," Tomo muttered. "I've had Kei stalking me since."

"Let's re-shoot it, with Tomo filling in for you in all of the hard parts."

"Like hell I'd let Dai-chan grope me. Even if Kei wouldn't kill him."

"Do you keep hearing a voice?" Daisuke whispered.

Kyousuke unsuccessfully tried to repress a laugh. "It sounds very annoyed."

"Annoy _ing_ , more like. I'd rather concentrate on you."

Their faces were very close. Kyousuke leaned in, let his nose brush Daisuke's, exhaled softly into Daisuke's speeding-up breathing. Want was exceeding fear in the teenager, and he let their mouths brush against each other a few times before finally, desperately pressing his lips to Daisuke's. The elder kissed him back hard, unable to hold back while feeling so much relief, and love, and desire.

Everything was forgotten, the real-life phobia, the sad movie and the sequel to come, Tomo and Yuya's presence. Daisuke pushed his tongue into Kyousuke and hugged him, hands wandering all over him, in a frenzy. Kyousuke kissed back for seconds or minutes, also touching, before ripping himself away and running for the bathroom. The sound of retching that came from it helped dissolve the brief romantic mood. Daisuke rubbed his eyes with his hands to stop the tears before they could start.

Without needing to be asked, Yuya nodded and hurried to the adjoining room. Tomo put his hand on Daisuke's shoulder.

"Dai-chan…"

"Kissing me makes my soul mate throw up," the elder said in a hollow voice.

"Don't give up."

"On Mao? Never. Call Kei, okay?"

"Eh?"

"Mao-kun must want him here for a reason."

"I'll call him right now."

"Thank you."

Only when alone, with the sound of weeping and reassurances coming from the bathroom, did Daisuke allow himself to cry.

 _daimaodaimaodaimo_

"…so on our last day of shooting, I gave him a ring-pop and said if he gave me a chance, I promised he wouldn't regret it."

"Aww," Kyousuke said, leaning forward in his seat.

"And I've been regretting it ever since," Tomo concluded.

"Not all the time, baby. I recall on the last night we spent together – "

"Not in front of the baby, Kei."

"It's okay, really," Kyousuke said.

Surprising no one, Keisuke had come only hours after being summoned; luckily he was not working on anything at the moment. Tomo had explained what happened to Kyousuke and that the kid for some reason really wanted to see the couple together and pick their brains about Takumi and Gii. He seemed just as, if not more, interested in observing Tomo feigning dislike for his boyfriend and Kei being affectionate and teasing. The latter's love seemed to be unconditional, and that made Kyousuke like him even more.

Daisuke, who had never done a BL, had questions too. "Was the intimacy hard to play before you were together?"

"Not for me," Kei said with a shrug. "Except I was trying not to overwhelm him."

"Overwhelm? I've done BL where my character is fucking his father."

Kyousuke's eyes widened. "Really?"

"Don't watch it, it's sad. Yeah, but it was mostly implied, not graphic."

"Did that help with Takumi at all?"

"Hmm," Tomo hummed. "Not really, since it was consensual. Tetsu, who played Nozaki, helped. I told him to just be really rough with me, especially during the attempted rape scene. I was all bruised afterward."

"Which must have thrilled you, Kei," Daisuke laughed.

Tomo pouted. "He kept following me around with ice packs and offering massages. But by that time I knew he was a pervert."

"Hentai ja nai yo," Keisuke protested. "I just love you."

"Jerk, do you have to be so sweet?"

Tomo, almost grudgingly, grabbed Kei by the front of his shirt and pulled him close for a kiss. Feeling sad and nostalgic and happy for them all at once, Kyousuke watched them with a smile and squeezed his boyfriend's hand. He was sitting in Daisuke's lap, but missed feeling arms around him. The couple kept trying, but Daisuke's touch still made him shake and feel panicked.

Keisuke hugged Tomo tightly when the kiss broke, which Tomo allowed for a few moments before wiggling away. Kei playfully struggled to hold onto him, laughing.

"Don't go all Takumi on me. He's not like this in private, guys."

"Yes, I am."

"Sure you are, baby," Kei said with a wink.

"Don't you love him, Tomo?" Kyousuke asked innocently.

Now Tomo looked serious. "I do. I guess I'm just not tactile, at least not in public."

"I don't mind it…at least I didn't used to."

"You'll be that way again, kid," Keisuke said. With Kyousuke's permission, he had been filled in on everything that had happened from the beginning. "Anyone in your situation would have trouble being touched for a while."

"At least we have Yuya in the meantime," Daisuke said. He was holding the sides of the cushioned bench they were on so he wouldn't forget and touch Kyousuke.

"Dai-chan – "

"Baby, don't apologize again. I meant what I said, I'm glad at least someone can touch you. Better yet, someone I trust."

"It doesn't make sense, though."

"I think it does," Kei said. He didn't bother keeping his voice down, as they were alone in the smaller dressing room.

"Kei reads a lot of psychology books," Tomo said dryly. "Enlighten us, Sensei."

"Well, kid, you were thinking of Yuya-kun more like a friend, even while you were dating, right?"

"Yeah," Kyousuke said shyly. "I was mostly crushing on Dai-chan."

"But Yuya cares for you as much as ever, accepting you can only be friends. You associate his touches with friendliness, which is not threatening. Dai-chan's touches you associate with intimacy, which isn't safe yet."

The other three looked impressed, and Kyousuke said with surprise, "That actually sounds right."

"Tomo likes me for more than my looks. Right, baby?"

"Not really. I just want your hoodie collection when you die."

"Tomo," Kyousuke tried not to laugh, "don't be mean."

"Hard to believe he was sweet and flustered Takumi, isn't it? Hard to believe he keeps getting cast so against type."

Daisuke laughed. "Save yourself, Tomo. Say something nice for once."

Tomo looked at Kyousuke. "Remember when Takumi tells Gii he likes him? That was the first time I ever said that to anyone."

"Really?" The younger boy smiled. "That's so romantic."

Keisuke grabbed Tomo's hand and held on when it tried to pull away. "Sometimes things are meant to be."

"Demo…"

"Turn a little and look at me." Daisuke smiled reassuringly when a pair of arms looped around his neck. "I'll be here. And you will get better, but even if we can never do more than this, I'll never stop loving you."

Kyousuke pressed his lips to Daisuke's. Even after the resulting kiss ended, he kept their faces close together for a long time.

 **To be continued.**


	16. Chapter 16

_I hope there are people still reading, because we have a ways to go._

 _Nothing too angsty in this one, sexual content ahead, minor law-breaking. No kiddies allowed. I do not own these people, except the ones who provide the majority of the angst. Enjoy and please consider leaving a review._

 **HATSUKOI  
Chapter 16**

Hating that he was worrying the rest of the Seigaku, Kyousuke shyly, and behind Daisuke, ventured back to the rehearsal building later that day, and initially regretted it. Even with Daisuke on guard, with Yuya and a hired security guard behind him, Kyousuke's appearance caused almost the whole team to rush up to him. Yuya quickly got in front of the terrified boy, and Daisuke physically held the crowd of actors back.

"No! Remember what I said, guys, not close."

One arm physically restraining Shogo, Taka urged the others back. "Sorry, Buchou. Back off, everyone. If we get too close, we might forget and touch MaoMao."

"It's okay," Yuya said to the trembling body huddled close to his. "They're backing off, they just forgot."

Yuuta came past the others with both hands up in surrender. "Sorry, MaoMao. We just are so glad to see you. It's okay, we won't get close until you're feeling better."

The teenager's pale face peeked out and forced a timid smile. "Hi, minna. I'm sorry for worrying you. I'm fine, really."

"It's all right not to be, MaoMao," Taka said. "Give yourself time. We're not going to rush you."

Tomo scoffed. "Speaking for yourself, not so much your boytoy, I think."

Shogo was indeed scrambling like a restrained cat. "Taka-senpai, seriously! I can cheer up anyone!"

"We're holding you responsible for that half of the jailbait," Tomo said dryly. "My suggestion would be either a hose or a cage."

"Kei-san is way too nice to be dating you," Shogo grumbled, but he did settle down. "And I give way better hugs than Yuya-senpai, MaoMao, just so you know."

Kyousuke steadied himself and laughed a little. "I'm sure you do, Shogo-kun. But really, I'm okay."

"You aren't quitting, are you?" Makita's replacement Inoue Masato asked anxiously.

"No, no. I'm sure I'll be back to normal soon."

Fuzukawa Akira, Ogasawara's replacement, smiled encouragingly. "Good. Your understudy's timing is awful and he's always losing his racket."

"That sounds dirty, somehow."

"Everything does to you," Keisuke teased his boyfriend.

"Really? Have you forgotten what you suggested we do with _my_ racket?"

"Yuya."

"On it, Buchou." He was already covering Kyousuke's ears.

That settled, Daisuke glared at the couple. "If you guys want to be helpful, get into character or something. Anyone have a violin?"

"Yeah," Tomo said boredly, "but he suggested the same thing about the violin, or maybe it was the bow, I don't – "

"Tomo!"

But Kyousuke was laughing harder than he had in days, though it felt like longer. Yuya could barely hold him upright, and soon the rest of the Seigaku was giggling as well; even the security guard shadowing Kyousuke chuckled.

"Takki still doesn't know why we were laughing through that scene, does he, Kei?"

Now Keisuke was hysterical himself and barely able to speak. "Please accept my Stradivarius, Takumi. Accept it all…night…long."

Shogo had escaped Taka's ear-covering hands and was literally on the floor crying tears of mirth. Daisuke gave up and laughed as well, since Kyousuke had now moved into his arms and was hugging him as well as giving the elder the beautiful gift of his laughter.

Rarely, Tomo was laughing as well, despite trying to stay in character. "But it's much too expensive…and big, Gii."

"Will you at least write your name on the case?"

"Can't breathe," Kyousuke whispered to Daisuke, weakly holding on to him.

"Or play a song on it?" Kei sputtered, and hit the floor, with a hysterical Tomo falling on his lap.

Masuda and Ryokyou came into view, puzzled by the sight of their stars all collapsed in heaps outside the dressing rooms, overcome by hilarity.

"What's going on here, boys?" the director asked.

"I think we were trying to cheer MaoMao up," Shogo said innocently, "but Tomo-senpai and Kei-san have really dirty minds."

"I see…"

"Can you really do that with a racket, Tomo-senpai?"

Taka lightly wrapped his young boyfriend on the head with his knuckles.

 _daimaodaimaodaimao_

The show must go on, as the American saying went. Everyone had to get to work rehearsing what was still new material to them, though Kyousuke was allowed to participate only when really needed, and otherwise was made to sit on the sidelines with his vigilant guard and a rotating cycle of any castmates who were taking breaks or weren't needed for a scene. This gave each Seigaku member a chance to talk to him a little, reassuring themselves that though their eldest baby was obviously suffering, he was the same sweet and unexpectedly strong MaoMao they'd all grown to love.

All but Yuya were careful not to touch, though it was plainly hard for them. Kei would have been with him the most, but the elder actor kept moving around the room to take pictures of Tomo. The way he smiled with adoration made Kyousuke smile, but also feel terrible. When it was Yuya's turn to sit out, the comfort of the elder's lap made an admission of this spill out of him.

Running his fingers through the boy's hair, arms wrapping him warmly, Yuya said, "Remember, Buchou understands. Baby, you didn't ask for what made you this way. The guilt doesn't belong to you either. I know it's hard, but try to let go of it."

"I miss him. I hate hurting him."

"I'm sure this won't last. He loves you. He's willing to wait."

"I'll go crazy by then," Kyousuke whispered. "I'm grateful to you, so much, but…"

"It's not the same. I know." _Traumatized or no, he's got to be so sexually frustrated, poor thing. And no way would Dai-chan let me…no, don't even think about that._ They were broken up, but Yuya's fantasies still featured one person only.

He felt so nice sitting sideways on Yuya's legs, soft cheek against his shoulder, arms around his middle, surprisingly warm for a body so thin and fragile. Kyousuke looked like a doll but felt too vital, too bright with spirit for the comparison to go beyond appearance. He was more like an angel, de-winged and gifted to the world, and Yuya, even more than his sadness that Kyousuke wasn't his, was so happy to be a part of the boy's life. It was like being allowed to stand in a shaft of sunlight while everyone else lived in an eternal night.

Kyousuke, for his part, had come to think of Yuya like family, like a new older brother to take temporary place of his protective and affectionate aniki. His guilt at not being able to love Yuya romantically was eased by constant reassurances that what they had was enough. What he'd done to deserve such love, Kyousuke didn't know, but it kept him going like Daisuke's love did. One coin, two sides.

When Yuya had to get back to work, Fuzukawa Akira, Ogasawara's replacement, came over, gently asking permission before sitting beside Kyousuke. He was a good-natured young man, and though the boy had initially been wary of him, he was gradually relaxing. Fuzukawa was tall and handsome, straight as they came and no threat, but he found Kyousuke beautiful and fascinating, drawn to his sadness and determined to do something to help him.

"How are you, MaoMao?"

Kyousuke smiled. "Better, thank you. How have you settled in, all right?"

"I feel very lucky! Understudies rarely get a chance like this, and everyone is so nice. No one's told me why Oga-senpai left, but I'm sure glad he did."

"Me too," Kyousuke said without thinking. "Um, I mean, I think you're better at playing Kawamura. Your 'Burning!' is great."

"Thanks, kid. Are you really okay? Do you want to talk about what happened?"

"It…it happened really fast, it's hard to remember."

"You must have been terrified."

"Yeah…my aniki does judo and taught me some self-defense, but I panicked and couldn't remember any of it."

"But you fought and you screamed. You did good. I'm so glad you're okay."

The boy smiled. "Thank you."

Taka came to sit with him next, taking off his character's glasses but holding onto the notebook. "Hey, kid, how's our acrobat doing?"

"Hi, Taka-senpai. I'm probably getting rusty just sitting here."

"You need to take it easy, though. How badly were you hurt?" the elder asked gently.

"Not much."

"Your upper arms are bruised. I saw when you were changing sweatshirts."

"I just…bruise easily."

"You're sure you don't want your parents?"

"I'm okay, really. I have you guys."

Taka sighed. "I wish we could hug you, though. You'll get sick of Yuya, won't you?"

Kyousuke laughed a little. "I'm sure I'll be better soon."

"Good. You're too cute not to be cuddled by your castmates."

"Am not. How are things going with Shogo?"

"You're really not bothered I'm with him? Because of our ages?"

"Of course not. There's a bigger difference between me and Dai-chan."

Taka relaxed gratefully. "We're good. He's impatient with me, but I guess that comes with his age and personality. I feel bad, since his hormones are going crazy and I can't give him everything he wants, but otherwise I'm trying my best to make him happy."

"He adores you," Kyousuke reasoned. "He clearly believes you're worth waiting for."

"Thanks, baby. I guess you and Buchou are going through something similar, waiting."

"Yeah…Dai-chan thinks I'm too young, even before…this."

"Don't look so dejected, MaoMao. That guy worships you. I'm sure he'd stick with you even if he could never touch you again."

"He said he would. I don't know why people are so nice to me." _At least the ones who don't try to…_

"It's your aura."

"Aura?" The boy didn't know the English word.

"The glow around you, the light your soul gives off. Yours is very strong and very pure, but there's vulnerability in it too. It makes people want to protect you. And hug you. So get better, ne?"

 _Why are people always saying I glow?_ "What does Dai-chan's aura look like?'

"A lot of colors, indicating well-roundedness, but mostly blue. Strong sense of justice, healing, and most of all, protection."

"That's him all right. Um…ano…can you tell when someone's bad by their aura?"

"Usually not. If it's not strong and positive, I usually don't see it. Why?"

"I was hoping you could teach me."

 _So he can protect himself. Poor little thing._ "Trust your instincts and trust us, we'll keep you safe."

Before Taka got up, he almost touched the boy's shoulder and remembered just in time not to. Kyousuke was then startled to hear the bodyguard, who had said very little, speak quietly in his gruff voice.

"Remember what I'm here for, kid."

The boy blinked innocently, but gave him a faint and very pretty smile. The man, whose name was Wareta, was heterosexual, very moral and had no sexual interest in his charge whatsoever, but already felt very devoted to him, having told Ryokyou and Masuda he was willing to stay on the job as long as he was needed. Wareta had been won over by the lovely and delicate child who was so polite, so timid, such a seeming target for the worst kind of attention. Wareta was very alert, and while he observed the love and support of Kyousuke's castmates, he also noticed the lingering gazes of crew members and hotel staff. It was strange. The boy was very beautiful, but Wareta was used to protecting handsome actors. He was trying to figure out what was different about this one.

"I can tell you a simple trick for if you get grabbed from behind again," the bodyguard continued. "The toes are a very sensitive place to strike. Stomp as hard as you can on them, both feet at once if you can. It may give you long enough to get away."

Another sweet smile. "Thank you."

"You said your brother tried to teach you some defense. What about your parents? Do they know people bother you?"

An unwelcome memory surfaced, lively chat around a large table in his father's restaurant, the friend of his dad's beside him, joining in the conversation while a clammy hand stroked the boy's thigh, worked its way between his legs. The dentist substituting for his regular one who'd tried to give him nitrous oxide and massaged beneath his shirt. Men on the subway who'd casually and without any apparent guilt cupped his behind and squeezed.

" _So beautiful."_

" _You're so hot."_

" _You're making me do this."_

"Kid?"

Kyousuke shook his head to push the memories away. "No, they'd just worry about me and keep me home."

"Rapunzel in the tower, right?"

"Basically."

"It will get easier as you grow," Wareta said, though he didn't believe it. "For now, though, don't worry. You have a lot of people looking out for you."

"I know. I don't know why they care so much," Kyousuke said aloud without meaning to.

Wareta touched the boy's shoulder, having forgotten, and pulled quickly back when he gasped and trembled. "Sorry, Kyousuke-kun. Are you all right?"

"Yes. It's okay, I'm fine," the teenager managed to force out.

"This must be very hard for you. And lonely."

"Dai-chan has been very understanding. I mean…ano…we're…"

"Together. I know, Kyousuke-kun. You're very lucky to find love at such a young age."

The kind words seemed to push air and calm back into the panicked boy. He looked at the man with such an expression of gratitude that no words were needed. Wareta smiled warmly, then went back to watching their surroundings as Inoue plopped down beside Kyousuke and grinned at him.

"Man, are you lucky, kid. I haven't been this out of breath since running laps in high school."

Kyousuke laughed. "You're doing well. I was watching."

"Well, at least the dances are easier than syncing the rackets with the ball sounds. I'm never gonna get that," the newer team member groaned.

"Really, Masa-senpai, it just takes time and practice."

"Hmm," Inoue considered. "Maybe someday I'll be able to twirl my racket and do backflips like you and Tomo-kun."

"I better warn you, he's a very impatient teacher."

Inoue smiled. "It's nice to see you calmer."

"I guess I have been kind of a mess."

"It's understandable, after what happened to you." Inoue leaned in a little. "But what's with only letting Yuya-kun touch you? Why not Dai-chan?"

"I wish I knew," Kyousuke said glumly. "It makes no sense. Of course, Yuya has been an amazing friend and I feel very safe with him…but I love Dai-chan. I'd do anything to not feel panicked when he touches me."

"Well…I have something that might help." Inoue worked a small metal flask out of his jeans pocket and held it so Wareta couldn't see.

The younger boy's eyes widened. "That's not…is that…?"

"Strong whisky, undiluted."

"Why do you carry that? We're not supposed to…"

"I'm of age to drink. Anyway, taking a sip now and then reduces my anxiety and improves my mood. It might do the same for you."

"But…I'm not old enough."

"You're so innocent. It's insanely adorable." Inoue's demeanor softened when the boy shrank back. "It's okay, I'm safe. I'm into girls, I just want to be your friend. And help you, make both you and Dai-chan happy again."

Won over by that, Kyousuke hesitantly took the bottle and gingerly sipped from it, then grimaced. "It's gross."

"I know, people don't drink it for the taste. You won't need much, since you're so tiny."

Kyousuke pouted as he drank. Why were people always calling him that? It wasn't his fault he just couldn't manage to put weight on, despite the constant efforts of his family and friends to make him do so.

"Whoa, that's enough." Inoue took back the flask. "The idea isn't to get you wasted. You okay?"

"I feel weird. Not bad, though. Warm. I never feel this warm. It's nice."

Inoue observed his young castmate, who was blinking rapidly and swaying a little. He experimentally touched the kid's shoulder, and Kyousuke merely smiled.

"It works!"

"Keep your voice down. I think you might have had too much."

"No, I feel good. Thank you, Senpai." Kyousuke stood up, unsteady on his feet.

"Whoa, where you going?"

The cast were paused, standing together and discussing the dance with the head choreographer. Daisuke was visible from where they sat and Kyousuke made a beeline for him, throwing his arm around the man, who was startled but hugged him back when the boy whispered, "Hold me."

"Baby, are you…why can you suddenly…" Realizing Kyousuke could barely keep himself standing, Daisuke held him up protectively and looked around with worry and a bit of anger. "Which of you were sitting with him?"

Taka spoke up. "I was, but he seemed normal."

"Same here," Fuzukawa chimed in.

"He's only been cuddling with me, same as usual," Yuya said worriedly. "Is it just me, or does he seem…drunk?"

Kyousuke giggled a little into Daisuke's neck, finding the word funny in his relief and happiness. He was finally where he wanted to be, finally giving his adored Dai-chan what he wanted. Therefore he was perplexed when Daisuke cupped his face gently but seemed to be holding back anger.

"D-Did I do something wrong?"

The tiny voice broke Daisuke's heart. "No, baby," he said quickly, softly stroking the fright out of his love's face. "No, someone else did. Did someone give you something to drink?"

"D-Don't be mad, he just wanted to help, and it worked, see, I'm better."

"No, honey, you're not. The alcohol or whatever you were given is masking your fear, but it's still there. Tell me who it was."

Sniffling, Kyousuke shook his head and burrowed deeper into the arms that embraced him tighter. Daisuke took a deep, steadying breath, stroked Kyousuke's hair for reassurance, and looked around with a stony expression.

"Forgive me for accusing, those of you who are innocent, but if one of you drugged him or something, the sooner you confess it, the better it will be for you. If he was given too much of something, or if it's potentially dangerous – "

Tomo broke in. "Considering how cuddly he's being, could be Rohypnol."

"It's not!" Inoue said suddenly, all at once regretful and sad and afraid of Daisuke. "I'm sorry, it was me. I'm so sorry, he was just so sad not being able to be touched by you. It was wrong, I see that now."

Daisuke fixed him with a cold gaze. "What was it?"

Inoue produced the flask. "Whisky, just whisky, there wasn't anything in it, I wouldn't do that. I only meant to give him a little, I thought he'd just be calmer. I'm so sorry."

Ryokyou stepped up and grabbed the flask. "I'll be taking this, and you're not to carry something like it again. Since you're clearly repentant, I'll let this slide, but one more toe out of line, and you'll be both fired and reported for giving alcohol to a minor."

"Yes, Sensei, thank you."

"And Dai-chan, no reprisals from you, please."

Inoue had tears in his eyes as he bowed to his team captain. "I'm so sorry, Dai-chan. Please give me a chance to earn back your trust and friendship."

Daisuke nodded absently, now dealing with a more pressing problem. Literally pressing. Kyousuke was forcing their bodies together, moving his mouth over Daisuke's neck, and pushing their crotches together. He wasn't hard, but Daisuke knew he himself soon would be. He wanted this body and the soul inside it so badly…but not when his love couldn't consent. Desperately, he locked eyes with the one he trusted Kyousuke to the most.

"Yuya…I can't…" _Please, pull him away from me before I do something I shouldn't._

Yuya understood and was there immediately, firmly disentangling Kyousuke from his sad but resolute boyfriend. The boy fought him, and Daisuke didn't help either. When he finally got them apart, Kyousuke struggled like a desperate small animal.

"Nnn, no, I want Dai-chan! Dai-chan!"

"Baby, I'm sorry." The whole room was shocked to hear the tearful wavering of the captain's voice. "You need to go with Yuya now, and I'll see you in a little while."

Wareta came up to escort them. "Forgive me. I should have been paying better attention, Sensei."

Ryokyou shook his head. "Don't worry about it. Just make sure they get safely back to the hotel."

Yuya held Kyousuke close as they walked, both because he was unsteady and because he was weeping. "It's okay, baby. I promise, you'll feel better soon."

"Why wouldn't he touch me? I can handle him touching me now!"

"Only because of the alcohol, MaoMao. You can't legally consent to be intimately touched while you're drunk."

"I'm…drunk?" _Aniki would be so mad._

"Yep. You're a lightweight, turns out."

"Everyone calls me small, I don't like it."

"Then start eating more and we'll stop."

"Maybe I will," Kyousuke grumbled as Yuya maneuvered him into one of the large black cars. His grumpiness shifted back to sad sniffles when he was pulled onto Yuya's lap. "Is Dai-chan mad?"

"I don't think Buchou is capable of being mad at you, baby."

"Don't want him to be mad at Masa-senpai, he was just trying to help. Yuya, make him not be mad, please?"

"Ssh, baby, it's okay. Dai-chan will watch Inoue closely for a while, just to make sure he's no threat, and then they'll be fine. We all know he wasn't trying to hurt you, it was just a stupid thing to do. Even if you weren't underage, alcohol doesn't solve problems."

"Aniki says I can't have any till I'm 30."

"Then I think you should leave this little escapade out of your emails to him." Yuya switched briefly to English. "You're sure a lot of trouble for an angel."

"What?"

"Nothing. How do you feel, MaoMao?"

"Funny. Sad and happy and good and bad. Light and heavy."

"You need to eat and sleep and then you'll be your usual reserved self again."

Wareta stayed close to them as Yuya walked the boy to the hotel doors. There had been a recent kidnapping attempt and the kid was in no condition to fight anyone, so the bodyguard hovered and glared at everyone whose eyes passed over Kyousuke. A passing pair of tipsy salarymen looked the boy up and down, and spoke loud enough for all three to hear.

"Did you see the little drunk boy? Gods, what I wouldn't give…"

"Oh, yes, looks like an angel and I bet he wouldn't resist."

"I'd like to pound him as long as he could take it, and longer."

"Mmm, yeah, but not hurt him, make sure he likes it."

"I wonder if we could get him…"

Wareta turned and stared them down menacingly. "Another word and I'll arrange to have you two taught exactly what rape feels like."

The businessmen muttered apologies and literally ran away. Wareta continued to stay close to his charge, who was crying again and death-gripping Yuya.

"Ssh, ssh, I promise, you're safe."

"I…want…to be…someone else."

As Yuya felt his heart shattering, Kyousuke seemed to lose the willpower to stay on his feet, and slumped. Without missing a beat, Yuya scooped him up and carried him through the lobby to the elevator. Yuya hardly felt the slight boy's weight as he got the kid to his room, where they went in and Wareta took up guard outside, after just managing to keep himself from patting his charge's head.

Kyousuke had gone so quiet that Yuya thought he was asleep, but when he pulled off the teenager's jacket and set him on his bed, Kyousuke grabbed his wrist.

"Don't leave me."

"I'm not going to. I'm just going to order up some food…here, hold my free hand."

The sandwich platter and sodas were delivered quickly, but did not interest Kyousuke, who was still crying. Yuya held the kid to his chest and pet him chastely, rocking back and forth.

"It's okay. You're safe."

"Nowhere feels safe."

"What about right here with me?"

"Well," Kyousuke sniffled, "maybe."

Yuya settled Kyousuke's head on his shoulder and let the boy curl up on his lap. He felt so nice to hold, this living, breathing doll, but the doll was restless, and Yuya fervently prayed that his groin would not respond to having his crush seated on him.

"Relax, MaoMao. You can stay where you are, but you need to eat, okay?" Yuya hardened his heart when the boy shook his head. "You need something to soak up the alcohol. Eat or I won't even sit near you."

"B-But…I need to…touch."

 _God, not as badly as I want to._ "One sandwich, one glass of soda, then you can have all the touch you want."

The boy must have been really desperate, because he ate and drank quickly, taking no enjoyment from it. Once back on Yuya's lap, he snuggled restlessly again before pressing his face to the warm neck. Yuya's stomach dropped into his shoes when he felt lips.

"Baby?"

Heavy, unsteady breathing answered him. Kyousuke moved his hands all over Yuya's back through his T-shirt, as though asking for something. For what, the boy soon made clear, when he put his mouth to Yuya's and coaxed a kiss out of him that Yuya had to rip himself away from.

"No, MaoMao. Don't do that."

"You don't like me anymore?"

Yuya sighed heavily. "I love you more than anything."

"Then don't you want to touch me?"

Kyousuke leaned in, ostensibly hugging but in reality presenting his pale, soft, faintly-floral neck to Yuya, who with a head full of fog began to kiss it, all over from jawline to throat. He remembered how sensitive this area was, and soon had Kyousuke moaning more needily than he'd ever heard him. He wanted to give this desperate body everything it desired, but on top of that, Yuya wanted him. Somehow the logical part of his brain shut off, and all he could think of was his love for Kyousuke, his helplessness against the boy's innocent beauty, his need to touch every part of him.

Kyousuke fell back onto the mattress and pulled Yuya on top of him, further flaming Yuya's wild and insatiable drive to possess and dominate the submissive teenager. He pulled Kyousuke's T-shirt off, and the drunk boy just as easily pushed down his jeans. By the time he had slid the briefs off and was looking at an almost-erection, Yuya had not only forgotten his own name, he had no memory of even having one. Kyousuke arched his back as though in offering, and Yuya hungrily latched onto one of the nipples.

Though Yuya's body was an inferno of careless want, his love and the boy's purity demanded gentleness. He used lips and tongue, not teeth, to darken and harden the bud in his mouth, then did the same to the other breast. Finally, finally, he could move his hands all over Kyousuke, tickle the too-thin stomach, stroke the white inner thighs, cup the pert buttocks to lift the now-full erection higher. And some part of Yuya's brain must have still been on, because although he next wanted to slide his thumbs inside and open this body up, he knew he could not go that far, that the boy didn't really want it no matter how good it would feel.

"Please," Kyousuke gasped. "Ikasete, make me come, please."

A faint voice in his head warned Yuya to do nothing of the sort, but to him, very little came before what Kyousuke wanted. He wrapped the hard cock with his mouth and began to gingerly suck. It tasted so good, and Kyousuke moaned eager permission. Thankfully for Yuya's conscience, the boy came quickly and it was over, with Kyousuke sighing contentedly and Yuya drinking down the sweet come.

That was it, the elder hoped, but then Kyousuke pulled him up for more kissing, which Yuya tried to dodge, with limited success. He wanted to give Kyousuke what the boy wanted, always, but not only was he taking part in Kyousuke cheating on their mutual friend, but once the boy sobered up, he likely would be embarrassed about what they had done and want to avoid Yuya. And Yuya was not about to lose the person he loved the most all for a session of intense making out, no matter how much he wanted to kiss Kyousuke.

"No, MaoMao. This is not what you really want."

"I know, I love Dai-chan, but he didn't want me. He handed me to you."

Yuya gently swiped at the tears on the teenager's face. "Honey, he did that because he was afraid he would take advantage of you. Like I just did."

Seeming a bit more sober, Kyousuke sniffled. "I wanted what you did, it's just as much my fault. Don't tell him, I don't want him to be mad at you."

"I am going to tell him, baby. He's going to want to know how…since you seemed so aroused."

"Thank you," Kyousuke said in a tiny voice, "for helping me."

Smiling, Yuya smoothed back stray shocks of hair from the boy's face. He was alarmed, though, at the forlorn expression and steady stream of tears.

"Baby, what is it?"

"He'll be so mad…"

"Not at you, honey."

"I don't care about _me_ , I'm worried about _you_. He might hurt you, and I love you, you're my best friend, and I don't know what I'd do if he hurt you because of me."

 _I'm your best friend?_ The information elated Yuya. "Baby, I can take care of myself. Yeah, he'll be angry, but I'm sure you'll defend me and he'll eventually forgive me. Please don't cry."

But the tears continued until the teenager drifted off to sleep, leaving Yuya alone with his worried thoughts as he re-dressed them both. He had assured the boy that Daisuke would forgive him. In truth, the actor wasn't sure.

 **To be continued.**

 **Let's take a vote. Who thinks Yuya is absolutely fucked?**


	17. Chapter 17

_Sorry for delay, as usual. Anyone still with me? We've got drama, tension, and consensual sexual activity in this one!_

 _I do not own the DaiMao, and lucky for them I don't...heh heh._

 **HATSUKOI**  
 **Chapter 17**

Daisuke tried to give his attention to his work, to be the dutiful and serious Tezuka all day, but in truth, his thoughts were only about Kyousuke. When the actors were finally dismissed for the day, he ran outside, and rather than wait for the cars, he hailed a cab. Head pounding, uncaring that people were staring, he ran to his hotel room and nearly slammed the door open.

The scene that greeted him was peaceful, a contrast to his desperate worry and need. Kyousuke was asleep on his bed, and Yuya was beside him, looking at the slumbering boy and stroking his hand. Daisuke sighed with relief, seemed to float to his boyfriend, bending to place a long, slow kiss to his lips, stroke his face, run gentle hands up and down his arms and legs, push his shirt up to rub his stomach. He put his face to the barely-heaving belly and kissed all over it, forgetting Yuya was there, caressed the bared sides and the tiny waist, but finally remembered he had an audience. Otherwise he might have tugged the shorts and underwear down to look at it if not touch it.

Forcing himself to get back in control, he fixed Kyousuke's clothes, kissed him again, and looked up to thank Yuya. The words died in his throat. His and Kyousuke's dear friend looked haggard, so tormented and miserable he seemed decades older. His eyes were bloodred, skin blotchy from tears, and Daisuke guessed immediately that this was about more than worry over Kyousuke's brief drunkenness.

"Yuya, what's wrong?"

"He's fine," the other said in a monotone. "He ate most of a sandwich and had some soda. He's been asleep a few hours, I don't think he drank enough that we need to worry about a hangover."

"Yuya, what's wrong with _you_?"

The normally cheerful young man looked at him hauntedly. He glanced at Kyousuke, who always made him so happy, and the misery only seemed to increase. Yuya looked back then to Daisuke, eyes screaming for forgiveness.

Daisuke made a guess, prayed he was wrong. "Yuya. If you're going to tell me...that you broke the trust I put in you...please, tell me you didn't."

Yuya shut his eyes for a moment, as though preparing for a punch. "I thought I was strong enough. That I could resist him even if he wanted me to touch him. I wanted to be his friend...and yours."

"Yuya."

"He asked me to touch him and I did. I kissed him, groped him, made him come in my mouth. He wasn't thinking straight and bears no fault."

Daisuke was seeing such red he could nearly taste it. "D-Did you - "

"I didn't fuck him, but I think about doing it all the time. I'm guilty and I deserve whatever you want to do to me."

Daisuke grabbed Yuya by the collar and walked them both to the foot of the bed. With his other hand clenched in a fist, he shook the younger actor and pulled the despairing face to inches from his own, eyes ablaze with fury.

"I _trusted_ you. I thought well enough of you that I trusted you with what I love most in the world. You were the proof to Mao-kun that someone could love him and be no threat. You pretended to be so safe and then you molested a _drunk_ sixteen-year-old you promised to protect. What do you think you deserve?"

"The worst." Yuya said it so softly that Daisuke had to read his lips.

"Damn. Right."

Unnoticed by either of them, Kyousuke soundlessly stirred, blinking his blurry eyes open, but when he saw what was happening only feet away, he was wide awake, completely sober, and off the bed in an instant.

"No! Dai-chan, please, no!"

He startled them enough to push in between, to drive Daisuke almost all the way across the room. He wrapped his arms around his boyfriend's torso, buried his sobbing face in the T-shirt, shook like a leaf when arms enfolded him but didn't protest. He knew Daisuke needed to touch him, was willing to bear it if it calmed the man down.

"Don't don't please it was my fault be mad at me I wanted him to I love you only you but I needed to be touched and Yuya helped he couldn't help it don't hurt him hurt me instead please please - "

Anger switched to intense alarm in Daisuke's head. He hugged Kyousuke tightly, lifting him off the floor with one hand supporting his behind, the other arm holding him close. When the pleading string of words finally dissolved into weeping, he spoke gently but with obvious fear for his distraught love.

"Ssh, baby, it's okay, don't say that, you know I would never hurt you, and it is _not your fault_ when someone takes advantage of you. What can I do to make you believe that?"

"It wasn't like the other times, I wanted him to - "

"Honey, you were in no condition to consent, the alcohol was making you want - "

"No, no, I always want it, and I want it to be you, but I can't...so I finally convinced Yuya to do it, I was selfish, I just needed it so badly Dai-chan I'm sorry..."

"Ssh, ssh, baby, please calm down. You're gonna get sick, just stop and breathe, okay? For me?"

Breathing in choking gasps, Kyousuke tightened his arms around his boyfriend, sniffed the reassuring, grown-up scent of Daisuke's cologne. Feeling what he was doing, Daisuke gently drew Kyousuke's face to his neck where the smell was strongest, knowing because the boy had told him so that the scent was comforting to him. The elder actor rocked back and forth, quietly encouraging the younger to take slow deep breaths, and exhale slowly as well. Just when it seemed Kyousuke was getting close to stable, he worried Daisuke all over again by beginning to kiss his neck.

"Baby, what are you - " _Is the alcohol still...no...then why...?_

"Let me make it up to you, touch me, I'll show you it's you I want."

Kyousuke rubbed his body sensually on the one holding him, rolled his hips so the hand cupping his behind caressed it, pushed his irresistable neck towards Daisuke's mouth. In his confusion, the elder did open his lips against it before shaking his head clear.

"Baby, stop. You don't have to prove anything to me, and you're shaking just from being held by me. I don't need to touch you to love you and I forbid you to force yourself like this. You're upset and you need to focus on calming down. Tell me what I can do that will _really_ make you feel better. I'll do anything I can."

"Promise you won't hurt Yuya. Please?"

He couldn't deny that sweet, plaintive voice. "I'm not going to hurt Yuya, okay? So you can relax and not worry, baby. It's okay."

"Really, it's not his fault."

"If it isn't, that doesn't mean it's yours." Burning tears prickled at the inner corners of Daisuke's eyes. "Baby, you don't encourage this and people can control themselves, it's not your fault when they don't."

"Th-This was different, really. I really wanted him to. D-Dai-chan, I cheated on you. Do you hate me?"

Not trusting himself, frankly, with that perfect floral neck bared to him, Daisuke instead tucked Kyousuke's head under his chin and rubbed his face in the satiny black hair. Here too, the boy smelled clean and sweet, but in a more innocent way. Daisuke's mind was on comfort, not sex, and he wanted to keep it that way.

"No, baby, of course not. I could never hate you. It's not wrong that you need to be touched even though I can't do it. On top of that, you couldn't control yourself. That's like getting mad at someone for throwing up when they have the flu."

"Don't blame Yuya either."

Yuya, who had been silent, now spoke up. "MaoMao, don't worry about me."

"Honey, don't get upset again. Breathe."

"Don't be mad at Yuya. Please, I'll do anything, you can do anything - "

Daisuke felt as close to angry as he possibly could be with Kyousuke. "I'm not doing anything you're not comfortable with, and the privilege of touching you is _not_ something you trade away, not for anything, do you understand me?" _God, is he really this damaged?_ "I understand now why your brother wants to keep you locked up, because now I do too, if that's the only way, if you've been convinced by your experiences that your body is worth so little. I'm going to get that out of your head, somehow wipe away every touch you didn't want if it takes me a hundred lifetimes to do it."

"D-Dai-chan, are you crying? Don't cry, I'm sorry - "

"I'm fine, baby. If you're okay, then I'm fine. I just worry about you because I love you, and I would not trade that for anything."

"I love you, I love you so much. Please don't cry."

Still shaking, Kyousuke nuzzled sweetly against Daisuke, not sexually now because he knew that would upset his boyfriend. He still felt that damn irrational fear to have non-Yuya hands on him, but when Daisuke forced himself to pull his arms back to his sides, Kyousuke grabbed them and put them back around himself, determined to try to desensitize himself.

"Honey, don't force yourself."

"I just need to get used to it, get past it. Help me get past it, please, I miss you so much."

Daisuke gently lifted him up the same way as before, one hand supporting his bottom and the other arm around him and stroking his side. Kyousuke shook, but tried to control his breathing, snuggled against Daisuke's muscled warmth and reassuring smell. Fear be damned, he wanted to be here. He wanted to be held by Daisuke more than he'd ever wanted anything.

"I want to be yours forever," Kyousuke whispered.

"You're mine as long as you want to be, and I am completely and utterly yours."

"MaoMao, if you're all right, I'll give you guys some privacy," Yuya spoke up. "And Dai-chan, if you're sure you don't want to punch me."

"Can I hug him?" Kyousuke whispered, sounding fearful that he'd be reprimanded. "Will you be mad?"

"Baby, you don't need my permission to hug someone. You're yours too. I don't own you."

Kyousuke gratefully kissed the elder's lips, then went to Yuya, sniffling, and wrapped his arms around his torso. Yuya looked at Daisuke, waited for him to nod permission, and squeezed Kyousuke lovingly. With the boy's lover watching, and all that had happened, there was nothing sexual in the way he held him, merely petting and rocking him as Kyousuke sniffled "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

"It wasn't your fault, MaoMao. I know you don't think it was mine, but I should have controlled myself. I'm older than you and you were drunk. No, no, don't cry. Dai-chan and I will be okay eventually, and you defended me. That means a lot to me. You're my hero."

"You're teasing me," the boy complained, with his cheek resting on Yuya's shoulder.

"I'm not. I'm amazed by you. You're strong enough to love people with your whole heart no matter how you've been hurt and that's a miracle. _You_ are a miracle."

Daisuke was watching, at first with residual anger at Yuya, then more anger to see anyone holding _his_ Kyousuke. But there was such love in Yuya's touching and voice, and before love, man is powerless. He could not tear Yuya out of Kyousuke's life, it would make the boy unhappy and he'd had enough unhappiness. And the way Yuya was with him, so gentle, so dependent on the kid for his own happiness...

"Yuya."

"Buchou?"

"I want some time with Mao-kun now, but if you tell me you can...I'm not going to prevent you from spending time with him."

"R-Really?" Yuya squeezed Kyousuke tighter. "Thank you." He drew the boy back from him, gazing with a teary smile. "I'll see you later, MaoMao, okay?"

"Okay." The boy grinned as his cheek was stroked. As soon as Yuya was gone, with the door closed, he went back to Daisuke and snuggled against him again. "Thank you, Dai-chan."

Daisuke held his hands back at first, smiling widely when Kyousuke again insistently put them on himself. "Honey, I know you're grateful. Don't force yourself."

"'S not just that," the boy mumbled into his shoulder.

"What is it, then?"

The elder had a hopeful guess, from the way the teenager was moving against him, restless, needy. Trembling a little, Kyousuke comforted himself by latching onto Daisuke's neck and sucking gently, as he'd always loved to do. He was doing it very softly so as not to leave a mark, pushing his tongue against the skin as though trying to lap up the taste, and squeezing the chosen spot with his impossibly-soft lips. Kyousuke was making quiet noises of contentment, and the pretty moans were making Daisuke hard, despite his best efforts.

"Baby?" he questioned. The word was unsteady.

"I miss you," Kyousuke groaned against the wet flesh. "I dream about you, I can't stop thinking about you. I need you."

"Oh, baby. I've missed you too, I just don't want to scare you. It's still hard for you, being touched by me."

"Don't care," Kyousuke sighed. "I want you."

 _God I can't resist, I need him._ "Are you _sure_?"

In answer, Kyousuke pushed his crotch hard against Daisuke's erection, and the elder snapped. He lifted the boy up, carried him to one of the beds, and got on top of him as slowly as he could, watching for signs of fear. To his delight, though sober again, Kyousuke was looking at him with glazed eyes, half-closed. Though not hard yet, the boy was intensely aroused, and every touch made him moan for more.

 _Have to see him now._ Daisuke pushed the T-shirt up slowly, mostly to savor the revealing of that beautiful skin and the pale pink nipples. No protest, so Daisuke pulled the garment over Kyousuke's head. The boy pushed his hips up in offering, and Daisuke pulled the jeans down and off. He couldn't wait and removed the briefs without asking for permission, but Kyousuke merely smiled dreamily. Daisuke was finally able to to stroke all over the skin he had been craving like a drug. He rubbed up and down the curve of tiny waist into small hips, caressed the stomach in a soothing circle, worked his way up to place one hand over each flat breast and began to gently knead them.

He knew how sensitive Kyousuke was here, and rubbed a little harder when the boy's eyes fluttered and he arched up into the massage. The little pink buds were strategically covered by his work-rough palms, and as he squeezed he could feel the nipples harden into plump little mounds.

"Yes, there, yessss..."

Daisuke leaned down and kissed him, with tongues but slowly and lovingly, a contrast to how forceful he was being with the boy's chest. Kyousuke was moaning into his mouth, and finally resorted to pushing Daisuke's head down to where he wanted it. Laughing indulgently, the elder took a nub between his lips and sucked it, rubbing the other forcefully with his fingers. To his relief, Kyousuke had hardened; he wasn't very big even fully erect, and Daisuke loved that, as he did every inch of the living doll. But...

"Are you scared?" Daisuke asked softly into the wet skin. "You are, aren't you?"

"Don't care, don't stop, _please_..."

It was consent enough, for some of this, at least. Daisuke wanted to be inside him so badly it physically hurt not to be, but he'd had no plans to do that while the boy was so young, and on top of that, Kyousuke was still simply too fragile. He wanted touch right now and Daisuke would happily give it, but even if they both wanted to do everything, that was out of the question. Kyousuke was shaking now, it seemed, from want, but Daisuke knew phobias didn't disappear instantly. Except maybe in characters played by Tomo.

Trying to slow things down, Daisuke carefully lay on top of his young boyfriend and pushed arms beneath to hug him. Kyousuke made a needy, questioning noise, and Daisuke kissed him. Large glazed eyes stared up into his soul, and Daisuke stroked his cheek.

"Tell me what you need to feel better, baby."

"You."

Daisuke laughed softly. "Can you be more specific?"

"No."

 _At least he's honest. He doesn't know what he needs._ "You need to come, right?"

"Yes but...more."

"Honey, I can't...be inside you. Not yet, while you're so young and so scared."

Kyousuke hugged his boyfriend tightly, pressed his forehead against a cloth-covered shoulder, probably unaware of how much this sweet touch warmed Daisuke's heart. The elder wanted to give him everything and anything he could ever want, and prayed what he asked for wouldn't be that one impossible thing.

"Could...you..." It was clearly torturously difficult for Kyousuke to get this out, and his little whimper was strained. "C-Could you..."

"You can ask, baby." _Anything, I'll give you anything._

He could actually feel the embarrassment seeping out of Kyousuke. "F-Fingers?"

A dozen thoughts ripped thorugh Daisuke all at once. His groin stiffened further and head was inflamed at the thought. His heart broke at how timid Kyousuke sounded, like he was sure he'd be refused. He felt honored that this angel trusted him enough to want touch even when it scared him. His morality frantically began to consider whether he could grant this request, that it wasn't technically intercourse, they'd done it before, and though it wasn't legal, Kyousuke wanted it, and what could be more important than that? No onr had to know about this after all...but was it really healthy for the boy? He'd been mentally better the last time. That was before his terror of touch.

While Daisuke was thinking, Kyousuke hugged him tightly, shaking again, and Daisuke worried he was nervous and probably humiliated.

 _No, I can't, I just can't._ "Are you sure it's what you want?"

To his relief, the trembling eased to a soft quivering, and Daisuke sighed with relief to feel Kyousuke accepting his petting. _Is this really what you need?_

"P-Please?"

 _I shouldn't...but he sounds so..._ "Okay, honey. Hold on."

Daisuke rolled off long enough to grab a small tube of lubricant before returning, kneeling between the boy's open legs and nudging them farther apart. Daisuke wet his index finger, and rubbed the smooth inner thighs with the backs of his hands. He smiled at the teenager until the boy smiled back, trying to appear less shy than he felt. Kyousuke encouragingly bent his legs up, feet flat on the mattress, murmured when Daisuke's hand finally went downward, between the legs.

Taking a deep breath, wondering if he should pray for forgiveness, Daisuke put his finger to the tiny puckered hole. He rubbed the sensitive opening, as though trying to relax it. He circled it, played with it, and watched all the shame and anxiety relax out of Kyousuke's face. Soon, though, the boy began to thrust a little, obviously needy.

Not wanting him to get upset again, Daisuke stopped stalling and guiltily slid his fingertip inside. To his surprise, he couldn't go any further, the hole was too tight. Kyousuke made a soft noise of approval, but clearly wasn't satisfied. Daisuke pushed a bit more, trying to get it deeper without hurting his angel. He applied a bit more pressure, the muscle fighting him the whole time.

Kyousuke's face creased with effort, as though he was trying to relax enough to let the finger in. Trying to soothe him, Daisuke moved the digit in a gentle circle, hoping it gave even a little pleasure, but the boy whimpered.

"Honey?"

"I...I need..."

"Deeper?"

"Uh-huh."

"I don't know if I can..." _Why is he so tight? He wasn't at the onsen. Is it the fear?_ "I want to, but it's not really working."

"Nnn...just...could you...press harder?"

"I don't want to hurt you."

Kyousuke reached down to take hold of Daisuke's wrist, and the elder didn't stop him, not wanting to make the boy think he had no say in what they did in bed. He did nearly stop this when Kyousuke forced the finger into him and whimpered with muted pain. There was a little enjoyment in it, but the obvious discomfort worred Daisuke. When Kyousuke thrust the digit in again, and whimpered again, the elder spoke up.

"Baby, that's enough. You can't take it, it's not worth it."

"But... I need..."

"Ssh. Let me try relaxing you first. Maybe that will help."

Daisuke leaned down, licked the teenager's erection, and worked his tongue into the slit to get at the sweet fluid. Right away, Kyousuke moaned, let go of the hand and sighed.

Daisuke put his hands around the shaft, and began to very slowly pump it, while gently sucking on the head. Kyousuke moaned with gratitude and let his boyfriend pleasure him, savoring the touch he'd been craving. Daisuke urged the slender legs up onto his shoulders, stroked one thigh with his free hand, and began in earnest. He made his hand movements slow, his sucking as well, wanting to prolong this as long as possible. Because Kyousuke was smiling, accepting his touch and smiling, looking happy and relaxed.

Daisuke swirled his tongue around the head, teased the little slit until it was tender enough to make the dazed boy whimper, and concentrated on Kyousuke's reactions to being sucked. The naked angel's head was lolling from side to side, with a dreamy smile on his content face. Kyousuke was just slightly undulating up into the enclosing mouth, but not anywhere near enough to gag Daisuke. The elder smiled with a full mouth when Kyousuke exhaled a sigh of such relief, it was as though he had been holding something back his whole life.

Taking it as a sign, Daisuke let his free hand drift to its earlier location. He probed with the same finger, and found that the puckered ring of muscle yielded a little more. He slid the digit in up to the first crease of his finger...then he was halfway in...then the finger was all the way inside, clenched by the wet heat and the hole successfully breached. Energized, Daisuke began to suck a bit faster as he moved the invading finger around, trying to work it open for more fingers.

Whether Kyousuke noticed this, Daisuke wasn't sure, but the boy's breathing sped up, thin chest heaving, and he was almost tossing and turning like a dreamer, but with less movement. His moaning was urgent and becoming more so; he was close.

"Un un un un un oh _Dai-chan_ I - "

In response, Daisuke sucked harder, while pushing the invading finger in and out. He sucked as hard as he thought he could without causing pain, and hummed with satisfaction as he drew out his reward, the sweet cream that tasted of youth and innocence and cleanness. As usual, despite Daisuke's urgency at sucking it out, Kyousuke's orgasm was very long and came in almost a trickle, while Kyousuke's eyes went white and hips rolled up in a manner oddly seductive for such a pure boy. When he had drunk it all, Daisuke kissed the softened penis as though in thanks, and with his finger still buried, he lifted his head to check on his lover.

Kyousuke was catching his breath, and blinked with sleepy adoration and happiness at the elder. He reached up to slide his fingers and palm into Daisuke's slightly rough hair, and Daisuke smiled and kissed the boy's tiny wrist. Kyousuke was propped up a little on pillows, and he started to sit up, then realized through the dreamy afterglow that Daisuke's index finger was fully inside him. It felt odd, as though they'd never done this before, but pleasant. He tried moving his hips around in search of more stimulation.

"You okay, baby?"

Kyousuke nodded and cutely bit his lower lip, making Daisuke smile.

"You want me to try a little more?"

"...could you?"

"If it's something you want. Just try to stay relaxed, okay? That will help."

It was strange for Daisuke too, like trying to touch someone through a thick layer of scar tissue, as though Kyousuke being hurt so much had closed off this intimate part of him. Thinking of it that way, Daisuke was determined all the more to break through. Kyousuke didn't seem to be getting much out of it, so Daisuke risked sliding in and positioning a second finger.

"You know to tell me if I hurt you. All right?"

"Uh-huh."

"Promise me."

"If...if I don't want you to stop anyway, though, you won't...will you?"

It took Daisuke a few seconds to be sure he understood. "I don't want to hurt you." _You hurt is my worst fear._

"I know. I just mean..."

"You want to push on through the pain, is that it?"

"And the fear," Kyousuke said quietly. "All of it, so I can be with you."

"Baby, do it for _you_. I told you - even if you never could let me touch you again, I'd stay by your side."

"Can I do it...for _us_?" the boy murmured, stroking Daisuke's arm. "You and me both?"

Daisuke smiled, traced the teenager's features from forehead down to hip. "Both of us is fine."

Kyousuke stretched cat-like, moaning at how Daisuke's fingers shifted inside him. "Please."

Taking a deep breath, Daisuke swirled his fingers as though stirring a cup of coffee, slightly-rough digits rubbing so many nerve endings that the boy's jaw was hanging open, panting. He slowly edged downward to take in more, wincing and groaning, but determined.

"You okay, baby?"

A sniffle. "Yeah, I'm good."

Diauke trusted him, and rewarded him, one might say, teasing the ring of muscle, patiently working it open with a firm hand. Despite the pain, Kyousuke was enjoying this, gasping and groaning. And Daisuke was incredibly turned on by the sight of his gorgeous boyfriend lost in pleasure. He swept over countless nerves to find the prostate, found the fire-hot little gland pulsing between his fingers. Kyousuke cried out almost as though hurt, but at the same time thrust down so the digits pressed the spot hard.

"Baby, are you okay? Did I hurt - "

In answer, Kyousuke grabbed the wrist again and slammed it inside, now gasping with what was definitely more than discomfort.

"No, no," Daisuke said firmly, a little distracted by how much he wanted to put his rock-hard cock inside this body. " _No_ , no pain. We can work through this without - "

"Please," Kyousuke moaned, and began to hectically reach for Daisuke's zipper. "I need you."

 _God yes want him so bad_ "N-No, not yet, baby, I'm sorry, but you're not well and you're too young." _I have to make him come quick before I snap and take him._ "Close your eyes, pretend it's me."

"Don't you want - " But the words hung in the air as Kyousuke's head fell to one side, as he both winced and smiled.

Almost all of Daisuke's hand was buried snugly inside him, not the shape he wanted but filling him in a way that felt so good. Slightly rough skin and nails were scraping the countless pleasure spots, and the prostate was being forcefully manipulated by fingertips that rubbed, squeezed, and alternately pressed in an amazing mimed fuck. Everything about this, even the faint squelching noise, allowed Kyousuke with closed eyes to pretend Daisuke was in him.

As always, the elder handled him gently, but was being more forceful than usual, as Kyousuke needed. And though he had never been much for dirty talk, Daisuke would do anything to break this thick-air tension and see his boyfriend climax so he could then calm.

"You like my cock, baby?" the elder actor whispered into the teenager's ear. "You like being fucked by me? Tell me how you feel."

Kyousuke responded by arching into the penetration, rolling his eyes back again, and letting out a strangled cry. Daisuke could tell he was close, though he always took a long time to come. Happily, Kyousuke had relaxed and moistened enough internally that Daisuke was now able to fuck him with four wet fingers, and with the remaining one rub the rosebud opening to keep it loose.

 _Almost there._ "Good, you're taking all of me. Fuck, you're so hot and tight, I can barely stay in. How do I feel? Am I touching the places you need?"

"Yes, yes, more, _fuck me_..."

 _Now now NOW._ Putting as much force on the prostate as he dared, Daisuke with his other hand grabbed the neglected erection and jerked hard, effectively ripping Kyousuke's orgasm out of his and furiously rubbing the spurting head against his own stomach. It still lasted several minutes, a virtual infinity of watching his flushed, doll-like lover spasm with pleasure and shoot a slow rope of come.

It was too much for him, the incredible sight. While the boy was still coming, and without permission or warning, Daisuke freed his hand and used both to lift Kyousuke so his perfectly-curved bottom was presented. Daisuke positioned himself himself, pants still on, as though he were about to enter the boy. In his feverish mind, the heat in his clothed crotch was the inferno of Kyousuke's insides. The elder crudely thrust, almost brutally, against the bare bottom until he himself came, making a mess inside his briefs and not caring a bit.

He fell beside the boy and gathered him into his arms. Thinking the exhausted teenager would surely fall asleep after so much exertion, Daisuke ran his hands all over the delicate body, reveling in the warm porcelain skin, the cornsilk softness of the hair. Kyousuke for a short time simply and quietly caught his breath, but he soon began to tremble and whispered "Fuck." Daisuke, disheartened, absently regstered that he had never heard his young lover curse.

"Baby, it's okay."

"I-It isn't. I'm s-sorry, I don't deserve - "

" _Don't_ say that. This is not your fault. You're making progress. Think about what we were just able to do. You're getting better and if it takes a long time, it's all right. I'm not going anywhere."

"D-Dai-chan, I love you."

"I love you, Mao. Do you want me to let go?"

"Please don't," Kyousuke sniffled. "I can do this."

"You can do _anything_ ," Daisuke said lovingly.

"Do you still think I'm strong? After everything that's happened?"

"Stronger than I thoughtpossible, more and more each day."

Kyousuke lifted his head to give Daisuke a long, sweet kiss. He continued to shake faintly as the couple drifted into sleep.

 **Tsuzuku.**


	18. Chapter 18

_Anyone still with me? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?_

 _Sorry for lateness, work and school blahdy blah. I don't own these people, badness ahead involving a real person, Mao-kun is pedo-bait, etc. No kiddies allowed._

 _Without further ado…_

 **HATSUKOI**  
 **Chapter 18**

The short break from Tenimyu was welcome, both for a chance to relax and for Daisuke to get a little space from Yuya. He had forgiven the young man (mostly for Kyousuke's sake), but his anger was still in the process of cooling. Both of the actors felt they could start over as friends after a little time apart. Before parting, Kyousuke hugged Yuya tightly and accepted a kiss on the forehead. Yuya looked somewhat timidly at Daisuke, but smiled when the latter gave him a warm handshake.

The best part of the break, though, was that Daisuke was spending it with his lover, staying with the Hamaos in Tokyo. Kyousuke reminded him several time that they had to appear as only friends during this time, and Daisuke wondered if he could do it.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you," Kyousuke said suddenly on the train. "Kaachan and Touchan are throwing a party tomorrow night for us too, to celebrate the first run of the show."

"Cool. Anyone I know gonna be there?"

"Hmm, Yokoi-sensei. I think Mom and Dad want to grill him a little about the movie," Kyousuke sighed, referring to the Takumi-kun film they were about to begin shooting. "Aniki wants to make him cut every scene where you and I touch."

"Boo. Those are my favorites."

"My favorite scene is where Gii cries and Takumi hugs him from behind. You were so amazing when we rehearsed."

Daisuke briefly stroked his hand. "Thank you, baby. I think we should make that a thing for Takumi, hugging from behind. Tomo did it in the first."

"Oh, I loved that scene."

"And it makes sense. Hugging from behind gives Takumi more control. It's safer, a little less intimate."

 _He's so smart._ "Did you take psychology at university?"

"Yeah, just one class. Gii could use one...or a dozen, that idiot."

Kyousuke was surprised. "You don't like Gii?"

"Maybe I will in future movies, but in this movie, he's sexually aggressive and lets Takumi spend most of the story thinking he wants another guy. If Gii just talked to him - "

"There'd be no movie," Kyousuke finished.

"Fair enough. But I'd prefer an hour and a half of just being a happy couple, just kissing and groping and holding hands. I hate that I can't hold your hand right now."

Kyousuke sighed. "Consider it practice. At home, no one can suspect we're together. My family is really protective."

"And I'm the evil pedophile."

Kyousuke shoved him gently. "No, you're my handsome senpai, my awesome big brother. My parents already like you, and I apologize in advance for Aniki. He'll be watching you like a hawk at the very least."

"So I don't get to steal any kisses, or sneak into your room at night?"

"Depends if you want me allowed to do the movie," the teenager said dryly. "Or be permitted to see me at all."

Daisuke pouted. "Maybe this won't be as fun as I thought."

"You don't want to get to know your in-laws?"

The boy sounded a bit timid, so Daisuke quickly scanned the train to be sure no one was looking, then lifted Kyousuke's right hand and kissed the base of his fourth finger.

"Of course I do, baby. I'm still planning to put a ring on this when you turn 18. If it's okay with you, I mean." Daisuke returned the eager smile. "I'll even win over your brother one day."

"Not likely," Kyousuke laughed. "To Aniki, I'll always be a kid, always need protecting."

"Well, he's handed you off to me, whether he knows it or not."

Kyousuke's cheeks went slightly pink. "I'm afraid Aniki sort of thinks of me as his."

"Then I've got to figure out a polite way to tell him you're mine."

Kyousuke quickly kissed his boyfriend, sad not to know when he'd be able to again.

 _daimaodaimaodaimao_

Masanori and Masako both, though they didn't speak it aloud, already were wishing Daisuke was younger and their future son-in-law, not knowing of course he indeed was. The young actor was courteous to the point of chivalry, barely letting Masako lift a finger and always dashing ahead open doors for her, whether at home or at the successful restaurant owned by Masanori. Daisuke insisted on helping to clear the table, tidy up, do dishes. Unbeknownst to the charmed husband and wife, Daisuke was trying to win the love of his future father and mother-in-law.

They were in fact growing to love him, mostly for the care he showed their precious youngest child. The couple were careful to appear as no more than best friends, but with Shinnosuke busy at veterinary school, Kyousuke was still being fussed over, as much or more. The parents who usually had to coerce their skinny son to eat were reprieved, as Daisuke was able to get Kyousuke to clean his plate just by sternly pointing at the uneaten food. Daisuke always seemed to know if Kyousuke needed something, be it a bottle of water or a word of encouragement, before anyone else did.

To Kyousuke's relief, Daisuke was not constantly trying to take his temperature like Shinnosuke did, but was often heard to ask if he felt all right, if anything hurt, if he was tired. And at all times, the young man observed the boy with obvious and unmistakable affection.

While the boys played a video game in the living room and the parents were preparing food for entertaining extended family that night, Masanori hesitantly asked his wife what she thought of Daisuke.

"Dai-chan? He's wonderful. Kyou-chan couldn't have found a more protective or loving best friend."

"He is very...loving."

"What are you trying to ask, Anata?" Masako asked as she washed her hands.

"I'm thinking he may have feelings for Kyou-chan."

"You mean...don't be silly. Kyou-chan said Dai-chan is just getting into character. They are about to play boyfriends, after all."

"I suppose that might explain it." Masanori shook his head. "Maybe I'm just seeing things."

"You know...would it be so bad, though?"

"What?"

Masako smiled secretively down at the shrimp she was de-veining. "Dai-chan being our son-in-law."

Masanori scoffed. "Impossible. He may be nearly perfect, but he's a grown man and far more experienced in everything than our _child_. It would be an unequal relationship, especially considering Kyou-chan's difficulty saying no. If I thought they'd let me, I'd demand to sit in on them running lines, for that reason."

"Dai-chan has promised he'd be careful about that, and Kyou-chan assured me, Dai-chan's got him under orders to stop if he gets uncomfortable."

"I don't mean to say I don't trust Dai-chan," Masanori said as he began to chop vegetables. "He's the best we could hope for to watch over our son. It's just..."

"Anata, I know," Masako said softly. "But Dai-chan doesn't look at Kyou-chan the way men do. He's different."

The man simply nodded, thinking, _How different, I wonder?_

 _daimaodaimaodaimao_

Daisuke had come to meet his future in-laws, and he got his wish and then some. There were in fact in two parties scheduled, one at home for extended family, and one at the restaurant the following night which would be a dinner followed by coffee back at the house. On the first night, Daisuke found himself surrounded by Hamaos, all happy to meet him and quick to declare him a wonderful influence on Kyousuke.

To Daisuke's amusement and happiness, he saw that Kyousuke was the center of his family's universe, trying constantly to refuse gifts and money from relatives who were endlessly hugging him, patting him, trying to pull him onto their laps. Daisuke further adored his boyfriend for not being a brat when he had clearly been spoiled by presents and attention from his very loving family. Most of them had seen a Tenimyu performance and declared, to Kyousuke's embarrassment, that he was the obvious star of the show. And it seemed that the boy's size was a concern that went beyond the immediate family, as the entire night grandparents, aunts, and uncles were repeatedly pushing food on him or giving him candy.

Daisuke watched all this with amusement, happy that his boyfriend was so adored and holding back laughter when Kyousuke became firmly trapped on his grandfather's lap. The actor was less happy to find a serious-looking Shinnosuke standing next to him by the fireplace. More serious than usual, even.

"Konban wa, Shinnosuke-san."

"Hello, Daisuke-san." The young man had not yet once used Daisuke's preferred nickname. "Are you enjoying yourself?"

"I am. I'm happy to see Mao-kun is so well cared for when he's at home."

"Kyou-chan is the family treasure, yes. I hope you'll keep that in mind."

"Shinnosuke-san, I hope I'm able to win your trust somehow. Again, I promise you, Mao-kun is my best friend, the little brother I always wanted." Daisuke blinked to cover a wince; it hurt to lie. "I'll always look after and protect him."

"Why?"

The question caught Daisuke off guard. "Why?"

"Yes, why? Why does my baby brother mean so much to you?"

"Um...I don't know. I care about him a lot and he needs a lot of protection. You warned me of that before we started Tenimyu, that Mao-kun tends to draw negative attention."

"Has anything happened I'm not aware of?"

"Just looks," Daisuke lied. "Suggestive words. He made the mistake of Googling his name."

"I've made complaints about that site. The idea that sick old men are fantasizing about Kyou-chan…" Shinnosuke looked equal parts sick and angry. "Are there any other reasons for you caring about him?"

 _You're trying to trap me._ "He's just special. Fragile and somehow incredibly strong. I admire him."

"And very beautiful."

It would have been ridiculous and suspicious to deny it. "He is beautiful. Maybe that's part of why we in the cast are so protective."

"It's a curse," Shinnosuke said flatly. "People have stared at him since he was small, that damn hungry look. I've never seen it on you, and that's why I trust you."

"Thank you," Daisuke said sincerely. He was genuinely touched. "Shinnosuke-san, thank you."

"I'll still be watching you." But the man smiled. "I am always watching."

"Should we, uh, rescue Mao-kun?"

"From Ojiisan, you mean? He'll give up Kyou-chan when he's ready and not a moment before. He's stubborn like that."

"A family trait, huh?"

Shinnosuke barked a short laugh.

 _daimaodaimaodaimao_

Kyousuke couldn't help but think this might would be more suited to someone like Shogo, who thrived on attention, rather than himself who didn't like all eyes on him. He loved everyone present and knew they meant well, but he felt too old now to be passed around from embrace to embrace, spoiled with gifts, and now be stuck on his coddling grandfather's lap. He just wanted to go be with Daisuke alone, not hear over and over how handsome he was and how he must be driving the ladies crazy. The boy had no immediate plans to reveal his sexual orientation, though he knew none of them would reject him for it.

"…new movie," the old man holding him was saying; Kyousuke had guiltily missed the first part. "Though I'm not sure I'll be able to watch it. Masako said there are…well, that there are some intimate scenes. Aren't you a bit young for that, Kyou-chan?"

"I'm almost seventeen, Ojiichan."

"Ridiculous. Seems like only yesterday you were taking your first steps and I was picking you up and spinning you around to make you giggle."

"Ojiichan," the embarrassed boy whined.

"Sorry, Kyou-chan," the old man said, patting his head.

Kyousuke was soon set free, but only to be confined on yet another lap. His father's older brother Takanori actually had to be asked not to bounce him on the broad knees as though he were a toddler.

"Sorry, baby," Takanori said mildly, with a smile. "But you still seem to weigh about the same."

The boy pouted. "I'm not that small."

"Did you up your calorie intake like I told you to?"

"Don't worry, the whole cast has been shoving food down my throat."

"Don't sound so dejected, Kyou-chan. I'm just concerned, as your favorite uncle – "

"Everyone is," Kyousuke sighed.

" - and as a medical professional."

The boy laughed shortly. His uncle was actually a veterinarian; it was his large clinic in Shibuya that Shinnosuke was interning at, and planning to join and one day take over. Love of animals was definitely a Hamao family trait, and Takanori was the one who had given Kyousuke his beloved Roku after finding the kitten abandoned beside a highway.

Takanori was now gently stroking his nephew's back, and the boy silently said a prayer of thanks for being able to accept touch from his family. There was after all no negative association there, and he had been held and kissed and patted by relatives since he was born, and it felt calm and safe even though the nearly-17-year-old thought he was too old to be so coddled.

"So, about that cute older guy that you brought home with you – Kyou-chan, you just shivered. Are you cold?"

"No, I'm – don't feel my forehead, if Aniki sees he'll insist on taking my temperature."

"Maybe he should. Why did you shiver?"

"I don't know, but really, I'm fine."

"Then about this Dai-chan, you two must have gotten close quickly. He seems very nice."

Kyousuke, though wary, smiled. "He's wonderful."

"Very careful with you too, which I think has won us all over. Is Dai-chan as devoted as he seems?"

"I'm his new little brother, he says. He takes care of me like he promised Touchan and Kaachan he would. I feel very safe with him."

"Safe enough to do that movie, you're about to shoot, even though you'll be giving your first kiss to an older man while cameras are rolling?"

The family, of course, had never been told about Yuya. "Actually, with Mom and Dad's permission, we've been practice-kissing while running lines."

Takanori grinned and squeezed his shoulder. "Kyou-chan, you've had your first kiss. How was it?"

 _They're all amazing._ "Very gentle. He seems to think I'll break any moment."

"Come closer for a sec."

"Ojichan – "

The man was pulling the boy back further into his lap, tucking the teenager's head under his chin. He then whispered, "I just don't want to be overheard. Kyou-chan, you're aware this guy's fallen for you, right?"

The actor stiffened. "N-No, don't be ridiculous, he's my older brother, he's never touched me or anything so – "

"Kid, do _you_ like _him_?"

A long pause. A soft murmur. "You won't tell?"

"If you're not being hurt, not a word."

"We're in love," Kyousuke whispered shakily. "He treats me like something sacred. He wants to marry me."

"Oh, Kyou-chan. You weren't going to tell me?"

"No one yet. Aniki would hurt Dai-chan."

The man stroked the boy's hair, and Kyousuke briefly shut his eyes. Telling someone, someone who'd loved him since his birth and he loved in return, was like a weight off his heart.

"You _are_ sacred."

"I'm not, why does everyone – "

"You're the beating heart of this loving family, Kyou-chan. Who knows why? But our happiness depends upon yours. I think, given time and Dai-chan proving his worth, we'll all be willing to give a part of you to him."

"Ojichan…"

"I learned a new poem recently." Takanori loved poetry, was forever reading it in the multiple languages he spoke. "Reminded me of you. Want to hear?"

The boy nodded, and Takanori softly recited two stanzas, a Japanese translation he'd made himself, even skillfully having preserved the rhyme. It left Kyousuke not knowing how he felt, other than strangely, dangerously, irrevocably important.

"Tell me the original language."

"'I watched you walk across the street slightly stooped, not seeing me, and smiled to see that mixture of clumsiness, grace, intensity. Then suddenly I feared the cars, the streets you cross, the days you pass. You hold me like a glass holds water. You can be shattered like a glass.'"

 _daimaodaimaodaimao_

From the beginning of the visit, the couple had a hard time. They had gotten, doing Tenimyu, used to being able to kiss and cuddle almost whenever they wanted to. In the Hamao household, they were limited to chaste hugs and quick stolen kisses. They were having fun, though, with Kyousuke getting rest in familiar surroundings, and Daisuke getting to know his future family and Masako happily showing him baby pictures of Kyousuke.

On the first day they were there, Masanori took them out on his boat. It was still a bit too cold for swimming, but they fished and caught crabs which Masako cooked that night for the family gathering. The following day, Shinnosuke surprised everyone by taking the couple out for a long scenic ride, having rented a motorcycle for Daisuke and teaching him how to ride, and himself riding with Kyousuke behind him. When they stopped for lunch, Daisuke made sure to encourage Kyousuke to sit beside Shinnosuke rather than himself. The older brother at this gave Daisuke a meaningful look and a nod of thanks.

"How is…running lines going?" Shinnosuke asked with some difficulty.

"Your brother is a better and better actor each day. After this movie, he's going to be flooded with scripts."

"Hmm. I hope you'll keep clearing them with us, Kyou-chan."

"I will! And thank you, Dai-chan. If I can someday be as good as you, I'll be really happy."

While modestly scoffing, Daisuke gently rubbed his foot against Kyousuke's beneath the table, making the boy shyly smile.

"Shinnosuke-san, when did Mao-kun get interested in acting? He's never told me."

"Well, when he was twelve or so, Kaasan got tired of agents approaching us on the street and surrendered, getting Kyou-chan into modeling. He liked being on camera but not just standing there doing nothing. His agency switched him to their acting division, he auditioned for Tenimyu, and the rest is history."

"What is it you like about being on camera, Mao-kun?" Daisuke asked, genuinely interested because he didn't know.

The boy shrugged off a bit of discomfort. "I guess…the camera operator's hidden from me by the equipment. I can't tell that he's looking at me." Kyousuke quickly began looking through his menu. "Um, Dai-chan, I know you like crab, they have really good crabcakes here."

"Oh, really? That does sound good."

Both men observed the boy forcing a smile with concern. Shinnosuke accepted that his brother didn't want to discuss this further, but while he perused his own menu he placed a hand on the small of the boy's back. _I love you_ , Daisuke shouted mentally as loud as he could. Kyousuke started, then looked at him, and the almost-amber eyes echoed the message back.

"Kyou-chan, they have that strawberry shortcake back on the menu."

"Ooh, really?"

"You can get it if you eat enough."

"Aniki, you know the portions are huge here. Can I order from the kids' section, then, since you apparently think I'm five?"

Shinnosuke reacted to the boy's annoyance by smiling and patting his back. "No. Two-thirds of whatever you want, okay? Eat that much and you can have the dessert."

Kyousuke pouted at his boyfriend. "You gonna weigh in with conditions too, Other Older Brother?"

"Yes. You have to order off the entrees section, not the appetizers."

Kyousuke's eyes widened. "Hey, how did you know – "

Daisuke laughed, reaching over to gently muss the boy's hair. Shinnosuke looked at the elder actor with a newfound respect, and lifted his water to clink glasses with Daisuke.

"Not bad…partner."

Kyousuke looked at them with happiness. This budding friendship between his guardians was worth having to eat a full lunch. He decided he would eat every bite, no encouraging required.

 _daimaodaimaodaimao_

With two parties happening in two days, the Hamao parents were busy with preparations, and Shinnosuke was pacified for the moment. Daisuke and Kyousuke were left with plenty of time and freedom to hold hands under the dining room table, steal quick kisses when they were sure they were alone, and of course to run lines.

Kyousuke was finding it gradually easier to slip on the persona of Hayama Takumi, a gentle, uncertain, damaged boy who was pained by the belief that his boyfriend and savior had fallen for someone else. He increased his own slightly halting manner of speech in crafting Takumi. Having done some research on sex abuse victims, Kyousuke looked down and not into Daisuke's eyes when they read the pages, and shrank back from touches except during rehearsal for the intimate scenes. He was so good at flinching and being sad that the other actor kept calling halt to the rehearsal to check whether Kyousuke himself was actually okay. The boy would then laugh, elated that he had fooled and pleased his much-adored boyfriend.

Despite Kyousuke's insistence that he had it perfect, Daisuke wanted to several times go over and refine Gii's reveal to Takumi about their friend Suzuki's (played by Taka) fatal illness. It was a rare vulnerable moment for the calm and collected rich-boy character, and Daisuke considered it vitally important for Gii's story arc. Each run-through of it, each heartfelt confession and dissolve into tears amazed Kyousuke, who each time got to practice Takumi's now-signature hug from behind. The third time, Daisuke added at the end Gii briefly stroking the hands clasped around him before "Gii" left Takumi behind to answer a phone call.

As the elder laughed and wiped away his tears, Kyousuke gleefully hugged him. "That was the best yet!"

"You've said that every time, baby." Daisuke kissed him.

"I meant it! You have to leave that in, where you touch my hands. It's such a good moment for Gii, he never – "

" – lets Takumi see him vulnerable, I know. And best of all, I get to touch you."

"You're so amazing." Kyousuke looked at his boyfriend with complete adoration. "What are you doing with someone like me?"

"I've told you. I stole the luck of three thousand other people to get you."

"I…"

"Baby?"

"I miss you so much. I don't know how I'll make it till we go on location. I actually have to touch myself at night now and I never used…"

"God, baby, I know," Daisuke groaned, pushing his hair roughly back. "I'm going crazy without you too. Tell you what, tomorrow we'll claim some sort of day trip and go to a hotel. Not one around here, because if my blue balls have done nothing else, I think I've gotten in good with your family."

"Are you kidding? I think Aniki actually trusts you. I have friends I've known since kindergarten Aniki is suspicious of." Kyousuke grabbed him into a hug, sighed contentedly to feel his back and hair being stroked. "And Kaachan and Touchan, all they talk about is how nice you are, how glad they are you're in my life, how they worry less because you're protecting me. Um, Dai-chan?"

"Yeah, honey?"

"My uncle, the one who wouldn't let me off his lap? He knows."

Daisuke stiffened. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, but he's fine with it. I told him we're in love and he promised we'll get to tell my parents in our own time."

The elder breathed out in relief. "Okay. If you're sure we can trust him."

"What would we have done if he told on us, do you think?"

"We'd be halfway to Bolivia by now. Trust me."

Kyousuke snickered into Daisuke's shoulder. "You'd kidnap me? That's…oddly romantic."

"Keep a bag packed in case your uncle squeals."

"He won't. I just told you so if Ojichan winks at you tonight at the party, you wouldn't be alarmed."

"So, who's gonna be at this thing, besides Sensei?"

Kyousuke shrugged. "Don't know. Family friends. There are a lot of them, but Touchan and Kaachan know I'm not good with big crowds, so I guess a small selection of whoever's available."

Daisuke's tone dropped several octaves. "Do they still socialize with anyone who bothered you?"

"I..I don't think so." _Gods, I didn't even think of that._

"Baby." The arms around him tightened. "If you see anyone who even looked at you strangely, never mind touched, you tell me, right away."

"Of course."

 _How can I? We've come so far. I can't give away our secret now._ Kyousuke pressed his face into the comforting scent. _I can't give you up. Now or ever._

 _daimaodaimaodaimao_

Kyousuke convinced his parents to let him arrive with Daisuke a little late to the party, mostly because he truly couldn't wait any longer to feel his boyfriend's hands. While they were supposedly working on a difficult scene, the pair actually took the little time they were given to feverishly grope each other on Kyousuke's bed. One hand inside Kyousuke's underwear, Daisuke pushed his boyfriend's thin sweater up and sucked as gently as he could on a nipple, considering how much need he was feeling.

Kyousuke couldn't go long before he groped for Daisuke's zipper. "Dai-chan need to taste you please – "

Daisuke was more interested in doing that to Kyousuke, but when the boy flipped them over so Daisuke was beneath him, he simply laughed, happy that his young lover was comfortable being assertive. Kyousuke eagerly took the erection into his mouth and sucked, moaning with pleasure, soothed by the shape and taste of it. Daisuke stroked his hair and tried to hold off long enough to enjoy himself. But it wasn't much more than a minute before he was coming, and Kyousuke wouldn't be dislodged, drank it all down.

Daisuke settled Kyousuke down on the mattress with much more gentleness than he had been thrown down himself, yanked the trousers down to the teenager's knees, and licked it all over till the weeping cock glistened before swallowing it. The moans that answered this made him all the more hungry to sample the boy's clean flavor. Briefly licking a finger, Daisuke then probed into the cavern awaiting it. He now needed only seconds to locate the prostate, and lucky for them the house was empty, because Kyousuke almost screamed.

"Yes, there, yes _yes_ – "

Even with the stimulation, the younger actor took a long time to reach his peak, and Daisuke loved this, that he was able to enjoy so much time of Kyousuke being pleasured until he was beyond words. This time, though, something new happened. All of a sudden, Daisuke grabbed Kyousuke's trembling hand, placed it on the saliva-wet organ and breathlessly ordered, "Stroke."

"What – "

Before Kyousuke could ask, his hips were being lifted, thighs placed on Daisuke's shoulders, and the face he admired was pressing into his backside. The elder's long, slippery tongue forced its way into him, flickering against the nerve endings, just able to touch the hyper-sensitive gland.

"What are – oh – D-Dai-chan…"

The boy dissolved into a shaking mess of moans. At first it seemed gross, Daisuke kissing this inner part of him, this sometimes-dirty part, but the boy was fastidious, the passage kept clean, and how could something that felt so nice be wrong?

Kyousuke did his best to stroke himself as he'd been told to, but so stimulated internally, he could hardly feel it. He could hardly think, nor notice how long it took before he began his slow eruption. When he did, Daisuke moved from the little hole he'd been exploring and drank down the trickling semen. He hummed at the sweet taste as he took it in, marveling as always at how even someone so beautiful could taste so genuinely good.

When it was over, he refastened the boy's pants and tried to kiss him, Daisuke was batted away with a laugh.

"No way," the musical voice said. "I can't believe you…down there…didn't it feel – "

"Gross? Before you, I always thought so. But I've been fantasizing about this and I was right. You taste clean everywhere."

"I'm all wet inside now, and I'm not kissing you until you use mouthwash."

"Oh, I can make you wetter, baby."

Kyousuke regretfully batted him off. "We have to go, baka."

 _daimaodaimaodaimao_

Masanori's restaurant was a successful and popular one, beautiful, especially at night with all the paper lamps in the larger and smaller tatami rooms, the ornate scroll paintings, the stone lanterns outside arranged around a courtyard that featured a small garden and koi pond. Kyousuke had grown up seeing this place often, and preferred it this way, lit up for customers but closed for a private affair.

Daisuke stopped suddenly just before the entrance, and grabbed his boyfriend's hand. "Wow."

"You like it?"

"It'll be perfect."

"Eh?"

"For our wedding reception."

Kyousuke blushed. "That's n-not even legal here."

"We hold the ceremony somewhere it is, then. Do you want to?"

"Yes," the shy boy said at once.

Daisuke kissed his hand before letting go. "Activate big-brother mode. Okay, ready."

As they'd been told to, the couple headed toward the second-largest private room, careful to remove their shoes first. When they entered the room full of lively chatter, everyone stood, and Masanori came over to them.

"We've been waiting, boys! Kyou-chan, I think you remember everyone here…"

A flood of greetings and coos about his cuteness washed over the boy. He froze and couldn't breathe for a moment as his eyes fell on one smiling man, but Daisuke didn't see this, as he was busy speaking pleasantries and trying to remember names. He smoothly deflected the flirting of the invited women, and laughed when Shinnosuke defended him, saying, "Don't bother, Daisuke-san is busy these days protecting my brother."

The man identified as Endoke-san said over the low roar of voices, "Kyousuke-kun, it's been so long. Won't you sit by me?"

Fearing his voice would shake, Kyousuke smiled and had nearly resigned himself to it, but Shinnosuke spoke again. "Daisuke-san and I called dibs, sorry. C'mon, you two."

Without realizing it, his aniki had saved him. Kyousuke relaxed and sat at his place between his protectors, and accepted offerings of dishes, many of them his favorites.

"You eat salmon now?" Shinnosuke observed. "You used to be pickier about sashimi."

Kyousuke smiled, thinking of Yuya. "A friend got me to give it another try."

"Ooh, just a friend?" teased a bejeweled woman who self-identified as Ayako-chan.

"Yes! They're all my friends."

"Too bad. We thought once you got out from under your big brother's thumb you might start to date."

"And all of them are so cute," another woman giggled.

Masanori coughed. "Most of them are considerably older than Kyou-chan. Dai-chan here has taken up Shinnosuke's role of guardian."

"Just while I'm not around," Shinnosuke clarified.

"Kyousuke-kun, I bet you're meeting a lot of cute girl fans."

"Um, yeah, they're nice, but we're not really supposed to fraternize."

"When I was there, I was surprised by the number of men there," one gentleman observed innocently, and Shinnosuke frowned.

"A lot of girls come with their dads," Daisuke said nonchalantly. He threw his best reassuring look toward Shinnosuke, who subtly nodded.

The handsome older man Endoke raised a glass of sake in the actors' direction. "We're all so excited about the new movie. I saw the first one, and I think you two will fit the roles perfectly."

"Thank you," Daisuke said, then more softly to Kyousuke, "What's wrong?"

The boy stopped his nervous shifting. "Nothing, I had a burr on my sock."

Shinnosuke jumped in before Daisuke could speak further. "Are you bleeding? Want me to take a look?"

Kyousuke shook his head and forced out a laugh. "I'm _fine_ , guys. Go obsess over something else."

Ayako-chan snickered. "Kyousuke-kun, you're your brother's hobby, and Daisuke-san needs to get in character."

"He's always like this, believe me," Kyousuke said, rolling his eyes.

The dinner went on, accompanied by chatter. Shinnosuke and Daisuke watched their charge, unaware the seemingly-calm boy was giving a performance, unnoticing of Endoke's silent staring.

 _daimaodaimaodaimao_

At the Hamao home after the dinner, Kyousuke was beginning to get tired of even the small crowd, many of whom he'd known a long time and all of whom liked to fawn over him. Daisuke tried to keep close to him, but he had made a good impression and everyone wanted to talk to him about his precious charge and the work they were about to do.

Kyousuke's uncle Takanori was in attendance, and the boy was grateful for the distraction when the jovial man maneuvered him into a corner. "How's it going, kid?"

"Okay."

"You looked a bit pale during dinner. Trouble in paradise?"

"Of course not. I always look white in lamplight." Kyousuke forced a smile. "Did you need something?"

"Well, it's Minami's birthday next week," the man said, referring to his 11-year-old daughter, "and I have no ideas. I know she's obsessed with one of your castmates, the little guy, what's his name…"

"Shogo?"

"Yeah, that's it! Can you get me something with his DNA on it?"

Kyousuke wrinkled his nose. "Like a used tissue or something?"

Takanori laughed. "Why not? Then she can clone him."

"I have an idea," Kyousuke said excitedly. "I have a nice screenshot of him. We'll time it so just as she unwraps it, her phone will ring and it'll be him."

Takanori looked thrilled. "Really? He'd do it?"

"Oh, yeah, no problem, I'll talk to him. He lives for flirting with his fans. Mina's coming to a performance in the next run, right? I'll take her backstage to take pictures with him."

"You're a lifesaver, Kyou-chan."

"I'll go grab the photo for you now, it's a good one."

Almost having forgotten his apprehension, Kyousuke bounded up the stairs and into his bedroom. After one of the early photo shoots the 4th-generation Seigaku had done, each team member had been gifted a packet of all the pictures, both individual and group shots. He found Shogo's quickly, laughed at the boy's usual cocky grin…then heard the sound of his door clicking shut.

"Kyousuke-kun, you aren't avoiding me, are you?"

 _No. No no no._ The boy's stomach sank and his eyes instantly stung with tears. It had been bad enough last year when the man had fondled him during a family dinner, all while speaking pleasantly about his business ventures. The boy was alone now, rooms away from his protectors, and he knew he needed to scream, but he couldn't force out a single audible sound. He had to hold onto the desk while he turned around, afraid his legs would give out.

Handsome Endoke was slowly stepping forward, savoring the boy's fear, looming over him from an above-average height. He was smiling pleasantly, holding his hands up as though to signify safety, but the look in his eyes was unmistakable. Shinnosuke loathed it, Daisuke fumed over it, and since his rape, especially, Kyousuke saw it everywhere he went.

The boy dumbly shook his head, knees knocking as the happy predator closed in on him. The boy knew he had to make noise, couldn't make any with his voice, so he tried sweeping everything off his desk to the floor. Unfortunately, much of it hit the bed soundlessly, including the heavy lamp, and Endoke immediately seized him by his wrists and pulled the shaking body close.

"My sweet boy. Are you still innocent, or have those boys you act with gotten you to spread your legs? You know you want it. Your body screams that you want it. I know you're scared, ssh. I can take good care of you."

Endoke transferred hold of the thin wrists to one hand and stroke a wet silken cheek, following when the teenager turned away.

"I told you, you don't need to be afraid. How long have you known me? I love you and I'd never hurt you." He brushed stray locks of hair back from the small face. "Those boys all must want you so badly. But only I can satisfy you. I have experience and I love you more than they do."

 _This is not love. Dai-chan loves me._ But the words wouldn't come out. Endoke gently swiped the tears from beneath the boy's eyes.

"Ssh," Endoke cooed, unbuttoning the teenager's jeans. "Ssh."

He slid his hand inside Kyousuke's underwear and began to slowly stroke it. Logically, Endoke must have known how risky this was in a home full of people who adored this child, but rather than keep his hands off Kyousuke, Endoke found it exciting to have him here and now, as a slap in the face to his many guardians, especially that new Daisuke who was obviously in love with the kid.

"My dear little boy. Have you learned yet to accept what you were born for? Surely your friends have taught you at least this much."

All Kyousuke could do was shake his head and make a soft keening sound. Endoke took one of the kid's hands and placed in on his own clothed crotch. Endoke guided the slender fingers to stroke himself and hummed with pleasure.

"So beautiful. I want you so much. Someday we'll find a time and a place for me to really have you. I want to be your first, pop your little cherry, make it so good that you'll want it all the time." The man's eyes were glazed, feverish, careless with overwhelming desire. "I want to take you far away, keep you, be able to fuck you every day. You'd be good for me, wouldn't you? You don't say no."

"No," Kyousuke mouthed. He felt he was working up to the scream he needed.

Endoke looked frustrated. "You're older, why aren't you getting hard? Doesn't it feel good?"

 _No! How can you think it does? I want Dai-chan!_

Endoke closed further the distance between them, pressing his body against Kyousuke's. He moved his face in as though to kiss him. Undeterred when Kyousuke turned away in disgust, Endoke pushed his face into the boy's neck and inhaled. "You still smell sweet," Endoke murmured, and started to lick and kiss the skin.

The scream was about to come out. The door opened, and Endoke quickly moved away, and there was the welcome sight of Daisuke. He looked enraged, yelled "Masanori-san," and grabbed Endoke roughly by his tie.

"What the hell were you doing?!"

"Something private, Daisuke-san, none of your business."

"Mao-kun is my business and you were touching him!"

"We've kept what we had secret, Kyousuke insisted."

Though shaking, the teenager found his courage. "I t-told you no. I t-tell you no every time and you didn't stop."

"I ought to kill you, you worthless piece of shit," Daisuke hissed to Endoke.

Masanori hurried in, took in the scene he saw with confusion, and quickly went to his son who was beginning to sob. He gathered Kyousuke into a protective hug and pet him reassuringly while asking, "What's going on here? Kyou-chan, are you hurt?"

The boy shook his head, clearly not wanting to say it. Daisuke did it for him.

"Masanori-san, I found Endoke touching your son intimately, with Mao-kun clearly not wanting it. And from what Mao-kun has told me, this isn't the first time. Mao-kun, am I right?"

"I'm sorry," the boy said, several times, until the words dissolved back into weeping.

With the expression of someone who'd been stabbed in the heart, Masanori fought back tears and said to his son, "Kyou-chan, you've done nothing wrong. I'm so sorry for letting this happen but I promise, he's never getting near you again. Dai-chan, would you…?"

The actor understood, roughly letting go of the pervert and moving to take Kyousuke. "Please, no violence, Masanori-san. I don't think Mao-kun can take that."

The usually-jovial man nodded shortly, went to the nervous would-be rapist, grabbed him by the front of his shirt and shook him.

"How could you, Endoke? We've been friends since university, and you've known Kyou-chan since he was born." Masanori's voice broke on the last word. "How could you?"

"Masa, I'm sorry. I tried to resist, I really did, but I couldn't. I didn't think I was hurting him, I thought he was just too shy to say he liked it – "

"He is sixteen years old! He can't consent even if he wanted to! And how dare you imply that my _child liked_ you molesting him!"

Masako appeared in the doorway. "Anata, what's going on? Kyou-chan, sweetie, what's wrong?"

"Dai-chan caught Endoke touching our son, Masako," Masanori said through clenched teeth.

The woman went pale, hurried to her son, and Daisuke regretfully but instantly surrendered him into her warm and perfumed embrace. "Thank you," she mouthed to Daisuke, then gently said to Kyousuke, "Kyou-chan, are you all right?"

"I-I'm fine, please, d-don't let Touchan hurt anyone."

"Anata, should we…?"

"Call the police? I don't want to put him through that."

Endoke looked scared. "Police? Please, Masa, for our friendship's sake – "

"You were clearly never my friend, you fucking pig."

"Just let me go, you'll never see me again, I promise I won't come near your family again. Please?"

"P-Please, Touchan?" Kyousuke said with as much strength as he could.

Masanori took several deep breaths, trying to vent this anger in a way that wouldn't upset his already-distraught son. "All right. Endoke, you stay out of this neighborhood. You don't come near Kyousuke or any of the rest of us. You don't so much as think about him."

"I-I swear."

"One last thing, then you can go. Masako, shield his eyes."

The woman knew her husband well. She swiftly maneuvered Kyousuke to face the wall, and the boy merely sniffled at the sound of Endoke being punched hard. He did not see the pale man bow, blood gushing from his nose, and stumble out of the room. Masanori then came over to his wife and son and hugged them both. After a few long moments, Masanori stepped back and turned to an awkward-feeling Daisuke.

"Dai-chan, thank you so much. You're always on guard duty, it seems."

The actor bowed. "It's a duty I'm glad to keep."

Masanori walked closer and reached out to shake Daisuke's hand. "Thank you."

"Thank you, dear."

"Dai-chan," Kyousuke said softly.

"It's all right now, Mao-kun."

"Stay with me, please?"

"Masanori-san, may I stay with Mao-kun in his room tonight? I don't think he should be alone."

The man was beginning to calm from his rage and forced a watery smile. "Of course, and thank you. Usually Shinnosuke…but you've somehow earned his trust and he won't mind surrendering this duty to you. Expect him to check on you frequently, though."

 _No hanky-panky, got it. I don't think Mao's up for that, anyway._

Masako gently passed her trembling son into Daisuke's arms, and noticed, though she didn't say it, that the shaking nearly stopped. "Anata, Shinnosuke needs to be told."

"I know…once that bastard is gone. Otherwise we'll have a dead body on our hands."

When the parents finally left after reassuring themselves Kyousuke was where he wanted to be, Daisuke gently kissed away some of his drying tears.

"Baby. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Nothing that happened tonight is your fault."

"Dai-chan…I think I'm ready."

 _For sex? Oh no you're not._ "For what, honey?"

Kyousuke breathed the word softly into his neck. "Takumi."

 **To be continued.**

 **The poem Takanori quotes is "The Dangerous World" by Naomi Replansky.**


	19. Chapter 19

_Um…sorry. /bows head/ Gomennasai. Life got in the way, chronic pain too, and I can't write unless I'm happy, and ask me how many meds I'm on for depression and anxiety. I can't promise I'll be updating quickly, but I will try HARD not to let a hiatus like this happen again. This story will be completed, no matter how long it takes. I just really hope some of you are still here with me._

 _With that said, I don't own these real people, no offense intended, let's get to some post-hurt comfort, my favorite. Sexual situations ahead, no kiddies allowed._

 **HATSUKOI  
Chapter 19**

Kyousuke understandably had trouble falling asleep that night, even with Daisuke mere inches away and keeping a sort of watch over him. They were careful not to touch, knowing Shinnosuke might return any moment to briefly open the door and poke his head in.

Much as Daisuke wanted the emotionally-exhausted boy to rest, he realized that talking might purge some of the sadness from him. "When did it start?"

A shift, hesitation, but a reply. "When I was…I guess around ten, he started to make me sit on his lap. Sometimes he would be…hard, but I didn't understand. He was always touching, especially my legs under the table. Eventually…between my legs. Now and then he's caught me alone and…he kept saying he'd be able to get me hard when I was older. He'd say awful things, that every man who claimed to love me just wanted to…even Aniki."

"Oh, baby."

"I didn't believe him, but he always made me think about the way people look at me. He'd push me against walls and press against me…I couldn't move or make any noise."

"Baby, that day you had the panic attack, was it because you remembered – "

"Yeah. But this time was the worst, because I know what love feels like now. It made what he did…"

"Worse by comparison?"

"Mmm. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I just kept hoping he'd stop."

"Honey, are there other friends of your parents who have touched you?"

"Not touched. One or two kind of…stare. I don't want to get anyone in trouble, especially since I could be imagining it."

"If they ever – "

"I'll tell you. I'm sorry, Dai-chan."

"Don't feel bad, baby. I know that you try to protect me too."

"Of course. I love you."

Daisuke briefly stroked his cheek. "I know the feeling."

"Did you ever love anyone before me?"

"No, just infatuations here and there. Anyway, what I feel for you is broader and stronger than love. It needs a new name."

"Like what?"

"Something all-encompassing. Something more than my own life. You are everything."

"What about the rest of your life? Your parents, your sister?"

"I love them. But all I see and know is you."

The boy shifted a little. "That's kind of scary. What if I disappoint you?"

"You could exhibit a million flaws and you'd still be perfect to me."

"I love you," Kyousuke whispered. "I thought romantic feelings would scare me forever, but when you touch me, I feel like I'll be okay. That nothing can hurt me in a way that lasts."

Daisuke gently stroked the boy's petal-soft cheek. "I wish I could have my hands on you every second. Not just for my need, but to protect you."

"You can't be with me every second, Dai-chan."

"If I were ever granted one wish…"

"Not world peace?"

The elder laughed shortly. "I'm not that altruistic."

"You're perfect."

Daisuke traced the features of the delicately beautiful face slowly and reverently. His thumb lingered over the lips, so long they couldn't resist parting and taking it inside.

"B-Baby, your brother – "

He couldn't finish. The younger was breathing heavily, sucking the thumb with soft, childish hums of desire, pale, pink-hued eyelids closed. Kyousuke held onto the elbow to keep Daisuke's hand at his face, though Daisuke wasn't sure he would be able to pull back anyway, as he stared with dumb want at the sight of his angelic lover sucking his thumb, half baby-innocent, half inciting a burning desire. He wanted to devour the hungry little mouth, get on top of the boy, strip him and suck his breasts until they were red and sore, slide fingers inside him, pleasure him into coming a rope of semen Daisuke could drink, gently fuck the boy until neither of them could move for exhaustion.

 _I can't, can't touch him now, we could be checked on any second_ , Daisuke babbled internally, so of course his free hand went under the blanket covering them. He cupped Kyousuke's penis over the sleeping pants and rubbed it in almost a massage, making the boy quietly moan.

 _We can't do this, too risky_ , but his fingers then slid inside the pants, teasing the smooth cock into hardness. Even in the dark, he could see, or perhaps just feel warm pink come into the boy's cheeks. Daisuke freed his thumb, smiled not-quite-sanely at the childish moan of protest this prompted, and drew the blanket off to bare his thinly-clothed lover. He pushed the pajama top up to his collar bone, pulled the pants down to the knees, and the pearly skin provided its own light.

Kyousuke hummed questioningly, blinked sleepy-eyed, and Daisuke unthinkingly grabbed his phone and began taking photos of the bared perfection. He snapped himself toying with a rosy nipple, his fingers rolling a pendulous testicle, manipulating the tip of the small cock into forming a drop of fluid.

"D-Dai-chan?"

"Are you afraid, baby?"

"No, need you, please – "

The adult actor tossed his phone aside to begin thumbing the silk-soft nipples. They weren't like women's, dark and turning into brown thumb-like projections, instead staying dusky pink and only hardening into slight mounds. The color matched the baby-rose of the parted and panting lips, the flush painting the face's cheeks. The boy trembled as though his feverish body were cold, head lolled as palms were placed down to knead the flat breasts. Kyousuke arched into the massage, groaned with passion, and soon used a shaking hand to try to pull Daisuke's head to his chest.

The elder licked a circle around one nipple, then took it into his mouth to suck and forcefully press with his tongue. He couldn't see, but sensed the boy's eyes roll back, heard the choking sound escape him. The dry breast continued to be massaged, and after a few minutes Daisuke switched sides.

When he felt finished, Daisuke examined his work, seeing with satisfaction that the breasts protruded slightly, swollen from his work. "Does it hurt?" he asked with sudden concern, and the dazed boy shook his head. Daisuke kissed down his taut little stomach, kissed all over the erect penis and lapped up the few pearls of pre-come that glistened on the head.

"D-Dai-chan?"

"Baby?"

"Empty…feel so…please?"

The elder understood; he wanted to penetrate as much as the boy wanted to be filled. Shinnosuke was forgotten by them both now, but Daisuke remembered what he had with little thought bought and hidden in Kyousuke's nightstand, and thank the gods, because the boy was so aroused that even a full hand of fingers wouldn't be enough for him. Daisuke stroked the kid's cheeks with the small red vibrator, wet it as much as possible with oil, and gently parted the boy's legs.

Kyousuke bent his knees, giving consent as he bared his most private place. The slick head rubbed encouragingly the entrance of his little hole, this next step up from fingers but not quite real sex, and Daisuke twirled it a little bit around like a screw as he very gently pressed it inside, awed by the sight of the red plastic disappearing into the slender body.

"Unh…unh…" Kyousuke stretched like a cat, widening his smooth thighs apart, blinking rapidly in surprise at the lack of pain. He had expected having to push bravely through this, not that it would feel good. "D-D…"

"Do you want me to stop?"

"No, no, unh, it feels…"

It was pressing every nerve ending, filling something that desperately needed filling. Kyousuke rolled his hips to take more, groaned and trembled as the toy was swallowed by his internal heat. Daisuke stroked the lower stomach meanwhile and imagined he could feel the vibrator through it, though he could not despite the boy's slightness. In the silver moonlight from the window, Daisuke could see the saliva-slicked chest heave, the cheeks faintly flushed, the liquid-amber eyes rolling.

"Tell me how you feel." Daisuke was surprised by the huskiness of his own voice.

"Nnn, nnn…" Kyousuke whined softly as the toy was withdrawn from his prostate. "Dai-chan – "

"How do you feel?"

"S-so good, please, I just wish it was you – "

 _God don't tempt me._ "We'll get there. You want some more?"

He laughed slightly at the vehement nod, and pressed the vibrator back to the pleasure gland. Hungry for it almost to the point of madness, Daisuke took the bobbing cock into his mouth and sucked. The fluid came in a rush, announced only by a strangled sob, and Daisuke sucked so hard that Kyousuke's hips lifted off the bed, draining the organ and the testicles. Swallowing the sweet-salt essence and happy to have prompted it, Daisuke carefully withdrew the toy. He cleaned it hastily with a moist towelette. After quickly stashing the vibrator away, the actor grabbed the package of wipes and reverently wiped his sated partner of all evidence they'd been intimate. _We were so lucky just now_ , Daisuke silently prayed, _thank you, gods._

Kyousuke smiled dreamily as his pajamas were put back on. "Dai-chan, don't you want me to…"

"I'm good, baby. Fear of your brother is keeping me soft."

Kyousuke pulled his lover down to him for a kiss so sweet it left the other breathless. "He likes you. Which is amazing. He used to have background checks done on my classmates."

"He was right to. Right?"

"I should have told him about Endoke. I know. I should have told _someone_."

Laying facing the teenager, Daisuke cupped and stroked the fine-boned face. "I understand why you didn't. But baby, please…"

"I'll tell you from now on. I promise," Kyousuke said earnestly, though privately he knew he'd have to consider Daisuke's safety. Not everyone was as easily caught and cowed as Endoke.

The elder sighed, surprising the teenager with a rather old-man expression. "I know what you're thinking. You're thinking you won't tell me if you fear for my safety."

Kyousuke shrank back; the caressing hands followed him. "Dai-chan, can you read my mind?"

"No, baby. I just know you'd consider me before yourself. Please, don't do that. If anything more happened to you…"

Kyousuke blinked back tears. "But I love you as much as you love me, I know I do. I have to protect – "

"Yourself," Daisuke interrupted. "Your safety comes first, do you understand?"

Surprising him, the boy edged back out of the stroking hands. "I'm not allowed to protect you? I'm not allowed to love someone more than myself but you are?"

Kyousuke sat up and moved to leave his bed, wincing a little when Daisuke sprang up and tried to hug him. The boy half-heartedly struggled, torn between his constant desire to be in Daisuke's arms and his need to make a point.

"Baby – "

"Fitting nickname, since you think I should be selfish and helpless and just let you handle everything and maybe be hurt," Kyousuke whispered angrily, though it literally hurt his heart to speak this way to his soul mate. "I'm going to sleep with Aniki."

"Baby, please – "

"Let go." The frail-looking body began to faintly shake.

"I'm sorry. Please stay and talk to me."

"I'm supposed to consider only myself, right? Then why should I?"

Daisuke pulled the slender body flush against his own, being gently forceful in pulling Kyousuke's face to his neck, where the scent of his body wash was strongest, the same smell as his cologne. Kyousuke fought him until the scent filled his senses, and his anger began to crumble. Here was safety, here was unconditional adoration forever, and Daisuke was right, he wasn't stronger than the force that held them together.

Kyousuke pressed his forehead to Daisuke's shoulder, and now his body was shaking because he was crying. He couldn't hold onto anger at Daisuke, but he sure could turn that bitterness inward and hate himself, hate the stupid child who let people touch him and did nothing. He didn't feel he deserved the arms holding him, the voice that kept softly saying, "I love you. I'm sorry. I love you. I'm sorry…"

"Just…just let go." _I'm not worthy of this._

"I'm sorry. I can't. Please forgive me. Baby, I didn't mean to…it just kills me that you don't value yourself as much as I do. The thought that someone might hurt you and you wouldn't tell me…"

Daisuke sounded so listless and melancholy that the boy stopped wiggling and hugged him back, inhaling the cologne scent like oxygen. Daisuke cradled the boy's head in one hand, fingers entwined in silky hair, other arm encircling the shivering body. He began to gently kiss all the skin that the pajamas didn't cover, the bit of shoulder, the neck, the delicate shell of each ear, finally the face with eyes resignedly closed. He was doing it somehow with no relation to sex or desire, though he wanted this body and its soul every minute. This was merely love, and a tiny example of the vastness of love.

"Not fair," Kyousuke whispered into the warm skin.

"Making you smell me?"

"I can't trust myself with you," the boy said unsteadily, sniffling as the arms around him tightened. "I can't stay mad at you. My brother could've come in any moment before, and I still let you…if Aniki had seen what we were doing he would've literally killed you, and…"

As the tears began to dampen him, Daisuke led the teenager back to the bed and maneuvered him into it. Kyousuke continued to breathe in the reassuring scent of his lover as the top of his head was kissed and his back was rubbed.

"Baby, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry you."

"Not your fault, I wanted it too."

"You're right, though, it was risky. But we were lucky, and if Shinnosuke-san came in now, he wouldn't be surprised to see me comforting you. Even though he sees that as his job."

"I'm surprised he let me out of his grasp after he found out about Endoke."

"Well, he would have been out killing the asshole if your dad hadn't sealed the house and changed the alarm codes. And he didn't let you go so much as your parents pried him off of you."

"He likes you, you know. Eventually, I think Aniki will even be okay with us being together. He's never been as nice to any of my friends as he is to you."

"I'm happy to have Shinnosuke-san as a brother-in-law. I can tell he's a good person, and he's loved and protected you so long. I owe him more than I can ever repay."

"Why do you love me?" Kyousuke murmured into Daisuke's shoulder. "Why were you nice to me from the beginning?"

"I felt drawn to you immediately," Daisuke admitted. "Tomo teased me and called me a pedophile. He knew almost as quickly as I did that I wanted you…but it wasn't just physical even then. I found you so beautiful, but sad too. I wanted to take care of you, hold you, hide you from everything."

"And you still do?"

"My poor baby," Daisuke laughed softly, "dealing with a brother _and_ a boyfriend who would put you into a nice safe bubble given the chance."

"And Yuya too, I think."

"Mmm, true."

"Dai-chan? Are you still mad at him?"

"A little," the elder admitted, "but I'm working on it. You don't have to worry, baby. I'm not going to hurt him and he and I are still friends."

Kyousuke kissed his cheek. "Thank you."

"I know he genuinely loves you and just wants you to be happy. He's a better man than I, too. I would never be able to give you up, especially if I had to see another guy touching you."

"You're a good man too, Dai-chan." Kyousuke slid his fingers into Daisuke's dye-rough hair. "You're the best I've ever known."

"I'm good because I have you," Daisuke said softly as his hands stroked the boy chastely. "You're my good heart."

"Dai-chan," Kyousuke said sleepily.

"Close your eyes, baby. I'll be right here."

Kyousuke didn't dream, but drifted off. Not far, always aware that the man sleeping beside him was guarding him. The young man who checked on the pair a few times before sunrise wasn't very pleased to see the two actors hugging as they dozed, but found he didn't mind as much as he would have only a day earlier.

 **To be continued. I will, I promise.**


	20. Chapter 20

_Sigh. Another long wait, my apologies, if any of you are still with me. I promise, it may take a long time, but I will not abandon this story. I hope you'll similarly stick along for the ride._

 _Weirdly enough, for me, I don't think any warnings are necessary for this chapter. Are you as disappointed as I am?_

 _Don't own, blah de blah. Commence chapter._

 **HATSUKOI  
Chapter 20**

Kyousuke woke to feel the early-summer sun shining on him through his window. Before he could stir or even open his eyes, he heard two voices softly speaking close by, one nearer, belonging to the familiar hand petting his hair, and the other, the one he loved the most, emanating from the desk chair.

"Really, Shinnosuke-san, you need not keep thanking me. I'm just glad I walked in when I did."

Shinnosuke's answering voice sounded tired; Kyousuke wondered worriedly if his aniki had slept at all. "I disagree. I and my family can't thank you enough. To think he could've been…"

"He would have screamed. I think he was about to when I opened the door."

 _Dai-chan, how do you know me so well?_

"That's new. Being away has changed him. He's growing stronger…"

"Not because he's away from you, Shinnosuke-san."

"Again, I disagree. Kyou-chan has always had me looking over his shoulder. Even when I taught him judo moves, I told him he wouldn't need to use them, and I meant it. I think I thought I could really keep him on my lap forever."

Daisuke laughed. "He adores you, Shinnosuke-san, but Mao is strong. Too strong to hide behind you or me forever."

"He is strong. Just not in ways people can see."

 _Dai-chan saw. Right from the beginning, he saw._

"I worried so much when he left for the musical. I think part of the reason he wanted to was to prove his strength to me. And when we heard about that asshole costume designer trying to touch him, I raged at my parents that I was going to get him, that I knew this would happen. My dad put his hand on my shoulder and just said, 'We _all_ knew.' It wasn't a question of if it would occur, but how Kyou-chan would cope with it."

"And he got away from the danger and told me."

"He did exactly what we told him to. He didn't wilt like the family flower we treat him as. He must've been so embarrassed, but he did the correct thing."

"You must have been relieved, on top of the rage."

"Once I calmed down, I felt even more proud of him than usual."

Kyousuke felt warm. _You did, Aniki?_

"How did you handle him afterwards, Daisuke-san?"

"I took him to lunch, forced as many calories on him as I could, and talked about minor stuff until he had visibly relaxed."

"You did the right thing too. It seems you understood Kyou-chan well from very early." Though he didn't ask it aloud, Shinnosuke was clearly wondering how.

"I can't explain it," Daisuke said lightly, as casual as he could while at the same time thoughtful. "It's not as though he's a simple person. I guess I just felt protective of Mao-kun from our first meeting. And the only way I could look after him properly was to gain some understanding of him."

"I've seen here, and heard my parents speak of how attentive you are to Kyou-chan, how you seem to know what he needs without him saying anything." Shinnosuke laughed, but it held a bit of bitterness without malice. "That was always my thing."

"Have you been wanting to retire?" Daisuke joked.

"Not a thought of it…but at least I know now that I'm not the only one who can protect him adequately."

"You should know, Shinnosuke-san, that our whole cast adores Mao-kun. Most people he encounters end up feeling protective of him. I'm not planning to go anywhere either, but we should both remember that Mao-kun would probably be okay even without us. And if not yet, he's getting there."

The elder Hamao brother sighed. "I honestly don't know how I feel about that. Thrilled and devastated at the same time, I guess."

 _Aniki hardly talks to anyone this openly. You're so amazing, Dai-chan._

"I think that's normal, Shinnosuke-san. I've only come into Mao-kun's life recently and I feel attached to him. You must feel him like one of your limbs."

"That's a good way of putting it. And you get to hold onto Kyou-chan at least a while longer, with the musical…and the movie."

"I know you're uncomfortable about the film, Shinnosuke-san, and I don't blame you at all."

The teenager heard his brother shift, felt the mattress move. "I trust Kyou-chan and I've come to trust you. You need not worry that I'll challenge you to a fight. Well, not anymore."

The accompanying smile made Daisuke feel he could laugh. "I'm relieved. And grateful."

"I've been watching Kyou-chan, of course, and he seems all right, so I have to admit I was wrong. If he's handling rehearsing, I guess he can handle the…intimate scenes."

"I assure you – "

" – you'll stop if he needs you to. Has he stopped you yet?"

"He hasn't, no. I don't rely just on that, though. I watch him for signs of discomfort. Aside from some shyness about the kissing, he's blushed a bit, but not much more than that."

"Because it's you, I'm guessing. I'm glad it is and not someone else."

Kyousuke tried and failed to keep from smiling.

"Mao-kun told me you won't be watching the movie, though."

"Don't take offense."

"I don't. I'd feel the same if it was my sister."

"Are you close?"

"Not compared to you two," Daisuke laughed. "How many times did you check on him last night?"

To Kyousuke's surprise, Shinnosuke was laughing too. "Seven, I think. There was a long gap, I feel asleep while doing rage-sit-ups."

While the elder two chuckled, Kyousuke thought that must have been the little while he and Daisuke were being intimate. _I can't believe how lucky we were. And stupid._

"I hope you didn't mind how close together we were. I think Mao-kun was needing a safe touch."

"I understood. I confess a bit of jealousy, though, since I'm usually the one he clings to after bad experiences."

"You must be relieved to hand Mao-kun off to me, then," Daisuke laughed.

The room suddenly seemed to get cooler. Kyousuke shivered, and at once Shinnosuke gently and lovingly tucked a blanket around him. The boy sensed his brother walk to and open the door.

"That I'm not ready to do, Daisuke-san," Shinnosuke said quietly, and closed the door behind him.

Sighing, Daisuke came to sit on the bed, and showed no surprise when Kyousuke grabbed and squeezed his hand.

"I'm not going anywhere, baby. No matter how long the road is, or how many obstacles."

 _daimaodaimaodaimao_

Kyousuke was used to being babied by his family after being grabbed or propositioned, but nothing of such severity had happened before, so he wasn't sure what to expect that morning. He held Daisuke's hand tightly almost until they reached the kitchen for breakfast, and took a deep breath as his parents came into sight, Shinnosuke having already left for the day. Masako and Masanori greeted the couple with overly-cheery voices and expressions to match, and no one but Daisuke noticed Kyousuke wince slightly.

"Sleep well, boys?" Masanori asked.

"Yes," Kyousuke said quietly.

Daisuke let out a convincing laugh. "Yes, but no one warned me your son is a blanket-thief."

Looking relieved, Masako pushed a platter of pancakes toward the actors. "Shinnosuke has made the same complaint."

"Always make sure Kyousuke has his own blanket," Masanori said cheerfully, putting bacon on his son's plate without asking if he wanted it. "Or crank the heat up high."

"I thought I'd be safe in this warmer weather," Daisuke said pleasantly, quickly squeezing his boyfriend's hand, "but Mao-kun is like a black hole into which warmth disappears."

Finally the teenager cracked a smile, and felt a little more interested in the food, of which he took a forkful. "Am not."

"Are. If acting doesn't work out for you, you could work as a human refrigerator."

"That doesn't even make sense."

"A wine cooler, then. You could hold a bottle in each hand. No refrigeration required."

The parents laughed gratefully, and Masako tsked at her son for threatening to pour syrup into Daisuke's lap. Masanori, who talked very expressively with his hands, regaled them with a description of a dream he'd had the previous night, which involved turning into a sea gull and getting drunk at a party held by a gang of yakuza crabs, and ended with getting trapped inside a talking soda can.

"Dad has really weird dreams," Kyousuke explained before eating the last bit of food on his plate, not because he felt hungry anymore but to please everyone else at the table.

Masanori waited until the boy swallowed. "Did you have any dreams, Kyou-chan?"

Kyousuke shook his head. It was true; at least he didn't remember any. He looked down, felt his parents' eyes fixed on him. He felt annoyed, realizing they had intentionally waited until he had eaten. Just until this moment, his full stomach had felt warm and comfortable; now it felt like a boulder was lodged in his mid-section. The boy stared at his knees until Masako slowly, gently tilted his chin up.

"Kyou-chan."

"Dai-chan and I were going to go for a walk." He hated the timid voice that came out of his mouth.

"Son," Masanori began, then hesitated.

Seeing his parents so sad made the weight in Kyousuke's stomach feel heavier. He looked at them, one and then the other, but it was the glance at Daisuke's loving gaze that freed his voice.

"I'm okay, really."

Masako wiped her eyes. She was not a woman who cried easily or often. Daisuke slowly took his boyfriend's hand under the table.

"Son," Masanori said again, "I don't, we don't want to remind you of something painful for you, but we do need to talk."

"Okay," the boy more mouthed than said.

"If you'd like me to step out of the room," Daisuke said regretfully, "I'll understand completely."

"Don't leave," Kyousuke whispered, and felt his hand being squeezed in relief.

"If Kyou-chan wants you to stay, Dai-chan, please do." Masanori forced a relieved smile. "Kyousuke…how long was Endoke…bothering you?"

The boy gave the same answer he'd given Daisuke, that he had been around ten, that it started seemingly innocently with lap-sitting and over-the-clothes touching. Feeling Daisuke's love and strength flowing into him, Kyousuke repeated the lie, that all men wanted from him the same as Endoke did.

"Oh, baby," Masako murmured, drying her cheeks.

"I'm sorry."

"It was not remotely your fault," Masanori said firmly, his own eyes wet. "But Kyou-chan, why didn't you tell us?"

"At first…I thought it was my fault, that I was…doing something. And then…I was embarrassed…and he was your friend."

"Son…did he…get any further than he did last night?" Masanori's pain was being held back, but still, it filled the room like a lack of air.

"No, Tou-chan. I promise."

Masanori reached for and held his son's free hand. "Son, I am so – "

"Please, Tou-chan, no," Kyousuke said shakily. "You couldn't have known."

"Baby," Masako said, trying to keep from crying any more, "does anyone else we know…bother you?"

"No, Kaa-chan. It was just him."

"Son, I know it's embarrassing, but I want you to promise you will tell someone if anyone ever tries to touch you like that, me, your mother, Dai-chan, your director. It is not your fault when someone tries to hurt you and you're doing nothing to cause it, unconsciously or otherwise. All right?"

Kyousuke gave his father a weak smile. "Yes, Tou-chan."

"Please come here a moment."

Kyousuke willingly stepped into his father's embrace, only wiggling when he was firmly pulled onto Masanori's lap. "Tou-chan!"

"Indulge your father for a moment, son."

"Dai-chan, help," Kyousuke half-pleaded, half-laughed.

"Sorry, baby," Daisuke chuckled. "It wouldn't be polite to wrestle with my host, even if done for chivalrous reasons."

Masanori squeezed his youngest child to reassure himself and help dispel the shadow in the room. Masako went over to the tangle of her husband and son to kiss them both. When his parents weren't looking, Kyousuke caught Daisuke's eye and smiled. There was a strength in it that pleased Daisuke, though it didn't surprise him.

 _daimaodaimaodaimao_

"If you came to probe me for trauma like everyone else – "

Takanori snorted. "I'm no psychiatrist, kiddo, even though your brother calls me the Cat Whisperer."

"Do you want me to get Roku, then?"

"To be honest, I convinced your parents you'd rather see me than explain Endoke the asshole to your pediatrician. Roll up your sleeves, please."

With a hmph, Kyousuke shifted the thin, long-sleeved blue shirt so his arms were bare. With a frown and a sigh, Takanori gently touched the hand-shaped bruises on the fair, flawless skin.

"Do they hurt?"

"No. Oji-san, you know I just bruise easily. I'm okay."

"Don't worry about my feelings," the veterinarian said gently. "Do they hurt?"

"No, I promise, not anymore."

"Okay." Takanori took a small jar from his bag and opened it. "This will help."

"Are you using animal medicine on me?" the boy asked with a laugh.

"Not this time." As Takanori softly rubbed the cream into the bruised skin, he said, "Don't interpret this as pressure to break the news, but you should know, Dai-chan earned himself a lot of points with the Hamao family last night. When you're ready, I think he'll be welcomed with open arms."

"Even though you all think I'm eternally five?"

"Don't exaggerate, I think we've let you move up to at least seven by now. How's the romantic life going?"

"Perfect," the boy said sentimentally.

"Good, a totally unbiased answer. Dai-chan continues to treat you like the precious commodity you are?"

"He's wonderful."

"He must be, you've got stars in your eyes. Is thinking of Daisuke what's making you shiver, or do I need to get the thermometer?"

"No, that stuff is just cold."

"You know, you'd be less cold – "

"If I put on some weight," the boy groaned. "I know, I know. It's not like I stay this size on purpose. Between Dai-chan and you guys, it's amazing I'm not a thousand pounds."

"A pity, you'd be so easy to keep track of. Does this hurt?"

"Uh-uh."

"Kyou-chan, you winced. Since when do you lie to me?"

"I…"

"Yeah, yeah, you never want to worry anyone. What are your plans for the day?" Takanori asked as he took a vial from his bag, shook a pill into his hand, and passed it to his nephew.

"What is this?"

"Pain-killer. No arguments or I call in the pediatrician who, if I remember correctly, likes to take temperatures…uncomfortably."

The boy made a face, but swallowed it. "Dai-chan and I were going to take a walk, and we're going to run lines. Other than that, the day's pretty open."

"Change of plans. You've got about ten minutes to get to your bed, then you're taking a nap, much-needed, I'd guess, by how tired you look."

"Huh? A nap? Wait, what exactly did I just take?"

"Prescription-strength analgesic, and with your small size, it's going to have you out a few hours."

"Oji-san! What about Dai-chan?!"

"No worries." The man grinned. "Plenty of time for me to chat with my future nephew-in-law."

 _daimaodaimaodaimao_

"I know I'm not particularly threatening, but you could at least pretend to be intimidated."

Daisuke smiled at the man on the other side of the coffee table. He had known right away he liked Hamao Takanori.

"I figured you wouldn't buy it. All you really know about me, after all, is that I'm a professional liar."

"Good point. But you're not faking how much you love my nephew. No one's that good an actor."

"I adore him beyond the capacity of words to express."

"Oh, poetic too. Another point in your favor. Did Kyousuke tell you I'm fond of poetry?"

"No. But when he does speak of you, it's with great fondness."

"He's a dear child. It's no wonder he charms everyone he meets."

Daisuke spoke cautiously to the knowing smile. "Mao-kun says you'll keep our secret."

"I will. The two of you can tell the family in your own time, and I think the other Hamaos will be mostly as pleased as I."

"Thank you, Takanori-san. That means a great deal to me. I assume you said 'mostly' in reference to Shinnosuke-san."

The veterinarian sighed. "It's understandable. He's spent his life watching people mentally undress a child that, if Kyousuke were his own son, he couldn't love more."

"I do understand. Has it really always been this bad?"

"Kyousuke didn't have an awkward phase. He went from porcelain doll to bishounen overnight. Shinnosuke has gotten rid of friends who came over only to look at Kyousuke, learned judo in fear of kidnapping attempts, and threatened violence on an awful lot of modeling agents before Masako finally gave in. And I'm sure there are incidents I don't know about."

Daisuke looked, and somehow felt, pale, but his soft voice was resolute. "I can only promise to do my best."

"You do more than that. Kyousuke glows now even more than he used to. In you, he has more than a new protector. He finally feels like he's worth protecting."

"He's more than I deserve, but I promise, I will do everything I can to make him happy."

"And…whatever may have happened while he's been away, you've held his heart together." Takanori put up an open hand. "I won't ask, Kyousuke will tell me anything he wants me to know. He's happy. He's fighting for what the two of you have become."

"I don't know how a single person can be so strong and yet so sensitive. I think he trusts me more than I trust myself."

Takanori was quiet a few moments. "How's your English, Dai-chan?"

"Pretty good. I spent some time in New York during college."

Takanori passed over two folded sheets of paper. "Kyousuke will tell you, I like to express my feelings through other people's poetry. I translated one of my favorite Sara Teasdale for him, though of course it's much better in the original language."

Daisuke unfolded the top page and began to read. The first four lines said as much as the kind man's gaze, the love that beamed out of him when he looked at his nephew, a love bound together with unfailing hope.

"Child, child, love while you can  
The voice and the eyes and the soul of a man;  
Never fear though it break your heart -  
Out of the wound, new joy will start."

 **To be continued. As I've said, I'm not giving up.**


End file.
